The Cast House: Parasite Eve

Hey everyone and welcome back to The Cast House. Remember from my Parasite Eve review that there were once rumors of a film adaptation based off from the game but never came to be. Well imagine if there was a film from the game who would portray the characters lets see.

The Film Vindicator Review: The Speed of Thought

So Speed of Thought here we go, we start off in a bar where we're introduced to Joshua Lazarus (played by Nick Stahl) flirting on a woman until his approached by two men to come with them and he does. We cut to a hospital room where we meet Sandy (played by Wallace Shawn) attending to a patient, Sandy then ask Joshua to help the patient. It turns out Joshua has psychic powers as enters the patient's mind. We abruptly cut to one later in Punta Del Este Uruguay where we see Joshua playing poker with a man named Diaz but is apparently cheating by using his power to read the Diaz's mind and wins. Later he's approached by Sandy and it's here to revealed that there are people with telepathic abilities called "Scopers" and that upon reaching the age of 29 they suffer a disease call Widmann's. Basically Scopers slowly losing their sanity over time and die. But the NSA and Sandy developed pills to keep their sanity in check for as long as possible. Sandy tells Joshua that there's new Scoper on the loose that has the NSA nervous; so he asked Joshua to find this Scoper and accepts. Joshua meets up with Diaz at his place where he introduces his daughter Anna (played by Mía Maestro) and no more than two minutes it's revealed that Anna's the new Scoper and Joshua leaves. Well that didn't take so long did it? Joshua meets up with Anna the next day at a restaurant and they talk to each other and....WOW THIS FILM IS BORING! I’m having a tough time keep going just by reviewing this film. Anyway Joshua reports to Bridger (played by Blair Brown) and immediately denies that it's her. Back at his hotel room he meets with a Scoper friend Kira (played by Taryn Manning) and I'm just gonna skip a bit from here because I'm pretty we already know a few things without the boring exposition. The film pads out of Joshua meeting up with Anna at the restaurant talking through telepathy. These scenes would be important if they're weren't so boring; so blah blah blah Sandy helps out the Scopers so the government can use them blah blah blah. Then FINALLY a plot-point pops up; apparently Anna is 31 years old and doesn't have Widmann's Disease. That night Joshua gets a call from Anna that her father is dead; Joshua goes to the funereal the following day. Blah blah blah Joshua is sent back to New York blah blah blah Joshua and Anna want to be together blah blah BLAH! MY GOD DO SOMETHING DO ANYTHING EXCITING FILM!

Back in New York Joshua heads to the Home for Gifted Children.... Really film...really just practically ripped off the X-Men out of the blue. Yeah Speed of Thought you can go blow me. Anyway he meets with Sandy to learn that Kira suffered through Widmann's and died. Joshua meets up with Anna through telepathy...again and Joshua starts having an episode. Basically hearing too many voices and can't filter them out until Anna filters out. How don't know and it's too convoluted to even try to explain how so moving on. Later that night Joshua is awaken by a voice he tries to block it out but can't. The voice tells him to get away and fast because of something he's not supposed to know and to take Anna with him. Joshua goes to his father...I think and asked for help to leave the country and he does. One completely random scene later Joshua and Anna make their way to an airport and fly off in an airline disguised as flight attendance. They've arrived to.....somewhere and they're approached by two NSA agents but make a run for it. Here it's established that Joshua is developing a power suggestion it almost work on the two agents but they caught him as Anna escapes and he's taken back to New York. Well that whole leave the country plan rather falls short fast what a way to waste the film's runtime. Got anymore pointless scenes you want to abruptly cut short immediately? Seriously what was the point of having the two leave the country if they're just gonna get captured THE VERY NEXT SCENE? The NSA must have the work speed of the Flash. Anyway Joshua using his suggestion makes his escape and run into the not dead Kira; she tells him that there is no Widmann's Disease and that the pills keeps their powers from getting stronger. Kira then went into hiding when NSA knew what she knows. Joshua decides to infiltrate the Home which is now on lockout by the NSA to rescue Anna; he successful makes it in and meets up with Sandy and Bridger. Joshua tries to suggest Sandy but SURPRISE Sandy is a Scoper. So to summarize Sandy invented an imaginary disease to fool Scopers to take power suppressive pills to the point of insanity and have themselves die by chose. This is all just to make the "normals" feel less paranoid about the Scopers. Bridger offers Joshua to be in charge of the Home with Anna by his side; he would only agree if they stop forcing Scopers to take the pills but Sandy refuses but Bridger agrees. Disappointed Sandy tries to kill Joshua by controlling Bridger but with the combine power of Joshua and Anna they control Bridger to shoot Sandy dead. The film ends with Joshua and Anna in charge of the Home helping the Scoper children.

My Final Verdict: This film is BORING! The film cuts to scenes that feels like they abruptly just stop and before moving to the next scene. While other scenes have exposition that brings the film almost to a foot dragging crawl. Hell one scene is immediately contradicted by the following scene apparently making that one entirely pointless. How could a film which features psychic powers can be so boring? Speed of Thought my ass more like Speed of Dull. I just reviewed Dreamscape not that long ago and I enjoyed it, hell Scanners is more enjoyable than this film. Actually when you think about this film is more or less the polar opposite of Scanners. Imagine if David Cronenberg made Scanners this boring you'll fall into a coma 10 minutes in. And while I'm on the subject of David Cronenberg I'm taking a short recess to prepare for October for a month long celebration of Halloween with David Cronenberg Month. Stay tuned folks.

The Film Vindicator Review: Sands of Oblivion

So what's so important with this film you're asking? Well when I came this film on the Sci-Fi Channel two familiar names appeared that got me by surprise which compelled me to watch this film despite how average it is. And those two names are Morena Baccarin and Adam Baldwin; YEP two of the main casts from Firefly are in this film. Considered your mind blown folks.

The film starts off with two flashbacks but they're a bit lengthy so I'm gonna summarize them down. Back in ancient Egypt an evil demi-god Im-La-Ra terrorizes villages and towns. Egyptian mystics use a ritual to imprisoned Im-La-Ra in an Anubis statue and to be sure it remains imprison the amulet of Ra which was use in the ritual was to be bury from the light of day. Continuing the flashback, we cut to the Guadalupe Sand Dunes of central California in 1923 where the filming of The Ten Commandments is finished and Director Cecil B. de Mille orders for the set to be torn down and buried. Because apparently there's been unexplained accidents on the film set and that Mr. de Mille believes that one of the antiquities may have lay a curse and that burying the film set made keep the curse at bay. Everybody got that? While the set is being torn down a young boy John Tevis comes across the amulet of Ra and buries it along with some personal items in a "time capsule". Cut to present day we John Tevis (played by George Kennedy) now as an old man who is with his grandson Mark (played by Victor Webster) at the Guadalupe Sand Dunes searching for his time capsule. We cut to a motel room where Jayne...I MEAN...Jesse Carter (played by Adam Baldwin) gives a private "archaeological tutoring" with a female college student. Oh please, Jayne an archaeologist....well maybe in finding bullets in the people he shot. We cut to a dig site of the de Mille film set where we're introduced to Inara...I MEAN...Alice Carter (played by Morena Baccarin) who is the professor in charge of the dig site and soon to be ex-wife of Jayne...AH...Jesse DAMN IT. Mark and John arrived at the dig site persuades Alice to let them on the site to look for the time capsule. Since John is the last person alive who knows about the film site she agrees. A little bit later Mark and John found the time capsule and right after that the ground beneath John collapse and ends hanging upside down in a chamber. In the chamber we see the statue where Im-La-Ra is imprisoned comes to life and attacks John, his arm gets ripped off before getting pulled out of the hole. Losing too much blood, John slowly dies. After Mark and Alice grief for the loss of his grandfather, she explains that the tides will soon come flooding in washing away the film set in the process. So Alice is brought in to safely move the entire film set within two weeks. This coincidently is right up Marks alley because back when he was a solider in Iraq, he was in charge of moving people and equipment in a short time. This somehow impresses Inara...DAMN IT...Alice so much she hires him as a coordinator. Shortly thereafter....JESSE arrives to the site and he and Alice have what I can describe is a Mal Inara deja-vu scene. Soon after that the digging crew found the film set and I'm not kidding Alice makes a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference with "I was digging in the wrong place after all". As the crew try to dig up the set further the driver of a bulldozer starts seeing scorpions swarming all around him and unknowingly has the bulldozer moving towards the crew. Getting closer and closer, the bulldozer hits one of the crew-members chopping the poor guy's head off.

We cut to nighttime at the dig site where another one of Alice's crew is killed this time by Im-La-Ra. The following day Mark, and Alice, and Jesse go inside the film set to investigate until they're attacked by Im-La-Ra; it goes after Alice but she's protected by the amulet and Im-La-Ra runs off. Later in the film set the trio continues investigating and...hey guys remember that dog-head creature thing you just saw not that long ago. Not gonna question what it was or anything? Anyway they discovered a chamber where the creature was is not part of the film set but a prison to the creature. We cut to Jesse a team reconstruct the prison until he notices one of Alice's crew-member chanting in Egyptian and follows her. He spots her getting killed instantly by Im-La-Ra. Mark and Alice stop at a studio archive to learn more about the film set; they've learned that the film crew shipped some artifacts to the film set via smugglers and grave-robbers. Furthermore these artifacts were discovered at a pyramid which possess negative energy and that the chamber they've unearthed was commissioned by de Mille to contain the negative energy from the artifacts. Everybody got that? Back at the site Jesse spots another crew-member getting killed by Im-La-Ra; instead of going all Jayne and kick its ass he gets choked by it. At a motel Mark and Alice are looking through some old until Jesse now mentally gone bye bye arrives at the motel demanding for the amulet. Apparently Im-La-Ra send him to destroy the amulet and it'll let him live. Im-La-Ra arrives at the motel and three got out; Mark decides to stop by at a war buddy's place and gear up to kick ass. But of course Jesse follows them and takes Alice hostage; oh Jayne what would Mal think of this. Jesse makes his escape with Alice via dune buggy and Mark follows in pursuit. Mark catches up to Jesse and jumps on to the buggy; the two fight until Mark throws him off the buggy. Mark and Alice drive off as Im-La-Ra isn't far behind and kills Jesse; bye Jayne there'll be a service held in Jaynestown. Mark and Alice arrive at the reconstructed chamber but unfortunately Mark dropped the amulet and Im-La-Ra obtains it. They retreat to the chamber and apparently it keeps Im-La-Ra out for now. And here's where things take a turn for the silly; Im-La-Ra summons the wall paintings in the chamber to kill Mark and Alice. Let me repeat that Im-La-Ra summons the wall paintings in the chamber to kill Mark and Alice. So Mark fights the wall paintings as Alice gets the rocket launcher and some grenades from the buggy. The ends with Mark armed with the rocket launcher kills Im-La Ra and he and Alice get together in the end.

My Final Verdict: I'll be honest right now this film is silly, the exposition feels from loopy to meeting half way with the rest of the film. I've watched this film solely to see two familiar cast members from Firefly just playing off each other so well it's crazy. Adam Baldwin appears to be having fun in this film especially when he goes to his crazy Jayne mode in the end. The special effects here are for the most part sub-par that's saying for some films you've seen on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Next time we're looking into The Speed of Thought and trust me it's not as exciting as the title claims to be.

The Film Vindicator Review: Dreamscape

I came upon this film to use as background noise to work on my comic. But little did I know this film would catch my attention.

We start off with a rather trippy nightmare scene of a woman running away from a nuclear explosion...did I put in Wacthmen by mistake? Well no it's actually a nightmare from the President of the United States (played by Eddie Albert). And no he doesn't have a name for some reason it's just the President despite in the nightmare the woman calls him John. We cut to a horse race track where we're introduced to Alex Gardner (played by Dennis Quaid) using his psychic powers to predict which horse will the race and place his bet on that horse. As he collects his winnings and leaves, he's confronted by a gangster/extortionist named Snead (played by Redmond Gleeson). Alex managed to get away and escapes by taxi; later at his place he's approached by two men Finch (played by Peter Jason) and Babcock (played by Chris Mulkey) from Thornhill College. Giving no choice now that he spots Snead's thugs arriving at his place, he goes with them. At the college he's introduced to a Dr. Jane DeVries (played by Kate Capshaw yep the same Kate Capshaw from Temple of Doom; don't worry her annoyance level here is low). She explains about a project involving dream research; specifically what's happening to a person mentally and physically while sleeping. Jane is called away for a moment which gives Alex a chance to sneak into a dream-linking room where soon after he's reunited with his former mentor Dr. Paul Novotny (played by Max von Sydow). We cut to a bar where Novotny explains to Alex of the possibility of entering other peoples' dreams not just to experience them but to shape and manipulate their dreams. With a special machine that helps him to connect with other peoples' dream he can do so. Apparently there are two others like Alex at the college but they're not as advanced as Alex; therefore he’s more qualified to do this. Later back at the college Alex sneaks into the dream-linking room again to see a session in progress; one of the two psychics Edward Simms (uncredited) is linked to a young boy Buddy (played by Cory Yothers) who is having a severe nightmare. (So severe in fact Simms is now a veg later on.) Novotny and Jane stop the dream session before Buddy's and the psychic's vitals got worse. The following morning after refusing to help out, Alex is blackmailed by Novonty to participate it the project or Alex is in real trouble with the IRS. The next Alex is rudely introduced to Tommy Ray Glatman (played by David Patrick Kelly) before going off to a dream-linking session. With the dream-linking in progress Alex is now inside the dream of a construction worker. Inside the dream, Alex sees the worker being tripped by a steel beam and now is hanging on to the beam. Alex jumps on to the beam trying to save him but falls off before waking up fully amazed of what he just experience. A little bit later Alex is approached by Bob Blair (played by Christopher Plummer looking a hell of a bit like Michael Fassbender) who apparently runs the dream-linking project for the government. Blair asks for Alex to keep the dream-linking project a secret from the outside world; Alex agrees. Outside the campus Alex meets up with Jane and Buddy; Alex talks to Buddy about his nightmares. Buddy mostly describes his nightmares about some huge monster that keeps tormenting him. We cut to another nightmare scene from the President of buildings being blown up by nuclear bombs and a post-nuclear apocalypse before waking up. These recurring post-nuclear apocalypse nightmares are eventually affecting his job as president. The following day Blair pays a visit to the President and propose that the President should partake in the dream-linking project to help clear his mind; the President agrees.

The next scene feels a bit of a padding scene so honestly I'm gonna skip it. Alex volunteers to dream-link with Buddy to help him; Novotny protest but eventually allows him to. Alex enters Buddy's dream to what it looks like something straight out of Beeltejuice's wet nightmares. Alex and Buddy are confronted by the Snakeman (Buddy's bogeyman) and immediately run away. Now cornered, Alex struggles to fight the Snakeman until Buddy summons the courage to confront and kill the Snakeman with an axe. Both awaken from the dream-link Buddy is finally cured from his nightmares while Alex is a little shaken by the Snakeman. We cut to Alex at a pub when his approached by a novelist Charlie Prince (played by George Wendt). He informs Alex that he knows about the dream-link project and that Blair is in charge of a covert intelligence bureau bent on using the project for something sinister. But before Charlie could tell him more he spots one of Blair's men and leaves. Back at the college Alex finds Jane asleep and proceeds to dream-link with her without the dream-link machine. In her dream she's on a train and is approached by Alex and the two make love...or dream love...hot...appealing...passionate dream lovvvv ANYWAY! Jane wakes very upset of what Alex did but quickly becomes impressed because Alex tells her he did it without the machine. Later another dream-link is taking place this time it's Tommy dream-linked to an elderly woman. However, the elderly woman's vitals began to spike and starts to die. Oh I'm sure it was just an accident, I mean it's not like Tommy intentionally killed that poor woman right....<_<....>_>....o_o We cut to Alex breaking into Novonty's office and searches for a file on Tommy, there he learns that Tommy murdered his own father. Later Alex meets up with Charlie outside the campus; Charlie implies that the accident with the elderly woman wasn't an accident and that Blair is using the dream-link project as a means of covert assassinations. They're immediately interrupted when Alex sees four of Blair's men; make a run to a pep rally leaving the campus but got separated. Alex is caught while Charlie is shot and killed on the spot. Before long Alex escapes from Blair's men and warns Jane about Blair. Alex returns to the college as Jane helps him sneaks in; they found of Blair's men and a now dead Novonty. Apparently Novonty tries to stop Blair's suspicious activities but to no prevail. Alex learns that Blair is gonna kill the President with Tommy as his psychic assassin. So it's revealed that Blair means to assassinate the President in the hope to prevent nuclear disarmament hence the President's post-nuclear apocalypse nightmares. Believing that these nightmares will become true hence the President decides to call for a nuclear disarmament. But this is unacceptable to Blair so yeah kill the president, nuke the world. Alex soon enters the President's dream bent on protecting him from Tommy...alright aright it's pretty clear that Tommy is the bad guy. Hell it should be SO FLIPPING OBVIOUS from the start that Tommy's the bad guy especially when Tommy is played by DAVID PATRICK KELLY who is well known of playing asshole bad guys from films such as Commando and The Warriors. Alex and the President try to get away but since it's a dream and can do whatever you want Tommy has the advantage. We cut to a subway and brace yourselves folks where we see Tommy in ninja pajamas welding a nunchaku. Wow...this would make the Cinema Snob cry out of joy. Alex tries to fight him but Tommy (in an impressive use of the film's practical effects) morphs himself into a snakeman. Alex and the President run out of the train making their way through the desolate dream wasteland until they're cornered by Tommy/Snakeman. Alex gets wounded but quickly heals himself while Tommy/Snakeman goes after the President; Alex morphs into Tommy's murdered father which distracts Tommy/Snakeman long enough for the President to stab him with a pipe. Being killed in the dream also means at the same being killed in your sleep. Alex and the President are awake and safe while Blair gets away scott free...or does he? We cut to Blair approached by Alex (yet another impressive use of the film's practical effects) morphs into a snakeman. Obviously it's a nightmare but this is a nightmare that Blair won't be waking up from...ever. The film ends with Alex and Jane happily together on a train heading to Louisville.

My Final Verdict: Something about this film deeply impress me mainly the effects in the dream sequences. Honestly best usage of visually and practical effects I've ever seen. Obviously miniatures were use in the post-nuclear apocalypse nightmare scenes were use so well in my opinion especially with the locations used in these scene were well fitted.The music here is interesting almost reminds of the music themes from Tron. The film's choice of casting is very impressive; Kate Capshaw's acting range here is far better than in Temple of Doom and that's saying a lot. And of course David Patrick Kelly is flipping phenomenal.

Next time this is going out to a certain group of fans to geek cult classic that was abruptly taken off from TV years ago. Stay tuned as we look into Sands of Oblivion.