Monday, January 7, 2013

The Film Vindicator Review: The Vampire Effect



Hey everyone happy new year and welcome back so on to The Vampire Effect or The Twins Effect....alternate titles are weird.

We start off at a church where a group of people who are apparently buying it to live in. Not sure if you can actually live in a church but whatever. Turns out these people are vampires wait more than that royal vampires and these guys do a better job of hiding among humans than the vampires from Twilight. We cut to a train station where we're introduced to Reeve (played by Ekin Cheng) and Lila (played by Josie Ho). They work for the Anti-Vampire Federation bent eliminating vampires with the help of a vampire blood extract that temporary grants the strength and speed of vampires. The downside without an antidote to take after an hour and a half you're permanently a vampire. Reeve enters a train and immediately spots; gives chase to the next car where he gets ambushed. Reeve holds them off until Lila arrives to back him up; one vampire watches the fight from afar and then flies in attacking Reeve. This vampire appears to be the leader as he calls off the other vampires and fights Reeve and Lila alone. I don't if I should call him the stupidest vampire ever or give this guy some balls. The fight continues until the leader vampire knocks them on their ass and for some reason just runaway. And here's where I get confused here; in the next scene Lila SOMEHOW dies and the scene before that the leader vampire gets his arm cut off. The film doesn't show when or how but it implies that his arm is cut off. Honestly I didn't skipped anything the film basically cut out a few scenes of events that led to this point; this is gonna be hard to review if the film has scenes that are cut out. Anyway we cut to a fancy restaurant where the two royal vampires from the start of the film Prince Kazaf (played by Edison Chen) and his servant Prada (played by Anthony Wong) enjoying a nice bottle of blood. You heard me right a bottle of blood. Minutes later we're introduced to Reeve's sister Helen (played by Charlene Choi) who confronts her cheating boyfriend as Kazaf watches from a nearby table. Helen chases off her cheating boyfriend and sits next Kazaf reminiscing her boyfriend problem. Kazaf takes interests in Helen and asked for her phone number and she gives him her number. Prada disapproves of Kazaf falling in love with a human but Kazaf is determined for the two to be together. And this where Twilight fails with its romance between Bella and Edward; in a span of a few minutes Helen and Kazaf hit it off like normal people. They act like they got genuine chemistry; they got decent character interaction while as in Twilight Bella and Edward act like they're constantly constipated every time on screen. Anyway we cut to Reeve at an airport to pick up his new partner Gypsy (played by Gillian Chung), upon returning home Reeve introduces Gypsy to Helen still upset over her breakup which long story short breaks out into a martial arts fight. Back at the church Kazaf gets a call from Helen and the two share a conversation. Helen invites him on a date at noon and Kazaf agrees but one problem since this film is not following the "sparkle under sunlight" rule Kazaf has to improvise on seeing Helen without burning into flames. Prada concocts a special suncream which allows vampires move around in sunlight. Later Reeve and Gypsy track down a vampire at a night club but the vampire escapes before they can kill him. After that they're informed by the federation that a vampire king and the four princes are murdered by the vampire duke Dekotes (played by Mickey Hardt); the leader vamp from the start of the film. He's been extracting their blood essence and to use them to open a sacred book called The Day for Night which conveniently Kazaf has possession of since he's the last of the princes. Inside the book is the blood of the ultimate vampire; any vampire who consumes it can go out in daylight unharmed.

The next day Helen meets up with Kazaf and the two head off to a wedding....because Helen likes crashing weddings. Before I skip this scene I like to point that Jackie Chan is in this film....he's not the main character but he's in it. As their connection blooms further, Prada persuades Kazaf to tell Helen that he's a vampire and he does. I gotta tell you Helen does a better response to this revelation than Bella, for one Helen doesn't react with a featureless blank slate expression. Anyway Kazaf collapsed on the ground due to not been drinking blood for days. Helen takes Kazaf to a hospital sneaking into a blood bank to gather blood; they're almost out scott free until they are followed by a vampire. They managed to get away and hide off in an ambulance where SURPRISE Jackie Chan is an ambulance driver; well they manage to have him around so damn it you might as well have him fight vampires in the next scene. They drive off from the hospital and are immediately attacked by vampires; Jackie tries to fend them off as he's driving the ambulance. He runs over one of the vampires before coming to a stop in the middle of the road; one vampire attacks Jackie while another one attacks Helen in the ambulance. And you know something neither of them has not taken that vampire blood extract, so how exactly are they able to fight off vampires? And also Jackie seems too taken pretty well of the revelation that he's fighting vampires instead of freaking out. But you know what seeing Jackie Chan acting like a goof while fighting vampires I'll for forgive this scene. At least it's far more entertaining than what Twilight tries to shove into my brain. Anyway the two managed to fight off the vampires and runs away...bye Jackie Chan. Upon returning home, Helen tells Gypsy that she's dating a vampire and wants her to down Reeve for her. Of course Reeve doesn't agree to this but Gypsy talks him out of killing Kazaf. We cut to Reeve and Gypsy at the church which is already been taken over by Dekotes. Reeve goes in alone to fight him but is quickly taken down and is taken captive. Later Gypsy goes to Helen and Kazaf to help rescue Reeve; back at the church Kazaf tries to distract Dekotes while Helen and Gypsy go rescue Reeve. They found him in the basement of the church but unfortunately have become a full vampire with the antidote gone. Leaving with no choice, Gypsy stabs him allowing his last amount of humanity to finish the job for her. Meanwhile Dekotes has extracted the last blood essence from Kazaf opens the Day for Night. Helen and Gypsy arrive and starts taking out Dekotes' minions and once again neither of them hasn't taken the vampire blood extract. What is the point of having this thing if they can take on vampire minions with zero difficulties whatsoever? Anyway before Dekotes consumes the ultimate vampire blood Gypsy intervenes and cuts the extract in two pieces. Dekotes ends up with a smaller piece while Gypsy has the bigger piece and without thinking she consumes it granting her vampire strength and speed. OK the film never explains is this blood has ANY EFFECT on humans but Gypsy seems to go right ahead without any fear of nothing happening or the extract would turn her evil. Anyway this gives her the upper hand and is able to defeat Dekotes once and for all. The film ends with Helen, Gypsy, and Kazaf continuing the mission of eliminating vampires.


My Final Verdict: I wish this film has a subtitle below the film's title that says "Twilight can kiss my ass"....seriously. Sure the film is silly in its own right but at least it's not a raping insult like Twilight, the characters here have far better personalities than the whole of Twilight. Even Helen is more of a strong, independent, and a progressive character while as for Bella is no more than a codependent mentally damaged sociopath. Oh don't worry there's plenty more vampire films out there that are FAR SUPERIOR than Twilight to review so look forward to those in the days ahead. But until then stay tuned as we look into a rather meh film, next time it's D.E.B.S.

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