Sunday, July 3, 2022

Hits & Misses: Independents' Day






Real Talk: Well it's 4th of July might as well review a mockbuster version of the 1996 movie.

Real Talk: The Asylum, my ancient enemy....

Miss: Either these two military guys are on leave or there wasn't enough budget to have them be driving a military vehicle. 

Miss: The effects of the alien ships just gives off cheap sci-fi tv show vibes.

Miss: Obvious CGI alien ships blended in the background of obvious stock image cities are obvious.

Miss: The President: "Is the Vice-President at the [AWKWARD SHORT PAUSE]  Virginia bunker?" I'm positive the weird pause in that line was not intentional and couldn't be bothered for retake.

Real Talk: *Fighter jets in combat against the alien fighter crafts.* Why does this scene feel so familiar?

Miss: *The alien mother ship hovers above the White House and fires a particle beam weapon in the same manner from the movie Independence Day.* I know The Asylum is known for copying better movies but they could at least try to make it less obvious.

Hit: For some reason I think Vice-President Raney's kinda hot.

Real Talk: *Raney is sworn in as the new President after the current one died.* Independence Day Resurgence has a similar scene, now it's a matter which copied whom. 

Miss: Orion Alien Voice: "It is not our intent to destroy you. Our mission is one of peace." Says this after shooting down two fighter jets that were only on recon. And after taking out a fleet of fighter jets you vaporized the White House. Forgive me that I just don't believe your bullshit, especially when your true intent is revealed later.

Miss: The Orions can only evacuate 7 million people from Earth while the remaining humans are left to die. Well that's not sketchy at all. And why 7 million instead the whole population, are they short-staffed or something?  

Miss: You know it really doesn't help using stock footage of different cities. Especially when there's people just walking along, paying no attention to the alien ships occupying the skies.

Miss: The Orion alien after Raney opens a dialogue: "You attacked us..." No they didn't, you attacked first. Either these aliens have a really bad memory or this movie's writer does?

Real Talk: You've seen this in many low budget sci-fi, alien/futuristic interiors made from plastic crates and pallets.

Miss: What impressive medical technology the Orions have, Raney's son gets heal from an illness while screaming in pain. 

Real Talk: There's these militia group fighting against the aliens and that's all I can tell you.

Miss: This one cop lets a small group of armed militia pass the blockade to the Orion transport ship. What could possibly go wrong.

Miss: Raney's husband is working with the First Earth militia, what could possibly go wrong?

Miss: The same small group of First Earth militia from the first transport ship enters a different transport ship yet the Orion scanners don't seem to recognize them. Such an advanced race these Orions are.

Miss: The transport ship can scan for weapons but not any type of explosives. This isn't obviously convenient at all.

Miss: And apparently these Orion scanners can't hear the militia group talking loud and clear about their plans.

Miss: *A Dr. Goddard performs an autopsy on a dead Orion recovered by the First Earth group.* They have decent prosthetic effects for close ups of the alien but uses an obvious GCI of the alien for pan outs.

Miss: Also this guy didn't seem to be perform any autopsy considering there's no surgical procedures or anything. The guy's just sitting down listing things. And I'm pretty sure most cadavers are facing up in autopsies.

Miss: There's a military major trying  to access a computer system on the transport ship and no security system isn't attempting to stop him. And this was after the alien computer fires a laser beam at a red shirt lieutenant. 

Miss: And what a convenience for the alien computer to understand human language for some reason.

Miss: *Goddard creates a pathogen that'll kill the Orions.* Suddenly I'm getting V/War of the Worlds flashbacks.

Hit/LOL: This line from Kelly Reed: "It's time to blow up some more alien shit."  

Miss: This line from President Raney apologizing to Major Fry: "I'm sorry for the loss of your men." Man, he had only one man with him! The fuck are you talking about?!

Miss: *Raney discuss matters with the Orion Queen.* The GCI of the queen and the background makes me feel like I'm playing an FMV game.

Miss: Oh no! The aliens had a hidden agenda this whole time! Just look how shocked I am.  -_-

Miss: So the Orions need human blood to power their energy source. As impressive the concept is there's a lot holes in the execution. First they drain the blood from humans which kills them; they don't even preserved the bodies or anything. Bit of a waste of limited resources when there's no options to maintain it like cloning or human livestock.  

Miss: The skies raining fire and debris yet everything looks normal on the ground.