New Years Eve Review 2013

Well as 2013 is coming to a close I'll just give an overall review of films I've seen this year.

World's End: My god the humor is flipping endlessly hilarious, just non-stop comedy at its best.

Elysium: It was a fun film was pretty much watching a video game movie just less made of stupid.

The Wolverine: It was pretty good the fight scenes are better and the story wasn't a slapped together glob of plotholes.

Pacific Rim: I'll put it like this....Gundam, Macross, Voltron.....MAKE THESE FILMS HAPPEN! If Guillermo Del Toro can get giant robots right then just maybe there is hope.

This Is The End: It's not bad really it's one of those "shut off your brain" films. Most of the comedy in it are pretty funny and you really don't wanna mess with a fire ax wielding Emma Watson. Just throwing that out there.

Iron Man 3: Worth watching however, I think The Mandarin really didn't need to be in the film given how the film actually plays out differently from the trailer. But I understand why the film went this way so I'm not that disappointed, surprised and confused but not disappointed. And Also Pepper Potts is a bad ass so there's that to forward to.

Oblivion: It's rather a good looking film.

Evil Dead 2013: Despite my personal protest I went to see it and........................it's really good........it didn't piss me off I enjoy it. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW GUYS?

G.I. Joe Retaliation:.....FRAKING A, it's like they took the flaws from the first movie and improved them. As much as I like the first movie this one is AWESOME.

Man of Steel: I feel I owe this film an apology. I have no words of how amazing Man of Steel, Zach Snyder in his own prerogative does his best representation of Superman. Where as Superman Returns fails because of how Bryan Singer tries to emulate what Richard Donner did.

The Film Vindicator Review: Bones

And welcome back everyone let’s take a look at Bones. Open with a man running away from a dog hauling ass back to his place. The man makes it to his place heading up stairs; armed with a rifle (which looks more like a bb gun) the man fires at the dog but doesn’t fazes it at all. Holy crap it’s Zuul. Cut to two guys arriving in front of a house for a drug deal. They meet up with two other guys and are told to look for the drugs behind a loose brick at the side of the house. As soon as they found the drugs they hear their car alarm go off and quickly run back but are spotted by the cops. The two decided to run into the house trying to hide from them. One cop goes in after them but the other cop being very insist keeps telling him there’s no one in the house and the two leave. Believing that they’re now safe, the two guys look around the place until one of them is attacked and bitten by the “Zuul” dog. Not wanting to hang around any longer, the two were about leave until they saw a dark shadow appearing on wall. The make a run towards the door and made it on the front porch; the man with the rifle sees them out the window trying to warn them to get away from the house. They ignore his warning and the two get a ZUUL MOTHERFUCKERS ZUUL as they are drag back into house and are mauled to death. Cut to next day we’re introduced to Patrick Peet (played by Khalil Kain), his step-sister Tia Peet (played by Katharine Isabelle), his brother Bill Peet (played by Merwin Mondesir) and Maurice (played by Sean Amsing) who have arrived at Zuul’s house. Apparently they want to start an indie nightclub at the obviously haunted house. Yeah $50 bucks saying that things are gonna go bat shit for these guys. It turns out this house use to belong to a Jimmy Bones which the name sounds familiar to Patrick. Apparently Jimmy Bones was some big neighborhood heart of gold person back in the 70s. They continue inspecting the house; Patrick finds the furnace and switches it on. Tia is looking around the house and gets spooked by the Zuul dog; she feeds it with a burger and we see a ghostly POV zooming to a locked door in the basement. And behind the locked door we zoom to a shallow grave; later the teens are leaving the house along with the Zuul dog which Tia names it Bones. The man with the rifle yells out the window warning the teens to shoot the dog. Of course they completely ignore his warning and are about to head out; they’re approached by some woman named Pearl (played by Pam Grier) and her daughter Cynthia (played by Bianca Lawson) warning them not to feed the dog. Saying something that some hungers can’t be satisfied and the dog will only get even hungrier. And with that Patrick and Maurice decided to help woman and daughter with their groceries. OK some crazy comes up to you and says crazy things to you and your first reaction is to help with the groceries. Kind of a stalker move if you ask me besides they’re only carrying three small bags it’s not like they’re carrying armfuls of groceries. Patrick seems to look familiar to the woman and she asks him if he was from the neighborhood. Patrick tells her that he was born in the neighborhood but him and his father moved out when his mother died. Cut to Patrick and the others return to their parents’ house where we’re introduced to their father Jeremiah Peet (played by Clifton Powell) who gets spooked by the dog when Tia calls it by its name. This triggers Jeremiah to have a flashback where he and Jimmy Bones were talking about some deal that would move them to the top. But Jimmy doesn’t want that and prefers to stay with the neighborhood. The flashback ends with Jeremiah looking at an officer Lupovich (played by Michael T. Weiss) as we transition to present day Lupovich talking to Eddie Mack (played by Ricky Harris). They make their business deal and Lupovich leaves but soon stops when Eddie asked why Jeremiah sold Jimmy’s house.

Cut to Jeremiah’s place where he gets a knock on the door and it’s Lupovich. Lupovich asked why he sold Jimmy’s house but Jeremiah wasn’t aware that the house was bought. Lupovich is worried but Jeremiah is confident that no one won’t find anything that would trace back to them. The next day we see the teens renovating the house; Patrick is approached by Cynthia and the two of them start connecting. Cut to Pearl’s place where she’s talking to Cynthia telling her to stay away the house. Pearl gets a flashback to where she and Jimmy was a couple; Pearl reads Jimmy’s palms and notice a line crossing his lifeline. Indicating that something bad may happen to Jimmy and ask him not to go to the meeting with Jeremiah but he refuses to listen and the flashback ends. Later despite her mother’s warning Cynthia returns to the house; Patrick and the others find a small pool of blood. Hope it’s not Chris’s blood. They go to the basement to check the plumbing only to find blood dripping out of a pipe. Watch Evil Dead much? They found the locked door which leads further down after they open it; they come upon nothing until the Zuul dog uncovers the remains of Jimmy Bones. Tia wants to call the police but the others wish to wait until after their nightclub premieres otherwise they won’t get the permit if they call the cops. Maurice plays the douchebag card by taking Jimmy’s ring from his literally cold dead hand. Cut to Patrick and Cynthia connecting further until they start making out until Cynthia wanted to stop. Cut back to Pearl’s place where she’s having a séance with her customers. Meanwhile Cynthia is sleeping in one of the rooms at Jimmy’s house; a figure enters the room sleeping next to Cynthia while she thinks it’s Patrick. The figure starts groping Cynthia until she starts feeling uncomfortable; sudden she’s being smothered by bed sheets. Meanwhile Pearl breaks into a seizure seeing mental images; she finally snaps out while Cynthia breaks free from the bed sheets. Pearl arrives at the house to get Cynthia warning the teens one last time to get out. Cut to next day the teens have completed the renovation and are ready to open their nightclub Illbient. Patrick brings over his father to show him the nightclub; upon arriving Jeremiah is bothered that his son brought the same house he kept under wraps. He’s not all please of what Patrick is doing which is trying to bring a positive light to his father’s old neighborhood. They continue arguing until Jeremiah spots Pearl and the man with the rifle which triggers another flashback. In the flashback Jimmy is at the meeting with Jeremiah, Eddie and Lupovich with Shotgun (played by Ronald Selmour) (the man with the rifle) as Jimmy’s bodyguard. Jeremiah and the others want to bring in drugs in the neighborhood to make big money but Jimmy doesn’t want drugs come ruining the neighborhood so he refuses the offer. Eddie and Lupovich don’t agree with Jimmy’s decision and holds him and and Shotgun at gunpoint. They force Jimmy to try out they drug ending up getting really high for a first timer. Soon after Pearl arrives, Jimmy tries to fight them off with his switchblade but gets shot by Lupovich then he and Eddie both shoots him. Lupovich being a dirty cop devise a plan for all of them to stab him; make look like self-defense. Eddie and Jeremiah stabbed Jimmy with his own switchblade; Lupovich forces Shotgun to stab him. Lupovich then forces Pearl to stab Jimmy she hesitates but Jimmy lunges on to his knife and dies. Lupovich rips off Pearl’s bloody dress and has it buried along with Jimmy Bones. Cut back to present time as the Illbient open and booming; Cynthia shows up and she and Patrick started dancing together. Maurice is on stage as the club’s DJ until he spots a beautiful woman; he asked Bill to take over so he can handle some business. Maurice finds her in a room only to get a ZUUL MOTHERFUCKER ZUUL surprise as the woman turns into the Zuul dog and chows down on him. As he’s being eaten alive his flesh is being transfer to Jimmy’s retains reconstructing itself. Apparently this film watches Hellraiser as well. Anyway cut to Bill calling for Patrick to go check on Maurice; Patrick goes looking for him but finds Maurice dead. Patrick makes a run for it but gets knock down by the Zuul dog. The Zuul dog then pukes maggots all over Patrick, turns into vapor then goes enter the reconstructed body of Jimmy Bones. Jimmy Bones of Earth RISE……had to say it. Back on the dance floor maggots are raining from ceiling causing people to panic and run out of the club. Jimmy puts the flames out in the furnace, breaks light bulb then flips a light switch causing a gas explosion. Amongst the chaos Patrick runs back downstairs and heads out of the house along with Cynthia, Bill and Tia. Jimmy heads to the room where Maurice got eaten and kindly takes back his ring. Hey karma fairy nice to see you again. Outside as the house burns down Pearl stands in shock as she sees the now relived Jimmy before he disappears.

Back at Pearl’s she revealed to Cynthia that Jimmy Bones is her father and you know the drill insert your own Empire Strikes Back joke here. Later at Shotgun’s place he’s visited by Jimmy whose very upset that Shotgun didn’t died with him or died trying. Shotgun shoots him but gets his throat cut and bleeds to death as Jimmy sings to him. Cut to Eddie’s place where he’s done having sex with a hooker; the hooker walks off and Eddie later follows but finds her dead in a garbage can. Eddie is confronted by Jimmy and starts shooting but with no affect. Jimmy telekinetically throws mirror shards at Eddie pinning him against the wall then cuts he head off. This leads up to a rather hilarious scene of Jimmy carrying the talking head of Eddie Mack. Meanwhile Lupovich gets a call from “Eddie” to meet him at some location; Lupovich goes to this location and finds a pile of drugs. He is confronted by Jimmy and with a sense of irony gets forced to smoke a drug and his mouth is sealed shut. Jimmy places Lupovich on a hook starts gutting him like an overweight fish. Cut to Pearl and Cynthia arriving at Jeremiah trying to warn him but they arrive too late as Jeremiah is taken by Jimmy. Jeremiah and the talking heads of Eddie and Lupovich are taken to Jimmy’s house which became some gateway to a city of the dead since his death. One at a time Jimmy throws Jeremiah, Eddie and Lupovich into this gateway. Patrick, Cynthia, Pearl and Bill show up at Jimmy’s house; Pearl believes that Jimmy’s blood is a conduit that’s keeping him alive and that getting rid of the blood will kill him. They enter through the cellar door to where Jimmy’s remains are buried only to find it missing along with Pearl’s blood stained dress. An elevator comes down to the cellar and Pearl enters on in being separated from Patrick and the others. She ends up in the same room where Jimmy died as he awaits for her. Patrick and the others climb up the elevator shaft and made it to the first floor of the house which looks more like Satan’s TARDIS. They head upstairs and come across “Maurice”; Bill follows “Maurice” while Patrick and Cynthia just stand there. Hey Patrick you know Maurice is dead right? And I’m pretty sure Bill knows that he’s dead I mean you did told him right? Even Cynthia knows this as she just said “that’s not Maurice”. So instead of standing there like idiots how about you two go stop him. No…..you’re not gonna stop him Patrick you just gonna let your own brother go off and get killed. OK….asshole. And like so Bill dies by being torn apart by ghostly figures as Patrick and Cynthia run off trying to save him. Yeah assholes you’re a little late to even give two shits about your own flesh and blood. When they made it to where Jimmy and Pearl are Cynthia goes to join her family. Patrick is about to attack Jimmy but ends up in a stranglehold by Jimmy. Pearl while in the bloody dress snaps out of her trace grabs a candle and sets herself on fire. Jimmy lets go of Patrick and runs to embrace the burning Pearl dying together. With the bloody dress destroyed the city of the dead starts to crumble while Patrick and Cynthia make their way out of the place. The film ends with the two made it outside but only for Patrick getting a surprise as Cynthia gives an evil look and pukes maggots towards the camera.

My Final Verdict: Though this film maybe silly I wouldn’t say it’s terrible; at least it’s not as terrible as Jennifer’s Body. And at least Snoop Dogg makes some effort of being scary whereas Megan Fox from Jennifer’s Body still acts like an airhead fuckwit after she becomes a demon. The dialogues aren’t as jaded and stupid as Steel and the performance are OK at best.

Well folks as this review is over 2013 is soon to be coming to a close so I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stay tuned for 2014 as we drive into The Host and sadly I’m not referring to the 2006 South Korean one.

The Film Arsenal: The Golden Gun

Made its first and only appearance in the 1974 Bond film The Man With The Golden Gun as the perfect assassination weapon for Francisco Scaramanga (played by Christopher Lee). The Golden Gun’s appearance from the novel to the film had went through some major changes; in the novel it was just a gold-plated .45 caliber revolver that fires gold dum-dum bullets. While in the film it’s a custom built single shot gun that fires a custom made 4.2 millimeter golden dum-dum bullet. The gun itself is an assembly of four component parts which when the gun is disassemble they appear as four innocuous golden items. The pen (the gun barrel), the lighter (the slide out and breech chamber), cigarette case (the gun handle and trigger housing) and the cufflink (the gun trigger). This method of gun assembly and disassembly is perfect for evading security or unsuspecting targets. The Golden Gun may not be so threatening with its only one shot but in the hands of Scaramanga it can be an instant kill shot weapon. The Man With The Golden Gun maybe the least popular film in the franchise but it brought us one of the most unique weapons in the Bond franchise used by one of the most greatest actors of all time.

The Film Vindicator Review: Don't Say a Word

Hey everyone welcome back and Happy Thanksgiving so today we take a look at Don’t Say a Word. What….it’s got Thanksgiving in it, there’s a parade, turkey, and……other stuff. This film totally counts as a Thanksgiving film right….right SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME DAMN IT!

We open in Williamsburg, Brooklyn 1991 where five thieves are waiting outside of a bank for a certain item to arrive via armored truck. After the armored truck leaves the five thieves immediately make their move. They have the bank completely held up rather easily and two of the thieves Patrick Koster (played by Sean Bean) and Russel Maddox(played by Shawn Doyle) head straight to the vault. These guys should be thankful that they’re not in The Dark Knight otherwise they might get really screwed if a bunch of bank tellers came at them with shotguns. They’ve search for a specific safety deposit box and acquired the item they came for; a rare $10 million red gem. Russel puts the gem in the bag and gives it to Patrick; all five thieves leave the bank, split up to two groups and make their escape. As Patrick and his group are driving away he looks into the bag to find the gem not inside but just a regular jewelry. Apparently Russel made a switch back at the bank and he and his accomplice are now escaping with the gem. Cut to ten years later we’re introduced to a Dr. Nathan R. Conrad (played by Michael Douglas) who is a prominent child psychiatrist. After he calls his wife Aggie Conrad (played by Famke Janssen)(who is bedridden due to her broken leg) and his daughter Jessie Conrad (played by Skye McCole Bartusiak) he gets a page and heads to the Bridgeview Psychiatric Hospital. There he meets up with a Dr. Louis Sachs (played by Oliver Platt) who asks Nathan to examine one of his patients. An eighteen year old girl who’s been suffering Post Traumatic Stress and other mental disorders after witnessing her father’s death at age 8. And for the past ten years hasn’t been violent until now. Nathan refuses at first but Sachs convinces him to help her because otherwise she’ll be shipped off to another facility to be chained up for life. Nathan finally agrees and goes off to see the girl Elisabeth Burrows (played by Brittany Murphy). After a small examination Nathan concludes that there’s more to her than Sachs is telling. Elisabeth finally speaks before Nathan leaves the room stating “You want what they want”. Nathan asked her who’s they she’s referring to but she keeps replying “I’ll never tell” so he leaves, heading home. Cut to an old lady’s apartment as she prepares an evening snack until she hears a noise at the door. She goes to take a look only to see the locks on the door being picked from the outside. The door swings open to reveal that it’s Patrick and the two other thieves Dolen (played by Guy Torry) and Max (played by Conrad Goode). The old lady is killed by Max off screen while Patrick and Dolen setup shop. Evil bastards. Later we cut to a crime scene near bridge where we’re introduced to a detective Sandra Cassidy (played by Jennifer Esposito). Sandra checks on a dead body of an unidentified young woman apparently had been tied up judging by the marks on her wrists.

The next morning is Thanksgiving and Nathan is making breakfast; after serving Aggie her breakfast he goes to wake up Jessie but she’s not in her room. Nathan goes looking for her all over the apartment but hasn’t found her. He gets rather worry and was about to go outside but notices on the door that the chain lock has been cut. Nathan indicates that someone may have broken in and abducted Jessie; as he about to call the police his call is intercepted by Patrick. He tells Nathan that they have Jessie and will kill her if he calls the police or tells anyone. Patrick then tells him that he will be watched no matter where he goes. Nathan is informed that his patient Elisabeth has a six digit number buried in her mind and Patrick wants him to get that number from her. Nathan has until 5PM today to get Elisabeth to give him the number otherwise Patrick will kill Jessie. Having no choice Nathan complies and heads back to Bridgeview. On his way to Bridgeview he gets blocked off by a parade but was able to get a police escort all the way to the hospital. While that’s going on Nathan is being followed by one of Patrick men. Nathan gets a call from Patrick on a cellphone that was planted in the car admiring him of what he just did. Nathan asks about the context of these numbers but Patrick response that Elisabeth knows. Nathan is not so sure if he can get her to remember these numbers on a short time limit especially given her ten years of PTS but Patrick believe he can. At Bridgeview Nathan goes into Sachs’ office going through a master file on Elisabeth until Sachs shows up. Nathan explains that she’s overlaying basically she’s been mimics symptoms of other patients a “copycat schizophrenic baby” as he puts it making her virtually unreadable by other doctors. Now her PTS is very real with her father’s and the belief that someone is after her; apparently she wants to be institutionalized to stay hidden…safe. Nathan goes to talk Elisabeth again this time she’s a bit more talkative. He gives her some of Jessie’s things including a doll which Elisabeth takes interest to. While they are talking it turns out her room is wired by Patrick and his men and is now listening in. Nathan asks her about the day her father died but Elisabeth has a breakdown screaming at Nathan to leave and he does. Cut to Nathan puking in the restroom feeling defeated that he may lose his daughter. After getting a call from Patrick he looks through Elisabeth’s files more closely and finds a newspaper clipping about a little girl found wondering on Hart Island. Elisabeth was that little girl who was on the island the same day her father died. Nathan tries talking to her again; he goes on about Jessie until Elisabeth asked about her. He tells that she’s been taken by the people who are after Elisabeth and that not only he’s here to help her but needs her help. Nathan tries to persuade Elisabeth to tell him the numbers but she continues to be evasive. Nathan starts to pressure her when asking what these numbers are for; a phone number, an address, an account, a code but Elisabeth lashes out at him. Nathan has a hold of her calming her down.

A little bit later Elisabeth gets flashbacks of her and her father on Thanksgiving; the father in question is revealed to be Russel the same guy who stolen the gem from Patrick. Outside of Elisabeth’s room Nathan is approached by Sachs with a syringe fill with 500 milligrams of sodium amytal. Nathan protests to use this method on Elisabeth but Sachs insists that she may be more cooperative this way. They’re interrupted by phone call coming from Sachs which Nathan recognizes the ring tone. Sachs hesitates to answer the phone but Nathan tells him to answer. Sachs pulls out the phone from his pocket it’s the same phone that Nathan has revealing that Sachs is under Patrick’s forceful employed. Nathan snatches the syringe and places it towards Sachs’ neck telling him to response to Patrick that everything is OK and he’s going to plan b; Sachs complies. After Sachs hangs up the phone Nathan demands why he’s doing this and Sachs replies that Patrick has his girlfriend Sarah. He says Patrick will kill her if he doesn’t get this number for him. Sachs is being called to his office to talk to a cop; Nathan tells him to keep his cool and try to get rid of the cop. Sachs goes to his office where detective Sandra is waiting for him. She asks a few questions about a young woman named Sarah (the dead woman at the morgue and Sachs’ girlfriend). He denies even knowing Sarah at all until Sandra shows him pictures of her including a picture of her on a slab at the morgue. Sachs is shocked that she’s dead and that Patrick had lied to him. Sandra continues to question Sachs showing profile pictures of Patrick and the other thieves. Still in shock and angry Sachs tells her that he and Patrick had a deal to get the number before 5PM and he’ll let Sarah go. But apparently Sachs didn’t know that Sarah was already dead. We’re cutting back to the thieves but I want to summarize something first in early scenes we see Jessie talking to one of the thieves Max. Eventually Max slowly warms up to Jessie over time; meanwhile she scoops out the room she’s in realizing they’re in an apartment below her parents’. This gives her an idea to sing a song to Max unnoticed to him that Aggie can hear her from a vent next to her bed. Unfortunately Patrick can hear Jessie via surveillance cameras in Nathan’s and Aggie’s room and runs into the bed room to stop her. Realizing where Jessie is and is OK, Aggie tries to play dumb in case she’s being watched but doesn’t work as Patrick can tell that she knows. With no choice the thieves leave the apartment taking Jessie with them. Patrick orders Dolen to go kill Aggie as she tries to break off her leg brace after she hears Jessie screaming. Back at Bridgeview Nathan sets he plan of getting Elisabeth out in motion; he’s stopped at the security area being refused to let out Elisabeth. He incapacitates the security guard with a syringe and then leaves the hospital. While at the same time Sandra tries to catch up with Nathan before he left the hospital but missed and puts out an APB.

Elisabeth gets another flashback this time of her father hiding the gem in her doll. Back at Nathan’s place Dolen enters the apartment looking for Aggie but gets a crutch to the face. A little bit later Aggie makes it to the apartment below to find it complete abandoned; she continues to look around finding the dead body of the old lady. She gets attacked from behind by Dolen as she was about to call the police. Aggie tries to struggle away from Dolen but he keeps her completely overpowered. He starts to strangle her as she continues struggling to fight back. Aggie manages to grab a blunt object and hits him upside the head. He quickly recovers and about to kill her but Aggie pulls out a rod from her leg cast and stabs Dolen dead. Nathan and Elisabeth arrive near Chinatown where she lives with her father; Elisabeth gets a flashback of her and her father walking down the street until they’re spotted by Patrick and his gang. The flashback continues with Elisabeth and her father running away as Patrick and the others give chase. Cut to real time Nathan and Elisabeth head down to a subway station where in the flashback she and her father run down into the same subway station. Continuing with the flashback Elisabeth is told by her father to hide behind a pillar as she father is caught by Patrick and the others. Continuing with the flashback Elisabeth watches as her father being threaten to tell Patrick where the gem is but doesn’t tell him. Patrick gets mad and pushes her father on the subway tracks. Her father tries to get off the tracks but gets run over by an oncoming train as when cut to real time with Elisabeth screaming over the event. Nathan asks her what did Patrick want and she replies her doll which the gem is inside of. Elisabeth goes to a map and point to where her doll is which is on Hart Island where she was found. Later Patrick calls Nathan on his progress; he tells Patrick he got the number but wants to give it to him in person. Patrick refuses but Nathan insist that they should meet if he wants the number; leaving Patrick no choice to agree. Nathan and Elisabeth arrive at a pier and commandeer a boat to Hart Island.

After they arrive they head to Potter’s Field cemetery where they meet up Patrick and the other. They both pieced together that the number has to be a location to a grave site so it’s up to Nathan to find out which one with Elisabeth’s help. Back on the mainland Sandra arrives at the pier where Nathan commandeers the boat out to Hart Island so she immediately follows suit. Back on the island Nathan performs one last session Elisabeth which leads to another flashback of her on a ferry boat where her father is being transported. A couple of ferrymen find her trying to open her father’s casket to put her doll inside. They help her to open it up for to do so and closed it back up. The flashback continues at the grave site on Hart Island where her father is being buried as she watches. The flashback ends as we cut to real time when Elisabeth starts writing the number she saw on her father’s casket 815508. So finally with the number in hand all except for Elisabeth and Jessie head off to the grave site; once there they dug open the casket and obtain the gem. All seems well however, Patrick goes back on his word and order Max to kill Nathan. As max is about to shoot Nathan he quickly grabs a shovel knocks the gun out of Max’s hand and a fight breaks out. Nathan holds up against Max until he’s eventually overpowered; Max puts him a bear hug but Nathan gets loose by slamming dirt on Max’s eyes. Nathan is about to kill him but hesitates so Patrick shoots Max dead on spot. Meanwhile Sandra hears the gunshots and finds them at the grave site. Patrick is about to shoot Nathan but is stopped by Sandra; Patrick’s last lackey is about to shoot her but she guns him down first. Patrick draws his gun on Sandra and shoots her but she only gets wounded. Nathan attacks Patrick knocking the gun out of his hand; Nathan quickly gets the gun and has Patrick at gunpoint. Nathan ask him was it all worth it for one gem and Patrick answers yes. Nathan throws the gem in a trench then kicks Patrick into the trench; he gets a spare gun off Max and shoots at Nathan. Nathan sets off a winch that drops some lumber on Patrick but he moves out of the way. However, this causes the trench to start collapsing burying Patrick alive. The film ends with Nathan finally reunited with Jessie along with Aggie; Sandra is taken to the hospital and Elisabeth is free from this 10 year nightmare.

My Final Verdict: I find this film more of a popcorn flick something to just shut off your brain sit back and watch it. The story feels down to earth in its execution and gets rather intense at most parts. The biggest positive from this film is Brittany Murphy’s performance; I’ve barely follow her career and performance but here she is just phenomenal. She plays such a convincing character of Elisabeth it’s downright terrifying and not just because of the character’s insanity. Hell when I think about when Elisabeth goes crazy she’s still somewhat rational whereas Bella Swan’s rationality just crawls off died before and after she goes psychotically obsessed with Edward Cullen. It’s a real shame that Brittany Murphy passed away in 2009 soon after she gained recognition in her career. And just to throw this out it’s nice to see Famke Janssen and Sean Bean in the same film again since GoldenEye. I really don’t have a joke there just thought it was something you should know.

The year is almost up but there are still a few films to review stay tuned next time as we look into Bones…..no not the one with David Boreanaz the horror film one… You know the one with Snoop Dogg……this film might get stupid.

TFV: Jamie Lee Curtis Month Review: Halloween

So here we are one of the classic horror films of all time, was considered to be one of John Carpenter’s best films and has made Jamie Lee Curtis one the most recognizable Scream Queens of all time.

We open in Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween night 1963; the next few minutes are a POV shot of someone walking among a house watching over a teen couple inside as they head upstairs. The POV enters the house through the back door and into the kitchen; there we see a hand opening a drawer and pulls out a kitchen knife. The POV continues through the house as we see the teen boy leaves the house and POV goes upstairs. We see the POV picking up a clown mask and put it on. The POV enters the teen girl’s room as she’s brushing her while naked. The teen girl sees this person, shouts out the name Michael and the POV stabs her to death. The POV quickly heads downstairs and out the door; the POV is stopped by two people one of whom removes the mask to reveal in normal view that it’s a young boy Michael Myers. Cut to fifteen years later in Smith’s Grove, Illinois we’re introduced to Dr. Samuel Loomis (played by Donald Pleasence) accompanied by an assisting nurse heading to a mental institution in a dark and stormy night. ……….What it is. They’re gonna pick up Michael Myers to be put in front of a county judge but Loomis doesn’t want Michael to be let out. As they arrived at the mental institution they see institution patients roaming the grounds. Loomis tells the nurse to stop at the main gate; he makes a call to the institution as the nurse is being attacked by the now adult Michael Myers. The nurse gets out of the car unknowingly allowed Michael to get in the car and drives off. Cut to Haddonfield and its Halloween where we’re introduced to Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) who’s off to drop a key off at the Myers house. She’s accompanied by young boy Tommy Doyle (played by Brian Andrews) asking Laurie if she’s coming over to babysit tonight; she says yes. As she drops off the key on the porch a figure is watching her as she heads to school. Later at the school Laurie is in class listening to a lecture until she looks out window and spots a car across the street. The same car that Michael escape from the mental institution last night; Laurie is distracted by her teacher to answer a question. As she looks back out the window the car is already gone. Cut to an elementary school where Tommy is leaving the school carrying a pumpkin but is confronted by bullies and ends up losing his pumpkin. As Tommy leaves the school grounds, he’s being stalked by Michael for a while until before driving off. Miles outside of Haddonfield Loomis makes a call from a payphone to the Haddonfield police station; warning the sheriff that Michael Myers is coming. Afterwards he comes across an abandon pickup truck and finds a patient gown. As he leaves the camera pans off to a dead body of the truck driver. Cut to Laurie leaving school with her friends Annie Brackett (played by Nancy Kyes) and Lynda van der Klok (played by P.J. Soles); they walk along home until Laurie spots the same car from earlier. The car starts to speed away but suddenly stops when Annie makes a sly remark; the car then slowly drives away. Lynda goes home while Laurie and Annie are walking along when suddenly Laurie spots Michael standing in the distance then hides behind some brushes. Gees this guy sure gets around now does he? Annie goes over to check behind the brushes but sees no one at all. OK now I believe that Michael Myers is a freaking ninja. Hang on let me see if I got Pierre Kirby on speed dial? Annie tries to mess with Laurie that it’s some guy who wants to talk to her and she falls for it. Laurie has enough of her shenanigans and heads on home.

Cut to a cemetery where Loomis is investigating Judith Myers’ grave only to find her tombstone missing. A little later Laurie is picked up by Annie to heads off to Tommy’s place. On the way over Laurie and Annie decide to smoke a good joint but Annie spots her sheriff dad at a hardware store and quickly gets rid of the joint. They stop in front of the store and asked Sheriff Leigh Brackett (played by Charles Cyphers) what happened. He answered that some kids may have broken in and stole some rope, a mask and a couple of knives. The girls go ahead and drive off as Loomis shows up about to talk to Sheriff Brackett. While this is going on Michael is stalking the girls in his car until Annie drops Laurie off at Tommy’s house then she pulls over at a house across the street. Michael gets out of the car and proceeds to watch over Annie as enters a house to babysit Lindsey Wallace (played by Kyle Richards). We cut to Loomis and Sheriff Brackett investigating the Myers’ house; apparently Michael has been dwelling here for some time. Sheriff Brackett asked Loomis about Michael and he responds that he was Michael’s doctor for fifteen years. When he first met Michael Loomis was told that there was nothing left of him; no reason, no conscious, no understanding. Eight years he tried to reach Michael and another seven to keep him locked up realizing that what’s inside of Michael is simply evil. Sheriff Brackett wants to notify the radio and TV stations but Loomis wants to this quiet just have the sheriff’s men keep an eye out for Michael. Cut to Tommy’s house Laurie reads a story to Tommy until she gets a call from Annie. As she’s talking to Annie Tommy goes looking out the window and sees a dark figure standing across the street (Michael). Thinking that it’s the “Boogeyman” Tommy gets scare and tells Laurie to look outside; she complies but sees nothing out the window. Back at Lindsey’s house Annie makes a mess on her clothes in the kitchen, starts stripping and puts on a button shirt. While that’s going on Michael is stalking around outside the house; watching Annie through the window. Annie goes to a small laundry house in the backyard; she gets locked in as she puts her clothes in the washer. Annie tries to get out via small window but gets stuck; Lindsey gets a call from Annie’s boyfriend Paul asking for Annie. She goes to looking for Annie at the laundry house; she gets Annie unstuck and the two head back to the house. Annie gets on the phone and talks to Paul; he tells her that his parents are out of town having the house to himself. He asked Annie to come pick him up but she’s babysitting Lindsey; so Annie decides to drop off Lindsey with Laurie. Anne gets to her car but forgot her keys; she goes to get the keys and heads back to the car. As she’s about start her car Michael pops out from the backseat and strangles Annie to death. Back at Tommy’s place he tries to pull a prank on Lindsey by hiding behind the window curtain but backfires when Tommy sees Michael carrying Annie’s body into Lindsey’s house. Tommy panics and Laurie comes running; he keeps saying that the Boogeyman’s outside but Laurie sees nothing. Later Lynda and her boyfriend Bob arrived at Lindsey’s house about to have sex not even noticing Michael Myers standing right there watching them. Pervert. After Lynda calls Laurie wondering where Annie, she and Bob head up stairs and have sex. Afterwards Lynda asked Bob to get some beer and he complies. Down in the kitchen Bob managed to grab some beers but gets attacked by Michael. He has Bob slammed to some closet doors by throat then stabs him in the gut with a kitchen knife having Bob pinned to the doors. Eh it’s better than thumb tacks. A little bit later Lynda is waiting on her until “Bob” shows up in a bed sheet with eye holes cut in (a cheap way at a ghost costume as it were). Lynda asked her beer but “Bob” doesn’t respond; she gets pissed off and goes to call Laurie. As she’s waiting for Laurie to answer the phone, Michael slowly walks towards Lynda. As Laurie answers the phone Michael strangles Lynda from behind with the phone cord. Laurie listens to the noise and thinks that it’s Annie messing around on the phone. Michael continues strangling Lynda until she’s stops moving and is now dead. All goes quiet on Laurie’s end trying to get a response but no one is answering. At the Myers’ home Loomis still waits for Michael; he soon spots the stolen car and is for certain that Michael Myers is close by and goes searching for him.

With Tommy and Lindsey already in bed, Laurie is growing concern of what’s going on and decide to head over Lindsey’s house. Laurie gets no answer as she knocks on the door; she goes to the back of the house and enters through the backdoor. Laurie calls out Annie and Lynda but doesn’t get a response; she then goes upstairs only to find Annie’s dead body and Judith Myers’ tombstone display on the bed. Laurie starts to panic at the site of it all until she comes across Bob’s body hanging upside down in the closet and Lynda stuffed in a cupboard. Laurie continues to panic, confused of what’s going on. Michael appears behind her only grazing her in the arm with a knife causing her to fall down the stairs spraining her leg. She manages to get up and make a run to the front door as Michael starts to chase her. Laurie has trouble with the front door…..for some reason and makes a dash to the back door. She makes it outside before Michael enters the kitchen; as fast as she could Laurie makes it to Tommy’s house. However, she left the house key at Lindsey’s house resorting to throw a flower pot near Tommy’s bedroom window which wakes him up. As Tommy heads downstairs to let Laurie in, Michael just takes his sweet time walking across the street. You know for a guy who can probably teleport in a blink of an eye he sure is a slow ass walker. Anyway Tommy lets Laurie in the house and she immediately locks the door; she then tells Tommy to go hide upstairs. Laurie tries to call the police but the phone line is dead; she noticed a window in the living room is open believe that Michael is in the house. Only armed with one of those long needlepoints, Laurie holds up at a couch when Michael pops out behind the couch to stab her but misses. Laurie quickly stabs him in on the side of the neck and Michael falls to the ground. Laurie heads upstairs to check up on Tommy and Lindsey believing that she killed the “Boogeyman”. Well guess again; Laurie tells the kids to hide when Michael arrives upstairs. Laurie hides in a closet and seals the door shut; but this doesn’t stop Michael Myers as he HULK SMASHS the closet door. Laurie arms herself with a wire hanger….insert your own Mommie Dearest joke here….and pokes Michael in the eye. Michael gets disoriented enough for Laurie to grab the knife and stabs him in the chest. All seems over as Laurie tells the kids to head to a neighbor’s house and have them call the police. The kids run off leaving Laurie behind….with a still alive Michael Myers. OK I can figure out that Jason Voorhees is some sort of zombie which is why he takes so much punishment in all his films. But with Michael Myers he must have the magical resilience of Wile E Coyote. Loomis sees the kids running and screaming out of the house deducing that Michael is inside. Back in the house Michael jumps Laurie from behind strangling her. Laurie tries to fight him off to where she grabs his mask off revealing his face when Loomis shows up. Soon after Michael puts his mask back on, Loomis armed with a gun open fires. Michael retreats to a room and Loomis follows; he open fires again causing Michael to fall out of the window. The film ends with Laurie now safe and Loomis looking out the window only to find no dead body outside; Michael Myers is long gone.

My Final Verdict: ………Seriously what can I possibly say of what’s already been said by many of how good this film is. I mean you’re reading this review so it’s obvious you’re gonna go watch it anyway so what’s the point of me telling you to go see it. Though I will add that I’m not fond of the sequels; well except for Halloween II and III yeah I said it I enjoy Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Hey at least it ain’t like Friday the 13th Part V where the film fools us with a FAKE Jason Voorhees yet for some reason it gets a free pass and Halloween III doesn’t. It’s not the filmmakers fault to try something different but no everyone else just lost their shit about a film with no Michael Myers which led up to some rather loopy sequels. Hell one sequel explains that Michael was controlled by some occult….that’s deeply stupid. And of course there’s Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later where it does carry on from the first two films, had Jamie Lee Curtis reprised her role after 20 years and had a good closure to the franchise. That is until they decided to make another sequel that pissed all over that closure. Oh I’m supposed to believe that Michael Myers foreseen that he was gonna be killed by Laurie and magically switched places with a coroner…BULLSHIT! And worse of all Halloween Resurrection had absolutely nothing different or new to add; just a bunch of pointless characters being killed by Michael Myers on some reality TV shit. As for the 2007 remake I got a rather mixed feelings for it; one hand they try to add some mystery on Michael's past but misses the point at the same time. Jamie Lee Curtis up to this day is still in acting has done a few commercial here and there but has been making recurring appearances on NCIS as of late.

Well folks I hope it’s been a fun and scary ride for you all; so until next time have a safe and happy Halloween.

TFV: Jamie Lee Curtis Month Review: Prom Night

Apparently Jamie had a hell of a record of being in three horror films that came out in theaters on the same year 1980; The Fog, Terror Train, and today’s review Prom Night. We start off at an abandoned facility where four kids are playing a game of “Killer” (it’s sort of like Hide and Seek). Outside of the facility three siblings show up as they see one of the kids (Nick) hiding outside. One of the three siblings forgot their geography book and heads back to the school leaving only Robin and her twin brother Alex. Robin wants to join the other kids inside to play but Alex tells her that they don’t want her to join them. Robin doesn’t listen so Alex leaves her as she enters the abandoned facility. Robin wonders around the facility until she’s found by Nick who spooks her; afraid that the other kids may have heard her Nick’s starts chanting the “the killer is here” so he won’t get caught. Completely confused of what’s going on Robin runs off but is immediately followed by the other kids as they chant “kill, kill, kill”. They continue to chase her all over the facility until they had her cornered in a room. They close in on her as they continue chanting “kill, kill, kill”; Robin starts backing away from them until unfortunately she backs out of a window falling to her death. The four kids that unintentionally cause her death decided to make a pact to never tell anyone to keep what went on a secret. Oh yeah like that’s not gonna come bite them in the ass later…..SPOILERS! Cut to night time we see Mr. Hammond (played by Leslie Nielsen NOT in a parody film. WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?!?!) Anyway the cops believe that it was a sexually attack and Robin must’ve resisted; also they may know who did it and have already brought the suspect in. Cut to six years later at Robin’s grave visited by her parents Mr. and Mrs. Hammond, Kim Hammond (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and Alex Hammond (played by Michael Tough). After Kim and Alex are dropped off at their high school; we cut to an unseen figure making phone calls to three of the four kids from six years earlier. The first to get the call is Jude Cunningham (played by Joy Thompson), Kelly Lynch (played by Mary Beth Rubens) and Nick McBride (played by Casey Stevens) who leaves his home without answering the phone. Cut to Wendy Richards’ (played by Anne-Marie Martin) place where she gets a call from the mysterious caller but quickly hangs up and heads to school. Later we cut to Kim at the auditorium where the prom will be taken place; she starts dancing on the empty dance floor until she’s approached by Wendy who is a rather complete bitch towards Kim. Apparently Wendy and Nick had a relationship but Nick called it off and has started flirting with Kim. Later at the cafeteria Kim is hanging with her friends until she’s being accosted by Lou Farmer (played by David Mucci). Alex comes in and fends off Lou but is attacked by Lou’s friends; the fight continues until a faculty member stops the fight and sends Lou and Alex to the principle Mr. Hammond. So of course Mr. (Frank Drebin) Hammond doesn’t take kindly to douchebags in his high school and suspends Lou from the school. Outside of the school Kim and Nick are walking about reminiscing about Robin since it is the anniversary of her death. Nick starts thinking back to the day of Robin’s death telling Kim how sorry he is about the event. Nick was about to tell her everything breaking the secret pact he and the others made but got interrupted by the school bell having Kim to leave for class. And just when you thought the four teens were all douchebags one of them tries to spill the beans on the whole thing as a way of repentance. Cut to Wendy and Lou hanging around apparently planning some payback on the school; $50 this backfires and these two end up dead.

While Kim and Nick are rehearsing for the prom king and queen precession; Wendy, Jude, and Kelly have found cut-outs of their yearbook portrait in their lookers. Well at least it’s not as vague and stupid as the “I know what you did last summer” note. Its prom night and everyone has a date and are off for a good time; including the killer. Cut to the school auditorium with the prom already started; everyone’s having fun on the dance floor even Frank Drebin. Hey he’s the principle he can do whatever he wants. Anyway the dance floor starts to clear as Kim and Nick have a couple’s dance while the “Prom Night” song is playing in the background. Cut to Kelly and a teen named Drew (played by Jeff Wincott) making out in a locker room; Drew tries to take her dress off to have sex but she keeps refusing. So Drew goes fuck it and leaves her there; oh wait let me get my tricorder again………..as I thought a douchebag. Kelly puts her dress back on but she’s unaware that the killer is sneaking up behind her and slits her throat with a mirror shard. Cut to a van in the woods where Jude a teen named Slick (played by Sheldon Rybowski) just finishing having sex. Afterwards they start smoking some joints as the killer shows up and kill Jude; Slick gets pissed off, punches the killer and drives off. The killer makes a few attempts to climb in the van and kill Slick but keeps getting thrown out. The killer makes one last attempt this time he makes Slick drive off a cliff and the van explodes on impact. Back at the school Wendy is in the restroom fixing her make up until she’s attacked by the killer now wielding an ax. Wendy dodges the killer’s attack and runs out of the restroom while the killer gives chase. Wendy tries to getaway but keeps running into locked doors; she heads to a school garage and hides in a car but the killer finds her. She runs off again back to the school halls and hides in a storage room. So far Wendy’s safe until she finds the body of Kelly; she freaks out and runs out of the storage room where the killer is right outside and kills her.

Back at the auditorium Kim and Nick are getting ready for the king and queen precession but little do they know that Lou and his cronies are out to ruin the precession. Lou and crony #1 knocked out Nick then tied and gagged him while crony #2 hides in the shadows behind Kim. Lou takes Nick’s place as the killer shows up not knowingly aware that it’s not Nick. As the precession begins the killer creeps up behind Lou and like Connor Macleod chops the guy’s head clean off. The dismembered head rolls out on the dance floor causing the prom-goers to panic and run immediately out of the auditorium. Kim hears all the commotion and goes off to find Nick tied and gagged; after she unties him the two try to leave the auditorium but are blocked off by the killer. The killer lunges at Nick but he tries to fend off the killer; Kim tries to fight him off but the killer keeps shrugging her off. Nick still struggles with the killer to the point that he throws the ax away from him; Nick and the killer continue to struggle while Kim goes to get the ax. She stands ready for an opening until she gives a good whack on the killer’s head with the ax. This is why Jamie Lee Curtis is so amazing in these horror films she always portrays those kinds of characters who have the means of defending herself against all odds. Anyway the killer is stunned and wounded after the possibly lethal blow to the head. Kim and the killer make eye contact as she gets a sense of familiarity as if she knows him while the killer looks at her as if appeared to be shocked. The killer runs away while Kim and Nick follow him; the killer makes it outside of the school but starts stumbling and then falls to the ground. Kim runs to the killer removing his mask to reveal to be her own brother Alex. Cut to a flashback after Robin fell to her death Alex soon appears and sees her dead body; apparently through all these years he blames Nick and the others for Robin’s death and sworn revenge. The film ends with Alex dying in Kim’s arms as she cries; devastated that her brother is now dead and was the killer. And quite possibly knows that Nick and the others were responsible for Robin’s death the whole time.

My Final Verdict: Out of most horror films Jamie has starred in, Prom Night has to be the only one where her character is not the main victim. Yeah she is the leading protagonist but it’s like her character is put in a circumstance unknown to her instead of being the killer’s main target. Mainly because the killer is her own brother; now there are about three things I was having problems with. They’re not that big of a deal but are worth mentioning. The first two is with the sub-plots a rapist mentioned earlier in the film and a suspicious school janitor Sykes (played by Robert A Silverman NOT in a Cronenberg film, AGAIN WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?!?!). Anyway both sub-plots are brought up in the film many times but unfortunately have ZERO pay off or don’t add up to the main plot. So I’ve decided not to mention them in the review since both sub-plots are just false tensions in the end. The third problem is how this film takes a bit too long to get to the revenge sub-plot. We see the killer making phone calls to the four teens but barely follow upon it with the four teens being paranoid or scared over these weird calls. The point that the film gets really good is at the 48 minute mark where everything is set up for the inevitable revenge sub-plot. At least in Terror Train the whole killing starts thirteen minutes in while there were other things going on in between. I’m not saying this film is bad it’s just slow at getting the plot going while distracting us with rather unnecessary sub-plots that sadly led to nowhere. Now apparently there were sequels that I honestly wasn’t aware of until now but after already surviving reviewing the Scanners sequels and spin-offs. I’m honestly not in the mood to review the possibly crappy sequels so soon. And not to mention there’s a 2008 remake; whether if I review it or not depends on this remake doesn’t piss me off with remake stupidity.

OK folks we’ve looked through the aftermath of Jamie’s popularity now we’re diving into the film that started her popularity that would last for decades to come. Next week it’s Halloween; stay tuned.

TFV: Jamie Lee Curtis Month Review: Terror Train

Back in 2012 I’ve visited a horror convention in Indianapolis called HorrorHound Weekend. This particular convention had a very special presence in the form of Jamie Lee Curtis. And other horror actors such as some of the cast from Halloween (Nancy Stephens, Charles Cyphers, Will Sandin and Brian Andrews); some of the cast from Halloween II (Lance Guest, Leo Rossi, Gloria Gifford, and Pamela Susan Shoop). And some of the cast from The Fog (Adrienne Barbeau, Tom Atkins, and Ty Mitchell) even some of the actors who portrayed Michael Myers showed up (Nick Castle, Tommy Lee Wallace, Dick Warlock, Chris Durand, and Brad Loree). Anyway it was a rather lovely pleasure to meet and talk with these people; well except for Jamie Lee Curtis. I mean I got to see her (from a distance) I just didn’t have the money at the time to see her or talk to her or anything but still. OK enough back story on with the review; we start off at a college where a New Year’s Eve fraternity party is taken place. There we’re introduce to Alana Maxwell (played by Jamie Lee Curtis), Doc Manley (played by Hart Bochner), Mitchy (played by Sandee Currie), Mo (played by Timothy Webber), Jackson (played by Anthony Sherwood), and Ed (played by Howard Busgang). Doc, Jackson, Ed, and Mo try to get one of their pledges Kenny Hampson (played by Derek MacKinnon) to have sex with Alana; Kenny finally agrees with them. Cut to Kenny arriving at a room where Alana is waiting for him; Kenny strips his clothes off as Alana awaits for him. Kenny head towards the bed and starts making out with Alana but only to find out to be a dead body he was making out while Alana was hiding behind the bed. Kenny freaks out as Doc, Jackson, Ed, Mo, and Mitchy enters the room laughing at him. Apparently the whole thing was a prank with all except for Alana was in on it. After the opening credits we cut to three years later at a train station and its New Year’s Eve; we’re reunited with Alana, Doc, Jackson, Ed, Mitchy, and Mo now college graduates celebrating New Year’s one last time. As the train begins its departure Ed shows up stumbling around on the platform as he was stabbed through the gut. However, given that Ed was a class clown everyone on the platform believes that he’s goofing around. And as Ed dies an unknown assailant takes off Ed’s costume, quickly puts on the costume and aboard the train. Wow only thirteen minutes in and we get our first character death; this film sure doesn’t waste any time at all. The film pads out with Alana and the others reminiscing of their in college as the disguised assailant is stalking them. The disguised assailant comes across Mitchy and from the looks of it about to kill her however, Jackson shows up unknowingly became the assailant’s next victim. Jackson is murdered when the two entered a restroom offering a drink to the assailant as he still believes that it’s Ed.

Cut to the lounge car where Alana and Mo are approached by the Magician (played by David Copperfield) as he performs some sleight of hand magic. He even uses some magic to get Alana some free peanuts. A little bit later the Magician performs a magic show in lounge car with a lovely assistant. Later Pet (played by Joy Boushel) and Merry (played by D.D. Winters) are getting concern about their boyfriends Ed and Jackson. But Doc and Mo decided to help relief their concern if you know what I mean. Doc and the others are looking for place to play doctor when they came across a locked restroom. The train conductor (played by Ben Johnson) shows up to check the restroom as Doc and the others leave only to find the body of the now dead Jackson. The conductor asked the brakeman to watch over the restroom as he contacts the train operator to find a nearest town. The conductor returns to the restroom to get the body but upon opening the door there’s no blood and the body still alive. The conductor and the brakeman figure that it was probably a prank but we know better that it’s the assailant now in Jackson’s costume. Mitchy stops by and helps “Jackson” to her bed compartment; she seduces him only to get murdered off screen. Back at the lounge car Alana becomes rather charmed by the Magician until Doc shows up tell her that Mo is looking for her. Gee I never thought magicians would have the James Bond level of sex appeal. Anyway while the Magician makes another performance, the conductor finds Mitchy dead in her bed compartment and immediately closes the bed compartment. When Alana shows up shortly after, the conductor escorts her away from the murder scene as she’s looking for Mitchy. The conductor tells Alana that Mitchy is dead but she doesn’t believe him; she runs to Mitchy’s bed compartment to find her dead body. Back at the magic show Doc noticed Mo all hunched over; he tries to wake him up but Mo doesn’t seem be able to. Doc panics, quickly carries Mo to his bed compartment, and tries to resuscitate him. And by trying to resuscitate him I mean Doc just constantly yells MO every time. Well those four years at that med school sure have done wonders for Doc eh? Alana tells Doc that Mitchy is dead; he gets very upset and pulls the brake cord. However, there’s no response from the train operators which forces the conductor to dash all the way to the front of the train and slam on the brakes. After the train comes to a rough stop the conductor finds the two train operators dead. The train is completely evacuated leaving the train staff to look for the killer. Outside Alana comes to the conclusion that it maybe Kenny who’s behind the killings because of what happened to him. Doc doesn’t believe that Kenny would kill just because of a prank however, Alana tells him that she visited Kenny at the hospital to find out he killed someone.

Alana and Doc go back on the train…for no reason really except to get killed and locked themselves in their room. Doc looks through the college yearbook and finds a page of Kenny performing a magic act; claiming that it’s the Magician who’s Kenny. Doc goes kinda bat-shit crazy to the point that Alana leaves him; she gets spook by a dark figure but false alarm it turns out to be the brakeman. Back in Doc’s room he continues his bat-shit crazy mode as he searches the room for Kenny only to fall into his own stupidity of being locked in his own room to be killed by Kenny. Alana informs the conductor who the killer is and the two go off to get Doc however, they find the room a mess and Doc lost his head…literally. Cut to the lounge car with the conductor moving the people (including the Magician’s assistant) out to the next car; locking the Magician in the lounge car. Alana is sent to an empty room to get some rest with one of the train staff armed with a fire ax standing guard. Unfortunately that didn’t do much when a few scenes later we see the staff worker dead by sword through the gut. Kenny enters the room and takes a swing with an ax only to hit an empty bed as Alana stabs him from behind with a sword. Where exactly did she get that your guess is as good as mine. Anyway Kenny shrugs off that stab wound and chases after Alana; the chase ends at a storage car and Kenny starts strangling Alana. However, given that Alana is played by Jamie Lee Curtis she’s not going down that easily. Alana managed to get lose from Kenny and locks herself in some type of storage cage. Kenny gets a large crowbar and tries to stab Alana but she retaliates by stabbing him in the face with one of those pointy note holders. Alana tries to getaway but Kenny soon follows ending up between train cars. Kenny tries to strangle her again but Alana quickly gets an upper hand as she uses her foot to push him off the train. All seems to be over right….NOPE Kenny manages to grab hold on the side of a train and sneaks back on board. Alana is wondering around the train until she ends up in the Magician’s cabin. She’s looks through his stuff until she comes across....the Magician’s dead body….HUH?!?! Alana runs out of the cabin and into one of the train stuff only to be revealed that it’s Kenny who this whole time was disguised as the Magician’s assistant. OK when I first saw this film I honestly thought it was the Magician who was doing all of the killings. And when they revealed that the Magician’s dead and the real killer was disguised as the assistant I was rather surprised and impressed. The film did a good job of a subtle miss direction; yeah we see the Magician in most scenes but at he didn’t act predictively suspicious. And given how he was kinda flirting with Alana and how Doc was being a dick to him it helped made him even less heavy handedly suspicious. So yeah give this film some brownie points; you got me film….you got me. And oh yeah insert your own “Angela’s a boy” joke here. So Kenny has Alana cornered only to want her to kiss him; she does so and he gets a flashback of the prank then freaks the fuck out. The conductor enters the car and bashes Kenny with a shovel which forces him out of the train which is already passes over a bridge. So the film ends with Kenny falling to his death from the frozen lake below; flowing in the frozen water as the train continues on.

My Final Verdict: You know the difference between this film and films like let’s say Sorority Row for example? Terror Train is not all hand fisted and predictable while films nowadays have more red herrings to choke a T-Rex. As I said earlier this film does a good job of a subtle miss direction; plus even if we who the killer is off the bat. There’s still that mystery of is it the person from the past or where has the killer been for the past three years. Having the film take place on the train makes it almost claustrophobic at times despite there are ways to get off the train the film somehow makes it feel that you can’t escape.

OK that’s two films reviewed two more to go stay tuned next time as we look a film that makes more sense than all three I Know What You Did Last Summer films Prom Night (1980).

TFV: Jamie Lee Curtis Month Review: The Fog

Hey everyone, Happy Halloween and welcome to Jamie Lee Curtis Month; this year we take a look at four horror films starring one of the greatest horror icons of our time Jamie Lee Curtis.

First film to start off is The Fog. We open at a camping ground at Antonio Bay where an old man is telling a group a children a story; a story about a clipper ship that crash at the shores of Spivey Point a hundred years ago. As the old man finished the story it is now midnight April 21st marking the 100th birthday of Antonio Bay. Cut to a John Carpenter cameo who is closing up a church; he tells Father Malone (played Hal Holbrook) he’s all finished up and leaves. As soon as Bennett (cameo by John Carpenter) leaves a piece of brick falls off a wall startling Malone. He looks inside the hole in the wall and finds a journal with the name Father Patrick Malone (1880) written on the first page. We cut to some bizarre happenings going on in Antonio Bay; food items at a store began shaking then suddenly stop. A gas pump nozzle at a gas station pops off and starts running gas. A bunch of cars at a parking area go off setting off their car alarms. At a woman’s house a chair moves by itself and TV turns itself on. I swear if it turns out this whole town is built on a Native American burial I freaking quit. Cut to a Nick Castle (played by Tom Atkins) driving along until he stops to pick up a hitchhiker Elizabeth Solley (played by Jamie Lee Curtis). The two have a cute chit chat until the truck’s windows burst to pieces forcing Nick to stop; they appear to be fine and continue driving. Cut to a lighthouse/radio station at Spivey Point where we’re introduced to Stevie Wayne (played by Adrienne Barbeau) who is radio DJ. OK I’m getting some serious HorrorHound flashbacks right now. She gets a call from a weatherman Dan O’Bannon (played by Charles Cyphers) about a fog bank that’s coming in from the east and a trawler the Sea Grass that’s about fifteen miles out. Stevie gives a radio shout out to the Sea Grass as we cut to the crew of the Sea Grass. One of the crew members spots the spots the fog bank only to notice something weird about it. As the fog approached the trawler most of it moves down to the engine room and disables the engine. Some of the crew members on deck see a big ship within the fog before disappearing; the crew then sees shadowy figures before they’re killed off by these figures. Cut to Nick’s place he and Elizabeth are hitting it off in bed; oh Nick you lucky bastard. Nick and Elizabeth hear knocking on and Nick goes to answer it. He sees nothing but a shadowy figure knocking at the door; the figure raises its hook as Nick comes closer to the door. As Nick is about to answer the door he’s startled by a crack sound from a grandfather clock. Nick opens the door to see no one at the door; false attention done right folks.

The next morning Stevie is woken by her son Andy Wayne (played by Ty Mitchell) and is given a piece of driftwood he found on the beach with a word DANE engraved on it. And here’s a little easter egg for you folks. We cut to the campground where we’re introduced to Kathy Williams (played by Janet Leigh) and Sandy Fadel (played by Nancy Loomis). That’s right Kathy Williams is played none other than Jamie’s mother and this won’t be the last time Jamie and Janet star in the same film together. You may also remember Janet Leigh from one of the most classic horror films ever made Psycho. Cut to a pier where Nick is supposed to meet up with the Sea Grass crew but we all know what became of them. Nick goes off to talk to Ashcroft for a boat to find the Sea Grass; Elizabeth comes along. Later as Stevie drives to the lighthouse/radio station she listens to a radio broadcast from the coast guard about the missing Sea Grass as they already began their search. Cut to Nick and Elizabeth on a boat in search for the Sea Grass; they’ve found the Sea Grass only to find it completely abandoned except for one corpse. Kathy and Sandy head to the church to meet with Father Malone. He shows them the journal he found and reads it to them. The journey reads of Malone’s grandfather meeting a wealthy man named Blake who had a vile disease (Leprosy). Blake wishes to move off of Tanzier Island and relocated the entire colony just north of Antonio Bay. He purchase a clipper ship called the Elizabeth Dane and asked only for permission to settle at Antonio Bay. However, Malone’s grandfather wanted no dealings with Blake to allow a Leper colony living in Antonio Bay. Father Malone continues reading that his grandfather and five other conspirators spend from midnight to 1 o’clock planning the death of Blake and his comrades. While taking Blake’s gold to build their settlement into a township; On April 21st the six conspirators accomplished their plan. Tricking Blake into following a false fire on shore and the ship broke apart on the rocks of Spivey Point. While they were aided by an unearthly fog that rolled into Antonio Bay then they recovered the gold the next day. Father Malone stops reading now learning that this town was built on the blood of innocent colonist and that the birthday celebration is no more than honoring murderers. Kathy and Sandy take their leave as Father Malone believes that the town is cursed for what the six conspirators have done. Later Stevie returns to the lighthouse/radio station getting for tonight’s broadcast; as she sets up water starts to appear from the driftwood she brought with her. The water reaches a tape player distorting the inside causing a demonic voice to appear through the player before the driftwood burst into flames with the words “6 Must Die” written on it. Stevie puts the driftwood out only to see it completely unscorched. Cut to Nick and Elizabeth at a hospital where the body is being examined; the doctor deduces that the body drowned even though the body was nowhere near the water. Nick and the doctor go talk out of the room with Elizabeth still in the room; the body all of a sudden starts to slowly move. The body picks up a scalpel and gets up from the stretcher moving towards Elizabeth only to fall to the floor next to her; startling her. Nick and the doctor rush into the room to find the body on the floor and the number 3 sketched on the floor.

Cut to nighttime at the Shelby Square when the birthday celebration begins. Nick and Elizabeth are at a bar when Stevie announces on the radio about the celebration, the Sea Grass and the fog. Nick gets suspicious about the fog and decides to call Stevie for more information about the fog. Stevie tells Nick she saw the fog last night and was glowing; she says when the fog came in it kept moving west while the wind moving east. As the two are talking our spooky fog comes rolling into Antonio Bay. Nick heads off to meet up with Stevie at the lighthouse/radio station; Elizabeth comes along. Stevie gets a call from Dan about another fog bank coming in; she gets rather spooked and goes on the radio to give a heads up about the incoming fog. Stevie looks out the window to see the glowing fog heading to the weather station that Dan works at. The fog arrives at the weather station as the lights go out and pounding starts at the door. Dan puts the phone down as he checks the door as Stevie warns him to stay away from the door. But it’s too late as Dan opens the door and is killed by a shadowy figure as Stevie helplessly listens in. Stevie quickly gets on the radio and ask for the sheriff to call her at the lighthouse/radio station immediately. The sheriff complies and calls Stevie unfortunately the fog cut the phone lines before Stevie can warn the sheriff. Soon after the fog heads to a power plant; disabling the generators leaving the town literally in the dark. Stevie sees the fog heading in the direction of where she lives; worrying that her son is in danger she heads to an emergency generator trying to start it up. Stevie gets the generator on and gets back on the radio warning Andy to get out of the house. Cut to Stevie’s house Andy is watched over by a nanny as the fog approaches the house. The fog completely surrounds the house with the unknowing nanny and Andy trapped inside. The nanny goes answering the pounding on the door while Andy goes off to his room not seeing the nanny being killed.

Nick and Elizabeth are off driving as they hear Stevie’s broadcast on the radio. Back at the house the fog is breaking into Andy’s room as Nick and Elizabeth rush to the house. Nick arrives outside of Andy’s room breaks the bedroom window for Andy to get out and the two run back to the trunk. After a minor held up the three managed to escape the fog; Stevie continues to warn the town as the fog continues inland. Watching the movements of the fog, Stevie gives out information on where not to go and what street to take to get away from the fog. Cut to Nick and Elizabeth driving away from the fog as they listen in on Stevie’s instructions. Then we cut to Kathy and Sandy driving away from the as they too listen to her instructions. The two parties are led to the old church outside of town and here you go real life mother and daughter sharing the same scene. Damn am I nostalgic. While Nick and the rest of the party hide in the study along with Father Malone; trouble comes a knocking when the fog arrives at the lighthouse/radio station trapping Stevie. Back at the church the party has figured out that Blake and the leper colonists have return from the dead to kill the descendants of the original six conspirators. The three men from the Sea Grass, Dan the weatherman and the nanny (Mrs. Korbritz) with Father Malone believing that he’s the last. They read the rest of the journal revealing if Blake and the leper colonists would return from the dead Patrick Malone would return Blake’s fortune. Patrick Malone stolen the confiscated fortune and within the walls of the church. The ghosts start breaking in the church as Father Malone and Kathy dig through the wall where Malone found the journal. Back at the lighthouse/radio station the ghosts break in forcing Stevie to retreat upstairs on to the roof of the lighthouse. At the church Malone and Kathy found a rather large gold cross; somehow apparently Patrick Malone took all of Blake’s gold and melt it into a cross. The ghosts continue breaking in the church as Father Malone takes the gold cross back to Blake. It seems to work as Blake and the leper colony ghosts all disappear along with the gold cross and the fog. Or have they? The film ends with Blake and the leper colonists returning to claim the sixth conspirator, Father Malone.

My Final Verdict: The word impressive seems to come into mind about this film; the film has a good subtlety with its limited number of jump scares. It ain’t like some of the horror films nowadays where jump scares are used as a lazy crutch. And apparently can see these jump scares from a mile away. The efforts for the fog is rather amazing for its time and how the film keeps the ghosts well hidden within the makes them more terrifying. This film just has that right amount of set up horror-wise and that its pacing of setting up the horror atmosphere is rather good. Where as in some horror films nowadays likes to rush to the freaking point ultimately losing that good atmosphere set up. There was a remake of The Fog made back in 2005 that I only seen it once and virtually forgot about it. So chances are it might suck whenever I get a chance to review it.

There’s a whole lot more of Jamie Lee Curtis to come so stay tuned next week as we look into Terror Train.

The Film Vindicator Review: Scanner Cop II

Well here we are folks last stop; let’s get this over with. We start off at a police station where a drifter is taken in for questioning; a doctor is called in to check on the drifter. The only two cops look through the drifter’s personal effects and find a rather familiar bottle of pills. Oh gee I wonder if those pills are actually Ephemerol and the drifter is actually a Scanner (sarcastic)? As the doctor question the drifter one of the cops starts to have a nose bleed then suddenly pulls a scalpel from the doctor’s bag and stabs the doctor. The second cop looks through the drifter’s stuff and finds a newspaper clipping of Samuel Staziak when his nose starts to bleed. He sees his partner stabbed in the gut and dies; the cop attempts to shoot the drifter but the drifter psychically disarms him. The drifter shoots the cop leaves the station and escapes. We cut to a Trans-Neural Resource Center where we’re introduced to a Carrie Goodart (played Khrystyne Haje) who runs the center for Scanners to find help. OK in the last film there was only ONE Scanner but here there’s a population of Scanners and that they have a center for Scanners. Consistency what’s that? Anyway the now detective Samuel Staziak (played by Daniel Quinn) arrives at the center asking Carrie on any leads about his biological mother. Sadly no information about her whereabouts; Samuel gets an emergency call and heads out. Cut to a petrol chemical plant where a kidnapping attempt goes wrong and now the perpetrators want a helicopter to escape or they will kill the hostages. Samuel arrives at the plant and proceeds to enter the facility. He spots one perpetrator and immediately controls him psychically. Samuel continues into the building as he psychically gathers information from the perpetrator until he’s spotted by another perpetrator. Samuel takes out both the perpetrators, takes one of their headset communicators, and proceeds to incapacitate the rest of the perpetrators psychically via headset. Just go with it. All except for the leader are temporary incapacitated; Samuel arrives to the control room and psychically projects himself as one of the perpetrators in order to stop the leader from activating the bomb. One of the perpetrators arrives to the control room breaking the psychic mirage exposing Samuel. He shoots down both of them however; the leader activates the bomb before dying. Samuel manages to stop the bomb from going off psychically; just go with it. Later the Scanner drifter arrives at the Trans-Neural Resource Center looking for information on Samuel. Carrie spots him on a computer and quietly sneaks into the next room to call the cops. However, the drifter notices the lights on the office phone and goes after Carrie. Revealing to be a Scanner, Carrie tries to stop him but taking Ephemerol has made her not as strong. The drifter psychically overpowers her and has her to provide him Samuel’s whereabouts. The drifter then begins to psychically drain her but is interrupted by the police sirens and leaves the center. A little bit later the drifter arrives at Samuel’s house and breaks in. Back at the crime scene Samuel calls his answering and hears a message from Carrie about a lead on his mother as the drifter listens in. Samuel returns home about to enter until he sensed something behind the front door and jumps out of the way before the drifter armed with a double barrel shotgun open fires. Samuel sneaks into the back of the house when the drifter scans him. Samuel scans back and breaks into a mental fight until Samuel manages to overpower the drifter who escapes afterwards.

Cut to a different part of town where we see a Scanner using his powers to pickpocket people unnoticed. The pickpocket Scanner is confronted by the drifter whom has him psychically pinned to a wall and starts to psychically drain him. Almost like the climax from the first film with Cameron and Revok just not as graphic and impressive. So now he’s on a mission of draining Scanners of their lifeforce to become strong enough to kill Samuel. Samuel is call in to investigate a dead body in an alley (the dead pickpocket Scanner). Samuel finds a packet of Ephemerol on the dead Scanner and goes to call Carrie at the center. However, he gets the news that Carrie was attacked and was taken to the hospital now in a shock induce state of unconscious. After arriving at the hospital, Samuel goes off to see Carrie trying to scan her to find out what happened. Through some Scanner auto-sketching; seriously they’re just making shit up as they go along in this film. Anyway Carrie starts sketching a face of the drifter until Samuel is interrupted by an orderly causing some kind of mental shock on Carrie. Samuel scans her again this time to revive her from her shock and she awakens. Well if he could just snap her out of her unconsciousness what was the point with the Scanner mind-meld earlier? Anyway Samuel looks at the sketch and recognizes the drifter as Karl Volkin (played by Patrick Kilpatrick); a Scanner who Samuel put away to jail years ago. At the police station Samuel gets info that Volkin escape from a psychiatric hospital the other night. At the psychiatric hospital Samuel learns that Volkin was off his Ephemerol for four days and somehow haven’t gone crazy. Volkin manages to escape by psychically killing four guards and killed one Scanner inmate the same way with the pickpocket Scanner. Back at the hospital Samuel meets up with Carrie who’s fully recovered and discharged. The two continue their at the Trans-Neural Resource Center trying figure out why Volkin is killing other Scanners. Carrie says something about these Scanner deaths is familiar to her; we’ll come back to that later. Cut to Volkin’s place where we get a flashback of him and his brother raping a woman. Samuel arrives at the scene to stop them; Volkin tries to scan him but Samuel counter scans. Volkin calls for his brother who has the woman at knife point threaten to kill her if Samuel doesn’t back off. Samuel scans Volkin who’s armed with a gun psychically controlling him to shoot his own brother dead. Volkin now pissed seeks revenge against Samuel. Now there’s a few flags on the play here one is the obvious Scanner using a gun instead of making a person head explode. Two if Volken had a brother would it be obvious for the brother to be a Scanner as well? I mean we know how a person becomes a Scanner; meaning that the brother should have been a Scanner just like Volkin. Back to present day Volkin senses a Scanner nearby and goes on the prowl. Cut to a woman at a laundry mat when Volken shows up; apparently the woman turns out to be a Scanner. After Volkin psychically drains the woman, he’s confronted by a few cops but quickly dispatches them. A little bit later Samuel shows up at the crime scene and senses Volkin at a warehouse. He questions the workers if they’ve seen Volkin but Volkin takes control of a fork-lift operator and attempts to kill him. Samuel is caught by the fork-lift and is being crush; he tries to break Volkin’s control over the operator but Volkin continues his control. The two continue their counter scans but the operator’s head starts to hemorrhaging. Volkin persuades Samuel to stop his scan or the fork-lift operator dies. Samuel complies and scans the fork-lift to break free but Volkin escapes.

Samuel returns to the police station as he gets a call from Carrie on some information about the case and ask him to meet her at a restaurant. As Carrie leaves the center, Volkin breaks in the center and scans the computer to print out a list of other Scanners. More so he finds a file of leads on Samuel’s mother. Cut to a restaurant where Carrie tells Samuel about two Scanners back in the early 80s have got into a quarrel with one ending up being drained and other off to drain another Scanner. The winning Scanner claiming that he needed to absorb their essence to make his power stronger. OK I’m not sure if this film is intentionally making a connection with the first film. Or specifically the climax of the first film; but if it is the filmmaker fucked up. While them continuing to discuss this deadly revelation; Volkin goes around town absorbing other Scanners of their lifeforce. And nope there’s not a chance in hell I’m making a Lifeforce reference; this film deeply has not earn it. Samuel is called in at these crime scenes while Volkin arrives at a St. Jude Retirement Home looking for Samuel’s mother Rachel. Volkin calls out Samuel from the retirement home threaten to kill his mother before hanging up. After psychically traces the call back to the retirement home, Samuel hurries on over accompany by Carrie. Back at the retirement home Volkin stalks Samuel’s mother; apparently she’s not a Scanner. I would bitch about that but I’m just about spent right now. Anyway Volkin finally corners Samuel’s mother at a balcony window; he scans her but is interrupted by the sound of the police sirens. Somehow knowing what Volkin’s intentions are, Samuel’s mother decides to jumps off the balcony not allowing her to be used against her son. Samuel and Carrie arrived finding his mother in front of the retirement home. It becomes a rather anticlimactic scene when Samuel and his mother finally met only her to say his name and die. Forgive me that I refuse to shed a cry for that scene. Because frankly if David Kellum from Scanners II can keep his foster father alive psychically why could Samuel do the same for his mother? Samuel enters the retirement home and chases after Volkin; they ended up at a basement area as Volkin seals themselves in. The two meet for their finally confrontation; Samuel scans Volkin but given he’d been absorbing Scanners Samuel’s psychic attacks have no effect on Volkin. Volkin seems to have the advantage as he psychically thrashing Samuel. Samuel attempts to turn the tables as he uses two security guards Volkin killed; creating the psychically illusion of the two guards being Samuel. This plan seems to weaken Volkin as he scans these guards to death. Volkin finds the real Samuel and the two squared off once again this time the fight seems to be dead even until Samuel manages to psychic push Volkin. Samuel puts an end to this fight as he scans Volkin to the point of Volkin’s head starts to hemorrhage and then KABOOM! Wow about a few minutes left in this film and we finally get a head explosion…better late than never I guess. And with that the film just ends like that.

My Final Verdict: This film…I don’t know something about this film feels so weak and bland. The body horror effects are way too cheesy for the film’s own good. I can’t even begin to describe the film’s intent really I’m just done…I got nothing. If I did had something to say about this film is that it’s just stale, simply stale like there’s just no weight to it at all. And truth be told I wish David Cronenberg directed these, well except for Scanners II that film was alright but the rest needed Cronenberg so bad.

OK I’m finally finished with this franchise done and fucking done. Now I’m off to take a break and to plan my next Halloween special. Yeah October is still a bit far out but I need all the time to set up my reviews. So coming up this October its Jamie Lee Curtis Month, stay tuned folks.

The Film Vindicator Review: Scanner Cop

Seriously why do I keep going with this? It’s not like the spin-off is any better than the sequels. What’s the point of these directors making these films if they keep deluding from the original film? Sure the Friday the 13th sequels were basically pushed out of the vaginas of filmmakers almost yearly but at least they were kinda consistent. Well except for Friday the 13th Part 5. While the Scanners franchise feel like their consistency from the original are ridiculously minimum. But I gotta review these films so here we go.

We start off at a dirt filled apartment where we see a young boy playing with his toy car while his father is bat-shit screaming in the bathroom. It turns the father is a Scanner who has ran out of Ephemerol and is now being bombarded by voices. We cut to a land-lord showing up at the apartment companied by two cops; it would appear that the father is two months behind on the rent. The cops enter the apartment attempting to arrest the father but he Scanner pushes one of them out of the apartment. The father then scans the second cop to the point that he almost makes the cop’s head explode. Sadly no genuine head explosion when his son uses his Scanner powers to stop him; the father doesn’t take that well and scan push him but then comes back to his senses. The land-lord comes in with a double-barrel shotgun and shoots the father dead; this pisses off the son and just about to mind crush but is stop by the cop. Later officer Peter Harrigan (played by Richard Grove) who was saved by the boy decided to take him home. The next day at the Chatsworth Mental Institute, Harrigan learns that the boy is a Scanner. OK seriously is it selective amnesia or something; how is it no one (aside from scientists) is not aware of Scanners? Anyway this doctor guy wants to experiment on the boy but Harrigan says the hell with that and the two leave. Harrigan give the boy a choice to stay with him and his wife, the boy agrees so. Cut to 15 years later we see the now grown up Samuel Staziak (played by Daniel Quinn) recently promoted as a police officer. While Samuel celebrates with his family and friends, a murder spree is taken place in the city. Regular citizens are mysteriously attacking and killing police officers on sight. Gees am I watching Grand Theft Auto or Sin City? Cut to Samuel gearing up and heading out on his first patrol. At a hospital two cops bring in an injured perp to an operating room; a hospital intern looks at one of the cops goes all crazy and stabs him. Harrigan is called in from the hospital and heads there immediately; the intern who stabbed the cop is in the state of catatonia. Making it difficult for Harrigan to question him; that is until he gets an idea. Cut to Samuel and his partner arriving at an ice packing plant which turns out to be a drug smuggling ring. Samuel and his partner take out two of the drug smugglers but one drug smuggler about to attack Samuel from behind. Samuel stops and disarmed the drug smuggler with his Scanner powers. After the drug bust Samuel is order to report his captain immediately; at the police station Samuel meets up with Harrigan discussing about the cop killings. Harrigan asked Samuel for a favor to scan the catatonic intern in order to find the person responsible for these killings. However, Samuel refuses because that would mean he has to stop taking Ephemerol. Later a janitor from the police station is kidnapped by a fortune teller Zena (played by Hilary Shepard) and me without a “Does this smell like chloroform to you?” joke. The janitor awakes in some kind of laboratory where we meet this film’s villain Karl Glock (played by Richard Lynch that go-to-character actor whenever Rutger Hauer is unavailable). Glock begins to program the janitor with some kind of weird brainwashing techniques. SPOILER ALERT he’s not a Scanner……yeah that’s bullshit.

Back at the police station Samuel and his partner are talking in the locker room until the janitor from before walks in. He sees a cop, goes bat-shit crazy, picks up a nearest shotgun and starts shooting down a few cops including Samuel’s partner. The janitor is eventually taken down leaving with two cops dead including Samuel’s partner. A little bit later Samuel goes to Harrigan and finally agrees to help. Back at the hospital Samuel and Harrigan approached the catatonic intern but once again the intern freaks out at the sight of Samuel. A Dr. Joan Alden (played by Darlanne Fluegel) quickly clears the two out of the room; she makes the conclusion that the intern has been programed to kill cops in uniforms. She suggests removing the trigger by having the police out of their uniforms. In the next scene Samuel attempts to scan the intern seeing exactly what the intern is seeing. From the intern’s eyes the images of the cops were replaced with horrifying hallucinations with drove the intern to kill. After Samuel tells Harrigan and Joan what he saw the intern kills himself by lunging his neck on a broken window he shattered. Cut to a woman walking to her car from a grocery store until she’s being mugged by two armed men. Samuel is walking to his car from the grocery until he hears the woman screaming nearby. He goes to stop them but one of them aims a gun at him; Samuel uses his Scanner powers to mentally paralyze him. The other mugger is about to shoot Samuel but gets Scanner push into a street lamp as Samuel arrests them both. Later at his home, Samuel has been neglecting to take his Ephemerol and starts hearing peoples’ thoughts. However, Samuel tries to filter out the thoughts without Ephemerol and it work. Harrigan issues a tactical alert for civilians to stay away from any police installations and for the police to work in civilian clothing only. Cut to Samuel reporting to a police lieutenant investigate the cop killing; with the power of film editing he uses his powers to read a stack of case files at lightning speed. Yeah I think its bullshit too. At an autopsy room Joan discovers a puncture mark behind the ear on the intern; upon further inspection she discovered traces of a hallucinogenic compound in the brain. This compound puts the subject’s mind open to any suggestion; basically these “killers” are imprinted with a command to kill. We cut to a woman being kidnapped by Zena forgot my “Does this smell like chloroform to you?” joke again. Cut to nighttime when we see a cop being dropped off at his place; he sees his wife cooking dinner but acting rather odd. It’s the same woman who was kidnapped by Zena earlier. The cop tries a bit of foreplay and then shows his badge; the wife sees the badge goes ape-shit at a hallucination grabs a kitchen knife and stabs him dead. The next morning the cop’s partner stops at by to pick him up; the partner gets no response and goes around the back of the house. He makes it to the kitchen only to find his partner dead and the wife in shock. Later Samuel, Joan, and Harrigan arrive to the crime scene attempting to question the wife. Samuel starts scanning the wife and sees what she sees, discovering that the cop’s badge is the new trigger. Samuel goes deeper into her memories and sees her being imprinted. From her mind’s eye Samuel sees only a silhouette of the suspect; he scans even further trying to get an image but the wife’s head starts to hemorrhaging. Again there’s no head explosion when Joan stops Samuel; that’s strike two on no head explosions movie and I don’t like it.

Going the mental images of the wife, Samuel goes off to find the place where the wife was imprinted. After a rather boring driving montage Samuel arrives to the area where the wife was taken. He stops by and enters a fortune teller parlor and meets with Zena. She performs a fortune reading until Samuel starts scanning her, after which he then leaves but got a good glimpse of Glock before walking away. Back at the police station Samuel gets an I.D. on Glock whom Harrigan recognizes. Glock used to be a well-respected neurosurgeon until he was fired for conducting unauthorized brain experiments. We then cut to flashback where Glock is hiding out at a log cabin along with some children he’s been experimenting on. Harrigan and a group of cops arrived at the cabin to take out Glock; Zena spots the cops and warns Glock to escape. A small shootout breaks out resulting one cop shot and killed and Harrigan morally wounding Glock with a rather huge graze to the head. Glock was locked away at Chatsworth but escaped a year later; basically he’s targeting Harrigan out of revenge. Cut to some cops and S.W.A.T. teams arriving at the fortune teller parlor but Glock and Zena are nowhere to be found. Harrigan calls it a night for now and ask Joan to talk Samuel home to rest up and to take his Ephemerol. Back at his place Joan gives Samuel some Ephemerol but he refuses to take them; Joan decides stay for the night to watch over him. A little bit later Harrigan’s lieutenant gets taken by Glock and Zena and then being imprinted to kill Harrigan believing that it’s Glock. The next day Samuel and Joan head to Chatsworth to get more information on Glock. When Glock was admitted a part of his skull was blown off rendering 20% of his brain damage; the Chatsworth doctors replace that part with a titanium plate and soon after he recovered. Afterwards Glock made his escape after killing one of the doctors he was charming. Samuel continues on questioning until he starts hearing voices from the Chatsworth patients and leaves.

Samuel returns to the police station when he spots Harrigan’s lieutenant looking suspiciously odd as the lieutenant heads up in the elevator. Samuel soon follows on other elevator; not sure why he could’ve used the stairs be a little faster. Anyway the lieutenant arrives to Harrigan’s office and shoots him only for Harrigan getting hit in the shoulder. Samuel arrives at the office trying to stop the lieutenant but he continues with his imprinted instructions. A few cops arrived at the office and shoots the lieutenant dead; Harrigan is taken to the hospital and put on intensive care. Zena arrives outside of the hospital and reports to Glock by pay phone that Harrigan is still alive and well guarded. Meanwhile at the hospital Samuel and Joan have an argument until Samuel here’s Zena’s thoughts. He immediately runs outside of the hospital and spots her; Zena makes a run for but gets run over by an ambulance. With Zena dying Samuel quickly scans her to find Glock; inside her mind Samuel ends up at mental representation of Chatsworth looking straight out of Hellraiser II. Samuel finds Zena but is trapped; Zena tries to escape but Samuel scans her again. This time Zena’s head goes KABOOM; FINALLY and I know this is all in her mind and her head hasn’t actually exploded. But you what screw it I’m counting that one. Samuel discovers that Glock is still at the parlor and immediately heads there. He arrives back at the parlor only to find a secret passage way; Samuel continues down this dark hallway until Glock gets the drop on him via trap door. When the hell this became a Bond movie all of a sudden? Samuel is incapacitated and is prep to be programed to kill Harrigan however; he uses his Scanner powers to cause some of Glock’s equipment to combust starting a fire. Glock leaves Samuel to burn off to kill Harrigan himself; Samuel manages to break free from his bonds and escapes the burning lab. Samuel arrives back to the hospital but unfortunately so has Glock disguised as one of the surgeons for Harrigan’s surgery. Samuel spots Glock in the operating room and stops him with his Scanner powers. Glock tries to kill Harrigan again but once again Samuel stops him. Glock seems to be a little resistant to Samuel’s powers but he continues to scan Glock until the left side of Glock’s head starts melting away revealing the titanium plate. Apparently titanium blocks out a Scanner’s telepathy; umm…..OK I don’t see how it’s not exactly vibranium or any other fictional comic book metal that shields your mind from psychics but whatever. Samuel uses his Scanner powers to control the defibrillator paddles electrocuting Glock. Samuel enters the room to check on Harrigan however, Glock quickly recovers and attacks Samuel. Persistent bastard now isn’t he folks? Samuel grabs a hold of Glock and scans him again; this time Glock starts hemorrhaging to the point that his titanium plate pops out of his head. Along with a few brain fragments killing him instantly; it’s a tough call if that was a head explosion so I call it more of a head fountain. Harrigan recovers from surgery and the film ends with Samuel back in uniform and on Ephemerol.

My Final Verdict: The word average seems to be the only word I can think of with this film. It’s like the further this franchise goes the less impressive it gets. Apparently this film decided to reduce the Scanner population to ONE…ONE FLIPPING SCANNER. This film seems to know about Scanners but are not seem to be a dime of dozen here. Maybe if Glock and Zena were Scanners this film might have been more interesting who the hell knows. Because oh yeah having one Scanner going against normal human villains seems fair…except that it isn’t. And before I forget this film has brought back the existence of Ephemerol but has fully disregard Eph 1-3 from the previous films. So what was exactly wrong with the original Ephemerol; what made it necessary to create newer versions of it in the two sequels but were completely forgotten in this spin-off? Virtually no explanation on what or why Ephemerol was just obsolete all of a sudden but then just brought back to use.

OK I think I’m done with this film and thankfully its sequel is the last film to go; stay tuned for the conclusion as we look into Scanner Cop II.