The Film Vindicator Review: Stan Lee's Lightspeed

You’ve probably figure it out from the title that Stan Lee had his hand in this movie. So you can imagine that there will be a lot of cheese and campiness here.

We open in an alley where a man finds some kind of snake-like humanoid. After the opening credits we cut to the Hollibrown Defense Contractors HQ as a group of Ghost Squad units arrived at the scene; lead by Tanner (played by the Six Million Dollar Man himself Lee Majors). Daniel Leight (played by Jason Connery) leads a small team into the building. Meanwhile, we cut to the snake-like humanoid (calling himself Python) and his comrade Tom Barcroft (played by K. C. Clyde) stealing some special isotopes. Along the way to the upper floors, Daniel’s team take out a few of Python’s armed men. A second team encounters more of Python’s men; taking out all but Barcroft who gets wounded. Daniel makes it to the vault and confronts Python only to be surprise that Python called him by name. The two started fighting but Python soon overpowers Daniel. Python announces that Daniel will pay for Anne’s death as he puts him into unconsciousness. Python and his remaining men make their leave before setting off a bomb which destroys most of the building. Back inside Daniel tries to get out but gets pinned by falling rubble. This triggers the movie to flashback four years earlier; cutting to Daniel and his friend Dr. Edward Bartlett (played by Daniel Goddard). Bartlett is working with genetic hybrid snakes to create some kind of special healing skin. These skins produced by the molting of the snakes possess stem cells DNA which applied on a damaged tissue of a person allows that tissue to heal. The purpose of his work is to help people with severe burn injuries but most importantly to help his sister Anne…..hmmmmm.

Bartlett is having problems with the government cutting back on his funding. Daniel offers to help by contacting a senator friend to provide more money. Bartlett goes to visits his sister at the hospital where he’s soon joined by Anne’s husband Barcroft….hmmmmm. Cut to Daniel making a call to his senator friend Paul Davis (played by James Jamison) asking to help Bartlett with more funding. However, Davis tells that they decided to shut his project down and to notify him. Daniel decides to tell him but Bartlett doesn’t take the news all too well. More bad news for Bartlett as his sister just died and his lab is now off limits. But that doesn’t stop him as he sneaks back into the lab later that night. Completely distraught of his equipment being dismantle and storage he accidently starts a fire. Bartlett tries to it out but gets burned in the process; he decides to enter his machine to heal himself but a chain reaction has compromise his DNA. Changing him into something else; something very deadly. Yeah if it wasn’t obvious like a punch to the balls, Bartlett is Python. Cut to present day Daniel is found and dug out of the rubble of the building. At the hospital a doctor informs Tanner that Daniel’s lower pelvis and legs are crushed. Replacing them titanium/platinum alloy hips, knees and 37 screws; the doctor also suggested an experimental chemical/radiation procedure to help Daniel heal quicker. Cut to nighttime as Python and his men arrived at the hospital to get Barcroft. But not before Python attempts to kill Daniel by increasing the radiation projector. Dude why don’t you just shoot him, or stab him or anything man? What makes you think that he’s not gonna gain superpowers and come kick your ass? Anyway as Python and his men make their leave with Barcroft, Daniel awakens and struggles to shut off the projector until he managed as such.

The next day Daniel seems to have survived the radiation without noticeable side-effects. His injuries are healing faster than expected but he still requires going under months of physical therapy. Daniel informs Beth (played by Nicole Eggert) that Python is Bartlett but she’s skeptical that Bartlett had anything to do with what’s going on. So she heads off to find the connection; woman he just told who’s behind all of this and why he’s doing so. What connection is there to find? The movie cuts into a physical therapy montage as Daniel is making fast progress. Afterwards Daniel is moved to a safehouse for further recovering; with some help from Beth. A little later Daniel is sitting outside being pestered by a mosquito. All of sudden Daniel seems to be moving so fast that he caught the mosquito. Out of curiosity Daniel decides to go for a quick run; quite literally as he has incredible super speed. He runs back to the safehouse but suddenly gets so tired that he passes out. Daniel awakes at the hospital; informed that he suffered an acute metabolic stimulation. The radiation may have altered Daniel’s metabolism that his resting blood pressure has increased. His muscles and bone are improving much faster than expected just that the rest of his body hasn’t catch up yet. The doctor gives Daniel vials of a blue fluid that will stabilize his metabolism and a syringe of adrenaline in case of stroke or a heart attack. Cut to Python’s hideout as his generals go over Operation Firesky; Barcroft points out a prototype Mass Ionic Field Disburser at an AF Compound. Apparently it’s an important component to their operation of creating some type of Firesky bomb. Back at the hospital Daniel goes to test his newfound powers. Daniel ends up at sports store where he….you ready for this….gets his costume. A blue, skintight aerodynamic ski suit to withstand the amount of speed while he’s running, some type of ski mask to protect his face from wind burns and some wrestling boots. Although these things ACTUALLY work it just that coming to regular sports store to acquire a superhero outfit so ri-goddamn-diculous it would make every speedster in the DC universe face-palm in unison.

Anyway Daniel tries the…..eh outfit as he arrives at a convenient store being robbed. Daniel quickly disarms and takes out the robbers as police soon arrived at the scene. One of the robbers makes to the roof of the store….no idea why since there’s nowhere to go. Daniel soon follows him, trying to reason with him but the robber gets frighten that he accidently falls off the roof. Apparently dying instantly upon falling on a police car. Daniel returns to the hospital as Beth was wondering where he were; she comes up with no connection between Python and Bartlett. She can’t do much of anything without any evidence before going to Tanner. Cut to the AF Compound where the Mass Ionic Field Disburser is being tested. Basically it manipulates greenhouse gases in the atmosphere or in this case decreasing warm temperatures with an isotope which causes that decrease. However, there’s an opposite isotope that causes rising temperature; the same isotope that Python stolen. Little do the demonstrators know that Python is right outside waiting to the moment to make his move. Cut to Ghost Squad HQ as Daniel arrives; Tanner gets a signal from a tracker implanted in Barcroft’s neck. The squad heads out to the AF Compound but Daniel is ordered to stay behind to further recover. That doesn’t last for long as he quickly gears up and heads to the compound. Back at the AF Compound Python and his men began their raid on the complex; they’ve obtained the Field Disburser and replaced it with a replica. Python is soon confronted by Daniel and the two began to fight. As Python’s men exit the compound the Ghost Squad soon arrived and open fire on the men. Back inside the fight continues but soon ends rather disappointedly as Python overpower Daniel and leaves the compound. You know one would think with all that super-speed Daniel could’ve simply super-speed punch Python.

Away Python sets off some explosives as he makes his escape; Daniel spots Beth about to crush by debris but quickly moves her out of the way. Beth gets a good look at Daniel as he takes his blue fluid and Back at Ghost Squad HQ they brought in one of Python’s men for interrogation; the lackey doesn’t respond to their questions so they injected him with a truth serum. Cut to Python’s hideout as he’s informed of the lackey’s capture. He soon activates a failsafe implanted in the lackey; triggering some kind of kill switch that kills the lackey. A little bit later Python brings out Senator Davis from captivity, dowses him in gasoline and sets him on fire. Afterwards Barcroft looks up any info on Daniel and by that I mean he just brings up some random picture of Daniel and Beth on the computer. Cut to Daniel at the hospital as he tries to explain to Beth how he ended up with super-speed. Outside of Ghost Squad HQ one of Tanner’s men is taken by Python and is soon tortured for the location of Daniel’s safe house. He surrenders the location and Barcroft mostly kills him. Later Python drops off Tanner’s man at the front of Ghost Squad HQ; with his dying breath the man tells Tanner that Python knows where Daniel is. At the safe house Beth is already captured by Python; back at HQ Ghost Squads gear up and head to the safe house as Daniel soon arrives. He’s informed that the safe house has been compromised, immediately gears up and makes a dash to the safe house. Cut back to the safe house. Cut back to the safe house Python’s man are standing guard as he waits Daniel to show. Daniel arrives at the safe house and quickly takes out the guards. Python steps outside with Beth in tow and another fight break out between him and Daniel. Python once again over powers him and takes Beth away. Seriously Kid Flash has a better chance in fighting Vandal Savage than this guy. Why is he so pitiful? Whatever, Daniel leaves the safe house before the Ghost Squad arrives.

Daniel approaches Tanner demanding to be put back on the squad to hunt down Python and rescue Beth. Tanner denies that request on the counts that she’s been working for Python as a mole. Daniel doesn’t believe that she’s the mole but he continues no further with Tanner. The next day Daniel and Tanner gets a report on Beth’s transmitter and Python’s whereabouts in the capitol area of Washington DC. Daniel wants to get involve so Tanner has him on tactical duty. As the Ghost Squad is dispatched, Daniel makes it to the hideout where he meets with Python and Barcroft. And as usual in any low budget superhero movie the typical supervillain explains their master plan to the hero instead being smart and just kill them. In this case Python’s men had setup the Field Disburser somewhere in the DC area. When the time reaches 4:30PM the disburser will release the isotope and everyone within DC will be burned alive. As for Beth, she’s being held at a location close by the hideout (and I mean really close by) attached to a bomb. When the time reaches 4:30PM….KABOOOOOOOOOOOM! The Ghost Squad has arrived at the hideout and proceeds in taking down Python’s men. Python does the dumbest thing by telling Daniel where the disburser is. Daniel makes a dash to the disburser but Python believes he won’t reach in time. Python goes to a room where Beth was actually held and unties her; (told you she was really close by). He’s about to shoot her in the head but Barcroft stops him; not too thrilled about killing thousands of people. So disappointed in Barcroft, Python goes HULK SMASH until Barcroft dies. And then he just starts having a childish hissy fit; Doctor Doom he is not.

Meanwhile, Daniel makes it to the disburser in time and dismantles it; taking the isotope as he runs back to the hideout. Python is still having his hissy fit but thankfully Daniel shuts him up. Tanner arrives to at the scene only to reveal that he’s the real mole; why hell if I know. And it doesn’t seem to matter as Python shoots him (yet somehow a few seconds later Tanner just up and disappear). Daniel makes a run with Beth but his metabolism soon crashes after they made it out the door. He struggles to defend himself as Python attacks him; Beth tries to fend off Python but he’s just too strong. Daniel quickly gets an upper hand and jabs the isotope into Python; causing him to burst into flames and die. Daniel starts to have a stroke and stops breathing; Beth quickly takes the syringe, injects it into his chest and Daniel soon recovers. And the movie ends; just kinda comes to a stop.

My Final Verdict: It’s silly, it’s campy, it’s cheesy but it’s at least tolerably entertaining. The speed effects are rather impressive for a movie of this quality. The villain is no Loki but he’s still pretty menacing and a much better threat than fucking Piccolo from Dragon Ball Evolution.

Next time we’ll be looking into a recent movie that really disappointed me despite the interesting title. Stay tuned for my view on Killer Mermaid.

The Film Vindicator Review: Gen 13

Yes it’s a movie, it’s an hour and twenty-six minutes long, it has a beginning, middle and an end. It’s a movie. Gen 13 is based on an early 90s Wildstorm Comic of the same name created by Jim Lee, Brandon Choi and J Scott Campbell. Besides the DC/Wildstorm crossover story Dreamwar, I know next to nothing about Gen 13 so I am reviewing this completely blind.

We open at night as a family station wagon is driving away from a military attack chopper. The chopper soon opens fire, forcing the car off road and crash. The family safely got out of the burning car before it explodes but are cornered by the chopper. The chopper guns down the mother which pisses off the father that he psychically hulks out; destroying the chopper telekinetically. The father hands over the baby girl to his son, telling him to run and take care of his sister. Soon after another attack chopper arrives and guns down the father; the young boy stands in shock as we cut to the opening credits. Cut to a college dorm room as a young woman, Caitlin Fairchild (voiced by Alicia Witt) wakes up screaming; scaring her roommate. Soon after Caitlin panics as she realizes that she’s gonna be late for school and quickly gets dress. A little bit later Caitlin arrives at the campus only to be approached by a special agent from the National Security Committee. The agent explains that the NSC is recruiting promising young talents for a program called Project Genesis. And Caitlin is one of those talents based on the reputation of her father. Caitlin takes a flyer from the agent and considers the offer. After class Caitlin returns to her dorm only to find it locked due to her roommate having some college sex time. Caitlin decide take up on the offer earlier and who can blame her. If you got sick and tired of your roommates constantly fucking strangers while you’re locked outside you would go off to a better place too.

Later Caitlin is taken by helicopter to the Phoenix Base in the middle of a desert. There she meets with one of the base’s instructors Helga Kleinman (voiced by Cloris Leachman). A little bit later Caitlin gets an accidental dog pile from Percival “Grunge” Chang (voiced by Red Hot Chili Pepper member Flea) who was running from getting a shot. She then meets with Roxanne “Roxy” Spaulding (voiced by Elizabeth Daily). Cut to a training session of a Matthew Callahan (voiced by the Joker himself Mark Hamill). In the middle of the sparring the instructor head-butts Matthew which made him rather piss that he telekinetically breaks the instructor’s leg. Soon after Matthew gets a call from an Ivana Baiul (voiced by Lauren Lane); she wants him to keep an eye on Caitlin believing she may have great Gen-Factor potential. Apparently Caitlin is a progeny of a rogue Gen 12 who was a member of Team 7. After a short montage we cut to Caitlin in a training with Sarah Rainmaker (voiced by () ); Sarah has her on the ropes but Caitlin soon recovers and fights back until she wins. Upon winning the fight she starts to get a painful headache which does go away soon after. Cut to Caitlin’s room as she’s studying until a gas enters through a vent rendering her unconscious. A couple of armed men enter the room and place Caitlin in an incubation tube. Among with the other children Caitlin is taken to a chamber where they are going under some kind of procedure of the genetic kind. Ivana is notified of an in-coming military aircraft with an I/O (Internal Operations) clearance. She recognized it that it’s John Lynch approaching to the base. Cut to topside as Lynch (voiced by John de Lancie) arrives at the base to investigate any illegal experiments on the children. Ivana insures him that there aren’t any experiments going on only strictly observational purposes and are fully prepare for anything when emergencies arise.

We cut to the little boy from the start of the movie running away from soldiers. The soldiers close in on the boy and baby but he slips into a river and is carried downstream into a waterfall. The boy survives the waterfall but losses his baby sister on the way down. The little boy is capture by the soldiers soon after. Caitlin wakes from as the scenes, apparently she been having dreams of that event for quite some time. Cut to next day as Caitlin, Roxy and Grunge are getting lunch; Caitlin starts feeling very nauseous but Lynch catches her before she collapses. Lynch talks to Caitlin for a bit about how he served with her father. Cut to Ivana and Matthew watching Lynch on a closed circuit monitor. She worries that Lynch may gather enough evidence to shut down the project but Matthew is confident that once these children become Gen-Active nothing can stop them. Later at Caitlin’s room she starts getting a headache this a lot worst then before; she then starts puking on the floor. Caitlin tries to contact anyone one on the intercom but gets no response and decides to leave her room to find the infirmary. She stumbles upon a room called Comcore One and spots a file of her father Alex Fairchild. Caitlin looks deeper into the file, noticing something superhuman about father until she gets spooked by Roxy and Grunge. Soon after an armed guard arrives at Comcore One; Caitlin tries to explain but the guard backhands her. Looks like somebody keeps his pimp hand strong, huh? Grunge tries to attack the guard but he’s quickly knock down and the guard draws his gun him and Roxy. Caitlin soon recovers looking rather piss off; the guard is about to shoot her but Caitlin quickly takes the gun away and straights up Falcon Punches him into the incubation chamber. Caitlin continues to be in pain this time she’s undergoing some transformation; gaining muscle mass and increasing in size while Roxy and Grunge stand in shock and awe. A little bit more armed guards show up to subdue Caitlin but leads to no prevail as she breaks free and takes out most of the guards.

Caitlin and the others make their leave before anymore guards arrive. Soon after Matthew arrives and reports to Ivana on the situation; suspecting that one of the children has gone Gen-Active. Ivana has the rest of the children incapacitated and collected while sending out armed forces to capture Caitlin. Cut to some guards searching the locker as Caitlin, Roxy and Grunge are hiding in the air vent. Just long enough for the guards to leave the locker room. While Caitlin changes to some better clothes (her outfit from the comics) a couple of guards spot an open vent leading to the locker room. One of the guards drops a grenade into the vent; Caitlin quickly moves Roxy and Grunge out of the way before the grenade goes off. Matthew and some armed guards arrive at the locker room to find Roxy and Grunge unconscious. Meanwhile Caitlin wakes up at outside of the base after being blown into a shaft leading outside. She soon gets spotted by two aircraft patrols and runs away at impressively high speed. The patrols make an attempt to capture her but break free destroying one of them. The second patrol opens fire on Caitlin as she runs away again. The patrol gives chase until Caitlin throws a huge rock at him taking him out indefinitely. But it’s not over just yet as a Helga appears in a mech firing rockets at her. After Helga runs out of rockets Caitlin jumps at her head-on, causes her to make a rough landing. Helga grabs a boulder to crush her but Caitlin grabs hold on the boulder; causing Helga to fall off a cliff and come sliding down at the side of a mountain. Caitlin goes to check on Helga only to find her bruised up but alive and unconscious. Caitlin soon starts to sense a great disturbance in the force as in she feels Roxy in great pain. Evidentially a person who’s Gen-Active can psychic sense other Gen-Actives.

Cut to Roxy and Grunge being tortured by Ivana who’s demanding to know if they work for Lynch but doesn’t get the answer she’s expecting. Ivana gets a call from the control room about an unidentified formation that just appear on radar; mostly Lynch making a raid on the base. She heads back to the control room while Matthew stays behind continuing the interrogation. However, it would appear that Matthew has other plans for Roxy and Grunge. As it turns out he had some involvement of making Caitlin manifest her power. So now he’s going keep torturing them until their powers manifest as well. Back at topside interceptor jets are sent out while Caitlin who’s inside the mech is attempting to get pass the security but doesn’t get very far. Armed guards open fire on the mech but Caitlin recovers and throws the damaged mech at the guards. A tank soon arrives to attack her but she immediately charge right at it to tackle it; causing the tank to fire at a few jets. Back at the interrogation chamber Matthew continues torturing Grunge with no results of any manifestation. Roxy provokes Matthew which makes him stop torturing Grunge. Matthew (now calling himself Threshold) puts Roxy in a telekinetically hold and proceeds to torture her psychically. This makes Grunge very angry that he becomes Gen-Active; molecularly bonding with the metal restraints and taking on their properties. Grunge quickly frees himself and takes out Threshold, able to save Roxy in time. Caitlin tries to sneak back into the base but gets cornered by Ivana’s men who are ready to kill her. Roxy and Grunge makes the save via throwing tools. Caitlin starts taking out some of the guards until Grunge joins bonding with a steel pillar. He takes a few guards very impressively but gets shot from behind by a tank. Caitlin throws a guard’s helmet into the barrel of the tank as Ivana orders to fire. This somehow causes the tank to explode.

Roxy meets up with Caitlin as Ivana appears from the wreckage revealing her cybernetic arm. A fight breaks out with Ivana having the advantage over Caitlin. Ivana has Caitlin on the ropes until the recovered Grunge bonds with her cybernetic arm and breaks it; forcing Ivana to retreat. While Caitlin and the others are finding a way off the base Lynch and his men have infiltrated the Phoenix Base. Caitlin and the others spot a helicopter pilot and persuade him to fly them out. They almost made it out until they come across a red light in form of Threshold as he gives his best Joker laugh. We even get a nice Scanners moment as Threshold makes the pilot’s head explode. He then destroys the helicopter causing the three of them to fall to their death. Luckily however, Roxy’s powers manifested just in time; able to control gravity to stop their fall. Threshold is pleased to these three to have become Gen-Active. Long story short Threshold wants them to join him to destroy the government who murder their parents (who were all Gen 12s) and create a better society. But the three of them all refused so now Threshold offers them death instead. He tries some more Scanner tricks by entering their minds but Caitlin managed to repel his mental attack. Caitlin goes to attack Threshold but he dodges out of the way and Force pushes her right into Grunge. Threshold sets his sights on Roxy as she uses her power to throw objects at him. Threshold retaliates with a telekinetic blast but Roxy blocks it with a gravity field. Cut back to the base as Lynch is informed that all the Gen 13 children are gone leaving no choice but to evacuate the base. Back outside Roxy continues to block Threshold’s attacks. Grunge bonds with a rock asked Caitlin to do a Fastball Special at Threshold; tackling him down to a wall. Grunge is about to attack Threshold but gets Force pushed into a lake. Threshold does a Psycho Crusher towards Caitlin and Roxy but Caitlin counters with a Shoryuken. Grunge recovers and blasts Threshold with water after bonding with it. Roxy encases Threshold in a water bubble; just long enough to wear him out as Caitlin gets the drop on him.

Shortly thereafter, Lynch arrives putting a stop to this fight. Threshold wants to kill the three but Lynch stops him; telling him Caitlin is his sister. So it turns out that Threshold was that little boy and Caitlin was that baby. And apparently Caitlin’s been having his dreams. Lynch explains that after Threshold was taken away he found Caitlin down river and hid her away. When the project was no longer popular he returned Caitlin to her uncle. Back at the base with all the Gen 13 children safely evacuated to another location, Ivana activates the self-destruct destroying the Phoenix Base. Caitlin and the rest aboard the aircraft to the escape the explosion; Threshold decides to stay behind. Caitlin goes after him but he Force pushes her away from the destruction while Roxy pulls her into the aircraft. Presumably Threshold dies by the falling rocks. After the destruction of the base Lynch proposes that Caitlin and the others have the potential to make a positive change to the world with their powers; the three of all agree to join him. The movie ends with Caitlin asking Lynch about her father and Matthew.

My Final Verdict: For an animated movie that was made way back in 2000 this is an impressive movie. The animation is in good quality, the voice acting is decent if not pretty good. The action scenes weren’t disappointed to say the least and the story is self-explanatory and contain for the most part.

So yeah I think I’m in the mood for another guilty pleasure superhero movie. Next time it’s Lightspeed, stay tuned.