Hits & Misses: Bright

Real Talk: "Only a Bright can control the power of the wand." Movie makes this clear to the audience but for the characters in said movie on the other hand....

Miss: That caution sign's a lie because I didn't see any lizard people in this movie.

Miss: In this urban fantasy fairies are like pest for some reason.

Real Talk: Ward, you really shouldn't bring up how many days/years you have until retirement. It's kinda unlucky.

Miss: "Fairies lives don't matter...."

Miss: Ward's a asshole to Jakoby through most of the movie, only once does he even come to close to respecting him. Granted there's a reason why Ward's a asshole to Jakoby it's just there's no sense of mutual growth between the two as the movie progresses.

Miss: In this urban fantasy elves are the rich and privilege while orcs are ghetto trash. Lazy, non-subtle metaphors or heavy handed, real world allegories, take your pick.

Hit: Oh cool, a centaur!

Real Talk: This whole "humans hating on orcs because they joined the Dark Lord" thing is a bit superfluous with the plot. Considering the antagonists Ward and Jakoby will be facing and who the Dark Lord is, I'll explain why that is later.

Miss: Really....a "Kick Me" sign....is that even a thing these days?

Miss: A bunch of human cops beating up on two orcs. Lazy, non-subtle metaphors or heavy handed, real world allegories, take your pick.

Miss: Ward asking Jakoby: "I need to know if you're a cop first or an orc first?" Jakoby can be a cop and an orc, kinda like how you're a cop and a black guy. One doesn't cancel out the other. And even if he choose to be an orc first he'll more than likely help out an orc in need (as this movie reveals later).

Miss: Nine races..... So far there are humans, orcs, elves, centaurs and fairies, I'm afraid this movie's four races short.

Miss: Sheriff Rodriguez: "Hey don't look at me man, Mexicans still get shit for the fucking Alamo." So this is a world of fantasy races/creatures and magic in modern day yet real world events like the Alamo's still happened? That's like writing a story about every person in Japan has superpowers yet the nuclear bombing in Hiroshima still happens. It just defeats the purpose. Point being writing a fantasy story taking place in modern day doesn't work if histories of the world are roughly left the same regardless.  

Miss: Prophecy cliche.....

Miss: Magic Task Force...stupidest name in the history of ever.

Miss: So the only way if one's a Bright is by touching a wand and pray to all the gods in the universe that they won't explode. I don't know about you but that sounds like a bad trade off. Also you mean to tell me there's no other way to determine if one's a Bright or not that doesn't involve being blown to dust? Again bad trade off.

Miss: And just like that, after securing the wand the four cops from Ward's precinct are now corrupt and wants Jakoby dead.

Miss: Also "Corrupt Cops" cliche

Miss: Ward, if you're gonna shot your own guys how about having a facial expression that doesn't come off as uninterested.

Hit: Noomi Rapace as a hot, bad ass evil elf.

Hit: Oh cool, a dragon!

Real Talk: Also I'm curious to know how exactly the airline companies hasn't gone to shit with dragons flying around?

Hit: Ward: "You wanna call the Feds, I got bodies on my gun, remember?" Jakoby: "Yeah well don't look at me I just let an orc go." Ward: "Really Nick, really?" Jakoby: "That was irony." Ward: "Nah that's being an asshole." Nope Jakoby's right, it's irony. And to be fair Ward did mention about karma so he kinda had it coming.

Miss: Montehugh works with Kamdomere on the investigation of Leilah and the Inferni. So why's he asking Kamdomere questions that he should already know? Is it because that the writer sucks at plot expositions? 

Miss: I see human women strippers but no orc women strippers in a titty bar, how disappointing.

Real Talk: I sympathize with the Mexican gang leader but unless he's for certain that he's a Bright having a fatal illness will be the least of his problems.

LOL: Ward "We're gonna Titty Bar gunfight die."

Hit: Three evil bad ass elves killing the shit out of gangs and cops alike.

Hit: The closest thing to a scene of Ward and Jakoby having a mutual moment.

Miss: *Jakoby gets run over by the evil elves.* Orc or not, Jakoby should be dead or at the very least got fucked up.

Miss: Wait, this makes no sense the evil elves killed everyone within seconds back at the titty bar. Yet here they're having trouble of killing two guys. Can someone say plot armor?

Hit: Evil bad ass elves with guns and damn is Noomi hot with a gun.

Hit: *Evil elf guy calmly walks with his jacket on fire as he calmly takes it off.* That was pretty bad ass.

Hit: Gotta give credit to the make up department for the orc designs.

Miss: Orc clan leader asked his son to shoot Jakoby but refuses as it turns out the orc kid was the one Jakoby let go. But Jakoby still dies as the orc clan leader shoots him dead. Well....that went nowhere quickly. 

Real Talk: No worries, Tikka performs a resurrection spell on Jakoby.

Miss: Orc clan member: "This is a prophecy for he has risen." Again with this prophecy....thing, just what prophecy exactly? Can you give out any details of this prophecy? You can't just say "this is a _____" and expect the audience to just accept it without explanations. Seriously you keep using that word, I do not think it means of what you think it means.

Miss: Ward talking to Tikka: "You're a Bright, you're a fucking Bright? Would've been nice to know that when we were getting fucked up." Did you not see her blew that car up earlier? You did see her holding the wand when you told her to put it down, right? She clearly didn't explode the whole time she had it.

Miss: *Jakoby telling Ward about Jirak* And here's where this orc racism/discrimination from humans just falls on its ass. If this one orc brought nine armies together to defeat the Dark Lord then why are orcs are still getting shit on? Especially since A) the Dark Lord was an elf and B) there's a group of renegade elves trying to resurrect the Dark Lord. Why aren't the elves being look down upon the same way as the orcs? This racial discrimination would've work if it was extended to both the orcs and the elves to even things out. Rather than having orcs being ghetto trash and elves being privilege stuck ups that done no wrong.

Hit: Nice shotgun.

Hit: Leilah has a really sexy scream.

Hit: Damn that sexy Leilah face though.

Miss: *Ward grabs the wand and it turns out that he's a Bright.* What do I call this, plot convenience, deus ex machina, plot armor, hacks? I mean it's not like the movie gave any hints that Ward's a Bright. And again the only way if one's a Bright is by touching a wand and pray that you won't explode. So I guess Ward was just lucky that he's the one out of a million to be a Bright.