Hits & Misses: Wicked City

Real Talk: Wicked City was my introduction into the more mature anime when I was a kid.

Hit: Just to get this out of the way, the animation even in 1987 is really good.

Hit: Kanako's/Spider Woman's character design, it's not everyday that the spider woman concept be taken so literal in fiction. 

Real Talk: Now if this was made live-action today the Spider Woman character would've been CGI'ed as hell and would've looked like shit.

Real Talk: Also the Spider Woman was my second waifu before waifus were popular, the first being Jessica Rabbit.

Hit: *Taki punches one of the Black World assailants so hard that he made a hole straight through the chest.* I don't care if anime doesn't explain how Taki did it, that was awesome.

Hit: The assailant goes full on John Carpenter's The Thing, hell he even has he head turned upside down and sprouts legs and eyes.

Hit:  Taki's gun is like if the Caster Gun from Outlaw Star had a baby with the Dominator from Psycho Pass.

Miss: The Mayart character is such a creepy pervert in the anime that he makes Master Roshi look like a saint.

Miss: Not to mention he can be such an annoying asshole.

Miss: As awesome as Makie's fingernail claws are I can't help but to get Superman IV Nuclear Man flashbacks.

Real Talk: Wicked City was shown on local TV when I first watched it. And out of most of the scenes with sex and nudity, the scene with Makie getting throat rape by a body horror creature was left uncensored.

Real Talk: Mayart's little guilt trip plea to Taki to let Makie die and protect him is complete bullshit. Which will be explain later.

Real Talk: When these Black World women say "come inside my body" they mean that literally. 

Hit: *Taki punches one of  Shadow's henchmen so hard that he literally knocks the guy's head off.* I don't care if the anime doesn't explain how that was too damn awesome.

Miss: But I have to asked how weak are these Black World guys if they're easily beaten by this one normal guy? Makie is one thing because she's from the Black World but what makes Taki so special?

Hit: Oh shit, Shadow's got Guyver/Kars elbow blades.

Real Talk: Taki getting chew out by his boss for abandoning Mayart is complete bullshit which again I'll explain why later.

Hit: *Taki and Makie making out in some church with a blue hue in the scene.* Suddenly I'm getting Lifeforce flashbacks.

Miss: The anime never once mentioned that Mayart's some powerful psychic. So with that said, if he's such a powerful psychic then why would he need bodyguards? That's like sending secret services to protect Superman, it's freaking pointless and retarded.

Miss: So it's revealed that Mayart was sent to protect Taki and Makie due to two of them being compatible of having children. Which the organizations of the human world and the Black World have been planning for thousands of years. Now if that's the case why the fake bodyguard assignment especially with the possibility of one or both of them would end up?   

Miss: If making an human/Black World offspring is so important why not have Taki and Makie agree to some artificial inseminations? Was banking on these two to eventually hook up and fuck while in dangerous situations really the smartest way to go?    

Miss: And since the whole bodyguard assignment was bullshit what was with Mayart grilling Taki to forget about saving Makie earlier, reverse psychiatry?  

Hit: The fight between Mayart and Shadow is pretty intense, there's even a scene where Shadow gets a large crucifix stabbed to his face. 

Hit: Shadow turns into a proto-Resident Evil Tyrant, makes wonder if Capcom got their inspiration from this anime?

Miss: Apparently getting knocked-up makes Makie powerful enough to kill proto-Tyrant Shadow in one strike. That's not some plot convenience bullshit at all.

Hits & Misses: Edge of Tomorrow

Real Talk: Hey everyone and Happy Fuck Off, 2020! Now get use to me pointing out the heavy contrasts between this movie and the manga/novel it's based from. And oh boy it's embarrassing.

Miss: In the manga, the story's told from Keiji Kiriya's perspective about mankind's war with the Mimics. Here it's the old Plot Exposition News cliché. 

Miss: As much as the film's version of the Jackets looks cool, they're chew toys compare the manga version which are fully armored powersuits.

Hit: To the studio's credit at least they didn't cast Tom Curse to portray Keiji Kiriya who's Japanese. But instead made a new character for the movie.

Miss: But then again I have to asked why couldn't they just cast a Japanese actor to play Keiji Kiriya? 

Real Talk: And no I'm not accepted that stupid "not every character in anime/manga are Japanese" excuse. Let me go right ahead and curve stomp on that argument. Unless you're referring to an anime and/or manga that takes place in an non-Japanese setting with non-Japanese characters then that argument is retarded. 

Real Talk: And if you're not so sure which anime/manga fits the description then here's a little list for you.
Berserk
Full Metal Alchemist
Project Blue Earth SOS
Tiger & Bunny
Cowboy Bebop
Outlaw Star
One Piece
Trigun
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 1, 2, 3 and 5

Miss: This is most likely some plot contrivance because why else Cage is just drafted to the frontlines with next to no training nor prior battle records. I don't know how it works in military but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't just deployed an non-combat officer to combat. Unless they enjoy losing or something.   

Miss: The majority of All You Need Is Kill takes place in Japan where the Mimics are currently invading. Why the studio change it to most of Europe fuck if I know.

Hit: Ladies and gentleman Mr. Bill Paxton, god rest his soul.

Miss: *Kimmel wears no clothes under his Jacket, getting a clear view of his ass.* I did not need to see that. Also that would make you a huge target not wearing any other protection besides the Jacket.

Miss: Keiji in the manga got in some training before shipped off to fight the Mimics. Cage has giving no training nor knowledge on how to operate a Jacket. Because that's not gonna get someone killed at all. I feel like this movie's bum-rushing to the battle without proper set up at all.

Hit: Emily Blunt with a buster sword, yup that's bad ass enough for me.

Miss: But I have to be that asshole when I say that this hunk of metal ain't shit compared to the manga counterpart. Which is a giant fuck off battle-axe that'll even make Guts from Berserk blush. 

Miss: As bad ass Rita Vrataski is, it's really irresponsible for her to be in combat without a helmet. 

Miss: Since I'm talking about Rita, she's an American from Illinois in the manga. And fuck me if I know why the studio changed her nationality in the movie.

Miss: They wanted Cage at the frontlines yet couldn't be bothered to give him proper training. Or in this case helping him to switch off the Jacket's weapons safety. Accountability, what's that?

Miss: When the time loop first started in the manga, Keiji thought it was a dream at first. Until he died then awakes the previous. Eventually he learns about the time loop; using it to train, improve and even acquired new weapon to kill Mimics. Basically trying different scenarios to find a way out of the time loop. The movie on the other hand becomes a running gag after first time loop, just wasting runtime with Cage getting killed over and over again. 

Miss: In the manga only Keiji and Rita know about the time loops and how the Mimics believe. While in the movie some rando doctor knows about it along with Cage and Rita.

Miss: Also in the manga there was a top secret research team studying the Mimic time loops. Yet in the movie no organization knows about the time loops

Real Talk: Rita explains to Cage how she was able control the time loops until she lost via blood transfusion. I'll come back to this later just keep this in mind.

Miss: More death loop running gags, at least Keiji and Rita respectively got better at not dying so quickly with every time loop. This is just more runtime wasted on padding instead actually plot progression.

Hit: OK seeing Cage and Rita kicking ass is pretty awesome.

Miss: And here's where the bullshit starts piling up. So the movie established that there's a "Omega" Mimic that controls all the Mimics and by killing it kills all the Mimic. Furthermore if an "Alpha" Mimic is killed the Omega resets the day. In the manga there's no such creature that controls all Mimics and method of time looping is wholly different.

Miss: Cage and Rita got their time looping ability from an Alpha Mimic's blood after killing it. In the manga on the other hand a special type of Mimic which acts as a network server with the rest of the Mimics. Once that Mimic is killed it sends a tachyon signal to the past, triggering the time loop. Keiji and Rita got their ability from killing a Mimic Server. However, it's revealed near the end that the Mimic signal has affected Keiji's and Rita's brains to the point of receiving this signal that cause them to time loop. And in order to end the time loop completely one of them has to die. Now this whole "kill the main thing, you kill the rest of the things" plan sounds like the most bullshit of plot convenience just to throw in happy ending for Cage and Rita.   

Miss: Also that whole losing the time loop power via blood transfusing is bullshit as well.

Miss: *Cage managed to kill the Omega which cause it to bleed for Cage to time loop one last time.* Now how did Cage just got looped back in time with the Omega Mimic dead? Wouldn't that mean the Omega could time looped back as well if that's the case? The writers of the film really had to throw logic out the window for that unearned happy ending.

BONUS ROUND

Miss: In the manga Keiji's platoon sergeant, Bartolome Ferrell is a bit of a beef cake of Brazilian and Japanese decent. In the movie he's played by a white guy.

Miss: Rita's mechanic in the manga is a Native American name Shasta Raylle. Whereas in the movie they replaced her with some British guy.

Miss: Rita in manga was from a small town in Illinois who survived a Mimic attack but her parents weren't so lucky. Afterwards she steals a passport from a refugee, Rita Vrataski in order apply for the UDF under a false identity due to being too young. While it's revealed that Rita Vrataski is not her real name, the manga also keeps Rita's real name unknown to the reader. Of course none of this important detail is nowhere to be found in the film. Which makes the film version Rita suffering from the "bad ass female character with zero development/characterization" syndrome.

Real Talk: And it really doesn't help Emily Blunt with such a hollowed out character she had to portray.

Miss: The movie doesn't display the mental/emotional strain on Cage and Rita with the multiple time loops they went through like the manga.

Real Talk: Sure I've been pretty bias against this film but even if I haven't read the manga I'd be calling bullshit with Edge of Tomorrow.

50th Hits & Misses: Mortal Kombat

Real Talk: Before diving into the Resident Evil series I wanna review the one video game adaptation film that was actually good back when Paul W.S. Anderson actually gave a damn. Instead of making shallow in-name garbage while shacking up with a certain actress that I have a perpetual stink eye for. And in case you're wondering no I won't be reviewing Monster Hunter.

Hit: This film's theme music....

Hit: And sense I'm here, this film's soundtrack.

Hit: This film's opening title sequence.

Hit: I think they made a good choice casting Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Shang Tsung.

Hit: Trevor Goddard as Kano was just too good, so good in fact that Midway Games/NetherRealm Studios changed Kano in the later games to match with the film version.

Real Talk: Although it's a real shame that Trevor Goddard isn't around to reprise the role in the current MK games. God rest his soul.

Hit: Also credit to the make-up department for Kano's half metal face.

Real Talk: *Johnny Cage leaving a movie set.* Discount Steven Spielberg?

Miss: Movie doesn't fully explain/establish how the fighters were chosen to participate in the tournament. They're either hand picked through deception by Shang Tsung or in Liu Kang's case he up and volunteers to participate the tournament.     

Hit: It's no coincidence that they cast Christopher Lambert to play an immortal bad ass. 

Hit: The some of the special effects weren't exactly on the levels of Jurassic Park but it beats the shoestring effects from every Asylum movie. 

Real Talk: Originally Cameron Diaz was casted to play Sonya Blade before being replaced due to an injury. To be honest I'm glad they went for a different actress for Sonya Blade. Not saying Cameron Diaz is terrible but back in 1995 I just don't see her as Sonya.

Hit: You can tell they spared no expense when it came to the set designs and locations.

Hit: Say what you will but at least this movie attempted at staying accurate story-wise with the source material. Unlike that previous fighting game adaptation film which disregard the source material for the sake of being just another over the top action flick. 

Hit: Raiden talking to Liu Kang, Johnny and Sonya: "One of you will decide the out come of the tournament. The faith of billions will depend upon you." *laughs* "Sorry..." 

Miss: Not gonna lie the effects for the Reptile creature was really meh.

Miss: *Shang Tsung's lackeys removed all the dining tables to make room for Sub Zero's demostration.* What a waste of all that food.

Hit: *Sub Zero uses a fatality move on a lackey whom explodes into chunklets.*

Hit: Goro is by far the best practical effects ever done in this film. 

Hit: Also he actually does things in this movie unlike some other four armed character in the sequel who does absolutely nothing until she's killed off.

Miss: In most tournament based action movies like Bloodsport there's always a bracket system to keep score on the winning fighters. Here there's no such system, so how does Shang Tsung keep track on all the winning and lost fighters in this tournament?  

Hit: Shang Tsung absorbing the soul from a defeated fighter: "Your soul is mine..." That line with that face.

Hit: Kano talking to Sonya: "Ello baby... Did you miss me?"

Hit: Sonya's hand stand leg lock move!

Hit: Kano while in Sonya's leg lock: "Oh give me a break!" Sonya: "OK..." *Snaps his neck.* Not a very good choice of words.

Miss: I love the effects of  Scorpion's spear move but why did they changed it from a kunai attached to a rope to some weird bird-serpent thing?

Hit: *Johnny Cage vs Scorpion* Ed Boon provided Scorpion's voice for his famous phrase, "GET OVER HERE!!!" And some other phrases in the film.

Hit: Johnny's Shadow Kick move!

Hit: Both the Johnny vs Scorpion and Liu Kang vs Reptile fights are the best ones in the movie. The soundtrack for both these fights helps too.

Hit: Scorpion's TOASTY move!

Real Talk: I really can't blame the film for being PG-13 for all it's worth.

Miss: At least we're shown Johnny brought some extra clothes, probably. But where did Sonya get the tank top and the shorts? She didn't bring any baggage when she was chasing after Kano on to Shang Tsung's ship.

Hit: *Johnny does his Nut Cracker Punch on Goro.* Yeah I know, you can't actually do the Nut Cracker Punch on Goro in the games. But honestly does it really matter?

Hit/LOL: Johnny talking to Goro: "Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole."

Miss:  The Reptile creature grabbed by some weird statue then transforms into Reptile from the first game. Now how or why did that happened, no idea.

Miss: Liu Kang doesn't yell his signature "YOGOLBOLGOLBODOGODO"  when doing his Bicycle Kick on Reptile.

Miss: I know Shang Tsung's back was turned but I still call bullshit of Liu Kang not noticing him shapeshifted right in front of him.

Hit: *Shang Tsung falls to his death of the pit of spikes like in the first game.*

Miss: Liu Kang: "Flawless Victory..." Ugh actually Shang Tsung hit you plenty of times before you defeated him. 

Miss: And here the movie ends on a sequel bait which leads to a really disappointed sequel.

Hits & Misses Halloween: Siren

Hit: *Nyx and some cop find dead bodies and a ritual circle at a run down church.* Cop: "What are they? Cultists? Satanists?" Nyx: "Amateurs...." I like this guy already....

Real Talk: *Red shirt cop gets stealth killed by young Lily then is dropped to the ground with his mouth ripped out.*Nyx: "Well that's not good..." Thank you Captain Obvious.... 

Miss: Jonah and Eva making out while really sucking at roleplaying.

Miss: Jonah's brother, Mac is Discount Stifler.

Hit: Big Black Ass shot.

Miss: What stripper wears flip-flops?

Real Talk: *Some guy talks to Mac about a special underground club.* Suddenly I'm getting Bordello of Blood flashbacks.

Hit: *Jonah enters a private room with a woman popping out on the other side of a small window.* Beautiful woman jump scare.

Hit: The actress playing Lily has the most beautiful eyes.

Real Talk: Nyx: "I want the fondest memories of your mother, from each of you. All of you... Now you give me that and Jonah will have a night he will never forget." There is foreshadowing in what he says.... 

Real Talk: *Lily starts singing to Jonah and he starts having intense sexual flashbacks of his previous relationships.* It's like he just had a wet dream/acid trip combo.

Real Talk: *Elliot asked the woman bartender for a "leech drink" and she serves it up.* Elliot: "What's it call?" Woman bartender: "Murder..." *Elliot and the others laugh.* Given when the movie reveals what she can do later I don't think she meant it as a joke.   

Miss: I understand Jonah wanting to do the right thing of setting Lily free from her locked room. But this is a horror movie and that would obviously be a bad idea.

Hit: After Lily snatches the keys from one of Nyx's masked men. She and Jonah hide in the restroom where she manages to unlock the bracelet on her ankle and proceeds to do a raptor sneak attack the masked man and feast upon the man. While the same time she ripped the guy's junk off.   

Hit: At least Jonah got the right idea of getting the fuck out of there.

Miss: Jonah didn't even went out the front door, he just appeared out of nowhere at the car. How and where did he got out the club.

Hit: Jonah did the smart idea of grabbing his phone from the glovebox before running away from the bad shit.

Hit: Nice night sky shot of the thunderstorm.

Hit: As much as Mac deserves to get lectured by Jonah, he still has a good point when it comes to Jonah decided to let out a literal man eater.

Hit: *Jonah realizes that Lily is following him by scent and immediately covers himself with mud.* Suddenly I'm getting Predator flashbacks.

Miss: I guess Jonah and Mac are just lucky enough for Lily unable to just look down at her feet to see if they're hiding in the tall grass.

Hit: *Rand's about to get tortured as Nyx watches.* Nyx: "You boys stuck your hand in the fire tonight and it is my right to see you get burned." Rand: "Why?!" Nyx: "Why? Cause you messed with the wrong motherfucker." This scene along demonstrates what a mean motherfucker Nyx is. 

Hit: Movie muffles all sound when Jonah plugs his ears with earbuds to block Lily's singing.

Hit: *Lily finds Jonah hiding behind the cafe counter.* Lily talking to Jonah: "I like you..." Oh Lily, you had me at "I like you". 

Hit: Also really good makeup effect for Lily's creature face.

Miss: Does Lily have teleportation powers, how did she get ahead of Jonah on the other side of the cafe kitchen door before he reached it? 

Real Talk: If I was in Jonah's position I wouldn't stop Lily from having sex with me.

Hit: Even covered in blood, Lily is so beautiful.

Real Talk: *As the two of them having sex, Lily uses her tail to "drydock" him. Suddenly I'm getting Splice flashbacks.

Hit: So it turns out the woman bartender has leeches for hair that she uses to absorb certain memories from people. Then those memories are transfer to other via drinks, hence why Elliot was acting odd earlier he was experiencing memories of someone killing a person. That's an interesting concept. 

Miss: *Mac shows up at the church to save Jonah only to get stabbed and killed by Nyx.* Yeah he was an asshole but at least he was being redeemable. 

Hit: *Lily kills Nyx with her tail.* That's some awesome Mortal Kombat Fatality move there.

Real Talk: Despite the fact of Lily being a creature from god knows where, she not necessarily the antagonist of the film. You even kinda feel sorry for her as she watches Jonah leaving the church with Rand.

Miss: Obvious fake as fuck photoshopped wedding photo ever.

Real Talk: If you listen closely Jonah is humming Lily's song.

Real Talk: *Jonah and Eva make out on their one year anniversary only to be reveal a bit later that it was actually Lily while Eva was sleeping on the couch.* Well at least he didn't get drydocked this time.

Real Talk: *Jonah almost convinces Lily to leave until Eva wakes and reacts to her. Lily's about to kill her until Jonah tells Lily that he'll go with her, sparring Eva in the process. Lily then takes Jonah and two fly off into the stormy night sky as Eva screams his name.* I don't know about anyone else but I considered this as a happy ending.

Real Talk: Fun fact, this movie's a spinoff, feature length adaptation of the V/H/S anthology segment, Amatuer Night. They even got the original actress, Hannah Fierman to reprise her Lily role.

Hits & Misses Halloween: Rupture

Real Talk: Originally I was gonna review Eli but looking back to it there was barely anything to work with. So here's this backup movie instead, enjoy.

Hit: Noomi Rapace in sci-fi horror thriller.

Miss: Big spider scare.... Fuck you movie!

Hit: Renee's son Evan is a bit of comic artist.

Real Talk: I just love Noomi's accent.

Real Talk: Suspicious surveillance cameras in horror movies are never a good sign.

Hit: Hi Michael Chiklis

Miss: Evan's dad is a real asshole.

Hit: *Renee is being abducted by two van drivers.* And there's that sexy scream of hers.

Miss: Normally the abductors would just duct tape the abductee's mouth but duct taping the whole head is kinda unnecessary. 

Hit: Gotta give credit the film's cinematography.

Hit: It's like I'm watching a horror version of 50 Shades of Gray. Which would be a lot better than the actual 50 Shades of Gray.

Hit: Hi Peter Stormare

Hit: *Renee's talking to another abductee in the next room. Until the abductors went into his room and to proceed to do god knows what as he screams "not my eyes" while there's a drilling sound revving in the background.* Well that didn't sound good at all but still scary though.

Hit: There's some pod people vibes from these people while they're testing Renee. Even that quark they do with caressing their faces on Renee's skin just makes them more alien in behavior. 

Miss: Oh god damn, another big ass spider scare!

Miss: Obvious CGI spider is obvious.

Hit: *Renee breaks out of her restraints and makes her way out the room from the vent.* Suddenly we went from sci-fi thriller 50 Shades to sci-fi thriller Die Hard.

Real Talk: *As Renee explores through the ventilation shafts, she sees other captives going through the similar "tests" as she has.* This group has been abducting people, injecting them with a solution and are putting through fear induced torture to trigger some type of change in them. Think of it as Resident Evil meets Hostel. 

Hit: Nice, intense music as Renee sneaks around this facility.

Hit: Renee sees one of them removing his contacts, revealing that his eyes are not normal.

Hit: *Dianne morphs her face to show Renee what she'll become if her genes are rupture.* Gross but cool effect.

Hit: You gotta love Peter Stormare's performance.

Real Talk: *Renee has a transparent helmet strapped to her head, which then is filled with spiders as she starts panicking.* Suddenly I'm getting the "AHHH NOT THE BEES" flashbacks.

Hit: *Renee starts bashing her head on anything to break open the helmet.* Gotta give credit to Noomi's performance in this scene.

Hit: Also more sexy Noomi screams.

Hit: *Renee continues into breaking the transparent helmet until she stops and begins to change. Indicating that she's finally rupture.* Honestly I'm glad this happened, I was curious to see if she would actually change. Would've been a bit disappointed if she didn't or died at the end.

Hit: Even as a newly evolved, emotionless genetic being, Noomi's still very beautiful.

Hits & Misses Halloween: Sweetheart

Hit: Movie later shows that there's something a lot worse than being stuck on an small island.

Miss: Jenn don't pull the sharp object out of Brad, now he's gonna bleed to death. Which he does shortly after she comes back with coconut milk.

Real Talk: *Jenn stumble across some very old belongings in the jungle.* Oh hey, a Game Boy!

Hit: *Jenn gets situated with fish for food, fresh water from the rainstorm and a makeshift tent.* Just because this is a horror movie doesn't mean the character has to be a dumbass.

Hit: *Jenn finds Brad's body dug up out eaten.* And the shit begins hitting the fan for Jenn.

Hit: *Another night on the island, Jenn spots an airplane flying overhead and quickly fires a flare gun. But as the plane continues flying away, the flare falls straight to the ocean until Jenn sees a silhouette of a large figure in the water as subtle music chings in.* This particular scene demonstrations that not every quiet scene in a horror movie needs to end with your face jump scares. And that it's OK to be subtle while building tension.

Hit: Movie has a Predator vibe with Jenn hiding from the creature while the movie keeps the creature hidden for now.

Real Talk: *Jenn builds a makeshift raft but doesn't work out so well.* At least she try to leave the island; better than just sitting on her ass.

Miss: So this sea creature can't even so much as tear through a hollow log where Jenn is hiding in.

Hit: So far the character Jenn is shown to be capable and adaptive to her current situation. Instead being another one dimensional Mary Sue with plot convenience powers, Jenn is an ordinary character dropped into an extraordinary situation and she has to rely on survival instincts to get out of it.  

Hit: Also despite the lack of dialogue so far the movie still provides important information through Jenn's action on the island.

Real Talk: *Jenn leaves a bait hung on a tree only to look away for a few seconds and the bait is gone.* Apparently the sea creature is freaking Batman.

Hit: *The next night Jenn is camping in the trees with a makeshift hammock until she spots the sea creature from a distance stalking quietly.* Another excellent example of subtle scares/tension without the predictively annoying jump scares.  

Hit: *After the sea creature tears down the hammock, Jenn makes a run to the beach with sea creature giving chase. The sea creature then jumps into the water able to catch with Jenn.* Better than just running after the main character until they do something dumb for the plot.

Real Talk: As interesting the creature is why does it only come to the island at night?

Miss: Why's Jenn giving them old ass sodas to Lucas and Mia? I mean yeah they been adrift for days and are really thirsty but them Coca-Colas have been on the island probably since the 90s. They gotta be flat as shit by now. 

Real Talk: Jenn talk to Lucas while showing him the makeshift spear: "I got it last night, that's black blood." Well as the saying goes, "if it bleeds, we can kill it". 

Miss: Jenn: "I'd rather die on the raft than this place." Mia: "You don't know what it's like out there." Well it can't be any worse than what's been coming to the island, unless you know something you're out telling. If I was in Jenn's position I'd take my chances with the raft.

Miss: Jenn's using Lucas' pocket knife which has dried up blood on it. Jenn never brings it up to him, it's never shown again and the movie doesn't follow up on it. I could guess that something bad happened on the raft but again the movie doesn't follow up on this plot point. And it's not like Lucas and Mia are gonna say anything to connect the narrative dots. Point being that it served no narrative purpose and was just a waste of a plot thread.

Real Talk: *Jenn stocks up and takes the raft until she's stopped by Lucas and Mia.* Now trying to leave those two behind was a bit douchey but in Jenn's defense she's gone through a lot of shit to stay any longer. It's not like the movie is treating Lucas and Mia like a couple of sketics they're just being idiots. 

Miss: Well Lucas is such a sweet guy. Jenn tries to warm him about the creature and all he does is talked her down like some scumbag pimp.

Real Talk: *Mia is near the water until she's attacked by the sea creature attacks. Lucas tries to fight it off but gets knocked away, after which the sea creature takes the wounded Mia out to the ocean.* I bet these two feel a lot safe now after that. And no I don't feel bad for Mia, she was given ample warning about the creature and choose to ignored them. So fuck that bitch....  

Miss: *Jenn and Lucas head out on the raft until the creature starts attacking the raft.* So it does come out during the day. And it hasn't done so this whole time because???

Hit: The creature design is incredible, even in CGI it's impressive.

Hit: Now the more I think about it I wouldn't be surprised if the creature designer was inspired by the Zoanoids from the Guyver anime/manga.

Hit: *Jenn sets off a field of fire and does a stab and run tactic.* Suddenly I'm getting Predators flashbacks.

Hit: Another believability from Jenn is that she's not built like Wile E Coyote just to take a shit ton of punishment because the script says so. Unlike some other character whom just magically shrugs off a lethal death punch to chest with zero explanation of fucking how.

Hits & Misses Halloween: Bite

Hit: This is most impressive body horror film I've seen thus far. It's just right up there with The Fly (1986)

Real Talk: *Camera POV of Casey and her friends having their bachelorette vocation.* This is not some generic found-footage-movie, trust me and this will have a point later. 

Miss: A fake out scare, never a good start in a horror movie.

Miss: A jump scare by title card....

Hit: Casey's uncertainty of having a baby plays a nice parallel into what happens to her later in the movie.

Miss: For lack of a better phrase, Casey's fiance's mother is a real asshole and you'll hate her a lot.

Hit: Although the movie's a slow burn but it does some good subtle hints that something's a bit off with Casey.

Real Talk: *Casey and Jared are having sex until he unnoticeably grabs hold of Casey's rather nasty bug bite on her hip.* Well that's one way to ruined a sex scene.

Hit: Credit to the prosthetic effects on the Casey's bug bite.

Hit: Credit to the makeup department for having Casey looking sick as a dog. 

Miss: Stop messing with the bug bite, woman!

Miss: Good on Casey to call a clinic but why not just go to a hospital already?

Hit: *In a nightmare scene, Casey gets a surprise baby shower until she starts leaking out insect eggs and everyone starts stepping on them.* Impressive scene, gross but impressive.

Hit: Also nice practical effect with the insect eggs.

Miss: Even after noticing all the weird insect eggs in her apartment, Casey still doesn't go to the hospital.

Real Talk: Jared's mother: "I know that is not my son's child in you." Well you're not wrong.

Hit: Casey starts this little head twitch as she continues to change. Rather nice touch to give her some quark to her metamorphosis.  

Hit: *Casey spews acidic vomit on Jared's mother's face which kills her.* Suddenly I'm getting The Fly (1986) flashbacks. And also Jared's asshole mother is dead and I couldn't be more happier.

Hit: The actress playing Casey is a real trooper with all the weird goo she spews and being covered with.

Real Talk: Casey's friend Jill is such a bitch, you'll see why later.

Hit: Casey's apartment now looks like the Xenomorph hive from Aliens.

Hit: *Casey starts peeling off one of her fingernails.* Suddenly I'm getting The Fly (1986) flashbacks, again. 

Real Talk: Casey's friend Kristen is clearly wearing those paper thin yoga pants because you can see her ass as clear as day.

Hit: And since I brought it up, Kristen ass shot.

Miss: *Casey holding Kristen's body after she unintentionally kills her.* What a minute, Kristen was totally blinking in this shot! How did the editors missed that?!

Miss: Jared is pissing blood because why? Also it's never brought up again.

Miss: *Jared and Jill are having sex in her car.* Dude, you just pissed blood not too long ago. For all you know you might have AIDS and you're now infecting the poor bitch.

Hit: *Casey screams to a point both Jared and Jill started puking in the middle of sex.* Casey uses Screech, it was super effective.

Hit: Once again credit to the makeup department with Casey's full transformation.

Miss: So looking like what she is now, apparently Casey went outside and retrieved Jill's laptop without being noticed by anyone.

Real Talk: So during the bachelorette vocation it turns out Jill had a guy to take sexual advantage on the drunken Casey. Just to get Casey "cheating" on camera so Jill can have Jared all to herself once she showed the video. Like I said, Jill is such a bitch.

Hit: Casey kills Jill....

Hit: *Casey stabs Jared with her stinger.* Suddenly I'm getting Splice flashbacks.

Hit: *Jared curve stomps the fuck out of Casey's head.* Nice and the practical gore effect was really awesome. 

Real Talk: A week later it turns out Jared was implanted with Casey's eggs as they hatch out from his still alive bady.

Miss: Another jump scare from the title card.