Hits & Misses Halloween: Boo

Real Talk: This movie's good and all but they couldn't come up with a better name than Boo?

Hit: The one time that a fake scare makes sense because the movie takes place on Halloween instead of building up false tension.

Miss: Obviously fake ass moon.

Hit: Normally I question why anyone would go into an abandoned and obviously haunted place but again this movie takes place on Halloween. Anyone will do anything for a good scare.

Miss: How is there any power to this abandoned hospital? Who's paying the electricity, Father Horny-Eyes from Demon Slayer?

Real Talk: Discount Dolemite?

Real Talk: Discount Blacula?

Hit: I've seen movies that had some character who's a has-been actor before. But a has-been actor turned cop, that's a new one.

Miss: Well Arlo's a lousy cop, quickly lying that he's not in the vicinity of the disturbance so he can go home.

Hit: A subtle scare without the annoying music sting and it's not in your face, nice.

Real Talk: Just getting this out there that using an elevator in a horror movie usually never turn out so well.

Real Talk: Dolls and Teddy Bears in horror movies are usually not a good sign. Case in point a ghost girl shows up and Emmett is snatched away.

Hit: Another subtle scare.

Hit: This movie waste no time of getting to the ghosts.

Miss: Allan only brought three extra bullets before going to the hospital to find his sister, Meg. You know even if your sister's in trouble I doubt three extra bullets will make any difference.

Miss: So the reason why these four character came to this hospital was because it's better than going to a fake haunted house. OK...stupid but OK.

Miss: Jessie as she and her friends go into the hospital: "Great, we are gonna be those stupid kids." Hey you said it not me.

Hit: Some of these characters are dicks but they're not quite on the level of being one dimensional asshole stereotypes.

Miss: *Allan finds Emmett's dog dead.* No animal is never safe in a horror movie.

Miss: Kevin and Marie making out on a hospital gurrey. Because having sex at a abandoned hospital is kinky?

Real Talk: Kevin: "Yippie Ki Yay..." Dude, say the line right. It's Yippie Ki Yay, motherfucker, there needs to be a motherfucker after the Yippie Ki Yay.

Real Talk: Oh yes Allan, stick your hand in a hole in the wall. What could possibly happen?

Miss: Movie has a sex scene but don't to see tits, ass or the sex. Boooooo!

Hit: Jessie and Freddy have the common sense to bring a weapon to investigate a loud banging noise. Granted it wouldn't do much against ghosts but still.

Hit: *Haunted clown costume has a normal clown mask in one scene. Has a evil clown mask a couple scenes later.* Subtle.

Miss: *Freddy gets stabbed deep in the back after being push back on a sharp metal rod and he says it's just a scratch.* Either he's the black knight from Python's The Holy Grail or just plain stupid.

Hit: Nice melty flesh effect of Emmett.

Miss: But that weird glow effect was a bit unnecessary.

Real Talk: *"Emmett" explodes after being shot by Meg.* Jesus, what did Allen loaded that gun with, BFG rounds?

Miss: *Kevin smashes his phone after being put on hold, trying to call the police.* Nice going, jackass.

Hit: So this movie pulls a John Carpenter's The Thing with the ghosts taking over any of these characters. Adding the paranoia factor among the characters

Miss: *Kevin shoots the supernaturally locked door only to get hit by a ricochet.* Nice going again, jackass.

Miss: Kevin immediately assumes that Marie was taken over and just shoots her without giving her the chance to prove she's herself. Hell earlier, Meg had to cut Allen's hand to see if he's bleeding i.e. if he's still himself. Yet Meg doesn't do the same for Marie, just kept standing around until Marie got shot.

Miss: Why would they bring Marie's body before trying to get out of the hospital? They do know the term dead weight, right?

Hit: *Marie's blood pours upwards to the elevator ceiling.* Not gonna lie, that's an impressive effect.

Miss: So Jessie, Freddy and Kevin don't see the blood pouring out of Marie up to the elevator ceiling. Hell they don't even hear the dripping sounds of the blood. It's not like they're miles away from the body they're all standing right next to it.

Miss: *Jessie, Freddy and Kevin left the body in the elevator.* Oh wow, so much for bringing Marie along, huh? It's almost like there was no reason to bring her along and was just a waste of time.

Miss: Meg talking to Allan: "They play on your paranoia, making you think that you or your friends aren't who they should be. If you die, they take over you completely." That would've been an important piece of info to share with Jessie and the others earlier. At least then Marie wouldn't have to die by dipshit stupidity. 

Miss: Jessie: "Once they find out what you did to Marie they're gonna send you to jail anyways. My ex-boyfriend's going to jail." Kevin: "What? It was self-defense, Jessie!" Well she clearly wasn't doing anything threatening and was still scare and confused of what's going on. But sure Kevin just randomly shoot her and claim it was self-defense.

Hit: Even Jessie calls bullshit on what Kevin just said.

Miss: *One of Meg's dead friends explodes after Arlo shoots them.* As scary as these ghost possesed corpses are they're not much of a threat if they explode after getting shot.

Miss: Oh yes Kevin, just stick your hand in a hole in the wall. What could possibly happen, besides disappearing off screen that is?

Hit: Oh cool, it's Dee Wallace!

Miss: *Jessie flashback vision of Jacob trying to escape the hospital.* So Jacob's master plan of escaping the hospital was to set the place on fire and force Nurse Russell to hand over the keys. But didn't count on Nurse Russell to throw the keys out the window leaving Jacob and everyone else to be burned alive. What a well-laid plan you had, Jacob.

Hit: Gotta give this movie credit for the gore effects of the dead little girl.

Hit: Gotta give this movie credit for the gore effects of Freddy's hand after he slams it on a wall.

Hit/LOL: Kevin: "The last person I saw that looked like you I shot her in the face." Arlo: "You shoot me in the face and I'll kick your ass."

LOL: Kevin: "Will someone please make that fucking scratching noise stop?!" *The scratching noise stops.* Kevin: "Thank you!"

Miss: Jacob pulls a Freddy Krueger without being Freddy Krueger.

Real Talk: *Meg with a wooden stick knocks Jacob possesed Kevin, setting him sliding at a surprisingly far distance.* That was a hell of a swing there, Meg. You wouldn't be a mutant are you?

Sad Moment: So it's revealed that Meg was already dead the whole time and has been possessed by Nurse Russell. Just...damn....

Miss: *Nurse Russell starts a fire that burns Jacob to the point of exploding.* So fire hurts Jacob...a freaking ghost until he explodes how?

Miss: He even has the burn scars after that. So again, how?