I wasn't kidding when I said I'm reviewing Jennifer's Body and honestly I wish I was. I already did a short review of it back in 2009 I was not even impressed or scared by this. Now during a full review will this get me to understand Jennifer's Body a bit better? No no not really. So the movie came out in 2009 the year that's well known to be the worst year for filmmakers. The film stars Amanda Seyfried and...sigh Megan Fox as high school buddies. Seriously I should have expected this film to be so stupid but had no clue how so stupid upon watching it. Watching the film's trailer is go enough because one the trailer pretty much spoils the whole movie so there's no sense of mystery nor shock value at all.
OK I should talk the film now so the film starts as flashback from Needy's (played Amanda Seyfried) perspective as she is being kept in solitary confinement in a mental institution. So the flashback starts off when Needy and Jennifer (played by Megan Fox) as high school buddies and all the other stereotypical high school crap as if the filmmaker knows what goes on in high schools. Anyway one night they went to a local dive bar and they meet an indie band Low Shoulder a suspicious fire breaks out killing some of the people inside. Further suspicions when the indie band invites Jennifer to go with them and she does so. Now here is where the scare factor of this movie begins to get mediocre real quick. Jennifer mysteriously shows up at Needy's place acts all dull looking and vomits weird black fluid. While Needy is desperately trying act scare by this but in reality not impress at all which on the following morning was completely forgotten. Upon the days that followed Jennifer seduces a high school jock before eating him again there's neither shock nor surprise since the trailer spoils the film. So it's more like a "No Shit" moment for the audience. There's even another "No Shit" moment when Jennifer dates a goth kid and once again no shock or surprise when she eats him. However, it's a nice scene when she's eating his guts out...quite literally. Later on Jennifer explains to Needy that she was virgin sacrifice by the indie band in order to become famous. However, earlier in the film she states that she may not be a virgin through anal sex. So upon not being a virgin she comes back as a demon that needs to eat human flesh in order to survive. You think that if you're going to sacrifice a virgin, a high school student will be the last person to think of. I mean the percentage of a high school student being a virgin can be extremely low in most standards. As much as I appreciate an explanation on how Jennifer became a demon but the film sure does take its sweet time to get there. And that this discovery feels half-assed with the way Megan Fox tells this explanation as if she just came back from a frat party. Needy researches and discovers that Jennifer is a succubus, a succubus a female demon that seduces men in their dreams before killing them. Now take a guess of accurate the actions of Jennifer to the folklore of a succubus, I'll give you a hint NOT EVEN FLIPPING CLOSE! Also how could Needy deduct that Jennifer is a succubus, true she's a demon and she eats men despite not going into their dreams. But that's like if she came back as a zombie and Needy deducts that she's a vampire. OK I'm gonna cut to the ending and trust me it's a new level of stupid. The dialogs in this film are just dump and awkward but not as such when Needy thought that Jennifer only eats boys and Jennifer replies "I can go both ways." I had no idea that when you become a demon eating people of certain gender was OPTIONAL! I'm sorry but when you're demon I don't think it's up to you who to eat it's more of an instinct than an option. Plus that dialog is so stupid that it clearly discards Needy's succubus research theory. Needy confronts Jennifer ultimately stabbing her in the heart killing her and that's why Needy ended up in the mental institution. Having telling her flashback to the audience, Needy ends up escaping the institution via her succubus powers due to being bitten by Jennifer. So what a succubus is related to a werewolf now when the hell did that come from? Why don't you ahead and make the succubae are related to the Cullens from Twilight. The film ends with Needy with her werewolf/succubus powers kills the indie band that started this half-assed film.
My final verdict: This film is labeled as a black comedy horror film, my ass this is a black comedy horror film I get more laughs from Killer Klowns from Outer Space than this film. Jennifer's Body has no clue of what it is; a cheesy Scooby Doo rip off, a TV film made by MTV. Hell for all I know this is a porno spoof based from a popular horror film, but the question is which popular horror film? Watching this film is like watching two crappy episodes of Charmed and I've watched a lot of crappy episodes of Charmed. Aside from the trailer spoiling the film there's no build up in most of the horror scenes that needs build up. The mythology of succubae is both a mess and half-ass by the writers as if us the audience won't bother to think a lot nor do research on succubus. And one more time the trailer spoils the whole film giving no sense of mystery, shock value, and surprise throughout the film. It's like the filmmaker has watched horror films, has grown up with horror films, and has collected posters of horror films. But doesn't seem to know the basis on how to make a good horror film. And there's the unimpressive acting from the cast and yet Megan Fox surpasses anyone starred in this film in unimpressive acting. She spends the entire film being a cliché of what a woman should be in high school. And then when she comes back as demon she practically acts the same person only she's desperately trying to scare the audience. And trust me with her acting skills it does take a lot of flipping effort to pull it off. So if you're really really really curious about this film there's only two ways you can enjoy it. One that you never seen the trailers and two you have to be really terrified of Megan Fox and if you are I feel so sorry for you. Next week stick around as I review The Tournament.
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