Real Talk: It's exactly I remembered as a kid, cheesy as fuck.
Hit: Movie starts off with a police shootout.
Hit: Captain Strickland practically brought out a freaking Caster Gun!
Hit: And after that action scene we cut to a sex scene already in progress. Movie wastes no time at all.
Miss: *Decoda jumps into the driver seat and speeds away from the motorcade ambush.* Where the fuck did the limo driver go, did he get Thanos snapped between cuts?
Hit: *Slash drives the city bus through a low bridge that rips the roof of the bus right off.* Suddenly I'm getting Terminator 2 flashbacks.
Real Talk: Slash looks like Buff Bagwell with dreads.
Real Talk: And of course you can't have a dystopian future movie without some megacorporation in control of everything.
Hit: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. William Sanderson. God rest his soul.
Hit: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tommy Lister Jr. God rest his soul.
Real Talk: Meanwhile, at a random factory shootout.
Miss: Dumbass SWAT guy stands out in the open while firing his assault rifle with one hand.
Real Talk: KURT DECODA....BADASS ACTION HERO MODE ACTIVATED!
Real Talk: *In the middle of a hostage taking situation, Decoda shoots the hostage only to be revealed that she's actually an Iron Crow member.* Guess Decoda should be lucky that woman was a gang member. Otherwise this would've got really awkward.
Hit: As silly as the hologram effects look now, it's still pretty decent.
Miss: Oh yes, just shoot this one guy who's a hologram instead of flesh and blood. I'm sure that'll work somehow.
Real Talk: Discount Star Trek Next Generation Holodeck.
Hit: The actor playing Slash has such campy, over the top acting, I love it.
Miss: Typical corporate police force having no regard for the innocent.
Miss: Also have these corpos forgot that Slash's a hologram? What are they gonna do, talk him to death?
Miss: Corpo cops are getting shot despite taken cover while Slash's men are out in open without getting hit whatsoever. Just...how???
Hit/LOL: *Slash takes a shotgun and swings it like a baseball bat at a security drone.*
Miss: This one security drone doesn't attack Slash or his men. It just floats there and let's Slash swing at it.
Miss: Seriously how are these cops getting shot despite taken cover while Slash and crew are out in the open without taking a single hit?
Hit: One Eye: "Aren't you gonna party, Slash? The men are waiting for you." Slash: "I don't feel much like celebrating tonight." One Eye: "You look like you've lost your best friend." Slash: "No... Just my best adversary."
Hit: For a megalomaniac, Slash is such a badass.
Hit: *Close up shot of Slash ripping off his polymer skin.* That was a cool effect.
Hit: Hologram Fight, don't think I've seen anything like this.
