Hits & Misses: Code Red The Rubicon Conspiracy

Real Talk: This TV movie was made by Paramount Pictures and the best they went with is Discount Predator. I guess 2001 was a slow year for Paramount.

Miss: Gees even the opening credit music is ripping off Predator with a pinch of Alien.

Miss: *A group of soldiers/marines shooting in all directions as the higher ranks watch on TV monitors doing absolutely nothing.* Movie shamelessly rips off Aliens, they even have that heart monitor screen from Aliens.

Hit: At least the main character Peter Doyle has a backstory that doesn't render him as Discount Dutch.

Real Talk: In Lt. Borack's defense if a Death Adder crawl up my pants I'd piss myself too and definitely shit myself while I'm at it.

Miss: *A team of Special Forces have to travel through rebel territory.* Now why does that sound familiar?

Miss: *Surviving Special Forces member running away as shown in some alien POV shot.* Now why does that look familiar?

Hit: Although to be fair at least the movie doesn't rip off the Predator's Infrared Vision.

Real Talk: Two of Doyle's men are brothers; one of which is married. It would be a real shame if both of these brothers die in this movie.

Miss: Tyler is just Discount Billy.

Hit: Well at least they'll arriving to their mission on a boat rather than lazily ripping off the helicopter scene from Predator.

Miss: *The team finds the dead remains of the previous Special Forces and thinks that the rebels did it.* Seems so familiar to me for some reason.

Miss: Movie they're just searching an empty village, tone down the exciting music.

Miss: Again with the music ripping off Predator. Said what you want how RoboWar is a Predator ripoff but at least the movie has it own soundtrack.

Miss: *The team finds a villager hiding under the floor.* Barry: "This guy doesn't have any legs left, Lieutenant. There's a lot of blood down there." Oh yes because why bother showing when you can just describe the situation of this poor man. I guess they wanted to keep the movie PG or they didn't have the budget for gore effects.

Miss: *Movie fades to black into the next scene.* Oh that's right this is a TV movie they suppose to fade to black. Even though I'm watching this movie online which would make fading to black on a scene rather pointless.

Miss: We get a glimpse of this film's "Predator"; black leather pants, plastic looking body armor, knock off Predator mask and Discount Darth Vader breathing. You can just smell the low budget in the costume department.

Miss: And of course there be a "shooting wildly into the jungle" scene, wouldn't be a Predator ripoff if there wasn't one.

Miss: And why the hell are they shooting in slow motion?

Real Talk: *Turns out they shot up a pig.* I'm surprised none of them didn't say one of these lines. "Jesus...you killed a pig." "Hey you think you could've found something bigger?"

Miss: Borack: "We're gonna bigger guns...." Oh great...a Godzilla 1998 reference.

Miss: "Liaison knows more than what they're letting on" cliche.

Hit: Usually in movies like this there's always some government cover-up. But here it's a rogue military general who's been hiding this secret facility from the government. So that's a step up.

Miss: Earlier Borack was saved by Discount Predator only to die anyway later near the end of the movie. This guy might as well been wearing a red shirt through the whole movie.

Real Talk: And I don't know what Doyle's complaining about, Borack wasn't sticking close to him.

Real Talk: So the other creatures were just bugs meant to probe for life sustaining atmosphere while Discount Predator was sent to terminate them due to them being hostile. I'm sure there's a Discount Alien vs Predator Requiem somewhere but that movie came out in 2007. So precursor Alien vs Predator Requiem?     

Hits & Misses: Thor Ragnarok

Hit: This film's soundtrack.

Miss/LOL: So much camp!

Hit: Thor vs Surtur

Meh: Skurge (Executioner)

Hit: Loki enjoying his reign on Asgard.

Hit: Sam Neill!

Hit: Doctor Strange Cameo!

Hit/LOL: Loki: "I've been falling for thirty minutes!"

Hit: Hela Arrives!

Hit: That Hela ass though!

Hit: Bad ass introduction of Valkyrie.

Miss: The Warriors Three....dead.....

Miss: Sif....nowhere to be found in the movie.

Hit: Jeff Glodblum......don't care what everyone says.

Hit: Thor vs Hulk Round 2!

Miss: Naked Hulk ass.....

Hit: Bad ass Hela.

Miss: Asgard had a fake Infinity Gauntlet.

Hit/LOL: Loki gets PTSD when he sees Hulk.

LOL: "Point Break"

Miss: "The Devil's Anus" WHY?!

Hit: Hulk vs Giant Wolf!

Hit/LOL: Loki's Glory Moment.

Hit: Skurge's Redemption.

Hit: Thanos!

Hits & Misses: Oculus

Hit: When I saw the WWE logo in the trailer I thought it was gonna be goofy ass shenanigans with WWE wrestlers. But upon watching the movie I was thankfully wrong.

Hit: This movie's soundtrack.

Miss: Ahhh...it's the guy who plays "Fuck Batman" Robin from Titans!

Real Talk: I wonder if Karen Gillan was wearing a wig for this movie? If she was this could've been the second movie of having a sexy bald Karen Gillan.

Hit: Also Karen Gillan!

Hit: Even when doing an American accent she's still so hot.

Miss: So this evil mirror was being auction off in front of dozens of people yet nothing happens. What the hell?

LOL: Tim doesn't know how to open doors when there's a buzzer.

Hit: God that gorgeous Karen Gillan smile though!

Hit: Hi Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff)!

Hit: Also Starbuck with red hair.

Miss: *Starbuck standing in front of a mirror with her robe barely open.* Scene doesn't contain any Starbuck Boobs. I mean this is a horror movie right, nudity is practically the norm in the genre.

Hit: But if there's any hindsight the scene does contain a sexy half naked Starbuck.

Hit: The movie cuts between the events of the past and present day that does link up nicely with the story as it progresses.

Miss: *Kaylie sleeping with her fiance.* I am not Kaylie's fiance in this scene.

Hit: Karen Gillan in her nightie.

Miss: *Kaylie kissing her fiance.* I am not Kaylie's fiance in this scene. 

Hit: *Kaylie talking to the evil mirror.* Kaylie: "Hello again. You must be hungry." Something about this scene with those lines just makes Kaylie subtly creepy and feels a bit ominous. 

Hit: This movie has jump scares that are not only earned but they're subtle and unpredictable as all jump scares in horror should be.

Miss: Tim: "You named your dog, dog?" Kaylie: "He doesn't have a name." Well that's just mean, not naming a dog.

Hit: Points to this movie of having a character who has working knowledge about the evil mirror and its past victims and has come prepare. Rather than of having the usual dipshit cardboard cutouts in nearly every horror movie these days.

Miss: *Tim gets bitch slapped by Kaylie.* I'm not Tim in this scene, oh yes I would gladly get slapped by Karen Gillan if given the chance.

Hit: Also Karen Gillan Bitch Slap

Hit: Karen Gillan Ass Shot

Hit: I love it how natural the disagreements are between Kaylie and Tim. Kaylie believes that supernatural forces led to their parents being killed while Tim believes that their father was cheating on the mother, drove her crazy and then killed her. Kinda like Mulder and Scully but with better writing.

Miss: Why would the dad use a staple remover just to take off a band-aid? I know the mirror's messing with him but still.

Hit: Starbuck in her nightie.

Hit: Kaylie: "They did a bang up job on you in there didn't they? You were perfectly normal when they locked you up, you had to go bat shit to get out." This line.

Miss: Tim made Karen Gillan cry.

Miss: Oh great the movie made Starbuck cry.

Hit/Miss: Crazed Murdering Starbuck

Miss: *Kaylie and Tim as kids* With all the weird shit going on with their parents and everything you think Kaylie and Tim would just got the hell out of the house. I can assume that the mirror is keeping them from running away but I still stand with my argument.

Hit: *The mirror tricks Kaylie that she bite on a light bulb and starts bleeding but it was really an apple.* Despite this particular scene was spoiled in the trailer it's still awesome.

Miss: Although it would still be nice if the trailer didn't spoiled this scene at all.

Miss: Movie tries to make Starbuck look ugly.

Miss: *Young Kaylie goes to another house for help.* So the kids can leave their house but instead of getting far away as possible she just comes back with someone who was no help at all.

Miss: Damn it movie, stop making Karen Gillan cry!

Hit: Karen Gillan's ass....again.

Miss: Starbuck is dead and that sucks. Yeah I know the movie reveals this earlier but still.

Hit: Their dad snaps out of it long enough to have Tim to shoot him, damn.

Miss: Kaylie (Karen Gillan) is dead and that's bullshit!

Miss: So the cops just arrest Young Tim for what could have been self-defense in court. And why aren't they arresting Young Kaylie, what makes them think she wasn't involved as well?

Hit: It ends as it began.

Hit/Miss: Ghost Karen Gillan

Hits & Misses: Bright

Real Talk: "Only a Bright can control the power of the wand." Movie makes this clear to the audience but for the characters in said movie on the other hand....

Miss: That caution sign's a lie because I didn't see any lizard people in this movie.

Miss: In this urban fantasy fairies are like pest for some reason.

Real Talk: Ward, you really shouldn't bring up how many days/years you have until retirement. It's kinda unlucky.

Miss: "Fairies lives don't matter...."

Miss: Ward's a asshole to Jakoby through most of the movie, only once does he even come to close to respecting him. Granted there's a reason why Ward's a asshole to Jakoby it's just there's no sense of mutual growth between the two as the movie progresses.

Miss: In this urban fantasy elves are the rich and privilege while orcs are ghetto trash. Lazy, non-subtle metaphors or heavy handed, real world allegories, take your pick.

Hit: Oh cool, a centaur!

Real Talk: This whole "humans hating on orcs because they joined the Dark Lord" thing is a bit superfluous with the plot. Considering the antagonists Ward and Jakoby will be facing and who the Dark Lord is, I'll explain why that is later.

Miss: Really....a "Kick Me" sign....is that even a thing these days?

Miss: A bunch of human cops beating up on two orcs. Lazy, non-subtle metaphors or heavy handed, real world allegories, take your pick.

Miss: Ward asking Jakoby: "I need to know if you're a cop first or an orc first?" Jakoby can be a cop and an orc, kinda like how you're a cop and a black guy. One doesn't cancel out the other. And even if he choose to be an orc first he'll more than likely help out an orc in need (as this movie reveals later).

Miss: Nine races..... So far there are humans, orcs, elves, centaurs and fairies, I'm afraid this movie's four races short.

Miss: Sheriff Rodriguez: "Hey don't look at me man, Mexicans still get shit for the fucking Alamo." So this is a world of fantasy races/creatures and magic in modern day yet real world events like the Alamo's still happened? That's like writing a story about every person in Japan has superpowers yet the nuclear bombing in Hiroshima still happens. It just defeats the purpose. Point being writing a fantasy story taking place in modern day doesn't work if histories of the world are roughly left the same regardless.  

Miss: Prophecy cliche.....

Miss: Magic Task Force...stupidest name in the history of ever.

Miss: So the only way if one's a Bright is by touching a wand and pray to all the gods in the universe that they won't explode. I don't know about you but that sounds like a bad trade off. Also you mean to tell me there's no other way to determine if one's a Bright or not that doesn't involve being blown to dust? Again bad trade off.

Miss: And just like that, after securing the wand the four cops from Ward's precinct are now corrupt and wants Jakoby dead.

Miss: Also "Corrupt Cops" cliche

Miss: Ward, if you're gonna shot your own guys how about having a facial expression that doesn't come off as uninterested.

Hit: Noomi Rapace as a hot, bad ass evil elf.

Hit: Oh cool, a dragon!

Real Talk: Also I'm curious to know how exactly the airline companies hasn't gone to shit with dragons flying around?

Hit: Ward: "You wanna call the Feds, I got bodies on my gun, remember?" Jakoby: "Yeah well don't look at me I just let an orc go." Ward: "Really Nick, really?" Jakoby: "That was irony." Ward: "Nah that's being an asshole." Nope Jakoby's right, it's irony. And to be fair Ward did mention about karma so he kinda had it coming.

Miss: Montehugh works with Kamdomere on the investigation of Leilah and the Inferni. So why's he asking Kamdomere questions that he should already know? Is it because that the writer sucks at plot expositions? 

Miss: I see human women strippers but no orc women strippers in a titty bar, how disappointing.

Real Talk: I sympathize with the Mexican gang leader but unless he's for certain that he's a Bright having a fatal illness will be the least of his problems.

LOL: Ward "We're gonna Titty Bar gunfight die."

Hit: Three evil bad ass elves killing the shit out of gangs and cops alike.

Hit: The closest thing to a scene of Ward and Jakoby having a mutual moment.

Miss: *Jakoby gets run over by the evil elves.* Orc or not, Jakoby should be dead or at the very least got fucked up.

Miss: Wait, this makes no sense the evil elves killed everyone within seconds back at the titty bar. Yet here they're having trouble of killing two guys. Can someone say plot armor?

Hit: Evil bad ass elves with guns and damn is Noomi hot with a gun.

Hit: *Evil elf guy calmly walks with his jacket on fire as he calmly takes it off.* That was pretty bad ass.

Hit: Gotta give credit to the make up department for the orc designs.

Miss: Orc clan leader asked his son to shoot Jakoby but refuses as it turns out the orc kid was the one Jakoby let go. But Jakoby still dies as the orc clan leader shoots him dead. Well....that went nowhere quickly. 

Real Talk: No worries, Tikka performs a resurrection spell on Jakoby.

Miss: Orc clan member: "This is a prophecy for he has risen." Again with this prophecy....thing, just what prophecy exactly? Can you give out any details of this prophecy? You can't just say "this is a _____" and expect the audience to just accept it without explanations. Seriously you keep using that word, I do not think it means of what you think it means.

Miss: Ward talking to Tikka: "You're a Bright, you're a fucking Bright? Would've been nice to know that when we were getting fucked up." Did you not see her blew that car up earlier? You did see her holding the wand when you told her to put it down, right? She clearly didn't explode the whole time she had it.

Miss: *Jakoby telling Ward about Jirak* And here's where this orc racism/discrimination from humans just falls on its ass. If this one orc brought nine armies together to defeat the Dark Lord then why are orcs are still getting shit on? Especially since A) the Dark Lord was an elf and B) there's a group of renegade elves trying to resurrect the Dark Lord. Why aren't the elves being look down upon the same way as the orcs? This racial discrimination would've work if it was extended to both the orcs and the elves to even things out. Rather than having orcs being ghetto trash and elves being privilege stuck ups that done no wrong.

Hit: Nice shotgun.

Hit: Leilah has a really sexy scream.

Hit: Damn that sexy Leilah face though.

Miss: *Ward grabs the wand and it turns out that he's a Bright.* What do I call this, plot convenience, deus ex machina, plot armor, hacks? I mean it's not like the movie gave any hints that Ward's a Bright. And again the only way if one's a Bright is by touching a wand and pray that you won't explode. So I guess Ward was just lucky that he's the one out of a million to be a Bright.  

Hits & Misses: Kingsman The Golden Circle

Hit: Movie starts off with an exciting action scene.

Real Talk: Bad guy loses robot arm. They don't make robot arms like they use to.

Hit: Eggsy's dating the Sweden Princess from the first movie, good for him.

WTF: That was a weird scene transition, going from a bag of weed to a dense jungle.

Real Talk: Talk about being thrown into the meat grinder.

LOL: Also I'm getting Ricky Oh flashbacks.

Ewww: Poppy makes a burger out of the guy who was thrown into the meat grinder.

Ewww: Poppy makes the another guy eat the literal manwich.

Miss: Worst "make over" ever. Never heard of anesthetics, Poppy?

Miss: What a minute, a bunch of good guys getting killed off and what's left of them are salvages what they can to beat the bad guys. Suddenly I'm getting G.I. Joe Retaliation flashbacks.

Hit: Hi Harry!

Miss: "Character suffers amnesia" cliche.

Hit: Killer Robot Dogs

Hit: Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Elton John!

LOL: While on a mission, Eggsy ask his girlfriend approval before sleeping with another woman.

Real Talk: Well at his defense at least he was being consent.

Miss: This is the weirdest way to plant a tracking device on....anyone.

Hit: Welcome back, Harry!

Miss: Harry's off his game.

Hit: Bad ass Whiskey

Real Talk: Many reasons why I'll never ride an aerial ski lift, this movie shows ten of those reasons.

Miss: Whisky's death lasso gives me Ivan Vanko (Whiplash) flashbacks.

Miss: The US president is a dick, he wants druggies to die before signing an agreement to let Poppy cure them.

Hit: At least this movie wasn't trying to meat fist in Anti-Trump allegories.

Hit: Looking good, Merlin.

Miss: "Character stupidly steps on a land mine" cliche. And I fail to see how that happened considering the heroes brought a mine sweeper.

Miss: Bye, Merlin.

Hit: Elton John gets a bad ass moment.

Real Talk: Poppy's lackey's got a bad ass robot arm but Winter Soldier he is not. Also his arm is not as sleek and cool as Winter Soldier's.

Miss: "Ally has an evil hidden agenda" cliche

Hit: This movie's soundtrack for every fight scene.

LOL: Getting Ricky Oh flashbacks, again.

Hit: This time nobody gets a manwich.

Miss: Elton sure does swear a lot.

Hit: Eggsy gets married, good for him.

Hits & Misses: The King of Fighters

DISCLAIMER: When I first reviewed this movie it really wasn't a review at all. So here's my legit review of King of Fighters.

Real Talk: This movie is a little too cheap to be called King of Fighters, King of Lazy Film-Making is a bit more accurate.

Miss: Discount Matrix/Sword Art Online...that's essentially what this movie is. No actually tournament with actually fighters, just normal people in some glorified Matrix/SAO Simulator.

Miss: No offense to Maggie Q but they really couldn't find any other Asian actress with big enough breasts to play Mai Shiranui? Also what's with the hooker outfit she's wearing in this fight?

Hit: But in hindsight at least they didn't whitewash Mai. This will have a point later.

Miss: What's with the weird electrical powers from Mai, I'm pretty sure she doesn't do that in any of the games. Good job shitting on the source material movie.

Miss: *This movie's opening credits.* Am I watching King of Fighters or an Avatar The Last Airbender knock off?

Miss: Here's Iori Yagami whom doesn't seem to have red hair in this movie. Accuracy, what's that?

Miss: *Turns out that two of these three mystical relics can open a door to another dimension, leading to the creation of the King of Fighters tournament.* OK...but why though? What practical applications does a dimensional tournament has in this movie's real world? Will this be beneficial to the homeless, to the sick, will children receive better education? Did they even explore this dimension before it was deem safe to start a tournament? Are there even any inhabitants in this dimension. Also is this dimensional fighting tournament available for everyone or just fighters only? 

Miss: Also, also is it me or am I getting Super Mario Bros. movie flashbacks.

Miss: They dragged Ray Park into this movie.

Hit: Also Ray Park.

Miss: This mirror relic is a door to the dimension that Rugal needs yet he carelessly uses it to beat up Iori with it.

Miss: If the Kusanagi Sword (one of the three relics) was a fake then why couldn't Chizuru Kagura have all three relics be fakes? Would've stopped Rugal from getting into the dimension. But then again this would've been a short movie.

Miss: Chizuru: "Rugal's going back in, people will die if we don't find the real sword." Mai: "It's just a game." Chizuru: "Not if someone submits to the Orochi, it'll turn into a death match." Then why the hell would you have a fighting tournament in a dimension where a demon is trapped and that it can become unsafe for everyone if someone submits to said demon?

Real Talk: Chizuru: "Without the true Kusanagi Sword Rugal can't free Orochi." Then just don't go get the real sword or just hide it. Either way Rugal's long gone and has no means to free Orochi, just shut off from the dimension and bam movie over.

Miss: Kyo Kusanagi, Japanese high school fighter from the KoF games, played by a random white guy in this movie. Also if I was Mai I be like "yeah right, where's Saisyu's real son?" What, you say that's racist? Well that's what happens when studios pointlessly racebend established characters for no narrative reasons.

Miss: So Chizuru did try to shut down the tournament but Rugal just magically takes it over anyway. The fuck is this guy Discount Akihiko Kayaba?

Miss: I get it movie, Mature and Vice are lesbians if you were any less subtle this might as well turn into a porn scene.

Miss: Despite the warnings from Chizuru to NOT accept new challenges, Mature and Vice go into the tournament anyway. I guess common sense is a foreign concept in this movie.

Miss: *Rugal intimidating Mature and Vice in a street hockey outfit.* I don't know what this is but it's neither intimidating nor funny. Also this is a waste of Ray Park's time with this character.

Hit: At least the Rugal vs Mature and Vice fight scene is OK.

Miss: Vice is forced to tell other fighters that "it's safe" to go now and none of them don't ask Chizuru to be sure. Again common sense is a foreign concept.

Miss: Terry Bogard, the bad ass Legendary Hungry Wolf fighter from the Fatal Fury/KoF games, some random CIA guy in this movie. If you think that's bad what until you see his in-tournament outfit.

Miss: Chizuru talking to Terry: "Rugal is consumed by the Orochi." Hold on, earlier Chizuru said that with the Kusanagi Sword can Rugal free Orochi. Rugal doesn't even have the sword so how exactly is he "consumed by the Orochi"? What's that....what's that sound I'm hearing....is that the writers throwing away the script?

Miss: Mai: "What about Kyo?" Iori: "Kyo's a half-breed." Uh in what way, Iori? That he's half white and half shitty casting choice?

Real Talk: So Kyo's father was in the tournament many times. This begs the question of how long has it been around? Because if it was around for decades (maybe longer) then how can fighters enter the dimension when those bluetooth earpieces were probably weren't invented at the early times of the tournament.

Miss: Mai talking to Kyo: "Someone's trying to harness the Orochi power and if Rugal succeeds we may never have a chance to stop him." But it's established that he needs the sword in order to do so, which he doesn't have. And so far he hasn't come out of the dimension to get the sword. Did no one in editing notice this plot hole, did no one call for re-shoots, was the director too lazy off his ass to give a shit? Why is this movie established a plot point if it's gonna forget about it later on?

Real Talk: Kyo's gonna make Rugal pay. Dude you got owned by Mai not too long ago, you have a better chance of fighting a tree sloth.

Miss: Iori enters the dimensional tournament still doesn't look Iori from the games. But then again how does he fight with leather strap attached to his legs?

Hit: Iori vs Mature and Vice.

Miss: *Mai and Terry at an abandon fish cannery as a field office.* You wanna know if a movie is on a shitty budget, if there's a scene that literally points it out. And no that doesn't excuse the movie at all.

Miss: I know I suppose to care for Kyo but this character's portrayal in this movie and the actor's performance are just so pitiful.

Hit: Rugal talking/fighting Kyo: "That's not fighting. Technically that's you taking a beating." Well he's not wrong, I mean Kyo did got his ass handed to him by Mai.

Real Talk: Why do I the feeling that this entire movie is just one big padding?

Miss: Chizuru: "Rugal is close to merging our worlds." Guess I'll add Discount Mortal Kombat Annihilation to this shamelessly made film.

Real Talk: Chizuru if you saw Mai kicking Kyo's ass earlier you wouldn't even bothered giving him encouraging speeches.

Miss: Terry's outfit in-tournament makes him look like a redneck Marty McFly. Hell his hat's not even metal plated.

Miss: I sure Rugal is threatening and dangerous in the games but in this movie he's like a Discount Freddy Kruger.

Hit: Terry and Mai vs Mature and Vice.

Miss: Movie please be clear of your story, is the Orochi a demon or an evil power?

Miss: Yes movie, further ruin Terry by making him a complete pussy.

Miss: *Rugal breaks the Kusanagi Sword.* But I thought it's the only thing to free Orochi? Oh that's right the writers threw out the script.

Miss: Magical Sword Ex Machina. 

Real Talk: (With the expectation of Mortal Kombat, Dead or Alive and maybe Tekken.) It really shouldn't be too hard to make a live adaptation of a tournament fighting game. But these filmmakers just somehow find a way to fail something so easy to do.

Hit & Misses: Suicide Squad

I'm gonna get the misses out of the way first.

Miss: This movie tried way too hard to make Deadshot funny. I get it movie Deadshot is played by Will Smith, that's no excuse to kiddified the character. Also Arrow had an actor who played Deadshot a lot better.

Miss: Also also Deadshot is just Will Smith playing Will Smith playing Deadshot in this movie.

Miss: The fight between Batman and Deadshot gave me Jersey Girl flashbacks.

Miss: Rick Flagg is kinda a pitiful character if he's easily manipulated by the V.

Miss: So the world almost got destroyed because Waller was dumb enough to have Enchantress on her Task Force X.

Miss: With all these scenes featuring Batman it's almost like this movie was original met to be a Batman movie.

Miss: The final fight scene is great and all but why couldn't the Enchantress just magically blast the Suicide Squad away? Was fighting them hand-to-hand really the smartest way to do it? No, the answer is no.

Miss: So Slipknot and Katana don't get those fancy backstory/visual narrations? Just say a few lines of dialogue and accept it. And you wanna know something else, these characters could've been written out of the film and nothing wouldn't be miss.

Miss: Slipknot was quickly brought in the movie only to be quickly killed off later. What a waste.

Miss: Batman and Joker don't fight each other in this movie.

Miss: Instead of making Killer Croc as big as house they made him some normal size dude with a face of a Goomba from the Super Mario Bros movie.

Miss: To be honest they could've dropped Joker out of the movie. I mean he really had no effect with the story. Granted he provided a good backstory for Harley but after that he's just taking up too much screen time.

Miss: *Waller orders Deadshot to shoot Harley* He's gonna miss on purpose, He's gonna miss on purpose, He's gonna miss on purpose, He's gonna miss on purpose..... And Deadshot missed on purpose.....PREDICTABLE!

And now for the Hits.

Hit: Harley Quinn

Hit: BEST CALLBACK TO ALEX ROSS' WORK!

Hit: Batman vs Deadshot

Hit: El Diablo

Hit: Harley Quinn pulls an awesome "FOOLED YOU" moment.

Hit: Deadshot's got some amazing grouping skills, Revolver Ocelot would be proud.

Hit: Katana

Hit: Amanda Waller

Hits & Misses: Spider-Man Homecoming

Hit: The Spider-Man theme music makes its appearance!

Hit: Vulture's origin story during the aftermath of the first Avengers movie.

Hit: Damage Control!

Miss: Although this begs the question of where were Damage Control this whole time? Also how do we know they aren't Hydra? Me sense a retcon.

Hit: Civil War Recap from Peter Parker's perspective.

Hit: Sorry everyone but Tom Holland is the better Peter Parker/Spider-Man. All thanks to how the character was handled/written.

Real Talk: OK pay no attention to the race change, it doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother me......

Miss: ....And it's bothering me, it's bothering me a lot! Why the hell is Flash Thompson a scrawny brown kid?!

Hit: Hi Shocker!

Miss: Bye Shocker....

Hit: Hi new Shocker!

Hit: Also see how they bring in multiple villains without being a clusterfuck to the story (i.e. Spider-Man 3).

Hit: Tony's new armor has the same color scheme from Ultimate Iron Man.

Real Talk: What's Tony doing in India?

Miss: I understand that Aunt May is pretty hot but dear god does everyone have a boner for her?!

Hit: Also Aunt May is hot.

Miss: "Penis Parker" What kinda insult is that? WEAK!

Miss: This Michelle character really disturbs me.

Hit: Vulture's motives are rather admirable for his character.

Hit: All the Spider-Man vs Vulture fight scenes.

Miss: Spidey makes an oopsie.

Hit: Mac Gargan

Miss: Ned has an ugly phone contact photo.

Real Talk: It would've been awesome if Spidey and Falcon team up against Vulture.

Real Talk: So with the new Avengers facility what's gonna happen to Avengers Tower?

Hit: Hi Pepper!