Sunday, September 23, 2018

Hits & Misses: Kingsman The Golden Circle



Hit: Movie starts off with an exciting action scene.

Real Talk: Bad guy loses robot arm. They don't make robot arms like they use to.

Hit: Eggsy's dating the Sweden Princess from the first movie, good for him.

WTF: That was a weird scene transition, going from a bag of weed to a dense jungle.

Real Talk: Talk about being thrown into the meat grinder.

LOL: Also I'm getting Ricky Oh flashbacks.

Ewww: Poppy makes a burger out of the guy who was thrown into the meat grinder.

Ewww: Poppy makes the another guy eat the literal manwich.

Miss: Worst "make over" ever. Never heard of anesthetics, Poppy?

Miss: What a minute, a bunch of good guys getting killed off and what's left of them are salvages what they can to beat the bad guys. Suddenly I'm getting G.I. Joe Retaliation flashbacks.

Hit: Hi Harry!

Miss: "Character suffers amnesia" cliche.

Hit: Killer Robot Dogs

Hit: Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Elton John!

LOL: While on a mission, Eggsy ask his girlfriend approval before sleeping with another woman.

Real Talk: Well at his defense at least he was being consent.

Miss: This is the weirdest way to plant a tracking device on....anyone.

Hit: Welcome back, Harry!

Miss: Harry's off his game.

Hit: Bad ass Whiskey

Real Talk: Many reasons why I'll never ride an aerial ski lift, this movie shows ten of those reasons.

Miss: Whisky's death lasso gives me Ivan Vanko (Whiplash) flashbacks.

Miss: The US president is a dick, he wants druggies to die before signing an agreement to let Poppy cure them.

Hit: At least this movie wasn't trying to meat fist in Anti-Trump allegories.

Hit: Looking good, Merlin.

Miss: "Character stupidly steps on a land mine" cliche. And I fail to see how that happened considering the heroes brought a mine sweeper.

Miss: Bye, Merlin.

Hit: Elton John gets a bad ass moment.

Real Talk: Poppy's lackey's got a bad ass robot arm but Winter Soldier he is not. Also his arm is not as sleek and cool as Winter Soldier's.

Miss: "Ally has an evil hidden agenda" cliche

Hit: This movie's soundtrack for every fight scene.

LOL: Getting Ricky Oh flashbacks, again.

Hit: This time nobody gets a manwich.

Miss: Elton sure does swear a lot.

Hit: Eggsy gets married, good for him.

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