The Film Vindicator Review: Bloodfist VI: Ground Zero

The 90s was an open door opportunity for martial artists when it came to action movies. I mean you couldn’t channel surf without running into a movie where its main lead is a martial artist. From Cynthia Rothrock to Billy Blanks to Jackie Chan to Oliver Gruner to Gary Daniels; you name it they’ve starred in a movie. And there’s today movie starring Don “The Dragon” Wilson WKA World Kickboxing Champion. No joke that’s how they listed him in the opening credits. You’re wondering why I’m reviewing the sixth movie in the Bloodfist series. Well it’s because I had no idea this was a sequel when I watched this as a kid; plus I’m more familiar with it than the others. Will I review the rest of the Bloodfist series? Well……I wouldn’t get my hopes for now.

We open at nuclear missile base, A-14 Ellsworth as we cut to a naked military officer, Tori (played by Catya Sassoon). Wow 2 minutes and 27 seconds in and already a nude scene that’s really impressive. Anyway we cut to a field a few miles from the base as a truck arrives and two armed men released some rabbits. Apparently the rabbits have trapped the alarms to distract security as the two armed sneak into an underground linking station and hack into the missile control room in sub level 2. Cut to highway as we’re introduced to Sgt. Nick Corrigan (played by Don “The Dragon” Wilson) en route to A-14 to deliver a package. Cut to the main gate at A-14 as an RV arrives at scene. One of the guards tells the old man to leave but the man panics saying that his wife’s not breathing. The guard enters the RV to check on the wife but it turns out to be a trap as the old man guns him down and a group of armed men approved out of hiding. One of the armed men sneaks up on the other guard and snaps his neck in a 180. Gees, is this guy related to Jason Voorhees or something? Anyway he hacks into the main gate security camera; creating a video loop to the main security station in the base. The armed men have entered A-14 via elevator and proceed to eliminate the base personal. As for the old man well he’s not an old man exactly, but Fawkes (played by Jonathan Fuller) in disguise. In the missile control room one of the missile control personal is not getting any response from up top and the two armed themselves. The second missile control personal, Major Paul Tillman (played by Steve Garvey) hides away his launch key which along with the second key activates the missile launch. Fawkes and his men arrived at missile control room, killing one of the missile control personal and obtained one of the keys.

After they set up shop, Fawkes’ men have completely linked into the missile control computers and are now obtaining the launch codes. However, the codes mean nothing without BOTH keys. So Fawkes tries to brutally persuade Tillman into telling him where the second key is but Tillman refuses to talk. Fawkes then resorts to threaten Tillman’s little squeeze Tori by cutting off her tongue but gets interrupted by a call from the main gate. It’s Nick who has just arrived at the main gate to drop off a package to Tillman and needs his signature. Fawkes’ men suggest to just kill Nick but his tech guy Sabian (played by Marcus Aurelius) opposes that idea given that if Nick doesn’t report to S.A.C. they may get suspicious and change the launch codes. With no choice, Fawkes allows Nick inside the base; little does he know that Tillman manages to get the key unnoticed before leaving the control room. Inside some of Fawkes’ men are disguised as base personal as Nick gets off the elevator and delivers the package to Tillman. Tillman takes the package, gives his signature and Nick leaves. Tillman is taken back to the control room and Fawkes once again asked where the key is; this time he threatens to shoot Tori if he doesn’t answer. Tillman still refuses; Tori begs him to tell them where the key is but he says that it’s gone already. This pisses her off and for some reason grabs a gun and shoots Tillman in the shoulder; apparently she’s working for Fawkes. Fawkes realizes that Nick may have the key and orders his man at the gate to stop him. Cut to topside as Nick gets back to his jeep with some suspicion; he checks his hat to the missile key as he see in jeep mirror of the fake guard sneaking up behind him. The fake guard orders him to get out of the jeep and he complies but before he got the chance to kill him Nick quickly disarms him and the two fight. The fake guard has the upper hand but Nick soon fights back and snaps his neck on a ladder. But it’s not over yet as two more of Fawkes’ men arrived and open fire on Nick. Armed with only the fake guard’s revolver, Nick shoots back and kills one of them. Now you gonna love movie inconsistences as we notice Nick fires all six shots yet somehow manage to fire four extra shots. Anyway back in the control room Tillman activates the Emergency Defense System; locking down the base. Which means Fawkes and some of his men are trapped in the missile control room while the rest are trapped in the elevator. Of course Fawkes didn’t appreciate that so much and shoots Tillman dead. Back topside Nick is still pinned down until the gunman hits the jeep’s gas tank. Nick quickly flees from the jeep before it explodes. With one good knife throw to chest, Nick takes out the gunman and radios dispatch to contact S.A.C.

Cut to the S.A.C. (Strategic Air Command) base in Nebraska, we’re introduced to a Major Marin (played by Robin Curtis) as she’s attending a meeting with General “Dipshit” Carmichael (played by Wynn Irwin) I call him dipshit because he kinda is and an asshole. Anyway they’re notified that they’ve lost contact with A-14 and the missile control override is disabled. Carmichael is not too convinced that someone has taken over the compound but just in case, he orders an alert status and to have Special Forces on the compound. Back at A-14 Sabian is working on getting the systems back on; he managed to get the elevator back on; freeing Tori and Ahmad (played by Michael Blanks). Nick hears the elevator opening and goes hiding into a room. Ahmad hears a glass cup hitting the floor from the room and goes to check. Nick attacks him from behind but Ahmad proceeds to HULK SMASH Nick. Ahmad has him in an unbreakable bear hug but one kick to the balls and Nick breaks free; knocking him out. Tori shows up to the scene but Nick doesn’t know that she’s on Fawkes’ side; giving her the opportunity to use him to get the key. Nick managed to get through to S.A.C. informing Marin that he has the key and about Fawkes. Marin informs him that Special Forces are on the way and have Nick to stay put until then. Nick gives Tori a gun; she’s about to shoot him but apparently the gun is empty. Looks like Nick’s mother didn’t raise a fool but unfortunately Fawkes gets the drop on him. Fawkes has obtained the second launch key and orders his men to kill Nick as he heads back to the missile control room. Nick managed to get away but gets shot in the arm as two of Fawkes men goes after him. Back at the missile control room Sabian has obtained half of the launch codes as Fawkes gives him one of the launch keys. So now the terrorists have activated the launch sequence; a waiting for the complete launch codes.

Fawkes contacts S.A.C. demanding one hundred million dollars in gold or he’ll launch the nuke. Nick makes it to a storage room and tries to patch up his gunshot wound. The two men are still after him now approaching the storage room. Nick gets the drop on them but struggles to keep up. He knocks out one of them while the other grabs an Uzi. Nick tries to snatch away the Uzi only to flesh wound him and runs away; the wounded gunman makes it back to control room. Tori has enough of this and goes after Nick; accompanied by a few of Fawkes’ men. Cut to topside as Special Forces arrived at the base along with Marin and Carmichael. Marin managed to get in touch with Nick guiding him to the electronics bay to set up some countermeasures; trying to delay the launch as much as possible. A little bit later a small infantry of Special Forces have entered A-14 via elevator but that proved to be futile as they are blown up by an explosive at the elevator exit. Although this doesn’t seem to bother Fawkes as has finally obtained the launch codes. Nick it’s at the electronics bay and just in time to stop one of Fawkes men from rigging a bomb. This guy is a pretty tough customer but Nick eventually defeats him; very shortly after Nick shoots down another guy as he entered the room. Back at missile control room Sabian inputs a few major U.S. cities as targets for the nukes. They’re ready to negotiate but Fawkes however, is playing for keeps as he’s about to push the launch button. Sabian stops him demanding that they should get the money and leave but Fawkes has other plans as he stabs Sabian to death. Fawkes activates the launch sequence with only 60 seconds before the nukes launch. Fortunately however, before the countdown reaches zero the launch sequence has been aborted. Apparently Nick was able to activate the launch override and just in time too.

Back topside Carmichael orders an airstrike just as Nick reports to Marin; she tells him that he must stop the launch manually before the backup kicks in and before the airstrike arrives to destroy the base. Nick takes out two remaining Fawkes’ men leaving with Tori left standing as she puts some night vision goggles and shoots a fuse box cutting off the lights. She has Nick cornered in a storage room and goes for the kill but he shines a flashlight at her; temporary blinding her. But it’s just enough for him to get behind her and knock her unconscious. As Nick makes his way to control room, the backup system has start up and Fawkes is about to push the button. Nick arrives to the control room and a shot gunfight breaks out; resulting Nick getting wounded. Fawkes knocks him down and pushes the launch button restarting the launch. Nick just gets right back up and beats the shit out of Fawkes. Nick contacts Marin to get the about codes with only 16 second left. Nick types down the code as Marin tells him the codes but for some the last number isn’t working. What the hell is the Caps Lock on or is the computer being a picky bitch. So Nick picks up an Uzi and shoots the computers and somehow that stops the launch, apparently. OK I don’t think shooting the computer that controls the missile stops it from launching it would still launch anyway. Whatever the bad guys are defended and the country is saved; movie over.

My Final Verdict: This movie is like a low-budget Under Siege, none of the seriousness yet all of the fun action and that’s not a bad thing. Also with a few rewrites it could’ve made a decent Metal Gear movie……what…..it could’ve. Don Wilson’s performance is wouldn’t say average but not bad either; sorta like he’s acting is good yet he’s still improving. Don is like the low-budget Chuck Norris when he starred in a plethora of movies back in 90s. Some of them I may have seen so I’ll be definitely review them in the future.

Well it’s time for a short recess in prep for something special on February 6th, so until then stay tuned.

The Film Vindicator Review: TC 2000

I keep thinking the 90s was like the Bronze Age of action movies; like the 80s there would a giant cesspool of action movies. Only back in the 90s we had the advances of video stores and cable. There were a lot of popular action movies such as Speed, The Rock and Face Off. But there were action movies back then that didn’t quite stand out from the bunch. Movies that you would come across late at night on a school night that has you saying “I don’t know what that movie’s called but it sure was awesome”. And TC 2000 was one of those movies that I came across when I was a kid.

We open on a narration by Jason Storm (played by Billy Blanks); I wonder is he related to Mason Storm from Hard to Kill? Anyway he states that food, water and air have become poisonous due to years of pollution. Most of the people started dying from disease and hunger. The wealthy have moved underground and setup an Underworld society while others were left behind on the surface world. The killers and criminals formed ruthless gangs and when they won’t killing each other they would try to break into the Underworld. Jason works for TC (Tracker Communicator) Unit; an elite Underworld security forces. Their job is to locate any “Breakers” trying to get in the Underworld and kick them out or terminate them. Jason and his rookie partner Zoey Kinsella (played by Bobbie Phillips) return to Underworld as their patrol on the surface world has ended for tonight. But as the secondary unit started their patrol they’re immediately attacked by a group of Breakers. Jason and Zoey are immediately called in to take care of them. Back outside the Breakers have taken out the two TC men and used their bodies to get pass the security laser grid. Inside Jason and Zoey spot the two Breakers and pursuit after them; they split up as the Breakers do so as well. They both managed to apprehend the Breakers and send them back to the surface world.

After the Breaker attack has been dealt with Jason and Zoey report to the Controller (played by Ramsay Smith). Zoey believes that someone is giving TC Unit schedule intel to the Breakers but Controller says he’s looking into it. Controller calls in a scientist, Dr. Cameron Johnson (played by Gregory Philpot) to analyze some data collected by Jason and Zoey for a new TC project on the surface world called TC 2000 X. Cybernetic trackers as Johnson explains to them; however, there has been any volunteers for the project. Jason and Zoey stop at a locker room and run into this movie’s douchebag and Controller’s right hand Bigalow (played by Matthias Hues). Cut to Jason and Bigalow at the gym having a “sparring match”; apparently there’s some bad blood between the two. And also I’m giving this movie points for having Billy Blanks wearing sunglasses that makes him look like Johnny Cage. Anyway the two began fighting which is rather impressive fight scene. The two continue beating the crap out each other until an announcement from the intercom breaks up the fight. Later at Jason’s place Zoey is certain that there’s leak in the security system; Jason tells her to let it go but she still wants to investigate as she leaves. Cut to the Controller getting a call from a subordinate that they’ve located a Master Sumai on the surface. The Controller doesn’t see him as a threat for the moment so he tells to stand down. Soon after we cut to Sumai (played by Chong Li himself Bolo Yeung) in a competitive street fight. Now this is gonna become as a shock but Bolo is a protagonist in this movie. Yeah that was a surprise to me too when I first was this. Anyway Sumai is kicking ass in this fight until his opponent grabs an on-looker; using him as a shield. But that doesn’t stop Sumai as he harmlessly punches the on-looker yet hits his opponent winning the fight. Now I don’t know what he did or what it’s called I just know that it was badass.

Cut to a gang hideout of the Picassos led by Niki Picasso (played Jalal Merhi); yeah I know it sounds silly just go with it. Nick announces that it’s time for the Picassos to penetrate the Underworld and take what’s rightfully theirs; apparently with the help of a Tracker’s PDR that Nick acquired from someone within the Underworld. Later we cut to a TC Unit repairing a damaged force field and security until they’re attacked by the Picassos. They’ve immediately taken out the Unit and entered the Underworld; meanwhile, Jason and other TC Units are called in. In the Underworld tunnels the Picassos have taken out a few more TC Units and have reached quadrant 13. Shortly after Jason and Zoey preceded to quadrant 13 and are on pursuit the Picassos. They managed to catch up the gang at a dead end; however, Niki finds a hidden passage to the next quadrant that’s underneath the Underworld’s central control. Jason and Zoey continue to pursuit them until they are confronted by the Picassos. The two managed to hold off the gang as long as possible, however, Niki finds a secret panel with an Uzi inside. Nick open fires on the two but accidentally shoots one of his men. Nick continues firing on Jason and Zoey until he has them pin down at a pillar. Little do Jason and Zoey know that there’s another gunman hidden in shadows behind them. The open fires and shoots Zoey in the back; Jason attends to her but unfortunately she dies. This incident however has provided a volunteer for the TC 2000 X project.

Back on the surface world Sumai runs into a MasterBlaster wannabe beating up a boy and a woman. Of course this pisses off Sumai and proceeds to fix this problem. That’s right Sumai is a real Kenshiro in this movie which means that not-MasterBlaster is gonna get fucked beyond Thunderdome…..BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! The two began fighting but it seems that not-MasterBlaster has the upper hand. Sumai fights back like a badass but still being overpowered by not-MasterBlaster. Sumai managed to get to an opening with one Sweet Chin Music to the chest; knocking not-MasterBlaster permanently on his ass. Back in the Underworld Jason checks out a video from Zoey’s shoulder cam and sees Niki holding the PDR. This confirms Zoey’s suspicions about the leak in security. Shortly after Zoey’s funeral Jason approaches the Controller asking to see her one last time but he denies that request. Saying that she’s listed as classified information; Jason is not too happy about that considering that the Picassos have access to the Underworld. Jason declares that he’s sticking around watching other getting killed off so the Controller recommends him for a full deprograming. Resigning from TC as it were; Jason undergoes surgery to have his chip impacts removed. He soon recovers at his place but still pretty groggy from the surgery. However, it appears that wasn’t the Controller’s plan as it turns out he ordered Johnson to have Jason died during the surgery but he couldn’t do it. So now Bigalow has sent his men to kill Jason. They break into his place but Jason is all for them as he quickly dispatches them. He then escapes via air vent as more of Bigalow’s men show up. Well now he knows how John McClane felt like.

Jason makes it to the security laser grid leaving straight to the surface world. So nobody didn’t reprogram the grid to keep Jason from escaping the Underworld I mean the thought never cross no one’s mind at all? Then again it would’ve been a short movie if he got fried at the grid. Later the Controller notifies TC with misinformation that Jason is a traitor and has defected to the surface world. Soon after Controller reveals to the public the TC 2000 X who turns out to be Zoey in an outfit straight from American Gladiators. And apparently she has FMV vision. On the surface world Jason arrives at a competitive street fight between Sumai and a new challenger with a plastic bag of clean water as the prize. As the fight starts Sumai immediately has the challenger on the ropes. Seriously fighting Chong Li is like fighting Bruce Lee while he’s blindfolded, you might as well throw in the towel already. Therefore the challenger decides to cheat using a knife; he has Sumai dodging away from him giving the challenger an opening for the kill. Luckily Jason blocks the kill stab then punches the challenger on his ass. The fight is interrupted as a TC Unit show up along with Zoey. Jason is glad to see them; however, it’s not exactly a reunion as they quickly incapacitate him. Luckily Sumai takes out the Unit and carries Jason away to safety as the Picassos show up. Niki orders them to capture Zoey but she quickly dispatches them; Niki stops Zoey asking her to join him and she does. We cut to Sumai’s place as he brings Jason on in; apparently Jason has gain Sumai’s respect. Jason asks for info about Niki who’s been terrorizing the surface world for years. The only gangs that can rival the Picassos are the Lifers but won’t team up with anyone. And apparently the Lifers’ hideout is the Terminal Station; a chemical warfare plant that was meant to wipeout the population of the surface world. Jason decides to go after Niki alone but Sumai advise him to go by day. And by day he does as Jason infiltrates Niki’s hideout but he’s not alone as Sumai soon arrives to help. They made it to a tower above a window to the hideout; Jason goes rappelling down into the hideout and catches Niki off guard. Jason is about to take him out as payback for killing Zoey but Niki informs him that she’s still alive and calls her. Jason is shocked to see Zoey alive but once again the reunion is cut short as she starts kicking his ass. She soon starts to glitch out as tidbits of her memories are kicking in but her programming immediately overrides them. Zoey continues the ass kicking until she kicks Jason out of the hideout.

Back at the Underworld the Controller has been monitoring Zoey’s progress; apparently she’s meant to infiltrate the Picassos, use them to take out the Lifers and gain control of Terminal Station. Not to mention that the Overlord of Underworld is unaware of the Controller’s plan. Jason awakes at Sumai’s place, recovering from the ass kicking. But not to worry Jason will be feeling a lot better with…..you guess it A TRAINING MONTAGE YAAAAAAAAAAAY! We even get to see Sumai’s badass Magic Death Punch. Afterwards Jason mentions Zoey’s last name which Sumai recognizes to be her father’s. Apparently her father built Terminal Station to help repair the atmosphere but was turned into a weapon when her father was murdered. Back at the Underworld Johnson is not too comfortable turning into a weapon but the Controller doesn’t care. It’s revealed that it was the Controller who shot Zoey dead as he shoots Johnson in the head. Back on the surface world Jason and Sumai are planning to enter Terminal Station, but first they need gather some Redshirts……I MEAN some good men to fight against the Lifers. Back at the Underworld the Controller is called in by the Overlord; apparently he’s not too happy of him using TC 2000 X for personal agendas. But the Controller doesn’t seem to care as he orders Bigalow to break the Overlord’s neck. Cut to Terminal Station the Picassos began their attack on the Lifers as Jason, Sumai and their gang standby in the shadows. The Picassos have wiped out the Lifers as the Controller and his men soon arrived at the scene. Terminal Station is accessed with the help from Zoey who apparently is the key to the station. Jason and the others follow suit into the station.

Inside Terminal Station Jason and the others make their attack on the douchebags and just as I thought Jason’s guys are easily taken out by the Picassos. Like I said Redshirts. Jason and Sumai managed to take out the Picassos like they’re the fucking Bad Dudes. They made to the “Killzone” which is guarded by the Controller’s men. Jason engages two of Controller’s men while Sumai engages Bigalow. Meanwhile, Controller, Zoey and Niki have entered the Killzone; basically this place is a silo which houses a special launcher. This launcher fires six chemicals; by themselves they’re harmless but mix in the atmosphere becomes deadly for 48 hours. Controller activates the Surface World Cleansing sequence then he activates a laser security grid to protect the launcher controls from intruders. Jason is being tag-teamed but eventually defects them. Meanwhile, Bigalow decides to be a pussy and run away but Sumai chases after him. Bigalow goes through a door then blocks it shut; preventing Sumai from getting through. But does that stop him, HELL NO! Sumai unleashes his Magic Death Punch on the door but hits Bigalow in the process; killing him instantly. Back at the Killzone Controller tries to escape via silo elevator but Niki follows him all the way to the top of the silo. Niki wraps a rope around the Controller’s neck, throws him off and the Controller dies instantly. Jason and Sumai arrived at the Killzone and managed to get pass the laser grid. Jason confronts Zoey to stop her but she glitches again; this time her programming shuts down completely, returning to her normal self. With only seconds remaining Jason and Zoey are trying to stop the sequence; Zoey thinks that it might be stopped with a password. Jason tried certain words that might work but no good. Then Sumai approaches the control and types in LIFE and apparently it worked and sequence has stopped. Turns out Zoey’s father told Sumai the password a long time ago. So the surface world is safe, our heroes rejoice while enjoying the sunrise; apparently nature has been healing itself and the Controller knew the whole time. And as for Niki, well he’s having some elevator trouble. End of movie.

My Final Verdict: The thing about low budget post-dystopia movies is if done right you can get away with a decent story and TC 2000 is no exception. This movie maybe cheesy but still enjoyable to watch when you’re having a rainy day or just bored. The fight scenes are entertaining for the most part; sure they’re not on par with The Raid but still noteworthy fight scenes. Now the acting maybe questionable at times given that most of the actors started out as martial artists. Not having any acting chops under their belt but in this movie the acting is forgivable. Seeing Bolo Yeung as a protagonist was a different change of pace though I’m a bit confused that he’s top billing in the credits yet he gets less screen time. Not sure if TC 2000 was his first or last movie where he’s the protagonist but I’m there’s probably more out there somewhere. Now I like bring up actress Bobbie Phillips; she starred in a trilogy in the late 90s called Chameleon. And they knida have the same vibe as TC 2000.

So that’s that but I think I’m in the mood for one more cheesy action flick from the 90s. Next time it’s Bloodfist VI: Ground Zero, stay tuned.

The Film Vindicator Review: Tekken 2: Kazuya's Revenge

Hey everyone welcome to a new year and a new review. Kicking off 2015 is Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge and to tell you the truth I wish this film never came to being. Because despite the title this film is not a sequel, it’s a prequel. A really stupidly, shitty prequel.

We open a guy waking up in a hotel room and SURPRISE, SURPRISE has amnesia. (NOT) SPOILER ALERT its Kazuya Mishima (played by Kane Kosugi); and yeah he does remember his name but it takes forever to get there so I’m calling him Kazuya for the sake of time. As Kazuya gets dress a group of armed men are approaching the room. Some of the men break in the room to apprehend him but with the power of plot-convenience Kazuya REMEMBERS KUNG-FU and beats the armed men. So not only this is a shitty prequel but a Borne Identity knock-off; because those never get old. Anyway Kazuya makes it outside while fighting off more armed men but gets hit by a car and is capture by some random woman. And I said that very heavily because she not a character from the games. After a short yet boring narration from Heihachi Mishima (played by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) we cut to Kazuya awaking at the base of operation of the “Minister” (played by Rade Serbedzija) located at the slums outside of “Tekken City”. And believe me this guy is about as threating as Mai from Dragonball Evolution. Seriously this guy is just goes by the numbers in villainy like a cheesy Bond villain. The Minister informs Kazuya that he has a small explosive implanted in him and he doesn’t so what he say, KABOOM! So the Minister has Kazuya working for him for…..reasons.

Cut to next day, Kazuya is having memory dreams…I guess until he’s awaken by one of the Minister’s slutty hencewomen dry humping him. Or raping him whichever way you look at it. He’s then approached by the random woman from earlier Rhona Anders (played by Kelly Wenham). She takes him to gun ranch but despite Kazuya being a good shot he doesn’t like guns. A little bit later Rhona takes him to a fighting arena where pair off against some random dude as the minister watches the fight. Whose this dude that Kazuya’s fighting I don’t know and don’t care. And I highly doubt this random dude is from the games so again don’t care. After an intense fight Kazuya wins and walks out of the arena, meanwhile, he’s being watched by Heihachi WHO LOOKS NOTHING LIKE FROM THE GAME! Hell he doesn’t even look like Heihachi from the first movie WHAT THE FUCK?!?! To summarize the Minister wants Kazuya to kill a few guys; believe me it’s not as exciting as it sounds. Rhona takes Kazuya to some restaurant to kill some other random dude. OK I know I should give some ounce of care to these characters but this movie is not giving any reason to. About 90% of the main characters are even based off from the games and the remaining 10% are characters that don’t even try to show any importance to the plot. The Raid 2 has better characterizations than this and at least that movie promise the audience awesomely badass action scenes. Hell I rather be watching The Raid 2 instead. Anyway Kazuya just walks up, beats up the bodyguards, kills the guy with chop-sticks and just walks away. Yeah we don’t even get an interesting fight scene he just kills a guy and walks off like he just paid the water bill. I still rather be watching The Raid 2.

Cut to Kazuya checking into some apartment housing; afterwards he goes online to find the hotel he was in from the start of the film. The next day Kazuya leaves the apartment until he spots a woman Laura (played by Paige Lindquist) being harass by two men. Kazuya immediately kicks one of their asses and the two leave. Right away there’s an immediate connection between the two but trust me it’s gonna get horribly insufficient later. Kazuya continues his hotel search….dude why don’t you try Priceline? While the movie breaks into a mind-numbingly boring walking montage and it’s not like he’s out looking for the hotel either. Just aimlessly walking to random places as if they matter I suppose….expect no they don’t just complete waste of runtime. Movie you’re starting to remind me of Legend of Chun-Li NOT A GOOD SIGN! Kazuya is contacted by Rhona to kill yet another random guy who’s not from the games, I don’t care moving on. He heads to a nightclub where the target is a regular there. However, the target spots Kazuya and sends down his bodyguards. Unfortunately that was no good as Kazuya just magically shows in the VIP room, kills the target and then magically leaves the room without even fighting the bodyguards. Well this movie does a good job of building tension and suspense now does it…..and yes that was sarcasm. And just what were the bodyguards doing when their boss was being killed, giving Ladyboys blowjobs?

Kazuya returns home telling Rhona that he wants out but she responds that the only way out is in a body-bag. Laura shows up asking Kazuya to join her for dinner; as a thank you for the other day. Kazuya refused but changes his mind after Rhona tells him not to get attached. There’s definitely gonna be a sense of irony later. The two are having dinner and having conversion until Laura notices Kazuya’s arm bleeding (he got cut by one of the two assholes during the fight). After Laura stiches him up, Kazuya just leaves and goes back to his place. The follow morning Kazuya goes on his boring walking montage again but this time he finds the hotel from earlier. And this leads up to…..abso-fucking-lutely nothing only that his initials are K M. Oh gee I wonder what they stand for? Seriously this movie thinks it’s being clever and mysterious with the main character; especially when the character’s name is in the title of the movie. EPIC FUCKING FAIL! Cut to Kazuya back home pissed off until Rhona enters the room with another kill job. But this time it’s to kill Bryan Fury, yes the same Bryan Fury from the first movie. And yes that is Gary Daniels reprising the role. Though it’s too bad that he’s NOTHING LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE! At this point this movie clocks around at 55 minutes and so far there are only three characters from the games. And that’s just really sad.

A little bit later Kazuya tracks down Bryan and follows him; he seems to have lost him until Bryan sneaks behind him. The two start fighting which to be fair this is a good fight scene. Because unfortunately this is the ONLY fight scene that has two characters from the game fighting each other and I’ll get to what I mean by that later. In the middle of the fight Kazuya notices the Minister’s mark on Bryan’s arm; meaning that he use to work for him. Bryan soon overpowers Kazuya and defeats him but instead of finishing Kazuya off he just says they’ll meet again and walks away. Kazuya returns home as Rhona waits to kill him for botching the mission. Kazuya believes that he and Rhona can walk away from the Minister as well but Rhona doesn’t believe so. Stating that being on the run from the Minister’s killers is no freedom. Kazuya convinces Rhona to talk to the Minister to buy some time on finding Bryan and she leaves. Kazuya goes to Laura for help on something; since she’s good at patching people up she may be good at the opposite. As in taking things out of people surgically speaking that is; specifically the explosive implanted into Kazuya. Laura proceeds to removing the explosive and successfully takes it out with no difficulty whatsoever. So apparently the Minister didn’t install any measures to prevent the explosive from being removed, like a heart monitor or something? And that anyone working under him can easily get someone to take it out with no problems at all? So in case you haven’t figured it out the Minister is made of stupid. Kazuya recovers shortly thereafter upon which he and Laura start making out. I guess surgically removing bombs turns them on???

Anyway after that scene Kazuya is awakening by Bryan speaking via hacked radiowaves, electricity and UHF channels. And how the fuck does that work is beyond me so I’m just gonna call bullshit. And apparently Bryan has a camera in Kazuya’s room which means he may have seen him and Laura having sex. Fucking pervert. Bryan informs Kazuya that the Minister is not the righteous man he claims to be. Noooooo, really? I’ve never would guess that, do go on. Kazuya doesn’t believe him but Bryan shows him a fake news report saying that one of the guys Kazuya killed was an undercover cop. Apparently the Minister is pissed and is after Kazuya but Bryan suggested that he strike first before hanging up. Kazuya gets a text from Rhona asking him to meet her but Laura tells not to go that it may be a trap and just leave with her. But he goes anyway promising Laura that he’ll be back and go together. Kazuya meets up with Rhona at a restaurant informed that the Minister wants him dead and Rhona was gonna do the job. However, Kazuya tells her that the explosive is removed. Rhona is curious of why he still showed up and Kazuya replies that he wants answers and he believes in her. He speculates that Rhona had the chance to kill Kazuya but she didn’t. She didn’t even take the chance to kill him and Bryan; speaking of which. Bryan shows up with a fake newspaper this time about Rhona murdering the “undercover cop”. So apparently the Minister doesn’t give a shit for neither of them now. Rhona decides to take him out as Bryan just leaves off-screen like he’s fucking Batman. Later at the Minister’s place Kazuya and Rhona show up…..only to have Rhona literally stab him in the back. Yeah, that’s how pitiful the villain is in this movie. No epic hero villain standoff just a simple shank to the spine and they leave. EPIC TENSION BUILD UP, WHAT’S THAT?!

Anyway Kazuya and Rhona return to his place only to find it ransacked and Laura gone. Kazuya spots a GenTek Factory business knifed to the wall indicating that she must’ve been taken there. Ah fuck it I’m just gonna say it….IT’S A TRAP! The two head to the GenTek Factory to rescue Laura; Kazuya takes out a few guards and enters the building. Rhona goes off fighting one of the Minister’s slutty hencewomen….yeah I know that sounds mean but the movie never identifies them by their names so I don’t even care to look them up. Anyway Rhona takes her out with a quick jab to the throat and takes out the other one with choke-slam hold….I think. The movie just cuts away as soon as she has her in a hold. At this point the movie is just failing at creating tension; only differing from decent to lazy. Back inside Kazuya final confronts Heihachi and here is where the bullshit takes flight. Heihachi goes on a long boring exposition dump but I’ll summarize for the sake of time. Apparently he considers Kazuya as weak willed to be a weapon; that he’s incapable to kill without mercy. Kazuya starts to remember and we start seeing flashback of him angry at Heihachi. For what reason I don’t know and what did Heihachi do to piss him off the movie got very vague on the details. All we get from the flashback is when Kazuya had his memories erased due to having weak mind as Heihachi puts it. Kazuya is ready to fight him but Heihachi shows him a surprise in the form of Laura who was working for Heihachi all this time. And before we get an explanation on why she’s immediately killed by Heihachi. OK so what was the fucking point of this character if you’re just gonna kill her off for no reason whatsoever? And just what was her purpose in this plan of Heihachi’s; seduce the pants out of Kazuya? Well I guess she must’ve failed considering Heihachi killed her now. That or this movie just stopped caring at this point. Also did Heihachi just killed her with a kiss? Is this fucking Lifeforce all of sudden? Is he now a fucking space vampire?

OK enough bullshit we just want to see the two Mishimas fight. To finally see these two bitter rivals fighting to the death. Now that would be awesome to see except for onnnnnnnnnnnne small problem and you probably won’t believe it but. WE DON’T GET TO SEE THE FUCKING FIGHT!!!! That’s right this movie is so piss poor bad that we don’t get to see a Kazuya Heihachi fight scene. And I can’t believe I’m saying this but this movie is lazier than Legend of Chun-Li. So instead Heihachi who somehow jump cuts up to some stairs (OK how the fuck did he do that, does he possess the Devil-Gene now?) And just leaves two random guys to fight Kazuya. But you know what I’m too piss off of this bullshit that I’m just gonna skip the final fight scene. Oh yeah, if this movie doesn’t give a shit then I don’t give a shit either. You can go watch this piece of shit and see this fight yourself. As for me FUCK THIS MOVIE SKIPPING TO THE END! So after that storm of bullshit we cut to Heihachi monologuing to himself on a rooftop glaring at his city. Uhhhhhhhh…..because he’s Batman………. Oh whatever this shit is over with and so am I.

My Final Verdict: Not since Speed of Thought have I ever come across a movie this so ungodly boring. Seriously I had to leave out so many scenes that were just dragging this movie’s runtime so obnoxiously that I would’ve ended up spending forever reviewing this thing. I don’t mind if an action movie is cheesy or bad but I refuse to have any action movie to be so fucking boring in the process. This movie clocks in at 1:28:51 yet it felt I sat through three hours of this shit and given how much barely happens it really didn’t need to feel that way. The Raid 2 didn’t felt this dragged out and that movie clocked in around 2 hours at least. It’s just so shameful that the first movie managed to have most of the characters from the games yet this film only bothers to have three characters. And none of them aren’t like from the games nor from the first movie for that matter. The biggest problem with most prequels that barely stay in continuity to the first established movie; Kazuya’s Revenge is no exception. Like the audience is supposed to believe that somewhere between movies Kazuya evolves from a kind-hearted person to a grade A douchebag. That’s a lot bullshit to swallow that it’s just not funny anymore. It’s nice to see Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa reprising the role as Heihachi Mishima unfortunately he’s brutally put to waste in this movie. He’s pretty much reduced to voice-overs and just stands off in the background doing nothing. I’m calling bullshit on the movie’s subtitle; I mean revenge on whom exactly sure as fuck wasn’t on Heihachi. What you mean those two random guys were supposed to count for Kazuya getting revenge? Well one BULLSHIT and two KAZUYA’S REVENGE MY ASS!

Dear god this movie is such a piece of shit that I need a good 90s cheesy action flick to get the shit-taste out of my mouth. And I think I know the perfect one that fits the bill. So go make some dinner reservations folks because next time we’re diving into TC 2000. Stay tuned.