I came across this film during my post high school years and was having low standards at the time I kinda enjoy this film at the time. But looking back to it now this film is meh. OK the reason why I kinda enjoy because there were lesbians in this film. Hey I was young, stupid, lonely, and horny back then; but now I think that's just a distraction from the rather goofy plot which goes like this. A secret test hidden in the SATs which measures an applicant's ability to fight, cheat, lie and kill. Those who score well on this hidden test are selected to become members of the secret paramilitary academy called D.E.B.S. Right away I got problems with that plot. Apparently this hidden test only measures on the applicant's ability to fight, cheat, lie, and kill; that sounds like an Al-Qaeda entry application. And also since this test is not measure on how smart the applicant is what if some dumbass passes this test out of sheer bullshiting the world would be fraking screwed. Anyway the film is based off a short film of the same name and plot and I've stalled enough let’s get started.
We opened with the introduction of the four women who pass the test Max the Leader (and a bitch)(played by Meagan Good), Amy the Perfect Score (played by Sara Foster), Janet the Rookie (played by Jill Ritchie), and Dominique the Slut (played by Devon Aoki). Yeah I know I'm being mean and I'm sorry but that's how this film pretty much display these characters clearly cliché and stereotypical. We cut to the girls rendezvousing with Mr. Phipps (Michael Clarke Duncan) at D.E.B.S. Academy; they're debriefed on a new of surveying a high profile criminal Lucy Diamond (played by Jordana Brewster). Cut to a restaurant the Les Deux Amours where the D.E.B. girls keep watch on Lucy which they think she's making dealings with a Russian assassin Ninotchka Kaprova (played by Jessica Cauffiel) but what actually is going on is a blind date. And skipping through the boring parts the girls get spotted by Lucy and a gunfight breaks out in the restaurant. And yes these girls are going into a gunfight looking like anime school girls, and yes these outfits can't protect jack shit in a gunfight. And yes these girls are flipping stupid of going into a gunfight wearing school girl clothes instead of body armor. And don't make the excuse that it's sexy; these girls charged into a gunfight with the most obvious chance of getting shot in their most unprotected areas. That's not sexy that's being impractical and stupid, hell at least Black Widow wears a body suit before going into a battle. You really think Black Widow is gonna walkaway untouched looking like the biggest dumbass bullseye in the room? Anyway Lucy gets out of the restaurant and the girls split up and pursued her. Amy and Janet spots her entering a warehouse and the two split up and follow her. Inside the warehouse Amy and Lucy bump into each other and two break into a standoff. Lucy starts to take interests to Amy after she explains that writing a thesis about her, the rest of the girls arrived but Lucy is already gone. And in utter shock the girls believe that Amy fought Lucy and live to tell about and yes it does become a big deal.
Later that night still interested in Amy, Lucy infiltrates the D.E.B.S. residence and sneaks into Amy's room. Lucy asked Amy to go out with her but she refuses but being held at crossbow point Amy has no choice. As the two leave they're noticed by Janet leaving no choice for Lucy to take her with them. On the road they stop at an underground nightclub called The Junk Pit; Lucy continues to charm Amy. Amy finally opens up and the two make a connection, so much so that they almost kiss but Janet stops them and her and Amy want to go. Lucy drops them off back at the residence and wants to see Amy again but she refuses and returns the residence. The next day at the academy everyone are praising for Amy being the only person who confronted Lucy and survived Amy gets promoted to squad captain and Max gets piss off blah blah blah next scene. The girls get a report that Lucy is robbing a bank and they head out to apprehend her. Upon arriving at the bank it turns out it's trap to get the girls out of the way so that Lucy can some alone time with Amy. Amy at first was resistant but finally starts feeling for Lucy and the two kiss and leave the bank together while the rest of the girls believe that Lucy kidnapped Amy. The film pads out into a montage of Lucy and Amy bonding while the D.E.B.S. is on the manhunt for Lucy. We cut to Lucy's hideout where the two continue to bond; back at the D.E.B.S. residence Max receives an anonymous call on where Amy is and the girls gear up and head out. Arriving at the hideout the girls are confronted by Lucy's henchmen but quickly subdue them. They enter Lucy's bedroom to find her and Amy making out which brings them in utter shock at the sight. The head honchos of D.E.B.S. are not too pleased with this but don't want to start a scandal so they cover it up as Amy was under mind-control by Lucy or something. Later in Amy's room Lucy sneaks in and tries to talk to her but Amy refuses to listen and sets off an alarm. Lucy gets out the room and escapes before the girls show up. Feeling down over Amy's rejection, Lucy decides to turn over a new leaf to win her back. So the film pads out into another montage of Lucy returning stolen items. We cut to a D.E.B.S. year-end dance called Endgame where Amy receives an award while Lucy attempts to sneak in. Inside Lucy spots Amy giving her speech and Amy spots Lucy and begins share her feelings out in the open and admits that she loves Lucy and leaves. The two reunite but are confronted by Max, Dominique, and Janet; Amy convinces Max for the two go off together and Max lets them go. The film ends with Amy and Lucy drive off into the night happily in love.
My Final Verdict: This film tries to out What The Fuck the Charles' Angels films and succeeded because anyone who watch this will go What The Fuck. Now there are some good moments but we have to go through some goofy pointless shit to get there. You wanna watch a film with badass female character without feeling like you just got dumber come talk to me I'll give you a list. Hell I'll give you an example Aliens with the character Ellen Ripley. Oh what you were expected me to say Bella Swan from Twilight well let tell you this. BELLA SWAN COULDN'T BENCH PRESS ELLEN RIPLEY'S BALLS! OK I think I made my peace with that so stay tuned next time as we look into Super Capers.
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