Miss:
This movie is like if Stephanie Meyer wrote a shitty X-Men script and Fox just
went with it out of pity.
Miss:
“The School” Well this isn’t the most vague as fuck of a location ever.
Miss:
Hi creepy bearded guy, care to back the hell up from my personal space?
Miss:
Creepy bearded guy in a SUV filled with kids; this doesn’t scream potential
child molestation at all.
Miss:
Creepy bearded guy leaves his own son behind, what an asshole.
Real
Talk: Jenna Marbles is one of the Executive Producers but giving how bland this
movie is she needs to make some MAJOR improvements. That or just stick to
YouTube.
Miss:
Narration…..
Miss:
A few minutes in and already I find Max incredibly boring, unimpressive and has
a weak presence.
Miss:
Max, eating two cookies is not a meal let alone a breakfast. You could at least
have some cereal.
Miss:
I would care for these characters’ crisis if none of them didn’t sound like
they came from a CW soap opera.
Miss:
Angel can mentally hear the Erasers approaching the house but doesn’t bother to
tell Max and the others.
Miss:
Discount Sabretooth or Discount Jacob Black, take your pick.
Miss:
“Max and Ari in a flashback” Yeah Ari could you say your lines without sounding
like a speakonia robot.
Question:
“Max and Ari in a flashback” Now why would Jeb (the creepy bearded guy) brings
his son to a top secret facility?
Real
Talk: Any person (fictional or otherwise) who’s named Gazzy has all of my sympathies.
Because that name is such a low hanging fruit that’s practically begging for
fart jokes.
Miss:
Nudge makes a point that “The Nest” is no longer safe but Max is certain that
the Erasers won’t be back. Although it’s too bad that the movie proves how
wrong Max is later on.
Hit:
I gotta be honest here some of the visual/special effects do have decent
quality in some scenes.
Miss:
However, the visual/special effects in other scenes have qualities that reminds
me of some of the Asylum films that I had the unfortunate pleasure to watch.
Miss:
Max was doing fine being a bad ass until the guy pulls out a gun and shoots
her. Apparently being shot at makes her forget that she has wings and could’ve
just flown out of the way or just simply dodge.
Miss:
The woman who was just being sexually assaulted is not all that bothered of two
people whom happened to have wings as she helps them out. I get that they saved
her and all but still she should at least shown some unease towards them.
Hit:
Max having actually breakfast.
Miss:
Well Nudge has shitty priorities, Angel is kidnapped and their house is gone
after Sabretooth Jacob Black Ari came by. But sure Nudge go scoop out some
clothing store with no fucks given to your current situation.
Miss:
I know what this movie’s doing with the whole “people with powers surviving
while hiding from the fearfully, normal society” trope. The problem is this has
been done to death since the X-Men. At least with the anime series Tiger &
Bunny and My Hero Academia tried something different with people born with
powers.
Miss:
Obvious forced romantic interest is obvious.
Miss:
“Max and Ari in a flashback #2” Seriously what is with Ari as a kid, acting
somewhat normal when he first met Max. Then he acts like a complete creeper
psychopath to her later on. And again why is this kid at a top secret facility,
ever heard of babysitters?
Miss:
Ari: “We’re the good guys!” You are, because I don’t see it as much as I see
you as a psychopath. Also whoever this organization is have not displayed that
they are the good guys. So yeah Ari you’re full of shit.
Hit:
Ass shot.
Miss:
Jeb’s the one who captured Max and the others, even though he was the one that
let them out years ago. I would be surprised if I wasn’t too busy of not caring.
Miss:
“For the greater good” cliché.
Miss:
Ari must be blind as a bat or as dumb as the bat nipples because how could he
not see Max obviously going for the keycard. And it’s not like she’s even
trying to be sneaking about it.
Miss:
“Max running away from the Erasers” What is with these weird ass, quick as fuck
cuts, they’re practically giving me seizures!
Miss:
Obvious sequel baiting is obvious.
BONUS
ROUND
Miss/Sarcasm:
“The Institute”, “The Nest”, “The School”…. Clearly the pinnacle of creativity
this movie has.
Miss:
Apparently Iggy’s met to be blind but given the actor’s performance through the
movie it was rather choppy to notice that.
Miss:
What exactly are the motives of the Institute, what was the purpose of creating
these children? Creating new species of humanity, for profit, for power? Maybe
the movie should’ve taken the time to give out important details rather than having
vague ass speeches that don’t explain anything.
Miss:
This movie’s ability of being boringly mediocre with its story and characters reminds
Speed of Thought. And I don’t need to be getting flashbacks of that pile of
garbage.
