Saturday, May 19, 2018

Hits & Misses: Alien Covenant




Hit: Opening Title sequence does a call back to the first movie.

Hit: This movie's soundtrack.

Miss: Guess having James Franco in the movie was pointless considering that his character dies a few minutes in.

Hit: A touchy scene from Daniels and Walter.

Miss: The new captain doesn't pay respects to their fallen captain.....dick.

Miss: *The Covenant crew walks on an alien planet without wearing suits.* And right away this crew is dumber than the Prometheus crew.

Hit: Hi David. Now there's two Michael Fassbenders.

Hit: It's a nice contrast between Walter and David.

Miss: Oh yeah, just locked in your crew mate with a newborn Zenomorph....what a bitch.

Miss: Death by Spray and Pray stupidity.

Miss: David is essentially Discount Roy Batty with a god complex.

Real Talk: If they wanted Fassbender to play Roy Batty just make a Blade Runner prequel.

Miss: When did David developed this complex between Prometheus and this movie? As soon as he reached the Engineer Planet he kills everyone, why?

Miss: David: "It's safe, I promise"
LIAR!

Miss: Elizabeth Shaw is dead but the movie hints that David did something to her. Doesn't show what or why.

Miss: How was David able to create facehuggers without any tech?

Hit: One jump scare.....somebody's learning.

Hit: Walter vs David

Miss: This movie feels rather short.

Miss: The Sargent had a facehugger on him for roughly a few seconds and yet he still had a chestburster implanted in him, how?

Miss: Oh no that's not Walter it's really David the whole time. Which I saw it coming from a city block away, also bye Walter.

Miss: Most of the scenes that were shown on YouTube are nowhere to be found in this movie.

Real Talk: I'm under the impression that this movie and Prometheus are going a different direction from the Alien series.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Hits & Misses: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2




Hit: This movie's soundtrack.

Hit: Gotta give this movie credit of de-aging what Kurt Russel looked like in the 80s. I don't know if I should find that impressive or weird.

Miss: So Peter's mom knew about his alien dad yet didn't mention it in the first movie.

Hit: Baby Groot steals the first few minutes of the opening.

Hit: Drax is as Drax as ever.

Hit: Hi Nebula!

Hit/Wait What: BEN BROWDER!

Hit/Wait What: SYLVESTER STALLONE!

LOL: "Wasn't ripe yet"

Hit/LOL: Mantis

Hit/LOL: Mantis and Drax

Miss/LOL: Drax can be kind of a dick to Mantis.

Hit: Suddenly I'm getting Big Trouble in Little China flashbacks. Now if only Peter or Ego made a reference to that film.

Hit: Hi Howard!

Miss: The Ravagers are dicks to Baby Groot.

Miss: Sad Baby Groot

Real Talk: I don't wanna know where Groot got that severed toe.

Hit: Baby Groot gets pay back.

Hit: Apparently Yondu has a prototype fin that almost makes him look the character from the comics.

Real Talk: This movie breaks the 4th wall more times than Deadpool.

Miss: Ego almost has Peter on his side and for no reason he out right confess that he killed Peter's mom! WHO THE HELL DOES THAT WHEN THEY'RE THIS CLOSE OF WINNING?!

Hit: Hi David Hasselhoff!

Miss: An omnipotent god-planet is easily put to sleep by Mantis.....WHAT!? That's like Galactus getting beat up by Squirrel Girl, it's just......WHAT!?

Hit: Most of the characters' backstory.

Hit: The Watchers!

Hit: Yondu gets a character arc.

Hit/Wait What: VING RHAMES!

Hit/Wait What: MICHELLE YEOH!

Real Talk: Not gonna lie if next The Expendables movie takes place in outer space, I totally watch it.

Miss/Meh: I don't like Teenage Groot, he's not as adorable.

Hit: Yes we are Groot Mr Hasselhoff, yes we are.