The Film Vindicator Review: Eve of Destruction

Before we get started I wanna point out something that I didn’t get the chance in my Runaway review. Killer robot spiders are FUCKING scary.

We open in a hotel room where a man is getting dress only it turns out it’s not a hotel room but a testing area. And the man in question is actually a robot starting to malfunction in the hand. We’re introduced to a Dr. Eve Simmons (played by Renee Soutendijk) who is the robot’s creator. Simmons gets a call that Eve VIII (which was modeled after Simmons herself) is ready for a test run. Cut to Eve VIII traveling in San Francisco while a handler is keeping watch on her from a distance. Eve VIII stops at a bank as it gets held up by two armed gunmen soon after. The handler draws out his gun and shoots the first gunman dead but gets taking out by the second gunman. Shocked and confused, Eve VIII approaches the second gunman; the gunman shoots her but still approaches the gunman. Eve VIII disarms the gunman, throws him out of the window and leaves the bank with the gunmen’s stuff. Cut to a small village where a band of soldiers are ready to raid the place and rescue the hostages. The soldiers storm in taking out most of the guerilla fighters and proceed to save the hostages. However, a guerilla sleeper quickly takes them out. But it turns out this whole raid was a training mission and the sleeper in question is actually Colonel Jim McQuade (played by Gregory Hines) who’s in charge. After McQaude gives the Big Ass Motherfuckers-in-training a harsh prep talk, he’s approached by an officer with new orders. Cut to Simmons spending time with her son Timmy as she gets an emergency call to return to the lab. McQuade arrives at the NSC where Eve VIII was created and is being brief by military officials. Through the briefing it’s established that NSC’s goal is to create a robot that completely resembles a human being and Eve VIII is that robot. She was designed for surveillance work but NSC found her more potent as a battlefield weapon. Judging by what happened at the bank Eve VIII was in Battlefield Mode which is her highest state of readiness. Meaning that she will use force to protect herself from what she proceeds as terminal harm. This also means that in Battlefield Mode she won’t follow any orders she’s given. Long story short with McQuade’s impressive specialty in counter terrorism he’s brought in to work with Simmons to find and neutralize Eve VIII. Wait a minute….a man is brought in by an agency to take down a rogue robot…… Now I’m not saying this film ripped off Blade Runner but I will say this film was inspired by the very best. We cut to Eve VIII stopping at a gun store and a clothing store before checking into a motel room to dress her gunshot wound. Simmons shows Eve VIII’s schematics to McQuade describing that she has similar vital vulnerabilities as a human. Her motor functions are controlled by the spine and her heart and blood system have no medical functions. So a bullet to the heart won’t kill her; she can bleed but it won’t kill her. The only chance for McQuade to stop Eve VIII is to aim for either eye, putting a bullet to the brain. Now what Simmons hasn’t told him that Eve VIII has a small nuclear device cylinder at the base of the spine? She’s given an alert device by one of her superiors in case the cylinder is triggered and to keep McQuade out of the loop about it.

NSC gets a trace on Eve which places her somewhere in northern California. We cut to Eve showing up at a bar near the Pine Hill Motel and she’s immediately getting attention from some of the male locals. She invites one of the men to a motel room and about to have some kinky robot/human sexy time. Meanwhile outside of the motel a police patrol spots the parked mustang registered to Eve. Back in the motel the guy unzips his pants, whips out his junk and asks Eve to “say hello”. Come on dude you’re doing it wrong you’re supposed to say it like this. “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND”! Eve gets a little hesitate but complies however, she gets upset when the guy calls her a bitch. Being a stupid douche the guy continues to call her a bitch so she decides to do a pre-Teeth reenactment. The guy’s friends are outside the room as they hear him screaming; they come storming in seeing their douche friend on the floor and proceeds to attack Eve. She throws the first guy out of the room and breaks the other guy’s arm. The guy who was thrown out runs away into the awaiting squad of cops. They ready their guns as Eve appears out of the motel. They order Eve to show her hands but instead she shows them an Uzi, guns them all down and leaves. Later McQuade and Simmons arrived at the motel/bar; Simmons gets a feeling that she’s been at this place before. Cutting to a back room Simmons explains to McQuade that she use to live nearby when she was a teen. She would pass by this place but never went inside given that the place is a hooker joint. But she used to imagine of what would be like. With all of Simmons’ memories, she believes that Eve VIII was acting out on a fantasy….sexual fantasy. McQuade finds this unsettling that a robot is not only deadly but horny as well. Simmons is not too sure what Eve will do but McQuade believes by gathering everything from her past they may find Eve. McQuade reports to NSC on possible places that Eve may go to; he also has them search for Simmons father Bill. Cut to Eve on the road as she’s being troubled by memories of Simmons’ abusive childhood. Namely her father was abusive towards her and her mother. Distracted by these memories, Eve is unaware of the pissed off driver behind her. He managed to go around but he just had to be a stupid douche by provoking her as the guy speeds off. So course Eve goes into Battlefield Mode again and proceeds to chase after the guy. She catches up to him and starts ramming him down until he’s knocked off road. The guy gets back on the road but is unaware of Eve waiting for him. She speeds towards the car and completely plows it down however, in doing so the impact has cause the nuclear cylinder to be triggered. Simmons gets the alert signal and immediately calls NSC on the situation. Afterwards Simmons is left with no choice but to tell McQuade that Eve is a battlefield nuclear weapon. Designed to deployed in hostile countries but now that she’s activated they only have 24 hours to shut her down or she’ll explode with enough force to level 20 to 30 city blocks. Eve arrives in a town of St. Helena after stealing a jeep and stops at Bill Simmons’ (played by Kevin McCarthy) place. A little bit later McQuade and Simmons arrived at Bill’s place along with some BAMs for good measure. McQuade goes into to the house alone cautiously searching for Eve. McQuade finds Bill unconscious then gets attacked by Eve; he tries to fight back but he’s repeatedly overpowered. Eve has him at gunpoint saying “I saw what you did”, apparently she’s confusing McQuade with Simmons father for killing her mother. Simmons is listening in from McQuade’s com she then tries to talk down Eve as enters the house alone. She finds Eve holding her father in choke before she snaps his neck. Eve opens fire on Simmons but she quickly jumps for cover. She makes her but before she gun downs “three” marines. By that I mean we only saw Eve killed TWO marines, where the hell was the third guy just magically fallen into the BLACK HOLE? Great continuity movie.

Anyway McQuade approaches Simmons asking what she meant that he didn’t kill her. She’s been hiding a memory for long time which is night her father killed her mother. Her father was heavily drunk at the time her mother try to talk him down from driving them all home but it only made him angrier. The two started fighting only for her father to push her mother into an oncoming car killing her instantly. Simmons now believes that Eve is trying live her creator’s life only without barriers. And her next stop in Simmons’ life is New York where her son is. With only ten hours before the big bang, McQuade and Simmons head out to New York. There a few NSC men are keeping watch on Simmons’ husband Peter (played by John M. Jackson) and Timmy in case Eve shows up. However, this proves futile as Eve is already in the apartment complex with one of the NSC men now dead. Eve arrives at the apartment, Peter unaware that it’s not the real Simmons is surprised to see her all different. Eve becomes much actuated as she keeps asking to see Timmy making the husband become rather nervous. She gets very excited to see Timmy actually a little too excited to the point that Peter moves her away from Timmy. Peter calms her down and heads to the kitchen; he gets a call from Simmons telling him that the Eve in the living room is a robot. She tells him to act normally, take Timmy out of the apartment and take the elevator down to the lobby. Peter calmly heads to the living room and gets Timmy but Eve is nowhere in sight. Peter and Timmy quietly head to the door but are stopped by Eve. Cut to McQuade waiting at the lobby gun drawn at the elevator; the elevator doors open but only sees Peter unconscious. McQuade heads out the complex to find Eve with Timmy in tow as she guns down a few NSC men. With only 15 minutes until the big bang, McQuade and Simmons follow Eve to a subway station. McQuade continues to pursue Eve while Simmons tries to head them off at other station. Eve open fires on McQuade badly wounding him but McQuade shrugs it off like he’s Inigo Montoya and keeps pursuing her. With only 5 minutes until the big bang, McQuade has Eve cornered at the tracks and readies to take the kill shot. But Eve has Timmy held in the path of McQuade’s kill shot unable to aim for one of for eyes. Simmons arrives at the tracks while train is heading towards them; she pleas to Eve to throw Timmy to her before the train come. Seeing a memory of Simmons playfully tossing Timmy, Eve feels a sense of happiness and tosses Timmy to her. With only less than a minute before the big bang, McQuade takes aim for one of her eyes and takes the kill shot. Quickly after he dives to the ground avoiding the oncoming train behind him. All seems over however, Eve still alive grabs Simmons and throws her down while it’s only 30 seconds until the big bang. Eve approaches Simmons as McQuade slides his gun to Simmons; she shoots at Eve but keeps missing the weak point and runs out bullets. McQuade verbally distracts Eve long enough for Simmons to stab her in the eye with the gun finally killing her and stopping the big bang clock at 9 seconds. And with that the film ends.

My Final Verdict: Even though Eve of Destruction was made in 1991, something about this film has a rather 80s vibe to it. Not sure if it’s the story, the tone, the music or maybe all of the above. It just screams of 80s cheese and I kinda like it. The acting is pretty good for the most part for an early 90s film. The interaction between McQuade and Simmons has a rather impressive dynamic and Renee Soutendijk’s dual role though already been done in many films the performance here is creative.

OK that bad Host taste in my brain is fading away but I think one more sci-fi film might wash it away completely. So stay tuned next time as we look into Virtuosity.

The Film Vindicator Review: Runaway

The 80s really spared no expense when it comes to sci-fi genre films and if it weren’t so we wouldn’t have gotten the greats such as Robocop, The Terminator, Aliens, Blade Runner and so on. Even most of the lesser known sci-fi films gain some popularity over the years; I like to see The Host (2013) try to get any ounce of popularity for the next 20 to 30 years.

We open on the introduction of Sgt. Jack Ramsay (played by Magnum P.I. himself Tom Selleck). He’s soon introduced by his captain to a new partner Karen Thompson (played Cynthia Rhodes) as he gets the call of a runaway robot. Cut to Ramsay and Karen arriving at a corn field to stop a pest controller robot that’s running through the field ruining the corn in the process. Karen enters the field and managed to catch it but the pest controller shorts out causing Karen to drop it and the robot runs off. Ramsay catches up with Karen and the two go after the robot; they catch up and finally caught it as the robot harmlessly explodes. Afterwards Karen asked Ramsay why he transferred to the Runaway Squad and he answered that his fear of heights kept getting in the way of his police work. Back at the police station it’s further explained to Karen by Ramsay’s other partner Sgt. Marvin James (played by Stan Shaw) that his acrophobia cause a criminal to get away. Ramsay was chasing the assailant to a building that was under construction; the vertigo set in to the point that Ramsay couldn’t keep up and the assailant got away. It’s revealed that the same assailant murdered a family; since then Ramsay blames himself and that working in the Runaway Squad would make up his mistake. Seconds later the Runaway Squad gets a code 709 meaning that a robot has committed homicide. We cut to Ramsay arriving at the crime scene and gets an update that a domestic robot model 9-12 has killed a wife and her sister with a kitchen knife while the wife’s 10 month old baby is still in the house and alive. The police set up a Floater camera and send it inside the house. They get a glimpse inside the house until the Floater is shot down by the 9-12 now armed with a magnum revolver. Ramsay goes talk to a David Johnson (played by Chris Mulkey) asking what modification he put on the robot. Johnson replies that he made no modification and has no idea why it killed his family. He freaks out when Ramsay tells him that it’s got a gun going on about “he’s gone insane” and panicky leaves the crime scene. Ramsay gears up with an EM scatter suit and a laser gun as we are introduced to the film’s villain Luther (played by Gene Simmons….insert your favorite KISS song here) as he watches. Ramsay slowly enters the house while being followed by news cameraman; Ramsay warns him to leave but the cameraman refuse ending getting shot and killed by the 9-12. Ramsay continues his way to the baby’s room but gets cut off by the 9-12. He detours to the parent’s room on one entrance while the 9-12 enters through the other; the 9-12 opens fire but Ramsay takes it out immediately with a few laser blasts. After getting the baby safely out of the house, Ramsay and Karen head to his place. There we’re introduced to his son Bobby (played by Joey Cramer); the three have a chat until Bobby is sent off to bed by Ramsay’s series 12 house robot Lois. Ramsay offers Karen to stay for dinner but she decides to go home instead. The next day Ramsay, Karen and Marvin are inspecting the rogue 9-12; Marvin finds a non-standard black with red stripe chip that didn’t came with the robot. The chip then starts smoking and then explodes as if it self-detonated. Marvin comes to the conclusion that someone modified the 9-12 with this chip; meaning this was no runaway but murder. Ramsay and Karen return to the crime scene to find any clues; they look through a door-recorder and found a video message of Luther disguised as a robot repair guy before the message cut off. Cut to a company Vectrocon Security Systems where Luther is getting the chips from a partner. Luther pays the partner and leaves however, it turns out the money’s a fake and is killed by a killer robot spider. Cut to Ramsay and Karen outside of a hotel complex where Johnson is hiding. They head on inside and apprehended him immediately; back outside they about to take Johnson to the station but he panics as sees Luther across the street and runs away. Ramsay chases after him while Karen calls for back up; Luther soon follows Ramsay and Johnson. After a chase through the alley Ramsay finally catches up to Johnson. Luther appears drawing out a high tech gun and fires at Johnson; this is no ordinary bullet as it u turns around head towards Johnson. He quickly dodges the bullet runs off again with Ramsay not far behind. Luther fires another shot and the bullet follows the two through the alley. Ramsay tries to out run the bullet to no prevail and quickly moves out of its path. The bullet continues on to its original target Johnson; he tries to get away by climbing up a fire escape but the bullet chases up to him and kills him.

A little bit Ramsay and Karen head to Vectrocon where Johnson used to work as an electronic engineer. They come to a dead end on Johnson but immediately get a call of a runaway sentry robot in the Vectrocon building. Cut to one of the company’s secretary Jackie Rogers (played by Kristie Alley) being zapped harmlessly by the sentry robot. After a failed attempt to shut down the robot remotely, Ramsay goes on in to shut down manually. And by manually I mean Ramsay smashes the robot with a chair….SELLECK SMASH! Ramsay tries escort Jackie but she’s insists that she’ll be fine; while trying to leave Jackie drops her purse revealing Luther’s chips and the templates to make more of them. Apparently Luther has her getting the rest of the chips and the templates or he would kill her. She informs Ramsay that Luther is at a meeting at the Ritz Hotel. At the Ritz Hotel Ramsay has a squad of cops ready outside of Luther’s room. He quietly enters the room looking through a crack open door to see Luther making an arms deal. Karen busts in and has Luther and the arms dealers cover; Ramsay soon enters the room. Luther activates a Floater which releases a smokescreen; Luther gets his high tech gun shoots Karen but she’s only wounded. He then shoots the two arms dealers dead and takes a hooker hostage. He orders Ramsay to drop his and he does; Luther makes his escape through the stairs to the roof. Killing a few cops along the way. Ramsay soon follows up the stairs to the roof but Luther gets away by chopper. Back at in hotel room Karen is still incapacitated with the live microshell in her arm. Not taking any chances with a disarm robot, Ramsay decides to take the bullet out himself. Ramsay managed to get the bullet out safely and discards it before it explodes. While Karen is making a speedy recovery, Ramsay and Marvin are looking over one of the high tech bullets and Luther’s chips confiscated from the bust. The bullet itself has built in propulsion system, directional nozzles and electronics at the tip. These bullets can be programed to go after specific targets and the signature, a person’s body heat. Basically these bullet are like miniaturized heat seekers or smart bullets as Marvin would called them. As for Luther’s chips they are design to override CPU commands turning any computer into a killing machine. A little bit later Ramsay gets a call from Luther who has tapped into the police security cameras watching Ramsay. Luther demands Ramsay to surrender Jackie and the chips to him or he’ll kill her. However, Ramsay plans on moving her to a safe place. Ramsay and Jackie head out in a robot controlled police car while Karen follows in a regular police. On the road the escort is being followed by hired henchmen of Luther; they deployed a Lock-On (a small mobile smart bomb) that’s targeted on the escort. Karen arms a laser gun on top of the police car blasting the Lock-On. More Lock-Ons are deployed and approaching fast towards the escort as Karen continues blasting them. Ramsay and Jackie bail out of the police car and into Karen’s before a Lock-On takes the robot controlled car. Twelve Lock-Ons are approaching fast to the last police car; Ramsay suspects that they are somehow tracking Jackie. Jackie takes out the chip templates from purse tells him to throw the purse out the window. All of the Lock-Ons converged on the purse and explode.

Later at a restaurant Ramsay and Jackie wait for Luther to show up for the templates. Luther calls Ramsay through Karen’s earpiece to send Jackie to him. Ramsay asks to send Karen at the same time and Luther agrees but not before Jackie secretly splits half of the templates and gives it to Ramsay. Jackie walks towards Luther while Karen walks towards Ramsay. Jackie gives the templates to Luther but he soon after kills her knowing that he’s got only half of the templates. Luther open fires on Ramsay and makes his escape; Ramsay avoids the smart bullets but was unable to follow Luther. Back at the station they got a trace on Luther from a bug Ramsay put on the templates and head to a hospital. However, it turns out to be a diversion as we cut to Ramsay‘s desk as Luther disguised as a cop gain access to his personal files and finds out where he and Bobby lives. Ramsay and Karen return to the station and notice that his computer was accessed. This alerts Ramsay that Luther knows where he lives; Ramsay calls home but gets no response. Ramsay and Karen head on over to his place only to find it a wreck, Lois severely damaged and Bobby gone. As the two try to repair Lois, Ramsay answers a call from Luther demanding him to bring the rest of the templates to a construction site alone if he wants to see Bobby alive. Ramsay leaves Karen behind but she knows he’s via Lois replaying the call. Ramsay arrives at the construction site where he’s greeted by the killer robot spiders on standby mode. Ramsay goes up an elevator as his vertigo starts setting in. Ramsay gets off at the higher floors where he meets up Luther and Bobby. He tells Luther to let Bobby go and he complies; Bobby gets in the elevator and heads on down. However, Luther has programed the robot spiders to kill anyone who gets off the elevator. Ramsay shouts to Bobby to stop the elevator but the controls do not respond. As the elevator makes it to the ground floor Karen arrives entering the elevator and gets Bobby to the top of the elevator to the next floor. Luther gets rather piss and opens fire on Ramsay. He manages to avoid the smart bullets and makes it to the elevator but ends up speeding towards the very top instead down to ground floor. Ramsay looks at the elevator systematics and finds a reset button at the bottom of the elevator cart. As he about to go through an access panel on the floor, Ramsay gets some nasty company via three robot spiders. As he’s climbing on the side of the elevator, he managed to take out two of them but gets stung by the third one and ends handing on the edge of the elevator. Ramsay pulls out a live cable and takes out the third spider. He makes it to the reset button and elevator starts up again. The elevator stops at the floor where Luther is waiting on Ramsay. He has Ramsay at gunpoint but he starts up the elevator while grabbing Luther’s leg. As the elevator speeds to the ground, Ramsay slams the stop button bringing the elevator to hard stop causing Luther to fall to the ground with the awaiting spiders. Luther is covered and stung to death by the killer robot spiders. The film ends with Ramsay reunited with Bobby and just to bring this up because the film brings it up a few times Ramsay and Karen began to share feelings for each other.

My Final Verdict: The words fun, intense and entertaining seems to describe this film enough. The use of robots in commonplaces is quite practical and rather compliant it's believable. The music is freaking awesome; each score is not some average techno music you find at a night club. Each music score’s got heart in their tone. Making most of the scenes feel rather intense; of course that’s the kind of style of composing you expect from Jerry Goldsmith. And oh another good example of the man’s works Total Recall. Do I have to explain how badass Gene Simmons is; he’s like the 80s Tom Hiddleston.

So that’s one sci-fi film but I can still taste the stagnation of The Host in my brain. So let’s see if the next review Eve of Destruction will fix that problem; stay tuned.

The Film Vindicator Review: The Host

Hey everyone welcome to a new year and a new review. The Host is an adaption of a novel written by the same author that brought us Sparkly Vampires. In Stephenie Meyer’s own words The Host is “science fiction for people who hate science fiction. Sniff sniff sniff sniff….sniff sniff…..sniff sniff sniff. You smell that? That’s the foul stench of bullshit coming from this woman. You’re probably wondering why am I reviewing The Host first and not Twilight? Well as much I want to review Twilight it’s been reviewed to death by many many reviewers so I really don’t see a reason for me to review the series. What can I possibly say about the series that’s already been said by the reviewers before me? So instead I might as well review this film while it’s still recent and still has that “rip this film a new asshole” smell. Although I will do something different with Twilight; instead of a review I may do an analysis. A deconstruction of what is just systematically wrong with the series and actually point out a few positives that would’ve helped the series not to be so terrible. But this deconstruction is somewhere down the road so be on the lookout for it in the future.

We open on a narration that Earth is at peace; no more hunger, no more violence, and the environment has healed itself. But the narration continues that Earth is no longer our own that we’ve been invaded by an alien race Souls. Occupying the bodies of almost every human on the planet and the remaining humans are on the run. OK I gotta stop there for a moment just how exactly did the aliens invade us? The film never SHOW us how it all went down we’re just taking the film’s word for it. And keep this in mind the aliens in question are these tiny centipede-like creatures of light and don’t have any physical bodies before they came to Earth. So how did they manage to takeover humanity so sufficiently with no difficulty and on a worldwide scale? If I have to answer I would say humanity was made of stupid on that day. As the narration ends we cut to Melanie Stryder (played by Saoirse Ronan) being cornered by the occupied host Souls. She knocks a few of them and runs away; she heads upstairs as the OHSs give chase. She runs into a room and jumps through a window falling to her “death”. Her body is taken to a facility where later one of them OHS healers discovered that Melanie is still alive and has suffered no internal injuries. OK she fell at a pretty high up from a window and somehow she’s still alive with no injuries. Well at that height it’s possible you can survive through it but to fall from high up and live with NO INJURIES that’s a whole other can of bullshit. And when the film doesn’t know how Melanie is magically still alive you’re putting your own foot so far in your mouth that you’re shitting out your toenails. Anyway the OHSs healers prep Melanie for Soul implantation. One of the healers cuts a small slit at the back of Melanie’s neck then the healer opens a small capsule containing a Soul. The Soul then enters Melanie’s neck as she awakes but not as Melanie any more. The Soul now calling “herself” Wanderer has full control of the host body…..or so she thought. Later her in room Wanderer is taken comfort with her new body until suddenly she hears Melanie in her head apparently Melanie’s conscious is still alive.

Now I’m going ahead and bitch about this so that we I come to it later I won’t linger on it too much. Remember that show Jekyll where the character Tom Jackman is the descendent of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde therefore he has the Hyde personality as well. Anyway as the series progresses we see Tom struggling against Hyde. And I mean we really see Tom struggling against Hyde. The interaction between Tom and Hyde was done by visually means despite being the same person; making the dynamics between the two more believable and well done. Where as in this film with Melanie and Wanderer they act like five year olds in a pissing contest for the last piece of cake. Only to have the parents take away that said cake just to get them to shut up. That’s the basic dynamic between these two and it’s really pathetic. Not to mention how Melanie interacts via voiceovers can get annoying almost immediately. Wanderer is approached by The Seeker (played by Diane Kruger) who wants to find the human resistance which Melanie is a part of that resistance. Resistance, rebels you keep using those words I do not think they mean of what this film thinks they mean. I’ll explain what I mean later. Accessing Melanie’s memories Wanderer tells The Seeker about Melanie; how she, her brother Jamie (played by Chandler Canterbury) and their father escaped the initial colonization. Her family was hiding at a house near a pier where her father was found by other Seekers but he put a bullet in his head before being captured. Melanie and Jamie were hiding under the pier when it happened. Melanie tries to stop Wanderer from saying Jamie’s name to the Seeker but still does so. Cut to nighttime as Wanderer is asleep and apparently seeing into Melanie’s memories which triggers a flashback. Melanie is in a house stealing food from the refrigerator until she’s snuck up from behind by a human Jared Howe (played by Max Irons). Surprised to find another human Jared kisses her…..yeah you can already guess where this is going. Melanie breaks free runs off but Jared catches up to her and tackles her down. The flashback ends with Jared convinces Melanie that he’s human and offers her a ride back to Jamie. The next day Wanderer shows the Seeker a picture of Jared she drew after the dream she had. As she access Melanie’s memory again this triggers another flashback. Melanie and Jamie are staying with Jared as they’re staying at an abandon house where they not much hiding but rather frolicking around. You know in most alien invasion films humans usually hide away until things blow over or until the good guys win whichever comes first. But these guys don’t seem to be worry about things like the aliens having surveillance drones, spy satellites or tracking systems. Nope just hang around outside with no worries at all. Thankful for them and the other humans the aliens are just as equally stupid; more on that later. Continuing the flashback miles away from their home Jared spots a few Seekers who are scouting the place. Leaving them no choice but to pack up and head to their uncle Jeb; Melanie and the others hide at an old hotel for the night. Jared goes off to get supply while Melanie and Jamie stay behind. Moments later Seekers show up searching for the two; Melanie tells Jamie to stay hidden as she lures them away. This leads up to the scene from the beginning where she runs from Seekers and jumps to her death and flashback ends.

The Seeker asked for more info but Wanderer comes up with nothing and the Seeker leaves. Wanderer gets an image of a mountain range and starts drawing it down. Melanie pleads for her to get rid of the drawing and without any hesitation Wanderer complies. Cut to Wanderer standing near a lake until she’s approached by the Seeker again; she continues asking Wanderer where the resistance are but Melanie tells her to say nothing and she complies. Wanderer is really compliant isn’t she? Not even once trying to give any protest on Melanie just does as she says almost immediately. As if this character has no ounce of thought or will of her own; almost reminds me of someone. The Seeker informs her on a possible sighting of Jared and is in the process of locating him. This gets Melanie upset that has her temporarily regain control of her body and tries to strangle Seeker. Seeker quickly counters and incapacitates her. Later after Wanderer recovers Seeker is convinced that the host is too resistant and Wanderer will be implanted into more compatible one. As for Melanie, Seeker will inhibit her body, access her memories and locate the resistance. Melanie doesn’t want that to happen and convinces Wanderer to escape the facility. After Wanderer is locked in her room, Melanie instructs her to prop a chair under the doorknob and to go out the window. Wanderer refuses to jump off the balcony and into a fountain below but Melanie temporarily takes control again and jumps off the balcony. You’re probably asking does these temporary regains of Melanie lead up to anything. Short answer no, long answer will be given later. Wanderer swims out of the fountain and escapes the facility; she persuades an OHS to lend her his car and drives away. On the road Wanderer wants to head to Fort Worth to find a Healer to help them. However, being distracted by Melanie’s memory of her and Jared has them driving the opposite direction. Wanderer turns the car around but Melanie causes her to roll the car over and crash off road. Wanderer gets out of the car with no choice but to listen to Melanie and starts walking to wherever Jamie and Jared are. Back at the facility Seeker finds the torn up mountain drawing and uses (what I can identify) Google Maps Advance and locates the mountain range. And hell if I know where this mountain area is. Seriously this is one of many film’s problem it doesn’t give out any specific geographic location of where everything is. In one scene there’s the OHS facility, in another scene there’s this swamp area, in another scene there’s house in the middle of some field. Just where the hell is everything? The film pads out with Wanderer/Melanie walking in some desert looking Jeb’s cabin. So Melanie’s plan was to find this cabin in the middle of god knows where this desert is. And who the hell lives in a cabin in a desert you’re putting yourself in deep shit if anything goes wrong. Exhausted from walking in a desert Wanderer/Melanie passed out under a tree until later they are found by Jeb (played by William Hurt) and his group. Jeb is overjoyed of finding Melanie but soon to be shocked to see her as an OHS. One of the group members Kyle (played by Boyd Holbrook) is about to kill Wanderer but Jeb stops him at gunpoint. The rest of the group including Melanie’s aunt Maggie (played by Frances Fisher) are not at all pleased of Jeb sparring Wanderer. I just don’t get this film’s logic; Jeb’s group has a good reason to kill Wanderer. I mean what’s to stop her from giving away their location to other OHSs? How does Jeb know she won’t give him false info that would get them captured? I understand she his flesh and blood but most films that I’m familiar when a relative or love one turns into a vampire, zombies or possessed by some evil entity. You’re left with no choice but to put that relative or love one to rest because otherwise you’re screwing yourself and everyone else over. And not to mention the group should have kill Jeb just by his sheer stupidity that’s literally putting them in danger. This is just heavy handed tripe of telling us that she’s the main character and she has to live. Also this is just a lazy way to avoid any conflict build up or following up on that conflict.

Jeb has her blindfolded the group takes her to some type of cave inside a mountain. Wanderer sees Jared and Melanie calls out to him but aside from the audience only Wanderer can hear her. Wanderer walks towards Jared but he slaps causes her to fall down and hits her head on rock. Later she’s recovers in a holding area as Jared is on guard. Kyle and two other men show up promptly to kill Wanderer but Jared refuses to let them do so. A fight breaks out between Jared and Kyle; he calls for Ian (played by Jake Abel) to go kill Wanderer. Ian starts strangling her but Jeb fires his shotgun ending the fight. Jeb sets the record straight that Wanderer is off limits and that no one shouldn’t kill each other. Kyle and the two men disagree with this but they walked away. OK if a bunch of assholes are more rational and concern than the guy in charged you know you’re doing something wrong. And again his own stupidity is putting everyone in danger; sure we the audience know that Wanderer is actually no threat to no one. But it’s not like these people know that so in their defense it doesn’t hurt to be a little cautious. A little bit later Wanderer sees Jamie watching her; the two are talking as Jeb whose on guard listens in. Jamie wants to know what became of Melanie; she response that took her life in order to protect him and Jared. They continue talking until Jared walks in telling Jamie to stay away from “it”. Jeb goes off to watch over Jamie as Jared and Ian stand guard. Ian displays this abrupt keel turn (giving that earlier he was suspicious of Wanderer) is convinced that she’s not a threat while Jared remains cautious. Oh don’t worry more characters will display randomly abrupt keel turns later on. Jared, Kyle and a few of the humans go off in trucks to look for supplies. Meanwhile Jeb gives Wanderer a tour of the cave here’s where the film’s logic falls on its ass again. Jeb deduced that Wanderer wasn’t sent by the Seekers to find this place but instead escaped from the Seekers. Then he deduces that Melanie is still alive somewhere within Wanderer which is he believes that she cares for Jared and Jamie. Sherlock Holmes would call bullshit on this guy’s ability of deduction. While he is correct that Wanderer wasn’t sent by the Seeker but figuring out that Melanie is still alive….again Sherlock Holmes bullshit. Jeb calls for Jamie to watch over Wanderer; Jamie takes her to look at some glowworms and ask her if Melanie is still alive. Wanderer answers and Jamie is now relieved. Cut to a store (which literally says store on the front) where Jared and the others are stealing supplies to bring back to the cave. They load up and about to head out but are approached by an OHS. Jared Knocks him out, ties him up and puts him in the truck. Back at the cave Jeb has Wanderer working in a wheat field with the other humans; most of them are unease by her presence except for Ian. The two are looking at each other which make Melanie disgusted by this. Ian even offers water to Wanderer and she accepts which makes Melanie even more disgusted. She even goes out of her way of reminding Wanderer that he tried to kill her. Wow brownie points for pointing out Ian’s out of nowhere keel turn film.

Anyway cut to some Seekers that have been searching for Wanderer in the hope to find the human resistance. A Seeker helicopter spots one of the trucks and gives chase while other seekers converged in their silver cars. So these aliens who have achieved interstellar space travel, have advanced technology and have achieved a complete earth renewal. Yet when finding unoccupied humans their best way to do so is just go wondering around in silver choppers, cars and motorcycles and just hope for the best to find some humans just out and about for some reason. Not saying this film is dumber than Twilight but it’s REALLY getting there. The Seekers are chasing down the trunk while in the second truck Jared and Kyle are keeping their distance so they won’t get noticed. The first truck gets cornered so the human drivers decided to kill themselves by crashing into a concrete barrier to avoid being occupied. Jared and Kyle drive away but are spotted by (Kruger) Seeker. Soon after Jared and Kyle are being pursued by a Seeker Jared slams on the brakes causing the Seeker to crash at the back end of the truck. Jared goes off to put the Seeker in truck but (Kruger) Seeker shows up. She picks up a gun that Kyle dropped during the crash while Jared quickly gets back into the truck. She open fires but accidently shoots the Seeker dead as Jared and Kyle make their escape. Back at the cave Wanderer is having a conversion with some of the other humans until Jared arrives. He takes Jeb’s gun and is about to shoot her Jamie stops him telling him that if he kills Wanderer he’ll also kill Melanie. Jared does not believe this but he gives the gun back to Jeb and leaves. Wanderer wants to go back to her cell but Ian offers her to stay at his room. She accepts but she’s rather confused (and she’s not the only one who’s confused) by Ian’s sudden kindness towards her. Whatever Ian’s reason for being so friendly to Wanderer out of nowhere I can assume that it’s the film’s poor writing. Later Jared arrives to Ian’s place wanting to talk to Wanderer; not all too sure if Melanie is still alive Jared proceeds to kiss Wanderer. Melanie is in shock of what Jared is doing and demands Wanderer to stop. She continues pleading until once again regaining control long enough to punch Jared. This somehow convinces him that Melanie is still alive and still loves her as Wanderer leaves the room. Later Wanderer is by herself when Kyle is calling out to her; apparently Melanie has a spider sense and tells her to hide. Kyle doesn’t see her and moves on; Wanderer makes a run for it but is caught by Kyle. He tries to throw her in a nearby whirlpool but she tries to fight back. During the struggle Kyle hits his head on a wall and is about to fall in but Wanderer grabs him trying to pull him back up. I would bitch about it or ask why Wanderer is saving him but Melanie is doing the job for me. And when a film points the flaws it has the filmmaker REALLY needs to step back and think. That is assuming that the filmmaker in question did any actual thinking when making this film. Ian comes soon after she called for help; they managed to pull him out of the whirlpool. Afterwards Wanderer is being asked by Jeb of what happened but she lied, saying that Kyle slipped. However, Ian figures it out that Kyle tried to kill her; Jeb threatens Kyle to stay away from Wanderer.

A little bit later after Jared goes for supplies with Kyle, Ian approaches Wanderer asking her to come walk with him. I know I’m not gonna get a straight sane answer but it’s worth asking anyway. What possibly could Wanderer have done that has Ian going all lovey-dovey on her? Seriously what had she done? Not going into detail just yet she has literally done nothing as a character to prove her worth to anyone. Let alone to have some random human falling in love with her out of nowhere. Cut to Ian and Wanderer sitting outside the two start sharing feeling for each other while Melanie is being against this matter. The two began kissing but Melanie threatens Wanderer that she’ll hurt Ian and so she stops. You might be saying that Melanie is being a bitch and you are right but in her defense it’s still her body. Granted she’s not in control at the moment but consciously she’s still alive and aware of what’s going on. Back in the cave Wanderer goes to Jamie asking where everyone is. Jamie response that he doesn’t know but Melanie senses that he’s lying. Wanderer walks off only to wait for Jamie to go off to his room. She goes to see the Doc (played by Scott Lawrence) in the infirmary but is completely shocked to see dead Souls after being taken out of the humans who now lay dead. Wanderer runs off in anger and spends the next few days in her cell. She’s approached by Jeb trying to justify what they were doing was survival though he still feels sorry for what they’ve done. He then tells her that Jamie is severely hurt. Earlier during a harvest Jamie was distracted by a passing Seeker helicopter and ended up cutting himself in the leg. Now the cut has gotten infected and due to the Souls destroying all human medicines it can’t be treated and Jamie may die. Wanderer suggests to Ian that they should go to a Soul facility and get the medicine Jamie needs. At the Soul facility Wanderer cuts herself to be treated so she can steal some meds. This plan works and Wanderer leaves with the meds along with a Soul capsule. They hurried back to the cave in time to heal Jamie. Cut to (Kruger) Seeker still searching for the cave. You know those surveillance drones, spy satellites and tracking systems I’ve mentioned would make a far better idea instead of aimlessly driving around in a desert. Cut to the Store where Wanderer is getting supplies this time not relying on stealing. Making it easy for her to literally walk out of the Store with no problems; then she, Ian and Jared load up the supplies and head back to the cave. Upon making their return they find a dead body of a human who was scouting the area. The three of them are ambushed by the armed (Kruger) Seeker but gets shot by Jeb. Later they have her healed and put in a cell where Wanderer wishes to talk to her alone. (Kruger) Seeker is confident that other Seekers will her and the cave but Wanderer has other plans to keep the cave safe. Wanderer approaches Doc telling him there’s a proper way to remove the Souls without killing the hosts. In exchange with this information Doc has to promise that no Soul won’t come to harm and that he removes Wanderer out of Melanie. Doc agrees. A little bit later they have (Kruger) Seeker ready for Soul extraction. After Doc slits an open at the back of her neck Wanderer demonstrates to not forceful remove the Soul but to let it remove itself. Now I would say that’s clever but I’m my mind is too busy screaming bullshit right now.

I mean none of the humans couldn’t figure it out; it’s really that simply and no one figures it out. And I wouldn’t put it as a “secret” as Wanderer puts it more like trial and error and common sense. Anyway Wanderer takes the Soul and placed it in the capsule when later it’s taken to Soul facility and sent off into space. With the Seeker Soul now gone the host (named Lacey) is free and in control. Wanderer gathers Jeb, Jared, Ian, and Doc telling them that she wishes to be removed of a Melanie and go back into space. Now of course everyone is at a disagreement with her choice including Melanie. As much as I wanna bitch about everyone’s out of place concerns for Wanderer but I’m saving my bitchy mode for the main event. Later Wanderer is ready to be extracted and sent back into space but Melanie knows the truth Wanderer wants to die rather than taking over another life. Despite her disgust towards Wanderer she finally accepts her and doesn’t want her to die. This makes Wanderer very happy and accepts her fate with no regrets. Now with all bullshit aside despite their differences (or the lack there of) this is an honest to god moving scene. HOWEVER, the following scene decides to ruin all of that with a giant throbbing middle finger to the brain. Cut to a POV of Wanderer waking up in a new body (played by Emily Browning) despite her protest of taking another life. However, while she was out for month Jeb and the others have been removing Souls from the hosts successfully. But the host in question started dying after the Soul removal so they decided to place her in that body to give it life. Bitchy Mode ACTIVATE! Now this was a very nice gesture for them to do this BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT in doing so the previous scenes where Melanie and Wanderer set aside their differences and had a rather lovely closure to Wanderer’s character. WAS EASILY REDUCED TO NOTHING MORE BUT POINTLESS FALSE TENSION! AND NOW THIS FILM IS DUMBER THAN TWILIGHT! This film basically uses the same cop out bullshit from Breaking Dawn part Two. I can understand to some extent why Wanderer is so important to these people. But why ruin such a mood scene for the sake of keeping her around with a completely out of nowhere alternative? I call bullshit that they coincidently found the ONE host that was dying and decided to just slap her in to it without a single consent from Wanderer. I guess they really wanted to justify this action without feeling guilty with the possibility that they may have taken someone’s live. And of course this pleases Ian very much because heaven forbid if he doesn’t have a piece of alien ass to bring home…….fucker. Cut to months later in wherever the fuck they are as Melanie, Jared, Wanderer and Ian are just driving around until they are stopped by Seekers. They get out of the car to be inspected by one Seeker and to his surprise find one them to be a Soul. Soon after it’s revealed that the rest of the Seeker aren’t really Seekers but human survivors and the Seeker in question is on their side. I should go back to my Bitchy Mode but this film is already fucking over so I get to it in my final verdict.

My Final Verdict: Instead of the usual straight forward thoughts on this film I’ll be giving out three detailed points of how it has actual potential but embarrassingly falls on its ass.

1.Characters: While Twilight would constantly bullshits the audience to believing that Bella Swan is so strong, caring and selfless but in reality her actions completely contradicts her in every way. Melanie Stryder actually displays these traits without being such a ham handed character; when she’s first introduced she’s not some depressed antisocial with no aim or goal in her life. She actually has concerns for the people in her life. So much so that she’s willing to kill herself in order to protect her family. Where’s this level of concern and brass balls when it comes to Bella? Short answer nowhere. Now unfortunately upon having her body taken over by Wanderer, Melanie was reduced to an annoying voiceover. Do I have to mention Jekyll again? I’ve seen practical dual roles done basically but are well done whereas here the dual role is so basic it’s downright lazy. And this is not even the fault of the actress Saoirse Ronan. I’m sure she’s a great actress but it feels like they weren’t even trying to create the mental illusion of two conflicting characters in one body. Not to mention Saoirse is given two characters with the most weakest of dynamics. Nothing against Wanderer but she’s by far the blankest slated character that Stephenie Meyer has ever created. I mean she’s virtually unnoticeable as a main character she’s freaking invisible. At no point in the film does she show any kind of growth that didn’t felt forced on to the audience. It’s nice for her to show concerns and sympathy for the humans but it keeps leading up to the question why? Why up to this point does she care for the humans after taken over dozens of other alien races? The only reason why she feels so sorry for the humans is because Melanie completely guilt riddens her with her memories. Not once does Wanderer display or prove any self-development just bluntly has other characters do the development for her. She literally has no character motivation and even if she has they’re completely shallow. The Ian character was just a waste of space through the whole film. At no point do we know anything about this guy; at least with Jared we know a little about but it’s enough to understand his hatred and distrust towards Wanderer. But with Ian he’s just some guy with a random hard on for Wanderer his only character motivation are as follows. “Oh wow a sexy alien; I wanna go fuck it for no reason at all.” Captain Jack Harkness has better sex motivations than this ET raping twerp.

2.The World of The Host: The film sets up as this post-invasion story that I was honestly invested for the most part. Such as how the aliens have made a stable society instead of the usual film cliché of aliens taking over the world. This would have driven the story much better if it was focus on the conflict of the humans being replaced by the Souls that were going on in the film. But I feel that they explored this conflict halfway. (Kruger) Seeker keeps talking about resistance and rebellions from the humans but through the whole film I didn’t see no such thing. Sure a few humans had guns but they’re not exactly at the WOLVERINES level of resistance they were just a bunch people trying to live on. At one point in the film there’s a confusing assumption of who’s in the right and who’s in wrong. You have the humans stating that the Souls are evil while they do evil things just as equally. Another plot-point that isn’t fully explored is when it’s established that the occupied host can somehow resist the Soul. The film never explains why this is possible and also raises the question. If this is recurring problem why the Souls aren’t doing anything to fix it? Why not erase the human consciousness out of the bodies? Not only that the film never explores the possible tension of Melanie eventually overpowers Wanderer and regain control completely. And lastly how a few Souls can turn to the side of the humans on whim felt completely shallow. This could’ve easily been one of the focal points of the film if it wasn’t swept under the rug for the sake of an obvious copy-and-pasted SMeyer love story that doesn’t even try to carry the entirety of the story.

3.Overall: This film had a good story concept-wise but in its overall execution The Host is unbalanced. As I stated before most of the plot-points are thrown under the rug for the sake of SMeyer’s cookie cutter ham fisted love story. Rendering most of these plot-points completely unfocused upon. The characters range from decent to sexually driven moron(s) and the overall growth of the story feels deeply underplay.

I got a feeling I have more to say but I’m completely spent I just wanna be done with this film. The film obviously leaves itself open for a sequel but given that it’s not on the same level of success as Twilight. Chances of a sequel are not too promising and let’s pray to god that it stays that way. However, if any slim chance of a sequel I’ll be there to smite the abomination with an all righteous fury…..and Red Lantern Rage. I think I need to look into some REAL sci-fi films just to get the taste of this film out of my brain. So stay tuned next time as we look into one of my personal favorites Runaway.

New Years Eve Review 2013

Well as 2013 is coming to a close I'll just give an overall review of films I've seen this year.

World's End: My god the humor is flipping endlessly hilarious, just non-stop comedy at its best.

Elysium: It was a fun film was pretty much watching a video game movie just less made of stupid.

The Wolverine: It was pretty good the fight scenes are better and the story wasn't a slapped together glob of plotholes.

Pacific Rim: I'll put it like this....Gundam, Macross, Voltron.....MAKE THESE FILMS HAPPEN! If Guillermo Del Toro can get giant robots right then just maybe there is hope.

This Is The End: It's not bad really it's one of those "shut off your brain" films. Most of the comedy in it are pretty funny and you really don't wanna mess with a fire ax wielding Emma Watson. Just throwing that out there.

Iron Man 3: Worth watching however, I think The Mandarin really didn't need to be in the film given how the film actually plays out differently from the trailer. But I understand why the film went this way so I'm not that disappointed, surprised and confused but not disappointed. And Also Pepper Potts is a bad ass so there's that to forward to.

Oblivion: It's rather a good looking film.

Evil Dead 2013: Despite my personal protest I went to see it and........................it's really good........it didn't piss me off I enjoy it. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW GUYS?

G.I. Joe Retaliation:.....FRAKING A, it's like they took the flaws from the first movie and improved them. As much as I like the first movie this one is AWESOME.

Man of Steel: I feel I owe this film an apology. I have no words of how amazing Man of Steel, Zach Snyder in his own prerogative does his best representation of Superman. Where as Superman Returns fails because of how Bryan Singer tries to emulate what Richard Donner did.

The Film Vindicator Review: Bones

And welcome back everyone let’s take a look at Bones. Open with a man running away from a dog hauling ass back to his place. The man makes it to his place heading up stairs; armed with a rifle (which looks more like a bb gun) the man fires at the dog but doesn’t fazes it at all. Holy crap it’s Zuul. Cut to two guys arriving in front of a house for a drug deal. They meet up with two other guys and are told to look for the drugs behind a loose brick at the side of the house. As soon as they found the drugs they hear their car alarm go off and quickly run back but are spotted by the cops. The two decided to run into the house trying to hide from them. One cop goes in after them but the other cop being very insist keeps telling him there’s no one in the house and the two leave. Believing that they’re now safe, the two guys look around the place until one of them is attacked and bitten by the “Zuul” dog. Not wanting to hang around any longer, the two were about leave until they saw a dark shadow appearing on wall. The make a run towards the door and made it on the front porch; the man with the rifle sees them out the window trying to warn them to get away from the house. They ignore his warning and the two get a ZUUL MOTHERFUCKERS ZUUL as they are drag back into house and are mauled to death. Cut to next day we’re introduced to Patrick Peet (played by Khalil Kain), his step-sister Tia Peet (played by Katharine Isabelle), his brother Bill Peet (played by Merwin Mondesir) and Maurice (played by Sean Amsing) who have arrived at Zuul’s house. Apparently they want to start an indie nightclub at the obviously haunted house. Yeah $50 bucks saying that things are gonna go bat shit for these guys. It turns out this house use to belong to a Jimmy Bones which the name sounds familiar to Patrick. Apparently Jimmy Bones was some big neighborhood heart of gold person back in the 70s. They continue inspecting the house; Patrick finds the furnace and switches it on. Tia is looking around the house and gets spooked by the Zuul dog; she feeds it with a burger and we see a ghostly POV zooming to a locked door in the basement. And behind the locked door we zoom to a shallow grave; later the teens are leaving the house along with the Zuul dog which Tia names it Bones. The man with the rifle yells out the window warning the teens to shoot the dog. Of course they completely ignore his warning and are about to head out; they’re approached by some woman named Pearl (played by Pam Grier) and her daughter Cynthia (played by Bianca Lawson) warning them not to feed the dog. Saying something that some hungers can’t be satisfied and the dog will only get even hungrier. And with that Patrick and Maurice decided to help woman and daughter with their groceries. OK some crazy comes up to you and says crazy things to you and your first reaction is to help with the groceries. Kind of a stalker move if you ask me besides they’re only carrying three small bags it’s not like they’re carrying armfuls of groceries. Patrick seems to look familiar to the woman and she asks him if he was from the neighborhood. Patrick tells her that he was born in the neighborhood but him and his father moved out when his mother died. Cut to Patrick and the others return to their parents’ house where we’re introduced to their father Jeremiah Peet (played by Clifton Powell) who gets spooked by the dog when Tia calls it by its name. This triggers Jeremiah to have a flashback where he and Jimmy Bones were talking about some deal that would move them to the top. But Jimmy doesn’t want that and prefers to stay with the neighborhood. The flashback ends with Jeremiah looking at an officer Lupovich (played by Michael T. Weiss) as we transition to present day Lupovich talking to Eddie Mack (played by Ricky Harris). They make their business deal and Lupovich leaves but soon stops when Eddie asked why Jeremiah sold Jimmy’s house.

Cut to Jeremiah’s place where he gets a knock on the door and it’s Lupovich. Lupovich asked why he sold Jimmy’s house but Jeremiah wasn’t aware that the house was bought. Lupovich is worried but Jeremiah is confident that no one won’t find anything that would trace back to them. The next day we see the teens renovating the house; Patrick is approached by Cynthia and the two of them start connecting. Cut to Pearl’s place where she’s talking to Cynthia telling her to stay away the house. Pearl gets a flashback to where she and Jimmy was a couple; Pearl reads Jimmy’s palms and notice a line crossing his lifeline. Indicating that something bad may happen to Jimmy and ask him not to go to the meeting with Jeremiah but he refuses to listen and the flashback ends. Later despite her mother’s warning Cynthia returns to the house; Patrick and the others find a small pool of blood. Hope it’s not Chris’s blood. They go to the basement to check the plumbing only to find blood dripping out of a pipe. Watch Evil Dead much? They found the locked door which leads further down after they open it; they come upon nothing until the Zuul dog uncovers the remains of Jimmy Bones. Tia wants to call the police but the others wish to wait until after their nightclub premieres otherwise they won’t get the permit if they call the cops. Maurice plays the douchebag card by taking Jimmy’s ring from his literally cold dead hand. Cut to Patrick and Cynthia connecting further until they start making out until Cynthia wanted to stop. Cut back to Pearl’s place where she’s having a séance with her customers. Meanwhile Cynthia is sleeping in one of the rooms at Jimmy’s house; a figure enters the room sleeping next to Cynthia while she thinks it’s Patrick. The figure starts groping Cynthia until she starts feeling uncomfortable; sudden she’s being smothered by bed sheets. Meanwhile Pearl breaks into a seizure seeing mental images; she finally snaps out while Cynthia breaks free from the bed sheets. Pearl arrives at the house to get Cynthia warning the teens one last time to get out. Cut to next day the teens have completed the renovation and are ready to open their nightclub Illbient. Patrick brings over his father to show him the nightclub; upon arriving Jeremiah is bothered that his son brought the same house he kept under wraps. He’s not all please of what Patrick is doing which is trying to bring a positive light to his father’s old neighborhood. They continue arguing until Jeremiah spots Pearl and the man with the rifle which triggers another flashback. In the flashback Jimmy is at the meeting with Jeremiah, Eddie and Lupovich with Shotgun (played by Ronald Selmour) (the man with the rifle) as Jimmy’s bodyguard. Jeremiah and the others want to bring in drugs in the neighborhood to make big money but Jimmy doesn’t want drugs come ruining the neighborhood so he refuses the offer. Eddie and Lupovich don’t agree with Jimmy’s decision and holds him and and Shotgun at gunpoint. They force Jimmy to try out they drug ending up getting really high for a first timer. Soon after Pearl arrives, Jimmy tries to fight them off with his switchblade but gets shot by Lupovich then he and Eddie both shoots him. Lupovich being a dirty cop devise a plan for all of them to stab him; make look like self-defense. Eddie and Jeremiah stabbed Jimmy with his own switchblade; Lupovich forces Shotgun to stab him. Lupovich then forces Pearl to stab Jimmy she hesitates but Jimmy lunges on to his knife and dies. Lupovich rips off Pearl’s bloody dress and has it buried along with Jimmy Bones. Cut back to present time as the Illbient open and booming; Cynthia shows up and she and Patrick started dancing together. Maurice is on stage as the club’s DJ until he spots a beautiful woman; he asked Bill to take over so he can handle some business. Maurice finds her in a room only to get a ZUUL MOTHERFUCKER ZUUL surprise as the woman turns into the Zuul dog and chows down on him. As he’s being eaten alive his flesh is being transfer to Jimmy’s retains reconstructing itself. Apparently this film watches Hellraiser as well. Anyway cut to Bill calling for Patrick to go check on Maurice; Patrick goes looking for him but finds Maurice dead. Patrick makes a run for it but gets knock down by the Zuul dog. The Zuul dog then pukes maggots all over Patrick, turns into vapor then goes enter the reconstructed body of Jimmy Bones. Jimmy Bones of Earth RISE……had to say it. Back on the dance floor maggots are raining from ceiling causing people to panic and run out of the club. Jimmy puts the flames out in the furnace, breaks light bulb then flips a light switch causing a gas explosion. Amongst the chaos Patrick runs back downstairs and heads out of the house along with Cynthia, Bill and Tia. Jimmy heads to the room where Maurice got eaten and kindly takes back his ring. Hey karma fairy nice to see you again. Outside as the house burns down Pearl stands in shock as she sees the now relived Jimmy before he disappears.

Back at Pearl’s she revealed to Cynthia that Jimmy Bones is her father and you know the drill insert your own Empire Strikes Back joke here. Later at Shotgun’s place he’s visited by Jimmy whose very upset that Shotgun didn’t died with him or died trying. Shotgun shoots him but gets his throat cut and bleeds to death as Jimmy sings to him. Cut to Eddie’s place where he’s done having sex with a hooker; the hooker walks off and Eddie later follows but finds her dead in a garbage can. Eddie is confronted by Jimmy and starts shooting but with no affect. Jimmy telekinetically throws mirror shards at Eddie pinning him against the wall then cuts he head off. This leads up to a rather hilarious scene of Jimmy carrying the talking head of Eddie Mack. Meanwhile Lupovich gets a call from “Eddie” to meet him at some location; Lupovich goes to this location and finds a pile of drugs. He is confronted by Jimmy and with a sense of irony gets forced to smoke a drug and his mouth is sealed shut. Jimmy places Lupovich on a hook starts gutting him like an overweight fish. Cut to Pearl and Cynthia arriving at Jeremiah trying to warn him but they arrive too late as Jeremiah is taken by Jimmy. Jeremiah and the talking heads of Eddie and Lupovich are taken to Jimmy’s house which became some gateway to a city of the dead since his death. One at a time Jimmy throws Jeremiah, Eddie and Lupovich into this gateway. Patrick, Cynthia, Pearl and Bill show up at Jimmy’s house; Pearl believes that Jimmy’s blood is a conduit that’s keeping him alive and that getting rid of the blood will kill him. They enter through the cellar door to where Jimmy’s remains are buried only to find it missing along with Pearl’s blood stained dress. An elevator comes down to the cellar and Pearl enters on in being separated from Patrick and the others. She ends up in the same room where Jimmy died as he awaits for her. Patrick and the others climb up the elevator shaft and made it to the first floor of the house which looks more like Satan’s TARDIS. They head upstairs and come across “Maurice”; Bill follows “Maurice” while Patrick and Cynthia just stand there. Hey Patrick you know Maurice is dead right? And I’m pretty sure Bill knows that he’s dead I mean you did told him right? Even Cynthia knows this as she just said “that’s not Maurice”. So instead of standing there like idiots how about you two go stop him. No…..you’re not gonna stop him Patrick you just gonna let your own brother go off and get killed. OK….asshole. And like so Bill dies by being torn apart by ghostly figures as Patrick and Cynthia run off trying to save him. Yeah assholes you’re a little late to even give two shits about your own flesh and blood. When they made it to where Jimmy and Pearl are Cynthia goes to join her family. Patrick is about to attack Jimmy but ends up in a stranglehold by Jimmy. Pearl while in the bloody dress snaps out of her trace grabs a candle and sets herself on fire. Jimmy lets go of Patrick and runs to embrace the burning Pearl dying together. With the bloody dress destroyed the city of the dead starts to crumble while Patrick and Cynthia make their way out of the place. The film ends with the two made it outside but only for Patrick getting a surprise as Cynthia gives an evil look and pukes maggots towards the camera.

My Final Verdict: Though this film maybe silly I wouldn’t say it’s terrible; at least it’s not as terrible as Jennifer’s Body. And at least Snoop Dogg makes some effort of being scary whereas Megan Fox from Jennifer’s Body still acts like an airhead fuckwit after she becomes a demon. The dialogues aren’t as jaded and stupid as Steel and the performance are OK at best.

Well folks as this review is over 2013 is soon to be coming to a close so I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stay tuned for 2014 as we drive into The Host and sadly I’m not referring to the 2006 South Korean one.

The Film Arsenal: The Golden Gun

Made its first and only appearance in the 1974 Bond film The Man With The Golden Gun as the perfect assassination weapon for Francisco Scaramanga (played by Christopher Lee). The Golden Gun’s appearance from the novel to the film had went through some major changes; in the novel it was just a gold-plated .45 caliber revolver that fires gold dum-dum bullets. While in the film it’s a custom built single shot gun that fires a custom made 4.2 millimeter golden dum-dum bullet. The gun itself is an assembly of four component parts which when the gun is disassemble they appear as four innocuous golden items. The pen (the gun barrel), the lighter (the slide out and breech chamber), cigarette case (the gun handle and trigger housing) and the cufflink (the gun trigger). This method of gun assembly and disassembly is perfect for evading security or unsuspecting targets. The Golden Gun may not be so threatening with its only one shot but in the hands of Scaramanga it can be an instant kill shot weapon. The Man With The Golden Gun maybe the least popular film in the franchise but it brought us one of the most unique weapons in the Bond franchise used by one of the most greatest actors of all time.

The Film Vindicator Review: Don't Say a Word

Hey everyone welcome back and Happy Thanksgiving so today we take a look at Don’t Say a Word. What….it’s got Thanksgiving in it, there’s a parade, turkey, and……other stuff. This film totally counts as a Thanksgiving film right….right SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME DAMN IT!

We open in Williamsburg, Brooklyn 1991 where five thieves are waiting outside of a bank for a certain item to arrive via armored truck. After the armored truck leaves the five thieves immediately make their move. They have the bank completely held up rather easily and two of the thieves Patrick Koster (played by Sean Bean) and Russel Maddox(played by Shawn Doyle) head straight to the vault. These guys should be thankful that they’re not in The Dark Knight otherwise they might get really screwed if a bunch of bank tellers came at them with shotguns. They’ve search for a specific safety deposit box and acquired the item they came for; a rare $10 million red gem. Russel puts the gem in the bag and gives it to Patrick; all five thieves leave the bank, split up to two groups and make their escape. As Patrick and his group are driving away he looks into the bag to find the gem not inside but just a regular jewelry. Apparently Russel made a switch back at the bank and he and his accomplice are now escaping with the gem. Cut to ten years later we’re introduced to a Dr. Nathan R. Conrad (played by Michael Douglas) who is a prominent child psychiatrist. After he calls his wife Aggie Conrad (played by Famke Janssen)(who is bedridden due to her broken leg) and his daughter Jessie Conrad (played by Skye McCole Bartusiak) he gets a page and heads to the Bridgeview Psychiatric Hospital. There he meets up with a Dr. Louis Sachs (played by Oliver Platt) who asks Nathan to examine one of his patients. An eighteen year old girl who’s been suffering Post Traumatic Stress and other mental disorders after witnessing her father’s death at age 8. And for the past ten years hasn’t been violent until now. Nathan refuses at first but Sachs convinces him to help her because otherwise she’ll be shipped off to another facility to be chained up for life. Nathan finally agrees and goes off to see the girl Elisabeth Burrows (played by Brittany Murphy). After a small examination Nathan concludes that there’s more to her than Sachs is telling. Elisabeth finally speaks before Nathan leaves the room stating “You want what they want”. Nathan asked her who’s they she’s referring to but she keeps replying “I’ll never tell” so he leaves, heading home. Cut to an old lady’s apartment as she prepares an evening snack until she hears a noise at the door. She goes to take a look only to see the locks on the door being picked from the outside. The door swings open to reveal that it’s Patrick and the two other thieves Dolen (played by Guy Torry) and Max (played by Conrad Goode). The old lady is killed by Max off screen while Patrick and Dolen setup shop. Evil bastards. Later we cut to a crime scene near bridge where we’re introduced to a detective Sandra Cassidy (played by Jennifer Esposito). Sandra checks on a dead body of an unidentified young woman apparently had been tied up judging by the marks on her wrists.

The next morning is Thanksgiving and Nathan is making breakfast; after serving Aggie her breakfast he goes to wake up Jessie but she’s not in her room. Nathan goes looking for her all over the apartment but hasn’t found her. He gets rather worry and was about to go outside but notices on the door that the chain lock has been cut. Nathan indicates that someone may have broken in and abducted Jessie; as he about to call the police his call is intercepted by Patrick. He tells Nathan that they have Jessie and will kill her if he calls the police or tells anyone. Patrick then tells him that he will be watched no matter where he goes. Nathan is informed that his patient Elisabeth has a six digit number buried in her mind and Patrick wants him to get that number from her. Nathan has until 5PM today to get Elisabeth to give him the number otherwise Patrick will kill Jessie. Having no choice Nathan complies and heads back to Bridgeview. On his way to Bridgeview he gets blocked off by a parade but was able to get a police escort all the way to the hospital. While that’s going on Nathan is being followed by one of Patrick men. Nathan gets a call from Patrick on a cellphone that was planted in the car admiring him of what he just did. Nathan asks about the context of these numbers but Patrick response that Elisabeth knows. Nathan is not so sure if he can get her to remember these numbers on a short time limit especially given her ten years of PTS but Patrick believe he can. At Bridgeview Nathan goes into Sachs’ office going through a master file on Elisabeth until Sachs shows up. Nathan explains that she’s overlaying basically she’s been mimics symptoms of other patients a “copycat schizophrenic baby” as he puts it making her virtually unreadable by other doctors. Now her PTS is very real with her father’s and the belief that someone is after her; apparently she wants to be institutionalized to stay hidden…safe. Nathan goes to talk Elisabeth again this time she’s a bit more talkative. He gives her some of Jessie’s things including a doll which Elisabeth takes interest to. While they are talking it turns out her room is wired by Patrick and his men and is now listening in. Nathan asks her about the day her father died but Elisabeth has a breakdown screaming at Nathan to leave and he does. Cut to Nathan puking in the restroom feeling defeated that he may lose his daughter. After getting a call from Patrick he looks through Elisabeth’s files more closely and finds a newspaper clipping about a little girl found wondering on Hart Island. Elisabeth was that little girl who was on the island the same day her father died. Nathan tries talking to her again; he goes on about Jessie until Elisabeth asked about her. He tells that she’s been taken by the people who are after Elisabeth and that not only he’s here to help her but needs her help. Nathan tries to persuade Elisabeth to tell him the numbers but she continues to be evasive. Nathan starts to pressure her when asking what these numbers are for; a phone number, an address, an account, a code but Elisabeth lashes out at him. Nathan has a hold of her calming her down.

A little bit later Elisabeth gets flashbacks of her and her father on Thanksgiving; the father in question is revealed to be Russel the same guy who stolen the gem from Patrick. Outside of Elisabeth’s room Nathan is approached by Sachs with a syringe fill with 500 milligrams of sodium amytal. Nathan protests to use this method on Elisabeth but Sachs insists that she may be more cooperative this way. They’re interrupted by phone call coming from Sachs which Nathan recognizes the ring tone. Sachs hesitates to answer the phone but Nathan tells him to answer. Sachs pulls out the phone from his pocket it’s the same phone that Nathan has revealing that Sachs is under Patrick’s forceful employed. Nathan snatches the syringe and places it towards Sachs’ neck telling him to response to Patrick that everything is OK and he’s going to plan b; Sachs complies. After Sachs hangs up the phone Nathan demands why he’s doing this and Sachs replies that Patrick has his girlfriend Sarah. He says Patrick will kill her if he doesn’t get this number for him. Sachs is being called to his office to talk to a cop; Nathan tells him to keep his cool and try to get rid of the cop. Sachs goes to his office where detective Sandra is waiting for him. She asks a few questions about a young woman named Sarah (the dead woman at the morgue and Sachs’ girlfriend). He denies even knowing Sarah at all until Sandra shows him pictures of her including a picture of her on a slab at the morgue. Sachs is shocked that she’s dead and that Patrick had lied to him. Sandra continues to question Sachs showing profile pictures of Patrick and the other thieves. Still in shock and angry Sachs tells her that he and Patrick had a deal to get the number before 5PM and he’ll let Sarah go. But apparently Sachs didn’t know that Sarah was already dead. We’re cutting back to the thieves but I want to summarize something first in early scenes we see Jessie talking to one of the thieves Max. Eventually Max slowly warms up to Jessie over time; meanwhile she scoops out the room she’s in realizing they’re in an apartment below her parents’. This gives her an idea to sing a song to Max unnoticed to him that Aggie can hear her from a vent next to her bed. Unfortunately Patrick can hear Jessie via surveillance cameras in Nathan’s and Aggie’s room and runs into the bed room to stop her. Realizing where Jessie is and is OK, Aggie tries to play dumb in case she’s being watched but doesn’t work as Patrick can tell that she knows. With no choice the thieves leave the apartment taking Jessie with them. Patrick orders Dolen to go kill Aggie as she tries to break off her leg brace after she hears Jessie screaming. Back at Bridgeview Nathan sets he plan of getting Elisabeth out in motion; he’s stopped at the security area being refused to let out Elisabeth. He incapacitates the security guard with a syringe and then leaves the hospital. While at the same time Sandra tries to catch up with Nathan before he left the hospital but missed and puts out an APB.

Elisabeth gets another flashback this time of her father hiding the gem in her doll. Back at Nathan’s place Dolen enters the apartment looking for Aggie but gets a crutch to the face. A little bit later Aggie makes it to the apartment below to find it complete abandoned; she continues to look around finding the dead body of the old lady. She gets attacked from behind by Dolen as she was about to call the police. Aggie tries to struggle away from Dolen but he keeps her completely overpowered. He starts to strangle her as she continues struggling to fight back. Aggie manages to grab a blunt object and hits him upside the head. He quickly recovers and about to kill her but Aggie pulls out a rod from her leg cast and stabs Dolen dead. Nathan and Elisabeth arrive near Chinatown where she lives with her father; Elisabeth gets a flashback of her and her father walking down the street until they’re spotted by Patrick and his gang. The flashback continues with Elisabeth and her father running away as Patrick and the others give chase. Cut to real time Nathan and Elisabeth head down to a subway station where in the flashback she and her father run down into the same subway station. Continuing with the flashback Elisabeth is told by her father to hide behind a pillar as she father is caught by Patrick and the others. Continuing with the flashback Elisabeth watches as her father being threaten to tell Patrick where the gem is but doesn’t tell him. Patrick gets mad and pushes her father on the subway tracks. Her father tries to get off the tracks but gets run over by an oncoming train as when cut to real time with Elisabeth screaming over the event. Nathan asks her what did Patrick want and she replies her doll which the gem is inside of. Elisabeth goes to a map and point to where her doll is which is on Hart Island where she was found. Later Patrick calls Nathan on his progress; he tells Patrick he got the number but wants to give it to him in person. Patrick refuses but Nathan insist that they should meet if he wants the number; leaving Patrick no choice to agree. Nathan and Elisabeth arrive at a pier and commandeer a boat to Hart Island.

After they arrive they head to Potter’s Field cemetery where they meet up Patrick and the other. They both pieced together that the number has to be a location to a grave site so it’s up to Nathan to find out which one with Elisabeth’s help. Back on the mainland Sandra arrives at the pier where Nathan commandeers the boat out to Hart Island so she immediately follows suit. Back on the island Nathan performs one last session Elisabeth which leads to another flashback of her on a ferry boat where her father is being transported. A couple of ferrymen find her trying to open her father’s casket to put her doll inside. They help her to open it up for to do so and closed it back up. The flashback continues at the grave site on Hart Island where her father is being buried as she watches. The flashback ends as we cut to real time when Elisabeth starts writing the number she saw on her father’s casket 815508. So finally with the number in hand all except for Elisabeth and Jessie head off to the grave site; once there they dug open the casket and obtain the gem. All seems well however, Patrick goes back on his word and order Max to kill Nathan. As max is about to shoot Nathan he quickly grabs a shovel knocks the gun out of Max’s hand and a fight breaks out. Nathan holds up against Max until he’s eventually overpowered; Max puts him a bear hug but Nathan gets loose by slamming dirt on Max’s eyes. Nathan is about to kill him but hesitates so Patrick shoots Max dead on spot. Meanwhile Sandra hears the gunshots and finds them at the grave site. Patrick is about to shoot Nathan but is stopped by Sandra; Patrick’s last lackey is about to shoot her but she guns him down first. Patrick draws his gun on Sandra and shoots her but she only gets wounded. Nathan attacks Patrick knocking the gun out of his hand; Nathan quickly gets the gun and has Patrick at gunpoint. Nathan ask him was it all worth it for one gem and Patrick answers yes. Nathan throws the gem in a trench then kicks Patrick into the trench; he gets a spare gun off Max and shoots at Nathan. Nathan sets off a winch that drops some lumber on Patrick but he moves out of the way. However, this causes the trench to start collapsing burying Patrick alive. The film ends with Nathan finally reunited with Jessie along with Aggie; Sandra is taken to the hospital and Elisabeth is free from this 10 year nightmare.

My Final Verdict: I find this film more of a popcorn flick something to just shut off your brain sit back and watch it. The story feels down to earth in its execution and gets rather intense at most parts. The biggest positive from this film is Brittany Murphy’s performance; I’ve barely follow her career and performance but here she is just phenomenal. She plays such a convincing character of Elisabeth it’s downright terrifying and not just because of the character’s insanity. Hell when I think about when Elisabeth goes crazy she’s still somewhat rational whereas Bella Swan’s rationality just crawls off died before and after she goes psychotically obsessed with Edward Cullen. It’s a real shame that Brittany Murphy passed away in 2009 soon after she gained recognition in her career. And just to throw this out it’s nice to see Famke Janssen and Sean Bean in the same film again since GoldenEye. I really don’t have a joke there just thought it was something you should know.

The year is almost up but there are still a few films to review stay tuned next time as we look into Bones…..no not the one with David Boreanaz the horror film one… You know the one with Snoop Dogg……this film might get stupid.