The Film Vindicator Review: The Tournament

I'm doing this review a day early due to tech difficulties but I deeply hope that it's minor so on with The Tournament. The film came out in October 2009 and it stars Ving Rhames, Kelly Hu, and Robert Carlyle. The plot is that every ten years thirty of the most deadliest killers and assassins are gather together to participate in "The Tournament". The last person left wins the $10,000,000 prize and also this tournament can happen at any place including a town filled with people. This tournament is run by a group of the world's wealthiest and most powerful men. Who also control the international media with their billions therefore they have devised the ultimate entertainment for themselves. The film starts off with Joshua Harlow (played by Ving Rhames) winning the previous tournament and can now retired with the prize money. Or will he? Ten years later another tournament begins in a small town somewhere in Europe, there we are introduced to Lai Lai Zhen (played by Kelly Hu) who like the other combatants are drugged and implanted with a tracker. Not too far in to the film Joshua makes his return to the tournament in search of one of the combatants who killed his wife and unborn child. Most of scenes in the film are mostly the combatants killing each other in the most gruesome way possible. Later in the film one of the combatants removes the tracker and tosses it to a coffee pot which in turn is served to Father Macavoy (played by Robert Carlyle). Macavoy is a failed and drunking priest, the film barely explains why he's a failed and drunking priest he just is. It does get a little bothersome but you'll get over that. So he drinks down the tracker and now all the combatants are after him and that when he runs into Lai Lai who figures out that he's not a combatant and decides to protect him. You're probably wondering does Father Macavoy actually wins the tournament out of sheer bullshit and luck. Well don't worry that doesn't happen he pukes out the tracker later on. Lai Lai and Father Macavoy bonded for a bit to found out that Lai Lai killed Joshua's wife and unborn child. And that she must win the tournament so that she can disappear from the world. So the final fight between Lai Lai and Joshua ends at a church where it's revealed that she was hired by Mr. Powers (played by Liam Cunningham) who is in charge of the tournament in order to trick Joshua in to coming back due to his mass popularity. The fight ends with Joshua killing Lai Lai thus winning the tournament again or did he?

Before I go on I want to say that Ving Rhames is an absolute bad ass in this film from beginning to end. One scene that he gets his index finger chopped off, shot in the leg, and stabbed in the shoulder. Yet he just keeps on being a bad ass, hell there's a car chase scene where he ends up chasing yet he easily walks away. That's right he's practically the flipping Terminator bad ass, you can't mess with him, you can't get away from him. He'll flipping killed you like it's a habit my friends. So the final scene of the film is at a place where the high-rollers are celebrating Joshua's win until he arrives there. Pissed to all hell of what Mr. Powers did to his family he kills him in the most bad ass way possible. That he takes Lai Lai's tracker (which it's been revealed early in the film that they're rigged to explode if there's no winner). Shoves it down Mr. Power's mouth and they both explode. That's right Ving Rhames is that of a bad ass that he dies like a bad ass.

My final verdict: This film is just gruesome and enjoyable and that Ving Rhames is a bad ass. I recommend watching this film. Hopefully next week its back to regularly schedule reviews and tech problems solved as I review Solarbabies.

The Film Vindicator Review: Jennifer's Body

I wasn't kidding when I said I'm reviewing Jennifer's Body and honestly I wish I was. I already did a short review of it back in 2009 I was not even impressed or scared by this. Now during a full review will this get me to understand Jennifer's Body a bit better? No no not really. So the movie came out in 2009 the year that's well known to be the worst year for filmmakers. The film stars Amanda Seyfried and...sigh Megan Fox as high school buddies. Seriously I should have expected this film to be so stupid but had no clue how so stupid upon watching it. Watching the film's trailer is go enough because one the trailer pretty much spoils the whole movie so there's no sense of mystery nor shock value at all.

OK I should talk the film now so the film starts as flashback from Needy's (played Amanda Seyfried) perspective as she is being kept in solitary confinement in a mental institution. So the flashback starts off when Needy and Jennifer (played by Megan Fox) as high school buddies and all the other stereotypical high school crap as if the filmmaker knows what goes on in high schools. Anyway one night they went to a local dive bar and they meet an indie band Low Shoulder a suspicious fire breaks out killing some of the people inside. Further suspicions when the indie band invites Jennifer to go with them and she does so. Now here is where the scare factor of this movie begins to get mediocre real quick. Jennifer mysteriously shows up at Needy's place acts all dull looking and vomits weird black fluid. While Needy is desperately trying act scare by this but in reality not impress at all which on the following morning was completely forgotten. Upon the days that followed Jennifer seduces a high school jock before eating him again there's neither shock nor surprise since the trailer spoils the film. So it's more like a "No Shit" moment for the audience. There's even another "No Shit" moment when Jennifer dates a goth kid and once again no shock or surprise when she eats him. However, it's a nice scene when she's eating his guts out...quite literally. Later on Jennifer explains to Needy that she was virgin sacrifice by the indie band in order to become famous. However, earlier in the film she states that she may not be a virgin through anal sex. So upon not being a virgin she comes back as a demon that needs to eat human flesh in order to survive. You think that if you're going to sacrifice a virgin, a high school student will be the last person to think of. I mean the percentage of a high school student being a virgin can be extremely low in most standards. As much as I appreciate an explanation on how Jennifer became a demon but the film sure does take its sweet time to get there. And that this discovery feels half-assed with the way Megan Fox tells this explanation as if she just came back from a frat party. Needy researches and discovers that Jennifer is a succubus, a succubus a female demon that seduces men in their dreams before killing them. Now take a guess of accurate the actions of Jennifer to the folklore of a succubus, I'll give you a hint NOT EVEN FLIPPING CLOSE! Also how could Needy deduct that Jennifer is a succubus, true she's a demon and she eats men despite not going into their dreams. But that's like if she came back as a zombie and Needy deducts that she's a vampire. OK I'm gonna cut to the ending and trust me it's a new level of stupid. The dialogs in this film are just dump and awkward but not as such when Needy thought that Jennifer only eats boys and Jennifer replies "I can go both ways." I had no idea that when you become a demon eating people of certain gender was OPTIONAL! I'm sorry but when you're demon I don't think it's up to you who to eat it's more of an instinct than an option. Plus that dialog is so stupid that it clearly discards Needy's succubus research theory. Needy confronts Jennifer ultimately stabbing her in the heart killing her and that's why Needy ended up in the mental institution. Having telling her flashback to the audience, Needy ends up escaping the institution via her succubus powers due to being bitten by Jennifer. So what a succubus is related to a werewolf now when the hell did that come from? Why don't you ahead and make the succubae are related to the Cullens from Twilight. The film ends with Needy with her werewolf/succubus powers kills the indie band that started this half-assed film.

My final verdict: This film is labeled as a black comedy horror film, my ass this is a black comedy horror film I get more laughs from Killer Klowns from Outer Space than this film. Jennifer's Body has no clue of what it is; a cheesy Scooby Doo rip off, a TV film made by MTV. Hell for all I know this is a porno spoof based from a popular horror film, but the question is which popular horror film? Watching this film is like watching two crappy episodes of Charmed and I've watched a lot of crappy episodes of Charmed. Aside from the trailer spoiling the film there's no build up in most of the horror scenes that needs build up. The mythology of succubae is both a mess and half-ass by the writers as if us the audience won't bother to think a lot nor do research on succubus. And one more time the trailer spoils the whole film giving no sense of mystery, shock value, and surprise throughout the film. It's like the filmmaker has watched horror films, has grown up with horror films, and has collected posters of horror films. But doesn't seem to know the basis on how to make a good horror film. And there's the unimpressive acting from the cast and yet Megan Fox surpasses anyone starred in this film in unimpressive acting. She spends the entire film being a cliché of what a woman should be in high school. And then when she comes back as demon she practically acts the same person only she's desperately trying to scare the audience. And trust me with her acting skills it does take a lot of flipping effort to pull it off. So if you're really really really curious about this film there's only two ways you can enjoy it. One that you never seen the trailers and two you have to be really terrified of Megan Fox and if you are I feel so sorry for you. Next week stick around as I review The Tournament.

Toon Closet Review: WildC.A.T.s

Hey everyone and welcome to my new segment called Toon Closet here on the Film Vindicator blog. This is where I review toons from American cartoons to Japanese anime whether good or god awful. So let's get started with the WildC.A.T.s, cartoons based on popular comic book characters have been the norm since the 40s. But the early 90s was the milestone for upstarted independent comic companies would get into comics to cartoons genre. One of which was Image Comics with one of comic series the WildC.A.T.s. The series came on the air in October 1, 1994, lasting only one season with only 13 episodes aired. The story goes that long when earth was still primitive two warring alien starships arrived that the orbit of Earth, the immortal humanoid Kherubims and the monstrous Daemonites. After sustaning heavy damage the two ships crashed on Earth, while the Daemonites went into hiding the Kherubims integrated with the naives. In present time a multi-millionaire and owner of the Halo Corporation Jacob Marlowe formed the Covert Action Team (C.A.Ts WildC.A.T.s) to fight the Daemonites after discovering Void the Kherubim starship's AI. Each member of the WildC.A.T.s is a human/Kherubim hybrid possessing genetic traits of Kherubim abilities. When the series went from comic to TV format there were a few chances to make the series family-friendly. BIG chances, such as the human character Jacob Marlowe is a Kherubim named Lord Emp in the comics. The character Voodoo was chance from an ex-stripper to an orphan ballet dancer, and Void is not a starship AI in the comics. Despite the big chances the series by itself is a good series, the plot is self-contain, there's tad of drama that doesn't oversaturate among the characters. And the overall voice-acting and animation is well standard, even though I never the comics back then I love this series. Looking back on it now to this day I still love it just the same as I love the Batman animated series or the X-Men animate series.

Final verdict if you grown up with comics that went to cartoons in the 90s this is the series for you. Don't even need to read the WildC.A.T.s comic to get in to it the series is self-explanatory. If you're lucky you can find the complete series on YouTube or you can buy it on DVD that was released by Funimation.

The Film Vindicator Review: Bug

Sorry for the delay couldn't be helped so on to Bug. The film stars Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, and Harry Connick Jr. and was released in 2006.

At first glimpse it may sound like another conspiracy theory movie but in all honesty it does tends to make you think is it a conspiracy or is the two lead characters are just straight up crazy. I mean you have Ashley's character Agnes who is a drug addict also has mysteriously lost her son and Michael's character Peter a discharged solider who turns out to be mentally ill. After Agnes and Peter made a one night stand everything went really bat-crap when Peter starts "seeing" a few bugs on him who starts to bother him and creeps out Agnes. As the audience you're thinking that it's probably nothing since the film never shows these bugs so you're not sure if there are any bug and that Peter's pretty weird. Later on you see Peter scratching himself then starts placing fly trappers all over the small motel room. At this point Peter explains to Agnes that he was part of biological experiment by the military. Agnes's reaction to this is about the same as the audience you're a bit skeptical to believe him or that he's absolutely crazy. These "delusions" continue to disturb Agnes until she is convinced that she too is part of the experiment involving the "bugs" and that her son's disappearance may be a part of it. The film ends with Peter and Agnes in the same motel room now covered with tin foil and bug zappers, believing that the government may come after them so they dowse themselves in gasoline and burned themselves alive.

Further thoughts on Bug: This film really gets in your head when watching, it makes you wonder is it a conspiracy or is this guy really out of his mind and Agnes is hopelessly drawn in. Usually in conspiracy theory movies they give hints that it's a conspiracy and the main characters have to figure out what it is. But in Bug it doesn't give you any hints the film leaves you to figure out what's going on. Well it gives you a few hints but doesn't spoil the movie. This direction does work if done right and honestly Bug does it right without being confusing. More or less this film breaks you to have two opposing thoughts. The first thought leads to believe that there's a conspiracy despite the film doesn't tell you it's a conspiracy not once does it show who's behind it nor it doesn't show the "bugs". While the second thought leads you to the obvious the Peter character is crazy he's mentally ill and that you really don't believe him despite his determination to prove that there's a conspiracy and the tiny bit of hints that there's a conspiracy. And there's the Agnes character who her life so deeply messed up that she finally breaks into his belief so convincingly that she believes she's a part of it. So you are really concern and scared for these characters as they trap in a convincing barrier between reality and delusion.

My verdict don't pass this film as another conspiracy theory movie I deeply recommend it hands down to watch this film. Tune in next time as I review...sigh Jennifer's Body, ugh.