Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Hits & Misses: Oculus



Hit: When I saw the WWE logo in the trailer I thought it was gonna be goofy ass shenanigans with WWE wrestlers. But upon watching the movie I was thankfully wrong.

Hit: This movie's soundtrack.


Miss: Ahhh...it's the guy who plays "Fuck Batman" Robin from Titans!


Real Talk: I wonder if Karen Gillan was wearing a wig for this movie? If she was this could've been the second movie of having a sexy bald Karen Gillan.


Hit: Also Karen Gillan!


Hit: Even when doing an American accent she's still so hot.


Miss: So this evil mirror was being auction off in front of dozens of people yet nothing happens. What the hell?


LOL: Tim doesn't know how to open doors when there's a buzzer.


Hit: God that gorgeous Karen Gillan smile though!


Hit: Hi Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff)!


Hit: Also Starbuck with red hair.


Miss: *Starbuck standing in front of a mirror with her robe barely open.* Scene doesn't contain any Starbuck Boobs. I mean this is a horror movie right, nudity is practically the norm in the genre.


Hit: But if there's any hindsight the scene does contain a sexy half naked Starbuck.


Hit: The movie cuts between the events of the past and present day that does link up nicely with the story as it progresses.


Miss: *Kaylie sleeping with her fiance.* I am not Kaylie's fiance in this scene.


Hit: Karen Gillan in her nightie.


Miss: *Kaylie kissing her fiance.* I am not Kaylie's fiance in this scene. 


Hit: *Kaylie talking to the evil mirror.* Kaylie: "Hello again. You must be hungry." Something about this scene with those lines just makes Kaylie subtly creepy and feels a bit ominous. 


Hit: This movie has jump scares that are not only earned but they're subtle and unpredictable as all jump scares in horror should be.


Miss: Tim: "You named your dog, dog?" Kaylie: "He doesn't have a name." Well that's just mean, not naming a dog.


Hit: Points to this movie of having a character who has working knowledge about the evil mirror and its past victims and has come prepare. Rather than of having the usual dipshit cardboard cutouts in nearly every horror movie these days.


Miss: *Tim gets bitch slapped by Kaylie.* I'm not Tim in this scene, oh yes I would gladly get slapped by Karen Gillan if given the chance.


Hit: Also Karen Gillan Bitch Slap


Hit: Karen Gillan Ass Shot


Hit: I love it how natural the disagreements are between Kaylie and Tim. Kaylie believes that supernatural forces led to their parents being killed while Tim believes that their father was cheating on the mother, drove her crazy and then killed her. Kinda like Mulder and Scully but with better writing.


Miss: Why would the dad use a staple remover just to take off a band-aid? I know the mirror's messing with him but still.


Hit: Starbuck in her nightie.


Hit: Kaylie: "They did a bang up job on you in there didn't they? You were perfectly normal when they locked you up, you had to go bat shit to get out." This line.


Miss: Tim made Karen Gillan cry.


Miss: Oh great the movie made Starbuck cry.


Hit/Miss: Crazed Murdering Starbuck


Miss: *Kaylie and Tim as kids* With all the weird shit going on with their parents and everything you think Kaylie and Tim would just got the hell out of the house. I can assume that the mirror is keeping them from running away but I still stand with my argument.


Hit: *The mirror tricks Kaylie that she bite on a light bulb and starts bleeding but it was really an apple.* Despite this particular scene was spoiled in the trailer it's still awesome.


Miss: Although it would still be nice if the trailer didn't spoiled this scene at all.


Miss: Movie tries to make Starbuck look ugly.


Miss: *Young Kaylie goes to another house for help.* So the kids can leave their house but instead of getting far away as possible she just comes back with someone who was no help at all.


Miss: Damn it movie, stop making Karen Gillan cry!


Hit: Karen Gillan's ass....again.


Miss: Starbuck is dead and that sucks. Yeah I know the movie reveals this earlier but still.


Hit: Their dad snaps out of it long enough to have Tim to shoot him, damn.


Miss: Kaylie (Karen Gillan) is dead and that's bullshit!


Miss: So the cops just arrest Young Tim for what could have been self-defense in court. And why aren't they arresting Young Kaylie, what makes them think she wasn't involved as well?


Hit: It ends as it began.


Hit/Miss: Ghost Karen Gillan