New Years Eve Review 2012

Hey everyone it's that time of the New Year again where I review films that I've watched in the theaters in 2012. So here we go again.

Prometheus: I was really brought into watching this after seeing the trailer but it turns to just another pretty looking film. This film just keep missing the point it tries so hard to get across as it met to established the Alien universe.

Total Recall: OK lets be honest here this film was no way gonna surpass the original hell it can't even surpass the short story. Just another short -sighted action flick that fails to grasp the story.

Looper: The concept is interesting enough and can be enjoyable to watch on its own merits.

Chronicle: Out of all the crappy found-footage-films this one in a good way shines above the rest clearly because this film wasn't made of dumb.

Wreck-It-Ralph: This film has a beautiful moment that actually made me cry it's a beautiful film.

Cabin in the Woods: My god.........this film...........is EPIC WIN good. This film is self-aware yet it plays itself straight it's flipping brilliant.

The Raid: The two words that'll explain on how AWESOME this film is borderline brutal. The current action films these days can actually learn something from this film.

Dark Knight Rises: Well it may not be as epic as Dark Knight but it's still entertaining and has a good closure to the franchise.

Skyfall: I got no words describing the beauty and greatness this film has displayed on screen.

The Avengers: PURE NERDVANA....nuff said.

12 Days of Christmas (Film Vindicator Edition)

That's right folks I'm singing a film version of the 12 Days of Christmas enjoy.

"On the First day of Christmas a film buff gave to me A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Second day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Two Expendables and a Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Third day of Christmas a film buff gave to me a Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Fourth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me a Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Fifth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Sixth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Seventh day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Eighth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Eight Bellas Whining, Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Ninth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Nine Crappy Remakes, Eight Bellas Whining, Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Tenth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Ten Black Swans, Nine Crappy Remakes, Eight Bellas Whining, Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Eleventh day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Eleven Ranting Critics, Ten Black Swans, Nine Crappy Remakes, Eight Bellas Whining, Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

"On the Twelveth day of Christmas a film buff gave to me Twelve Bays Exploding, Eleven Ranting Critics, Ten Black Swans, Nine Crappy Remakes, Eight Bellas Whining, Seven Samurais, Six Hulks a Smashing, FIIIIIIIVE DIE HARD FIIIIILMS, Four Crystal Skulls, Three Dark Knights, Two Expendables, and A Twilight on an open flame"

Thanks a lot everyone Merry Christmas.

The Film Arsenal: The Mini-Gun a/k/a Old Painless

Merry Christmas everyone and welcome back to the The Film Arsenal. The Gatling gun or the mini-gun; the most powerful machine gun ever created. In most films it’s used in helicopters, tanks, and other military vehicles; mostly just a turret weapon. But as far as I know, in 1987 all that changed in the film Predator. Used by the character Blain (played by Jesse “The Body” Ventura) to mow down groups of enemies in sight. Though the Gatling gun was made to be a handheld gun for the film it’s not exacting lightweight and controllable, one squeeze of the trigger and it’s like you’re in a rodeo. Not to mention carrying around a 1,000 rounds in a backpack. This gun is so awesome in the film that it even has a nickname Old Painless. The handheld mini-gun was used in other films that followed such Terminator 2: Judgment Day used by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. And in Resident Evil Apocalypse where the antagonist Nemesis uses a one handed mini-gun that fires 5,000 rounds. In 2010 Old Painless makes an epic comeback in the sequel Predators also in 2010 a shoulder mounted mini-gun is use in the film Iron Man 2 by the armored hero War Machine.

The Film Vindicator Review: Brain Smasher A Love Story

Hey everyone and welcome back before we started I would like as to ask for a moment of silence for my sister of 27 years Karen Wilson who passed away on December 10th. She will be missed but not forgotten by the Wilson Clan...................................thank you now on with the review.

We start off with a guy on a pay phone; this is our main character Ed Molloy a/k/a Brain Smasher (played by Andrew Dice Clay). After he's done on the phone, he then breaks the forth wall taking to the audience like he's Frankie Muniz. Right away I'm not impressed with this film folks. After the opening credits we cut to London, England we're introduced to Samantha Crain (played by Teri Hatcher). She receives a letter from her sister Cammy Crain (played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh) asking her to deliver a package to Portland, Oregon. At Portland Samantha arrives at a warehouse where she's confronted by Shaolin Monks of the Red Lotus sect who has captured her sister. The leader of the monks Wu (played by Yuji Okumoto) demands Samantha to give them the package which is a red lotus. As soon as Samantha is about to hand them the package Cammy breaks free from the monks and the two escaped. Before I go on the film has a shitty running gag of Samantha calling the monks ninjas that gets annoying rather quickly and Samantha is flipping retarded. Or at least the writer of this film is flipping retarded. On the run Cammy explains that the red lotus possesses some type of ultimate power and the monks want it. Cammy takes the red lotus and the two split up with the monks on the trail follow Samantha. She stops at night club where Ed works as a bouncer and don't get your hopes that this film will be just as awesome as The Bouncer video game. Even though Ed is rather competent that he took out two of the monks with no problem. Samantha enters the night club and Ed follows; the rest of the monks enter the night club and immediately start beating up everyone. Ed catches up with Samantha and she explains her situation but Ed doesn't believe her until the monks. The two escape night club and hitch a ride on a bus. They stop by Ed's parents’ house....for some reason and trust me there's nothing important here so let’s skip it. The monks catch up to them at Ed's place and the two make a run for it; Ed takes out a few of the monks before he and Samantha are arrested by the cops. At the police station they told the cops of what's gonna on but cops in this film are made of useless and kinda racist; so another pointless scene to skip. The monks arrive and as usually they beat the crap out of everything that moves. Ed and Samantha got out of the station leaving the asshole cops to die and honestly I don't blame them. Ed complains that he's in way over his head and decides to leave Samantha; I don't know what he's complaining about he's been doing just fine against the monks. Later Samantha tries to contact Cammy at a hotel and the manager asked her to come to the hotel. But little does she know that IT'S A TRAP by set up by the monks. Samantha waits at a strip club for a ride at the hotel until Ed arrives and soon after the monks. A fight breaks out as Samantha tries to get away; Ed holds off the monks as much as he could enough for Samantha to get away. Samantha arrives at a church where she meets up with Cammy. The two called the monks making a trade for Ed for the red lotus at a closed night club. The monks arrive with Ed as the sisters wait for them. And with that another fight breaks out; Cammy armed with a gun takes out the remaining monks leaving only Wu. Wu knocks out Cammy and starts beating on Ed but he gets an upper hand and punches Wu's face in...quite literally. Wu still around has the red lotus and proceeds to eat it GAME OVER right..... Nope it turns out not only the lotus is a fake it's also poisonous and Wu dies. OK....if that lotus was poisonous why bother fighting the monks? Just let them have it and just maybe they would all eat it and die. Anyway Ed and Samantha get together and the film ends and THANK GOD IT'S OVER.

My Final Verdict: Back in my Timecop review I said it was the perfect definition of 90s action. This film is the polar opposite of that; it's just one of the worst I've ever seen. And ever more worst it tries to be funny and FAILS! You want a good action comedy look up The Golden Child. This film kinda got something going for it but there's just so much stupid that makes your brain scream. I would really want to like this film if I wasn't so distracted by the stupid in most scenes.

And with that garbage out of the way stay tuned next time as we look into a film as a celebration of Twilight FINALLY DONE and hopefully to be forgotten in time. Next time it's The Vampire Effect.

The Film Vindicator Review: Blood: The Last Vampire

Well it's finally come down to reviewing crappy live action films based off of popular animes and mangas. Just like with popular video games turned into shit-stain films due to the piss-poor decisions by the filmmakers. So does Blood: The Last Vampire fails to live up its anime film counterpart?

We start off on a train in 1970s Japan as we're introduced to Saya Otonashi (played by Jun Ji-hyun) in an opening scene that's downright similar to the opening scene from the anime film. In fact this film does a almost scene to scene from the anime film. Anyway Saya stares at a man who starts getting nervous of being watched by her. The nervous man tries to leave into the next train cars but Saya pursues him until he's cornered. The man rips out a metal railing and proceeds to attack Saya but she pulls out a sword and cuts him dead. When the train stops at a station Saya is approached by a group of men led by Michael Harrison (played by Liam Cunningham) who are basically a cleanup crew after every vampire she kills to leave no evidence. So it's revealed that Saya works for an organization called the Council that hunts down vampires for centuries. In this film there is flashback that explains Saya's backstory but I'll just tell to you for the sake of time Saya is a centuries old human/vampire hybrid whose father was the most revered vampire hunter. At a motel room Saya receives a new mission from Harrison to investigate some gruesome killings at Kanto High School near a US air force base in Tokyo. This may lead her chance to find and kill Onigen the oldest and very powerful vampire. At the high school we're introduced to Alice McKee (played by Allison Miller) (who's the daughter of the base's general) as Saya arrives at the school. Cut to a kendo class Alice is being asked to stay and practice only to be left at the mercy of two classmates coming at her with swords until Saya arrives and kills them both. Alice leaves after witnessing what just happened but shortly returns with father but the Council has already clean up the scene. Later at a Japanese restaurant Harrison receives word from his contact that Onigen has arrived in Japan as we cut to Onigen (played by Koyuki) arriving at a fancy hotel. Cut to Alice following her kendo instructor Powell (played by Colin Salmon) believing that he knows something of what's going on. Alice trails him down at a bar and questions him but it turns out only he's a vampire but everyone in the bar are vampires. Alice runs away and the vampires chase after her; she gets cornered but is saved by Saya. The scene breaks out into a pretty good action sequence which luckily the camera stays perfectly still instead of shaking around like you're having a seizure. Powell arrives and turns into a beast like creature snatches Alice and runs off but Saya pursues. Saya catches up to him and saves Alice again as Powell sprouts wings and flies off. Saya and Alice drive to the Kanto Air Base and spots Powell heading towards a plane about to take off and once again the film takes a similar approach from the anime film as the girls in the jeep catches up to him and Saya cuts him down dead. Saya tells Alice to just go home and forget what she had seen.

Later Alice's father has been investigating on the Council agents disguised as CIA; this unfortunately causes his own life when one of the agents Luke (played by JJ Feild) arrives and shoots him dead. Alice then shortly arrives witnessed the aftermath and managed to take out the agent temporary. Alice locates Saya from a notepad and immediately Luke orders to open fire on Alice. But since Saya has no loyalty for the Council only providing info for her, she protects Alice. Luke corners Saya and Alice but Harrison arrives to stop him but Luke shoots him down. Damn the one film where Liam Cunningham isn't the bad guy and he gets killed off; that's honestly a real let down. Anyway Saya kills Luke but not before getting wounded and the two run off in an army truck. They stop at an ancient house in the middle of the forest; Alice putting two and two together cuts open her hand and gives blood to Saya enabling her to recover. The next morning the two continue driving searching for Onigen until they are attacked by her underling. Saya and Alice are run off the road and the truck gets stuck in a chasm. Saya continues to fight the underling until she manages to defeat it but the truck starts falling further into the chasm. Miraculously the two survived the fall...somehow and they woke into a place straight out of Inuyasha. Seriously I have no clue where they are so I'm just gonna assume that the chasm was the ancient well and the two ended up in Inuyasha's time period...whatever. This is where the final showdown between Saya and Onigen takes place and it's revealed that Onigen is Saya's mother. Insert your own Empire Strikes Back joke here. So far it appears that Onigen has the upper hand until Alice attacks her from behind with a pitch fork before Onigen knocks her out. Saya gains the upper hand and finally kills Onigen ending the Inuyasha zone and returning to the real world. Yeah try to make sense of what the hell I'm talking about. The film ends with Alice being questioned about the events that happened mentioning that Saya is still out there searching.

My Final Verdict: OK this may gonna surprise all of you but this film is not all that bad honestly. When watching it the first time before I started reviewing films I thought it was average. But watching it again it's a decent film; the source material isn't all deluded and was put together just fine. Unlike films such as Dragonball Evolution where everything is slapped together like a puddle of piss in a pothole. So I think it's safe to say that yeah Blood: The Last Vampire is one of the rare good films based off an anime/manga. Pretty much on the same level of Mortal Kombat being one of the rare good films based off a video game. And may I dare say that Saya has better emotional range than Bella Swan. Anyway stay tuned next time as we look into Brainsmasher: A Love Story...I'm getting a feeling that the title sounds like a lie.

The Film Vindicator Review: Where The Heart Is

Hey everyone hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving so on to Where The Heart Is. Ever come across a film while scanning through channels that you don't know what's all about but somehow has caught your attention. I came across this film and I slowly started to like it apparently being one of my personal favorite films.

We start off introduced to a pregnant Novalee Nation (played by Natalie Portman) on a road trip from Tennessee to California with her asshole boyfriend Willy Jack Pickens (played by Dylan Bruno). And the film will never let you forget how much of an asshole he is; so much so in fact that he LEAVES Novalee at a Wal-Mart in Sequoyah, Oklahoma. Hang on let me get my Tricorder here......yep a douchebag but don't worry the Karma faerie will get him soon enough. Now stranded, Novalee resource to stay the night at the Wal-Mart which I find that impossible considering the store may have security guards and cameras but I'll let that slide. We cut back to the asshole boyfriend picking some woman after her car broke down and immediately starts flirting with her. Well do we sure know this guy’s priorities stranding his pregnant girlfriend to pick up a new girl to pork; someone gives this guy the fucking asshole award. A little bit later he gets pulled over by the cops only to find out the woman robbed a Seven/Eleven and is fourteen years old and the two get arrested. Told you the Karma faerie was gonna get him. Cut to next day Novalee stops by at a public library and meets Forney Hull (played by James Frain) who's the librarian and doing his best Jeff Goldblum impersonation. Earlier in the film she meets Sister Husband (played by Stockard Channing) who gives her a Buckeye tree but starts to die out. So Novalee stops by at Sister's place to have it planted and looked after. Back at the closed Wal-Mart Novalee's water broke and goes into labor; she starts to give birth while Forney jumps through the window to help deliver the baby before the film cuts away. Cut to a hospital room where Novalee awakens and meets with Lexie Coop (played by Ashley Judd) apparently Novalee has become the talk of town as the Mother of the Wal-Mart baby. Yeah despite living in the Wal-Mart and practically stolen items they're actually OK with that. Reunited with her baby girl she names Americus she's then reunited with her mother (played by Sally Field) who when left Novalee when she was five. She offers to help out BUT instead being a complete bitch takes her money that she got from people and leaves her at the hospital. Jesus is everyone she knows in her life are total assholes to her? Sister arrives at the hospital and offers Novalee to stay at her place. Novalee gets back on her feet as she now works at the same Wal-Mart she lived in and is now friends with Lexie. Later at the library she tries reading books about photography as it established that she wants to be a photographer. And it's here we get a backstory on Forney as it turns out his sister is the librarian but is suffering health problems due to alcoholism. So he watches his sister as well as the library. It's December and Novalee and Forney are out getting a Christmas tree; Forney notices that Americus is five months old this gets Novalee worried and makes a mad dash to Sister's place. Since the start of the film it's established that Novalee has a high superstition of the number five. Back when she was five her mother left, when she worked at a restaurant a customer went crazy and stabs her in the arm getting 55 stitches to close the wound. So now she believes the number five is a sign of trouble or a negative event of significance is to come. Returning to Sister's place it's revealed that Americus is kidnapped. Now it turns out that a married couple from Midnight, Mississippi kidnapped Americus for not being born in wedlock. This was established back at the hospital when Novalee gets a letter from them and as they show up at Sister's place. OK so how did they know where she lives and also why take the initiative to kidnap a baby if you're just gonna leave the baby at a Christmas display in front of a church? Oh yes that's where the cops found Americus unharmed; WORST KIDNAPPERS EVER!

We cut to Wally...you know the asshole who left Novalee anyway he approaches to a music manager Ruth Meyers (played by Joan Cusack) for a chance to start a singing career. So he does and in a span of three years is singing in radio stations. We cut back to Sister's place as Novalee heads out to photograph at a wedding. Later a powerful storm approaches to Sequoyah and Novalee and Americus head to a shelter. Not knowing what's become of Sister's, Novalee tries to go find her but a tornado is already close by and she quickly gets back down to the shelter. In the aftermath it's revealed that Sister was killed in the tornado -_-. Cut to next day Novalee receives an estate that Sister left for her, everything from the land, the insurance on her trailer, and even life insurance. So with that she gets a new house built, so yeah LUCKIEST WOMAN EVER! Back to Wally he tries to get a better deal with another manager but the declines and leaves him. Wally is then approached by Ruth and long story short there's a falling out. Back at Novalee's she gets a call from Lexie's kids she notices something is wrong over the phone and heads to Lexie's. Upon arriving the place looks wrecked and Novalee find her all beat up. She invites Lexie and the kids to stay at her place. It turns out Lexie's new new boyfriend was attempting to molest her children but she managed to fight him off. More sad moments when Forney's sister passed away after keeping her alive for so long. Upon Novalee finding Forney at an apartment after the funeral the two make out. Forney admits to Novalee that he loves her but she doesn't seem to be so sure if she feels the same. Cut back to Wally drunken and pitiful wonders to some train tracks and trips on one and gets run over by a oncoming train...OUCH! A few months later at Americus's birthday Novalee noticed a newspaper about a legless man with his wheelchair stolen. Of course it's Wally and she goes to see him at a hospital the two make their peace on what happened five years ago and Novalee heads to Maine where Forney is attending college. She finally admits to him that she loves him and the film ends with the two getting married at the Wal-Mart of all places.

My Final Verdict: I love this film because of how real world it feels with the characters and the world of the film itself. The performances here are excellent from the actors even from the supporting actors. I felt like a change of pace was necessary after reviewing action, horror, and sci-fi films for a while so expect more films like this one in the future. But until then stay tuned next time as we look into the live-action adaptation of Blood: The Last Vampire.

The Cinema Snob Movie

So I went to HorrorHound over the weekend and had a great time I brought home a two-disc special edition of The Lost Boys which there was no way in hell I was gonna say no to that. And a new film called The Cinema Snob Movie; that's right I've met and chat with Brad Jones a/k/a The Cinema Snob along with Ed Glaser, Sarah Lewis, and Jake Norvell. Most have which autographed my copy of the DVD and upon watching this film I have to say I don't think the trailer did any justice to show how amazingly well made and hilarious the film is. Seriously I wasn't expecting so much thought out exposition and meaning put into this film. So yeah thank you Brad and the rest of the cast and crew for this amazing film and that everyone else should get this film IMMEDIATELY.

http://www.walkawayentertainment.com/Walkaway_Entertainment/THE_CINEMA_SNOB_MOVIE.html

The Film Arsenal: Freddy's Glove

Happy Halloween everyone and welcome back to The Film Arsenal. Freddy Krueger you know him, you fear him, you love him. So lets talk about his personal weapon of choice the clawed glove. Introduced in A Nightmare on Elm Street, the clawed glove has been the right hand of death to those who Freddy has crossed paths with. This "handy" weapon has made the character menacing, popular, and memorable even up to this day. One swipe from this glove and it can leave a hell of a mess on Freddy's victims. It slices, it dices, it skews, makes a nifty game controller, and makes a handy apple peeler. Throughout eight films only two other people have used this weapon but not as affectively as Freddy. The only person who can stand up against the clawed glove is none other than Jason Voorhees. The clawed claw don't go to bed without it.

TFV: David Cronenberg Month Review: Scanners

Hey everyone Happy Halloween and welcome to the last leg of David Cronenberg Month so buckle up folks.

We start off at a mall food court where we're introduced to Cameron Vale (played by Stephen Lack). He sits at a table and stares at two middle aged women; he continues to stare while they started denigrating him until one of them begins to convulse. It turns out he's causing her convulsions mentally out of being provoke. He spots two mystery men who have noticed the commotion and leaves but the two men follow him. As he makes it to an escalator one of men shoots him with a tranquilizer gun; Cameron continues to getaway until the tranquilizer dart takes affect and the two men takes him away. Cameron awakens in a room strapped to a bed he is approached by a Dr. Paul Ruth (played by Patrick McGoohan) who informs him that he's a scanner. Basically able to "scan" and control people's minds; in other words way more awesome than those Scopers from Speed of Thought...just saying. The problem with all Scanners is that they're constantly bombarded with hundreds of stray thoughts from other people as it's shown with Cameron as Dr. Ruth brings in a group of people in the room. Dr. Ruth then gives Cameron an injection of Ephemerol which acts as a temporary suppression to Scanners and can help block out the stray thoughts. Later at a ConSec facility a scanner demonstration is taking place and the first volunteer to be scan is Darryl Revok (played by Michael Ironside). The demonstration starts and oh boy does it ends with a hell of a BANG. We see the Scanner trying to scan Revok's mind but struggles to do so; this leads to him to clinging violently until his head goes KABOOM! Turns out that Revok is a Scanner and a very powerful and dangerous one at that. So dangerous that he uses his scanner powers to kill some ConSec men and escapes. At a ConSec meeting Dr. Ruth informs the branch that there's an organized Scanner underground and Revok leads this underground. He then proposes that they send out Cameron to infiltrate the underground. Back at the undisclosed location Dr. Ruth continues to help Cameron to understand his gifts and help to control them. He then shows Cameron a film reel of a psychiatric session of Revok going ape crap crazy. Dr. Ruth explains that Revok has been seeking out other Scanners killing those who refuse to join him and that it's up to Cameron to him. Later Cameron is shown a dossier of a Scanner name Benjamin Pierce (played by Robert A. Silverman) who was in a prison for criminally insane for trying to kill his family. Dr Ruth explains that Pierce could be Cameron's only lead to Revok. Cameron heads to a art gallery where Pierce's sculptures are on display; he scans the gallery owner's mind and finds Pierce's address. He arrives at Pierce's and asks for his help to find Revok but Pierce refuses. They conversation is cut short when four of Revok's people with shotguns arrived and killed Pierce but Cameron uses his scanner powers to subdue them. With his last moments Pierce tells Cameron psychically to go a Scanner name Kim Obrist and her group of Scanners if he wishes to find Revok.

Later at night Cameron arrives at a apartment building where he meets other Scanners and Kim Obrist (played by Jennifer O'Neill). As Cameron joins in on their share scanning two of Revok's people enter the apartment building armed with shotguns gunned down a few of the Scanners. Insert your own "I got a shotgun" joke here. Kim takes out the two gunmen with her powers and the remaining Scanners escape by small bus. A black van filled with Revok's men catches up to the small bus and open fire with their shotguns killing all expect for Cameron and Kim. Gees shotguns are really affective against psychics are they? Cameron and Kim get away from the gunmen but are immediately confronted by a single gunman. Cameron stops him with his power and gains info on where Revok is via a small glass container with a Biocarbon Amalgamate logo on it. The next day Cameron infiltrates Biocarbon Amalgamate and tries to access a computer but no prevail only to find some program called Ripe and that Revok runs the place. Cameron returns to ConSec along with Kim informing Dr. Ruth about Biocarbon Amalgamate (which Dr. Ruth was its founder before selling it to ConSec) and that their shipping off ephemerol to somewhere. Meanwhile Kim is being interrogating by Keller (played by Lawrence Dane) but it turns out is working for Revok and is about to kill Kim. Fortunately Kim fends off Keller and escapes; Keller recovers sets off the alarm. Cameron leaves Dr. Ruth to go find Kim; Dr. Ruth starts monologuing to himself (for some reason) about the Ripe Program. He continues to monologue until Keller finds him and under orders of Revok kills Dr. Ruth. Cameron finds Kim and the two escapes from ConSec; at a gas station Cameron attempts to use his powers to access ConSec's main computers via phone booth. Back at ConSec Keller realizes that Cameron is scanning the computers and orders the computer techs to have the computers to self-destruct. While the computers are counting down to self-destruct Cameron has gain access to the Ripe Program; accessing a list of where the ephemerol is shipped off to. The computers self-destruct but Cameron causes a feedback causing the computers to explode killing some of the techs and Keller in the process. Hell even the phone booth exploded gees. Cameron and Kim stop at a small clinic where some of the ephemerol is shipped to; two revelations are revealed in this scene. One while Kim is in a waiting room she immediately gets scanned and discovers that she got scanned by a pregnant woman's unborn child. The other is what Cameron discovered that ephemerol is being injected into pregnant women ultimately creating unborn Scanner babies. Suddenly a tranquilizer dart crash through a window hitting Kim from behind; as soon as they're out of the clinic Kim passes out and Cameron is tranqed by Revok. We cut back to Biocarbon Amalgamate where Cameron awakens in Revok's office and this is where everything is revealed. It turns out that Dr. Ruth is Cameron's AND Revok's father and the two are brothers. Revok explains that ephemerol was originally used as a tranquilizer for pregnant women but ephemerol had an "invisible" side-effect on unborn babies resulting in creating Scanners. Furthermore, Dr. Ruth injected their pregnant mother with ephemerol resulting themselves becoming Scanners. Revok offers Cameron to join him in the new order along with the new generation of Scanners about to be born. Cameron refuses so Revok decides to "suck his brain dry" but Cameron fights back leading to a psychic duel between the two. And here's where things get really gruesome in this psychic duel so for the sake of your stomachs I'm just gonna skip a bit. We cut to Kim awaken and enters the office where she sees the burnt reminds of Cameron. But shocking she sense him psychically and finds him sitting at a corner only to see that it's Revok but with Cameron's mind now in full possession stating that "we've won" and the film ends.

My Final Verdict: Do I have explain how awesome this film is? The concept of people gaining psychic powers via drugs while still a fetus at the time is flipping scary. Kinda makes wonder what weird stuff your mom was injected with while you were still in the womb. The body horror effects are as gross out as ever and Michael Ironside is awesome considering that he make peoples' heads explode. Like The Fly Scanners had two follow up sequels Scanners II: The New Order and Scanners III: The Takeover and had a spin-off called Scanner Cop. And also like The Fly David Cronenberg was not involved directing them. Cronenberg still makes films nowadays but not as frequent as he did back in the 70s and 80s; and apparently has broken out of the body horror genre since then. His most recent films (that I've not seen yet) are History of Violence, Eastern Promises, and a new film that premiered this year Cosmopolis which....stars Robert Pattinson. Well at least Kristen Stewart or THANK GOD Stephenie Meyer is nowhere to be seen.

So I hope you enjoyed this years' celebration hope to see you again next Halloween as for me I'm gonna take a short break. But I'll be back with a new film to review so stay tuned next time as we look into Where The Heart Is. Happy Halloween.

TFV: David Cronenberg Month Review: Videodrome

Let's talk a bit about David Cronenberg; aside from directing films he's also done some work in a few TV series such as Friday the 13th the Series. Whenever he's not making films he's actually a bit of an actor from rather solid roles to cameo roles in films such as Nightbreed, Into The Night, and believe it or not Jason X. And yes he does have a cameo in this film as well...somewhere.

We start off with Max Renn (played by James Woods....oh piece a candy) president of Civic TV waking up from his couch nap and heads off to Civic TV station showing off some Japanese porn to his TV programing partners. OK if there's any TV station that shows porn I soooo want to work there. Later Max meets up with Harlan (played by Peter Dvorsky) at a clandestine office where he uses the Civic TV's satellite to intercept odd broadcasts from points of country's origin. Harlan intercepted a broadcast from Malaysia which is a display of a woman being tortured in a weird orange room. We cut to studio broadcast of a talk show where Max, Nicki Brand (played by Deborah Harry), and Professor Brian O'Blivion (played by Jack Creley) are being interviewed. And yes the professor's last name is O'Blivion as a TV pet name that is. Back at Harlan's office it's revealed to Max that the torture channel is not coming from Malaysia but from Pittsburgh. Later Max heads to a radio station where Nicki works at as some sort of radio psychiatrist. The two go off at Max's place for a dinner date and here we get to know a little bit more about Nicki. She asked if Max got away porn tapes for her to get in the mood....gees I wonder if she does that on every date just looking for some guy's porn to get the night going. She finds a tape labeled Videodrome NAME DROP; on the tape it's most of the pirated torture broadcast. This somehow turns her on and ask Max to get a knife and cut her at the shoulder but Max notice that there already a few cuts there. Oh man this is turning into Secretary. Anyway this breaks into a sex scene while the Videodrome tape is still playing and....EWWWWW JAMES WOODS NAKED! The next day Max meets up with Masha (played by Lynne Gorman) asking for her to track down Videodrome to have it as a new market for Civic TV. Back at Max's place Nicki tells him that she going away to Pittsburgh for two weeks for the chance to audition for Videodrome. Max gets heavily protective and warns her not to go to Pittsburgh and she may not be coming back if she goes to Videodrome. But this doesn't scare her at the slightest as she takes a lit cigarette and pokes herself in the chest. The next day at a restaurant Max meets up with Masha again and learns that Videodrome is not for the public and that they use real people real tortures not all staged. Put it simply Videodrome is snuff TV. She then gives him a name of who's behind Videodrome and its Professor Brian O'Blivion BUM BUM BAAAA. Max stop by at a Cathode Ray Mission to meet with O'Blivion but instead he meets with his daughter Bianca (played by Sonja Smits). He proceeds to ask her for a copy of Videodrome but Bianca seems to be unaware what he's talking about and Max leaves.

At his place Max receives a package from the office of O'Blivion; the package is a VHS tape and a very lively one too as we see it pulsating which freaks Max out. 0_0 Max plays the tape and it's here things take a turn for the REALLY weird. On the tape it's O'Blivion who takes something about "the battle for the mind of North America is fought in the video area Videodrome". He keeps talking about TV is reality and reality is less than TV; then O'Blivion starts talking to Max explaining how Max's now half of video hallucination. He further explains when had a brain tumor he began having visions; he believed that the visions caused the tumor. And upon removing the tumor it was called Videodrome and O'Blivion was its first victim. More REALLY weird stuff happens when Nicki appears on the TV as it starts to pulsate like its alive organic and Max starts making out to the TV. The next day Max returns to the mission tells Bianca about what he experienced upon watching the tape. And not only that Max was already been exposed to Videodrome via pirate satellite at Civic TV. Bianca reveals to Max that O'Blivion's been dead for 11 months not only that but he also help created the "Videodrome signal" as a way of the next phase in the evolution of man as a technological animal. Bianca gives Max a few tapes of O'Blivion explaining about Max's Videodrome problem, as he watches the tapes REALLY weird stuff occur once again as his stomach has a gaping vagina appears out of nowhere. Well that's what it looks like go see for it yourself. He then proceeds to put his own gun into the stomach vagina before it closes up....ugh....PHANTASMAGORIA A PUZZLE OF THE FLESH!!! Anyway he gets a phone call saying that a Barry Convex (played by Leslie Carlson) wants to talk to him about Videodrome. As he's taking a limo ride provided by Convex he watches a video introduction that Convex is the chief and special programs for a company called Spectacular Optical. Apparently they're the ones who created Videodrome alongside with O'Blivion. Upon arriving at Convex's place Max is giving a device that records his hallucinations and then analyzes them on why he's able to function so far while previous test subjects have not return to normality. Long story short Max goes through his hallucinations and somehow awakens at his apartment, back at Civic TV Max meets up with Harlan to see if he has been recording any Videodrome recently. But only to find out that Harlan has been working for Convex and not only that the signals he were intercepting weren't signals but pre-recorded tapes for Max to see. Say it with me now FOOL YOU! Convex takes a pulsing video tape and shoves it right into Max's stomach vagina, putting him under the influence to kill the station workers and give over Civic TV to Convex. Back at Civic TV Max enters a meeting room and shoots two of his co-workers dead before leaving the station. Still under the influence Max goes back to the mission to kill Bianca. He spots her and about to shoot her until Bianca shows him a video of Nicki being tortured and killed; this somehow snaps Max out of the Videodrome programing. Bianca then tells him that he's now a weapon against Videodrome and must destroy it. Outside of the Spectacular Optical store Max spots Harlan going into the store and follows on in. Harlan tries to program Max with another organic tape but Max resists and mutilated Harlan's arm with his stomach vagina and Harlan somehow explodes. Max heads to a trade show where Convex is displaying his new line of glasses; he spots Convex on a stage and proceeds shoot him dead with a now some type of organic gun and Convex dies VERY VERY VERY gruesomely. Max finds his way to an abandon harbor and sneaks into a ship. He then starts seeing Nicki in a TV helping him to "reach the next phase of the new flesh" by not being afraid for his body to die as he shoots himself in the head and the film ends.

My Final Verdict: This film is borderline gruesomely beautiful, the effects are amazing at the time, and the film just gets into your head with its plot-exposition. And may I dare say that James Woods is awesome...even in bed and naked EWWWW!!! Anyway this film is beautiful and it's worth watching.

OK we're at last leg of David Cronenberg Month one film left in this special and its gonna make your head explode...quite literally. Stay tuned next time as we look into Scanners.

TFV: David Cronenberg Month Review: The Fly (1986)

You may have heard this from many film reviewers that The Fly is one of the perfect examples of remakes DONE RIGHT. And this is not an exaggeration this film is one of the few RARE well-made remake films seriously. Filmmakers these days may actually LEARN something the next time they want to make a shitty remake.

We start off at a public gathering where we see Seth Brundle (played by Jeff Goldblum) being interview by Veronica Quaife (played by Geena Davis). He tries to convince Veronica that he's working on something that can change the world. Veronica is skeptical at first so Seth asked her to come by his lab and she agrees. At Seth's lab it's revealed that his work are two experimental "Telepods" which he demonstrates can teleport objects from one pod to the next. Veronica is deeply impressed by this and wants to write a story but Seth refuses to let her as she leaves his lab. The following morning Seth shows up at a editor's office where Veronica's editor and former lover Stathis Borans (played by John Getz) was not all convince with her story and leaves the two alone. We cut to a burger place where Seth still pleads Veronica not to write a story because of flaw in his telepods which is they can only teleport inanimate objects. While living organic objects...well....uh not very pleasant results as we're about to see. Back at Seth's lab he tests the pods on a baboon and....uh....how can I describe it without making you puking your spine out? Anyway the point is the test didn't work so Seth tries to figure out how to make the telepods safe for organic matter. Later after the two have sex...yep they actually have sex I got no way to segway to it so I just putting it out there to get to the point. Anyway after the sex Seth has an epiphany on what's causing the telepods to be ineffective to organic objects. Which is put simply the computer that runs the telepods can't seem to reproduce organic matter upon re-materializing. As she's leaving Seth's lab it turns out she has been followed by Stathis the whole time she's been with Seth...a creepo. The next day Seth test on another baboon only this time the baboon makes it through safely. As they celebrate this improvement, Veronica notices a package from Stathis and leaves confronting Stathis. Seth takes it the wrong way as he goes into bench drinking mode while talking to the baboon. Only Jeff Goldblum can make it so serious and funny at the same time it's flipping brilliant. Still angry and obviously drunk decides test the telepods on himself but not before he doesn't notice a fly going in the telepod with him. BUM BUM BAAAA! Seth appears from the second telepod completely intact...OR IS HE? Veronica returns to Seth's lab and after another one night stand Seth begins to notice some small changes to him. Such as apparently have the athletic skills of flipping Daredevil. Other noticeable changes Seth filling his coffee with hefty teaspoons of sugar and being rather hyper lately and apparently having a sex drive of a freight train. Because once that train starts going it's gonna be a LONG LONG time for it to come to a complete stop. Veronica notices some strange hairs on his back and tries to cut them off. Seth spontaneously goes hyper again persuading Veronica to go through the telepod so that she becomes "improved" but she refuses to. This gets Seth pissed off leaves and....ugh I'm sorry this is really distracting seeing Jeff Goldblum in his underwear it's just....ewwww.

We cut to Seth arriving at a bar and immediately flirts on a woman who's planning on sleeping with one of the two men in a arm wrestling match. Seth decides to join in and challenge one of the men determined to win the woman. Now in the scene that follows lets just say that if you ever in a arm wrestling match with Clark Kent or Peter Parker it's best to just kindly decline from this match. Because there might be a chance that you'll lose the upper hand; both figuratively and most likely literally. So anyway Seth brings the woman back to his place and shows her the telepods and OH MY GOD JEFF GOLDBLUM'S ASS! Anyway he tries to get the woman to go through the telepods but refuses again Seth get upset and forces her to. Luckily Veronica shows up and stops him; she then informs him that she had the hairs on his back analyzed concluding that they're non-human possibly insect-like. Seth nearly hulks out and sends out of his place. Later after one of many gross out scenes, Seth consults with his computer realizing that during his first trip through the pods there was a second element with him which was the fly. Resulting the fusion of Seth and the fly at a molecular-genetic level. Later in the span of four weeks in film time, Veronica gets a call from Seth asking to come over. She arrives at his place to see that...ugh well let’s just say I don't think plastic surgery is not going be much help. She goes to Stathis for help but he's too keen on helping Seth but he might if she shows him Seth. Veronica returns to Seth's place only to see him doing his best Spider-Man maneuver. No seriously we see him crawling all over the walls and ceiling like flipping Spider-Man. Completely off his rocker, Seth believes that this event has a purpose has a reason of what happened to him. He precedes film his gross out activities on camera as Veronica watches, this of course gives her the proof to show to Stathis. Later at Veronica's place after Stathis sees the video, she returns home informing him that she's pregnant with Seth's child....BUM BUM BAAAA! Soon after they're at a hospital to abort the possible mutant baby, during the procedure things go tits up and.... Well if want to know what happens watch the film.

Anyway it turns out the abortion scene was all a nightmare. Meanwhile, Seth or Brundlefly as he calls himself now consults his computer to find a solution of decreasing the fly's genetics from himself. What the computer has come is "The fusion by gene-splicing of Brundlefly with one or more pure human subjects". Veronica arrives at Brundlefly's place and tries to tell him that she's pregnant but couldn't and leaves but he finds out as he hears Veronica and Stathis outside his place. At a hospital they try to set up an abortion at late hours and were able to persuade a doctor to perform the procedure. But before they start the procedure Brundlefly breaks in and carries Veronica away. Back at Brundlefly's place Stathis sneaks in and waits for him to show up as he's armed with a shotgun. Unfortunately he gets jump from behind by Brundlefly and is immediately for Brundlefly to vomit digestive liquid on to Stathis's hand and foot. Here it's revealed that Brundlefly wants to use the telepods to genetically merge himself and Veronica into one being. And from here on out in this last scene we see Brundlefly transforming into a fly creature and trust me it's that amazingly gruesome. Brundlefly drags her into one pod and enters the second pod however, Stathis grabs the shotgun and manage to shoot one of the cables connected to Veronica's pod renders it unable to work. Brundlefly tries to get out of the pod before the fusion sequence starts it's too as he is teleported to a third telepod ended up being merge with some parts of the second pod that came along with him. With some of his humanity left, Brundlefly gives out a gesture to Veronica to shoot him in the head. Hesitate at first Veronica does so killing Brundlefly dead and the film ends.


My Final Verdict: This film is like a well-made stage play, it has more depth and meaning than the original Fly from 1958. Granted the original has it merits for a film from the late 50s but doesn't quite have the equal level of ones self-psychological obliteration as the remake has. Jeff Goldblum's performance just shines like a supernova and I don't think you'll see something like from Goldblum ever again. Well except for Jurassic Park he was really awesome in that film. The performance between Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis are just near perfect and the thing is this isn't the first time they share the same scenes together. The first time was back in 1985 with the film Transylvania 6-5000 and then the third time 1988 with Earth Girls are Easy. The Fly had a follow up sequel The Fly II in 1989 but unfortunately David Cronenberg was not involved in directing it.

We're about almost at the end and the very gruesome are yet to come. Stay tuned next time as we look into Videodrome.

TFV: David Cronenberg Month Review: The Brood

According to Wikipedia "the term body horror in films is principally derived from the graphic destruction or degeneration of the body. Such works may deal with disease, decay, parasitism, mutilation, or mutation. Other types of body horror include unnatural movements, or the anatomically incorrect placement of limbs to create 'monsters' out of human body parts." Now I can't say for certain if David Cronenberg invented the body horror sub-genre but I can tell you this. When Cronenberg makes body horror films he is the best at what he does and the next three films I'm reviewing in this special are no exceptions.

So on with The Brood; we start off with live therapy session performed by Dr. Hal Raglan (played by Oliver Reed) who specialized in a new technique called psychoplasmics. Which according to Wikipedia “encourages patients with mental disturbances to let go of their suppressed emotions through physiological changes to their bodies." Among the crowd of on lookers is Frank Carveth (played by Art Hindle) whose wife Nola Carveth (played by Samantha Eggar) is one of Raglan's patients. After the live session Frank picks up his five year old daughter Candice Carveth (played by Cindy Hinds) from Raglan's institute and headed home. Upon there while Frank give Candice a bath he notice a dozen scratches and bruises on her back suspecting that Nola may have abuse her when she visited her. Frank confronts Raglan at the institute demanding to see Nola but Raglan refuses. Not fully comfortable that Candice is in possible danger by her mother or any of Raglan's patients, Frank decides to seize any visitation rights until Raglan proves that Nola hasn't harmed her. A little bit later Frank drops off Candice at her grandmother (Nola's mother) Juliana (played by Nuala Fitzgerald). Back at the institute Raglan performs a session with Nola; here he learns how Nola was severely beating by her mother when she was a kid. Back at Juliana's place she hears loud noises coming from the kitchen and goes to check. Once in the kitchen she's immediately attacked by dwarf-like child who beats her to death with a meat tenderizer. Moments later Candice enters the kitchen and spots her grandmother dead on the floor. Later elsewhere, Frank gets a call from the police informing him that his mother-in-law is now dead and Candice maybe traumatized by the event. In other therapy session Nola reveals to Raglan how her father never protects her from her abusive mother. I know I want to feel sorry for this poor woman but no and you'll see why later. Frank tracks down one of Raglan's former patients named Jan Hartog (played by Robert A. Silverman) at a nursing home that apparently ends up with lymphoma cancer caused by the psychoplasmic therapy. This makes Frank completely convinced that Raglan's psychoplasmic treatment is invalidated. Later Raglan is confronted by Nola's father Barton (played by Harry Beckman) upset that Nola has not been told about her mother's death before he storms off. Later after picking up Candice from school Frank gets a call from his father-in-law apparently drunk and angry. So Frank heads off to talk him down while Ruth (played by Susan Hogan) who was accompanying Frank stands behind and watches over Candice. At Juliana's where Barton is he starts to have a breakdown until the dwarf-like child appears and bludgeons him to death. Frank arrives at the house only to his father-in-law dead and is immediately attacked by the dwarf-like child until it starts to die.

Back at Frank's house Ruth answers the phone only to be Nola who misinterprets that she and Frank are having an affair before raging out and hangs up the phone. At a hospital an autopsy reveals that this child has incredibly anatomical anomalies such as having no navel meaning it was never born the same as a normal child has. The next day after reading a newspaper about the murders of Nola's parents; Raglan decides to close down his facility and sends all of his patients’ home exception for Nola. Later Frank meets up with Jan along with one of the patients from the facility who tells him that Nola is still there as the "queen bee of the disturbed children". Now what could this mean? At the school as soon as Frank drops Candice off at the school; two dwarf-like children sneak into the classroom where Candice and Ruth are and proceed to beat Ruth to death and walk off with Candice in tow. Frank heads back to the facility to confront Raglan once again here he reveals to Frank that the dwarf-like children originated from Nola herself they are the result of her rage as the psychoplasmic therapy causes her to parthenogenetically give birth to these "Brood" children. Not only that but they seem to respond to her rage on whomever she thinks of and go kill that someone. Raglan tells Frank to go talk to Nola in order to distract her while he sneaks in a work shed to get Candice out. Frank approaches Nola pretending that he wants the two of them to be a family again to be what it was. It seems to work until she reveals to Frank her "psychoplasmic birthing" as a large womb-like boil forms from her belly. She then rips out a fetus and....proceeds....to....lick it clean. Nola notices the disgust on Frank's face and gets angry setting off the Brood to attack Raglan; he managed to shoot down a few of them before he dies. Heh might as well die like a bad ass. Still in rage Nola states that she'll kill Candice before she let anyone else take her. This sets off the Brood to attack Candice; with no choice Frank chokes Nola until she dies which kills off the Brood. The film ends with Frank and Candice driving away and we get a close up shot of Candice developing small boils on her arm. Oh....crap.

My Final Verdict: This film despite being very little on being suspenseful it still somehow grabs you in. The concept of one person can form a being from their own body out emotional willpower can be scary. And makes you feel paranoid of that person to form some being out of emotional thought and comes after you.

Next time David Cronenberg Month continues with the 1986 remake of The Fly stay tuned.

TFV: David Cronenberg Month Review: eXistenZ

Hey everyone and welcome to David Cronenberg Month my special for Halloween. Throughout the month of October I'll be reviewing five mind-tripping films of one of the most legendary filmmakers David Cronenberg, first off eXistenZ and yes that's how the title is spelled.

We start off at a Antenna Research focus group seminar testing out a new virtual reality game-pod called well eXistenZ along with the game's creator Allegra Geller (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh). As the testing begins one of the focus group members who got in the seminar at the last minute pulls out a rather odd gun and proceeds to assassinate Allegra. He even shoots the.....NINTH DOCTOR...OK OK Christopher Eccleston is not playing the Ninth Doctor here but you know what SCREW IT. The assassin is immediately taken out by armed security; one security guard who's actually a marketing trainee Ted Pikul (played by Jude Law) comes to her aide and gets her out of there. Later in the middle of nowhere Ted proceeds to take the bullet out of Allegra's shoulder only it turns out it's not a bullet it's a human tooth. Yup the gun itself is compose of flesh and bone instead of metal and fires human teeth instead of bullets. They check-in to a motel and Allegra tries to play eXistenZ but without more players she only a spectator; out of nowhere she checks Ted's back only to find out he doesn't have a "Bio-Port". (Basically as the film explains it's a hole put into your spine then shoot a port plug right into it. It's the only means for anyone to play these game-pods by plugging it into your bio-port via umbilical cords or UmbyCords.) Ted is not all that enthusiastic of having a bio-port put inside his spine until Allegra convinces him to do so. She explains to him that her game-pod may have took damage back at the seminar when one of the umbycords got ripped out while the game was still downloading. In order to find out the game itself isn't contaminated or crippled is to play eXistenZ with another player; Ted finally gives in and agrees. They stop by a gas station run by...ugh...Gas (played by Willem Dafoe) who apparently also a black market bio-port installer. And trust me when I say that the means of a bio-port being install into your spine will make you crap yourself for days. Here let me describe it like this basically having a bio-port installed is like taking a shotgun to the spine. So once again Ted is not all that enthusiastic until Allegra persuades him again; so takes the shotgun to the spine with the only side-effect of being paralyzed from the waist down. As soon as the two are plugged in, the game-pod violently shorts out. It turns out that Gas installed a faulty bio-port on purpose and attempts to kill Allegra. Apparently there's an reward to anyone who kills Allegra and destroys the game-pod. My god she must be a great game designer if there's a bounty on her imagine if game designers in real life go through this crap every day gees. Anyway before Gas can kill her Ted shoots him dead with the installer shotgun. They head to a former ski lodge where they meet up with Allegra's colleague Kiri Vinokur (played by Ian Holm), he and his assistant set out to repair the game-pod and replace Ted's faulty bio-port with a new one. Here we find out more this game-pod, basically it's composed of organic components from mutated animal parts. Practically an animal itself, the players themselves are the power source to the game-pod since it's hooked up to the player.

Afterwards Ted and Allegra are hooked in and began playing eXistenZ; inside the game it seems to look all the same. At least from our perspective it looks pretty much the same but from these two it's a completely new experience. We cut to Ted at a Trout Farm and meets with Yevgeny Nourish (played by Don McKellar) he suggested to Ted to go to a Chinese restaurant and order "The Special". He meets up with Allegra and the two head to the Chinese restaurant and orders for the special. And apparently it's a rather unappetizing special, I'm not going into full description of the special trust me. Ted proceeds to snack on the special only beginning to take the bones and construct a gun actually the same gun from earlier in the film. Going on the impulses of the game Ted straights up shoots and kills a Chinese waiter and the two leave. I'm going to summarize the plot of this game world they're in, a group called the Realists Underground fight against Cortical Systematics since they considered them as enemies of reality. Apparently Yevgeny is a double agent for Cortical Systematics and tricked Ted into killing the Chinese waiter who was a member of the Realists. Back at the Trout Farm they found a rather sickly looking game-pod and Allegra decides to port in. Something goes wrong and Ted cuts the umbycord and Allegra starts bleeding to death. Yevgeny walks in with a blow-torch and burns the diseased game-pod but upon burning it the game-pod releases disease spores all over the Trout Farm. Allegra picks up a knife stabs Yevgeny in the back and he dies. Back in the real world Allegra's game-pod now diseased and starts to die, Allegra notices Ted is scratching his back and sees that his bio-port is infective. Apparently Vinokur installed an infective bio-port in order to kill the pod and the game system. Now here's where the film just enjoys messing with your head, as the game-pod dies an explosion from outside goes off and armed commando appears and gets them out. Ted notices that he's from the game yet somehow he exist in the real world, concluding that they might be still in the game. All the explosions and gunfire is part of victory of realism, Ted and Allegra were part of the death of eXistenZ. As the commando is about to kill Allegra he is shot by Vinokur. It's revealed that he's a spy for Cortical Systematics after he defective from Antenna and also has made a copy of eXistenZ for Cortical Systematics. Allegra doesn't take that too well and guns him down, another twist is that Ted's part of Realist group and was assigned to kill Allegra. But Allegra already knows about that and immediately kills him with an explosive she implanted in his bio-port earlier. One last twist of the film is that the events up to this point is a game called transCendenZ. We cut to focus group seminar when Allegra wakes up from the game, we actually see that most of the characters from the game were actually focus group members and yes even Gas and the Ninth Doctor. Though Allegra was a game designer in transCendenZ the real game designer is actually Yevgeny. Is your mind been blown yet? Anyway Yevgeny tells the seminar leader how unease he was on how the game starts off with the assassination attempt on the game designer and the entirely of the game was in the theme of anti-game and that these thoughts may have come from one of the testers. Yevgeny and the seminar leader are approached by Allegra and Ted and they quote on Yevgeny on how he must be punish for deforming reality. Before Yevgeny can react they shot him dead and the films with one of the testers asking them "Are we still in the game"?


My Final Verdict: This film does get a little confusing with its plot-twist at the end but overall this film is impressive. The film does put you in the perspective of Ted Pikul are you back in the real world or still playing the game. The film brilliantly gives out clues that scenes before entering eXistenZ is not the real world but doesn't spoil or everything all together. Also this film has me thinking will video game systems evolve into organic gaming devices where you just hook it right into your spine? Be kinda interesting if it comes to that someday.

Stay tuned as David Cronenberg Month continues with The Brood.

The Cast House: Parasite Eve

Hey everyone and welcome back to The Cast House. Remember from my Parasite Eve review that there were once rumors of a film adaptation based off from the game but never came to be. Well imagine if there was a film from the game who would portray the characters lets see.

The Film Vindicator Review: The Speed of Thought

So Speed of Thought here we go, we start off in a bar where we're introduced to Joshua Lazarus (played by Nick Stahl) flirting on a woman until his approached by two men to come with them and he does. We cut to a hospital room where we meet Sandy (played by Wallace Shawn) attending to a patient, Sandy then ask Joshua to help the patient. It turns out Joshua has psychic powers as enters the patient's mind. We abruptly cut to one later in Punta Del Este Uruguay where we see Joshua playing poker with a man named Diaz but is apparently cheating by using his power to read the Diaz's mind and wins. Later he's approached by Sandy and it's here to revealed that there are people with telepathic abilities called "Scopers" and that upon reaching the age of 29 they suffer a disease call Widmann's. Basically Scopers slowly losing their sanity over time and die. But the NSA and Sandy developed pills to keep their sanity in check for as long as possible. Sandy tells Joshua that there's new Scoper on the loose that has the NSA nervous; so he asked Joshua to find this Scoper and accepts. Joshua meets up with Diaz at his place where he introduces his daughter Anna (played by Mía Maestro) and no more than two minutes it's revealed that Anna's the new Scoper and Joshua leaves. Well that didn't take so long did it? Joshua meets up with Anna the next day at a restaurant and they talk to each other and....WOW THIS FILM IS BORING! I’m having a tough time keep going just by reviewing this film. Anyway Joshua reports to Bridger (played by Blair Brown) and immediately denies that it's her. Back at his hotel room he meets with a Scoper friend Kira (played by Taryn Manning) and I'm just gonna skip a bit from here because I'm pretty we already know a few things without the boring exposition. The film pads out of Joshua meeting up with Anna at the restaurant talking through telepathy. These scenes would be important if they're weren't so boring; so blah blah blah Sandy helps out the Scopers so the government can use them blah blah blah. Then FINALLY a plot-point pops up; apparently Anna is 31 years old and doesn't have Widmann's Disease. That night Joshua gets a call from Anna that her father is dead; Joshua goes to the funereal the following day. Blah blah blah Joshua is sent back to New York blah blah blah Joshua and Anna want to be together blah blah BLAH! MY GOD DO SOMETHING DO ANYTHING EXCITING FILM!

Back in New York Joshua heads to the Home for Gifted Children.... Really film...really just practically ripped off the X-Men out of the blue. Yeah Speed of Thought you can go blow me. Anyway he meets with Sandy to learn that Kira suffered through Widmann's and died. Joshua meets up with Anna through telepathy...again and Joshua starts having an episode. Basically hearing too many voices and can't filter them out until Anna filters out. How don't know and it's too convoluted to even try to explain how so moving on. Later that night Joshua is awaken by a voice he tries to block it out but can't. The voice tells him to get away and fast because of something he's not supposed to know and to take Anna with him. Joshua goes to his father...I think and asked for help to leave the country and he does. One completely random scene later Joshua and Anna make their way to an airport and fly off in an airline disguised as flight attendance. They've arrived to.....somewhere and they're approached by two NSA agents but make a run for it. Here it's established that Joshua is developing a power suggestion it almost work on the two agents but they caught him as Anna escapes and he's taken back to New York. Well that whole leave the country plan rather falls short fast what a way to waste the film's runtime. Got anymore pointless scenes you want to abruptly cut short immediately? Seriously what was the point of having the two leave the country if they're just gonna get captured THE VERY NEXT SCENE? The NSA must have the work speed of the Flash. Anyway Joshua using his suggestion makes his escape and run into the not dead Kira; she tells him that there is no Widmann's Disease and that the pills keeps their powers from getting stronger. Kira then went into hiding when NSA knew what she knows. Joshua decides to infiltrate the Home which is now on lockout by the NSA to rescue Anna; he successful makes it in and meets up with Sandy and Bridger. Joshua tries to suggest Sandy but SURPRISE Sandy is a Scoper. So to summarize Sandy invented an imaginary disease to fool Scopers to take power suppressive pills to the point of insanity and have themselves die by chose. This is all just to make the "normals" feel less paranoid about the Scopers. Bridger offers Joshua to be in charge of the Home with Anna by his side; he would only agree if they stop forcing Scopers to take the pills but Sandy refuses but Bridger agrees. Disappointed Sandy tries to kill Joshua by controlling Bridger but with the combine power of Joshua and Anna they control Bridger to shoot Sandy dead. The film ends with Joshua and Anna in charge of the Home helping the Scoper children.

My Final Verdict: This film is BORING! The film cuts to scenes that feels like they abruptly just stop and before moving to the next scene. While other scenes have exposition that brings the film almost to a foot dragging crawl. Hell one scene is immediately contradicted by the following scene apparently making that one entirely pointless. How could a film which features psychic powers can be so boring? Speed of Thought my ass more like Speed of Dull. I just reviewed Dreamscape not that long ago and I enjoyed it, hell Scanners is more enjoyable than this film. Actually when you think about this film is more or less the polar opposite of Scanners. Imagine if David Cronenberg made Scanners this boring you'll fall into a coma 10 minutes in. And while I'm on the subject of David Cronenberg I'm taking a short recess to prepare for October for a month long celebration of Halloween with David Cronenberg Month. Stay tuned folks.

The Film Vindicator Review: Sands of Oblivion

So what's so important with this film you're asking? Well when I came this film on the Sci-Fi Channel two familiar names appeared that got me by surprise which compelled me to watch this film despite how average it is. And those two names are Morena Baccarin and Adam Baldwin; YEP two of the main casts from Firefly are in this film. Considered your mind blown folks.

The film starts off with two flashbacks but they're a bit lengthy so I'm gonna summarize them down. Back in ancient Egypt an evil demi-god Im-La-Ra terrorizes villages and towns. Egyptian mystics use a ritual to imprisoned Im-La-Ra in an Anubis statue and to be sure it remains imprison the amulet of Ra which was use in the ritual was to be bury from the light of day. Continuing the flashback, we cut to the Guadalupe Sand Dunes of central California in 1923 where the filming of The Ten Commandments is finished and Director Cecil B. de Mille orders for the set to be torn down and buried. Because apparently there's been unexplained accidents on the film set and that Mr. de Mille believes that one of the antiquities may have lay a curse and that burying the film set made keep the curse at bay. Everybody got that? While the set is being torn down a young boy John Tevis comes across the amulet of Ra and buries it along with some personal items in a "time capsule". Cut to present day we John Tevis (played by George Kennedy) now as an old man who is with his grandson Mark (played by Victor Webster) at the Guadalupe Sand Dunes searching for his time capsule. We cut to a motel room where Jayne...I MEAN...Jesse Carter (played by Adam Baldwin) gives a private "archaeological tutoring" with a female college student. Oh please, Jayne an archaeologist....well maybe in finding bullets in the people he shot. We cut to a dig site of the de Mille film set where we're introduced to Inara...I MEAN...Alice Carter (played by Morena Baccarin) who is the professor in charge of the dig site and soon to be ex-wife of Jayne...AH...Jesse DAMN IT. Mark and John arrived at the dig site persuades Alice to let them on the site to look for the time capsule. Since John is the last person alive who knows about the film site she agrees. A little bit later Mark and John found the time capsule and right after that the ground beneath John collapse and ends hanging upside down in a chamber. In the chamber we see the statue where Im-La-Ra is imprisoned comes to life and attacks John, his arm gets ripped off before getting pulled out of the hole. Losing too much blood, John slowly dies. After Mark and Alice grief for the loss of his grandfather, she explains that the tides will soon come flooding in washing away the film set in the process. So Alice is brought in to safely move the entire film set within two weeks. This coincidently is right up Marks alley because back when he was a solider in Iraq, he was in charge of moving people and equipment in a short time. This somehow impresses Inara...DAMN IT...Alice so much she hires him as a coordinator. Shortly thereafter....JESSE arrives to the site and he and Alice have what I can describe is a Mal Inara deja-vu scene. Soon after that the digging crew found the film set and I'm not kidding Alice makes a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference with "I was digging in the wrong place after all". As the crew try to dig up the set further the driver of a bulldozer starts seeing scorpions swarming all around him and unknowingly has the bulldozer moving towards the crew. Getting closer and closer, the bulldozer hits one of the crew-members chopping the poor guy's head off.

We cut to nighttime at the dig site where another one of Alice's crew is killed this time by Im-La-Ra. The following day Mark, and Alice, and Jesse go inside the film set to investigate until they're attacked by Im-La-Ra; it goes after Alice but she's protected by the amulet and Im-La-Ra runs off. Later in the film set the trio continues investigating and...hey guys remember that dog-head creature thing you just saw not that long ago. Not gonna question what it was or anything? Anyway they discovered a chamber where the creature was is not part of the film set but a prison to the creature. We cut to Jesse a team reconstruct the prison until he notices one of Alice's crew-member chanting in Egyptian and follows her. He spots her getting killed instantly by Im-La-Ra. Mark and Alice stop at a studio archive to learn more about the film set; they've learned that the film crew shipped some artifacts to the film set via smugglers and grave-robbers. Furthermore these artifacts were discovered at a pyramid which possess negative energy and that the chamber they've unearthed was commissioned by de Mille to contain the negative energy from the artifacts. Everybody got that? Back at the site Jesse spots another crew-member getting killed by Im-La-Ra; instead of going all Jayne and kick its ass he gets choked by it. At a motel Mark and Alice are looking through some old until Jesse now mentally gone bye bye arrives at the motel demanding for the amulet. Apparently Im-La-Ra send him to destroy the amulet and it'll let him live. Im-La-Ra arrives at the motel and three got out; Mark decides to stop by at a war buddy's place and gear up to kick ass. But of course Jesse follows them and takes Alice hostage; oh Jayne what would Mal think of this. Jesse makes his escape with Alice via dune buggy and Mark follows in pursuit. Mark catches up to Jesse and jumps on to the buggy; the two fight until Mark throws him off the buggy. Mark and Alice drive off as Im-La-Ra isn't far behind and kills Jesse; bye Jayne there'll be a service held in Jaynestown. Mark and Alice arrive at the reconstructed chamber but unfortunately Mark dropped the amulet and Im-La-Ra obtains it. They retreat to the chamber and apparently it keeps Im-La-Ra out for now. And here's where things take a turn for the silly; Im-La-Ra summons the wall paintings in the chamber to kill Mark and Alice. Let me repeat that Im-La-Ra summons the wall paintings in the chamber to kill Mark and Alice. So Mark fights the wall paintings as Alice gets the rocket launcher and some grenades from the buggy. The ends with Mark armed with the rocket launcher kills Im-La Ra and he and Alice get together in the end.

My Final Verdict: I'll be honest right now this film is silly, the exposition feels from loopy to meeting half way with the rest of the film. I've watched this film solely to see two familiar cast members from Firefly just playing off each other so well it's crazy. Adam Baldwin appears to be having fun in this film especially when he goes to his crazy Jayne mode in the end. The special effects here are for the most part sub-par that's saying for some films you've seen on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Next time we're looking into The Speed of Thought and trust me it's not as exciting as the title claims to be.

The Film Vindicator Review: Dreamscape

I came upon this film to use as background noise to work on my comic. But little did I know this film would catch my attention.

We start off with a rather trippy nightmare scene of a woman running away from a nuclear explosion...did I put in Wacthmen by mistake? Well no it's actually a nightmare from the President of the United States (played by Eddie Albert). And no he doesn't have a name for some reason it's just the President despite in the nightmare the woman calls him John. We cut to a horse race track where we're introduced to Alex Gardner (played by Dennis Quaid) using his psychic powers to predict which horse will the race and place his bet on that horse. As he collects his winnings and leaves, he's confronted by a gangster/extortionist named Snead (played by Redmond Gleeson). Alex managed to get away and escapes by taxi; later at his place he's approached by two men Finch (played by Peter Jason) and Babcock (played by Chris Mulkey) from Thornhill College. Giving no choice now that he spots Snead's thugs arriving at his place, he goes with them. At the college he's introduced to a Dr. Jane DeVries (played by Kate Capshaw yep the same Kate Capshaw from Temple of Doom; don't worry her annoyance level here is low). She explains about a project involving dream research; specifically what's happening to a person mentally and physically while sleeping. Jane is called away for a moment which gives Alex a chance to sneak into a dream-linking room where soon after he's reunited with his former mentor Dr. Paul Novotny (played by Max von Sydow). We cut to a bar where Novotny explains to Alex of the possibility of entering other peoples' dreams not just to experience them but to shape and manipulate their dreams. With a special machine that helps him to connect with other peoples' dream he can do so. Apparently there are two others like Alex at the college but they're not as advanced as Alex; therefore he’s more qualified to do this. Later back at the college Alex sneaks into the dream-linking room again to see a session in progress; one of the two psychics Edward Simms (uncredited) is linked to a young boy Buddy (played by Cory Yothers) who is having a severe nightmare. (So severe in fact Simms is now a veg later on.) Novotny and Jane stop the dream session before Buddy's and the psychic's vitals got worse. The following morning after refusing to help out, Alex is blackmailed by Novonty to participate it the project or Alex is in real trouble with the IRS. The next Alex is rudely introduced to Tommy Ray Glatman (played by David Patrick Kelly) before going off to a dream-linking session. With the dream-linking in progress Alex is now inside the dream of a construction worker. Inside the dream, Alex sees the worker being tripped by a steel beam and now is hanging on to the beam. Alex jumps on to the beam trying to save him but falls off before waking up fully amazed of what he just experience. A little bit later Alex is approached by Bob Blair (played by Christopher Plummer looking a hell of a bit like Michael Fassbender) who apparently runs the dream-linking project for the government. Blair asks for Alex to keep the dream-linking project a secret from the outside world; Alex agrees. Outside the campus Alex meets up with Jane and Buddy; Alex talks to Buddy about his nightmares. Buddy mostly describes his nightmares about some huge monster that keeps tormenting him. We cut to another nightmare scene from the President of buildings being blown up by nuclear bombs and a post-nuclear apocalypse before waking up. These recurring post-nuclear apocalypse nightmares are eventually affecting his job as president. The following day Blair pays a visit to the President and propose that the President should partake in the dream-linking project to help clear his mind; the President agrees.

The next scene feels a bit of a padding scene so honestly I'm gonna skip it. Alex volunteers to dream-link with Buddy to help him; Novotny protest but eventually allows him to. Alex enters Buddy's dream to what it looks like something straight out of Beeltejuice's wet nightmares. Alex and Buddy are confronted by the Snakeman (Buddy's bogeyman) and immediately run away. Now cornered, Alex struggles to fight the Snakeman until Buddy summons the courage to confront and kill the Snakeman with an axe. Both awaken from the dream-link Buddy is finally cured from his nightmares while Alex is a little shaken by the Snakeman. We cut to Alex at a pub when his approached by a novelist Charlie Prince (played by George Wendt). He informs Alex that he knows about the dream-link project and that Blair is in charge of a covert intelligence bureau bent on using the project for something sinister. But before Charlie could tell him more he spots one of Blair's men and leaves. Back at the college Alex finds Jane asleep and proceeds to dream-link with her without the dream-link machine. In her dream she's on a train and is approached by Alex and the two make love...or dream love...hot...appealing...passionate dream lovvvv ANYWAY! Jane wakes very upset of what Alex did but quickly becomes impressed because Alex tells her he did it without the machine. Later another dream-link is taking place this time it's Tommy dream-linked to an elderly woman. However, the elderly woman's vitals began to spike and starts to die. Oh I'm sure it was just an accident, I mean it's not like Tommy intentionally killed that poor woman right....<_<....>_>....o_o We cut to Alex breaking into Novonty's office and searches for a file on Tommy, there he learns that Tommy murdered his own father. Later Alex meets up with Charlie outside the campus; Charlie implies that the accident with the elderly woman wasn't an accident and that Blair is using the dream-link project as a means of covert assassinations. They're immediately interrupted when Alex sees four of Blair's men; make a run to a pep rally leaving the campus but got separated. Alex is caught while Charlie is shot and killed on the spot. Before long Alex escapes from Blair's men and warns Jane about Blair. Alex returns to the college as Jane helps him sneaks in; they found of Blair's men and a now dead Novonty. Apparently Novonty tries to stop Blair's suspicious activities but to no prevail. Alex learns that Blair is gonna kill the President with Tommy as his psychic assassin. So it's revealed that Blair means to assassinate the President in the hope to prevent nuclear disarmament hence the President's post-nuclear apocalypse nightmares. Believing that these nightmares will become true hence the President decides to call for a nuclear disarmament. But this is unacceptable to Blair so yeah kill the president, nuke the world. Alex soon enters the President's dream bent on protecting him from Tommy...alright aright it's pretty clear that Tommy is the bad guy. Hell it should be SO FLIPPING OBVIOUS from the start that Tommy's the bad guy especially when Tommy is played by DAVID PATRICK KELLY who is well known of playing asshole bad guys from films such as Commando and The Warriors. Alex and the President try to get away but since it's a dream and can do whatever you want Tommy has the advantage. We cut to a subway and brace yourselves folks where we see Tommy in ninja pajamas welding a nunchaku. Wow...this would make the Cinema Snob cry out of joy. Alex tries to fight him but Tommy (in an impressive use of the film's practical effects) morphs himself into a snakeman. Alex and the President run out of the train making their way through the desolate dream wasteland until they're cornered by Tommy/Snakeman. Alex gets wounded but quickly heals himself while Tommy/Snakeman goes after the President; Alex morphs into Tommy's murdered father which distracts Tommy/Snakeman long enough for the President to stab him with a pipe. Being killed in the dream also means at the same being killed in your sleep. Alex and the President are awake and safe while Blair gets away scott free...or does he? We cut to Blair approached by Alex (yet another impressive use of the film's practical effects) morphs into a snakeman. Obviously it's a nightmare but this is a nightmare that Blair won't be waking up from...ever. The film ends with Alex and Jane happily together on a train heading to Louisville.

My Final Verdict: Something about this film deeply impress me mainly the effects in the dream sequences. Honestly best usage of visually and practical effects I've ever seen. Obviously miniatures were use in the post-nuclear apocalypse nightmare scenes were use so well in my opinion especially with the locations used in these scene were well fitted.The music here is interesting almost reminds of the music themes from Tron. The film's choice of casting is very impressive; Kate Capshaw's acting range here is far better than in Temple of Doom and that's saying a lot. And of course David Patrick Kelly is flipping phenomenal.

Next time this is going out to a certain group of fans to geek cult classic that was abruptly taken off from TV years ago. Stay tuned as we look into Sands of Oblivion.

The Film Vindicator Review: Deep Rising

Hey everyone sorry for the brief of absence been very busy Gen Con-wise so on with the show.

We start off with a boat ride in the middle of the ocean during a storm; here we're introduced to the boat's pilot Finnegan (played by Treat Williams). And his crewmen Pantucci (played by Kevin J. O'Connor) and Leila (played by Una Damon). Finnegan and crew were hired by Hanover (played by...that guy who played as Sagat from the Street Fighter film Wes Studi) to transport him and his Big Ass Motherfuckers to an undisclosed location. Oh gee that doesn't sound suspicious at all; anyway we cut to big luxurious cruise ship the Argonautica on its first maiden voyage. There we're introduced to the ship's creator Simon Canton (played by Anthony Heald) and Trillian (played by Famke Janssen) who is revealed to be thief. Back on Finnegan's boat we're introduced to the rest of the Big Ass Motherfuckers Vivo (played by Djimon Hounsou), Mason (played by Clifton Powell), Mulligan (played by Jason Flemyng), Billy (played by Clint Curtis), T-Ray (played by Kano himself Trevor Goddard), and Mamooli (played by Cliff Curtis). Apparently this scene is trying top off the helicopter scene from Predator with its high macho humor...keep trying film but get an A for effort though. Pantucci sneaks pass the BAMs and enter the cargo bay where to a surprising discovery that their cargo is dozens of torpedoes. Pantucci gets caught by Vivo and is immediately receiving the ass kicking of his life by the BAMs. Finnegan intervenes with a spear gun and persuades Hanover to let Pantucci go. Meanwhile back on Argonautica, Trillian with a stolen keycard from Captain Atherton (played by Derrick O'Connor) sneaks in to a security room where the ship's vault is located. However, she immediately caught by Atherton and Canton and is put into a...storeroom since the brig is unfinished. Later on Argonautica an unknown figure enters the systems operations room and proceeds to disable the ship's on-broad systems. On the bridge with all of the systems malfunctioning, one crew member sees something really big on radar closing fast on the ship. The big object collides with the ship causing it to rumble quite violently. About 20 minutes away from their unknown destination Finnegan's hits a speed boat which cause severe damage to the boat but luckily they spot the Argonautica from a far. And with that Hanover and the rest of the BAMs gear up with these bad ass assault rifles and decided to take over from this point on. They arrived at the ship only to realized that it's completely deserted; not a single soul to be found. T-Ray and Mamooli accompanies Finnegan and Pantucci to the ships machine shop to repair the damaged boat parts while the rest search for anyone on broad. Back on Finnegan's boat Leila is repairing the hull until she's spooked by a dead body from the Argonautica before she's killed off by something unknown. Oh and Billy dies too later on; the film doesn't show it but trust me he dies. Meanwhile at the machine shop T-Ray goes investigate some odd noises but ends getting killed off...FATALITY! Later Trillian attempts to enter the vault yet again and is immediately caught by the BAMs; one guy Vivo opens the vault and immediately gets an ax to the face by Canton. Say it with me now...REDSHIRT!

Back at the machine shop Mamooli is killed off while Finnegan and Pantucci make a run for it; they run into Trillian at an elevator as the three of them run into the BAMs. Things get really bumpy as the elevator starts to drop straight down fast to sub-level 3. There they see what appears to be some of the skeletal remains of the passengers. They made it to maintenance room and it's revealed that Canton was the one who cause the ships' malfunction; the reason being was to loot the ship then sink it with torpedoes to collect the insurance money. Because apparently keeping a ship like the Argonautica operational is very expensive. And immediately out comes what appears to be a spiked tentacle...hey don't look at me I just describe how I see them. Then the spiked tentacle happened to puke out a half digested Billy; OK I guess the film did show him die then. More spiked tentacles appear as Finnegan and the others open fire and split up; Finnegan is confronted with one of them that apparently has a mouth at the tip of the tentacle. Again I just describe how I see them. The "mouthed" tentacle closes in on Finnegan but is fended off by Trillian with a handgun. Captain Atherton is eaten as Finnegan and the others regroup; they make it to a flooded passageway with Finnegan, Hanover, and Mulligan proceeding to swim first. As they reached the other side Pantucci, Trillian, Canton, and Mason soon follow as the tentacles are hot on their tail. Pantucci, Trillian, and Canton made it across but Mason gets snatch by the tentacles as he proceeds to set off a very advanced grenade and blow himself up. Mulligan wants to hold up in where they are now but that plan goes tits up when a tentacle enters the kitchen; Mulligan fends it off the others make a run for it. Immediately after that Mulligan is killed off from behind. As they try to head to the boat, they're split off as the tentacles cause a flood. Finnegan and Trillian are almost to the boat until Finnegan realizes that he drop the backpack with the boat parts inside and without those parts the boat can't get anywhere far. Hanover and Pantucci are being chase by the tentacles so Hanover decides to shoot Pantucci in the leg in order to slow down the tentacles by go after Pantucci. Luckily Pantucci managed to get away and makes it to a casino where he conveniently meets up with Hanover who is now being slowly swallowed by a tentacle. Pantucci decides to give him a gun but Hanover shoots and misses Pantucci than turning the gun to himself. Unfortunately that was the last bullet he wasted on unable to shoot himself and dies horribly. At the boat, Finnegan meets up with Pantucci to rigged the boat to crash into the Argonautica with one of the torpedoes wedged to boat's damaged hull. Meanwhile Trillian looks keys to the jet skis for the three to escape; she's then confronted by Canton armed with a...double barrel flare gun...ugh OK. Anyway Trillian runs away with a key to a jet ski and Canton goes after her. She's soon cornered by Canton but is rescued by Finnegan and Canton runs away. Soon after we get to see where all of the tentacles coming from so what appears to me is some huge octopus-like creature with teeth and goofy a face and eyes. Not sure what they were going with this creature I mean the tentacles are actually scary but to reveal this thing it almost ruins it. One of the tentacles grabs Finnegan but gets free after shooting it in the eye and he and Trillian get away. Back at the boat what it looks like from Finnegan's perspective that one of the tentacles got in and got Pantucci; SPOILERS Pantucci's still alive. While Finnegan and Trillian attempt to escape the ship and avoiding the tentacles at the same time, Canton makes it to the boat and tries to escape. However, he's unaware that the boat is locked in auto-pilot and is heading to crash into the ship. Canton dies as the boat crashes and explodes on impact. Finnegan and Trillian quickly escapes before the explosion killing the creature in the process. The film ends with Finnegan and Trillian made it to a small, they're reunited with Pantucci who makes it on a surf broad...somehow, and the big sequel-bait middle finger they hear a loud roar coming from the jungle forest. And does this film get a sequel? Nope...or at least there were plans for a sequel but never happens as far as I know.

My Final Verdict: This film was directed by Stephen Sommers the same Stephen Sommers that brought us two of The Mummy films, Van Helsing, and G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. It's really hard to tell what he was going with this film. It's like he spliced in two separate genres and ended up what it almost feels like you watching two separate films. The characters seem to be the one saving grace for this film because of their attitude, their chemistry, and their personality. The creature would've been better off as these tentacles instead of a one huge goofy looking octopus-thingy. I kinda like this film in some parts but it could have been a little better.

Next time's gonna be a real "sleeper" as I review Dreamscape.