Hits & Misses: House of the Dead 2

Real Talk: Despite Uwe Boll having no involvement with this sequel, it still turns out to be shit.

Miss: *Some rando frat boys raided some rando sorority house with super soakers.* Because that what was missing from the House of the Dead games, apparently.

Miss: They dragged Sid Haig into this piece of shit.

Hit: Also, Ladies and Gentlemen Mr. Sid Haig, god rest his soul.

Miss: Was there a reason why Professor Curien had to stripe this one dead college girl naked? All he did afterwards was injecting her in the arm with a special serum. It just feels deeply unnecessary and exploitive. Now I'm all for nudity as much as the next person but there needs to a reason/point for it.

Miss: Naked Zombie College Girl pulls a Batman without being Batman.

Miss: After the start of a zombie outbreak via opening credits, movie cuts to 29 days later with main character Alex on a dinner date. Consistent tone, how do?

Miss: Also there's no way this outbreak is contain in this one college campus during and/or after those 29 days. Were the zombies too lazy to stroll into town or something?

Miss: Stereotypical French chefs are stereotypical.

Hit: Oh hey it's Nathan Stark from Eureka.

Miss: So there's been reports of outbreaks and the whole of city hasn't gone to shit how?

Miss: Alex doesn't move the waiter away from infected French chef before turning into a zombie and bites the waiter. For someone who kills zombies as job you would think she do better than warning people to get away from an infected person.

Miss: So the colonel in charge of AMS is played by the same actress (Ellie Cornell) from the first movie. Even has the same last name Casper and is an amputee. So am I suppose to believe that the Casper from the first HOTD movie went from harbor patrol to a colonel in the two years between movies? Either way movie did a piss poor job to established that.

Miss: Movie's trying too hard to be like Starship Troopers with the co-ed shower/looker room.

Hit: Alex side boob

Miss: Oh god they dragged Dan Southworth into this garbage.

Hit: Also, Ladies and Gentlemen Mr. Dan "Vergil" Southworth.

Miss: *Nakagawa (Southworth's character) does a stupid by fighting a zombie hand to hand. Only to end up bitten on the hand doing a grapple move.* Well that was a waste of Southworth's time.

Miss: *Griffin spots a "survivor" and just assumes it's not a zombie because "they don't read".* Oh yes, this one college kid calmly sitting in a dark library in the middle of an outbreak raising no suspicions at all. These special forces guys sure are the best. 

Hit: Half Naked Zombie Chick

Miss: *Bart tries to get Henson to take a picture of himself with the dead half naked zombie woman. Then contemplates on whether or not to "stick his dick in her".* The special forces requirements/processing are either lacking in professional etiquette or just run by fucked up creepos. 

Miss: *Instead of keep moving with the rest of the group, Griffin decides to split off to investigate a noise elsewhere. Only to eventually get killed by zombies.* Nice going jackass...

Miss: *Movie reveals that before Rudy and Alicia (from the first movie) returned to the mainland, Rudy injects Alicia with Castillo's serum to revived her. But eventually she turns and kills Rudy while his father Roy Curien kept her captive for his experiments.* OK one problem, Alicia was just find at the end of the first movie; despite the fact she was stabbed in the chest. Also when did Rudy got a hold of Castillo's serum? His lab got blown up after Rudy and Alicia escape. And what made Rudy think the serum would heal Alicia and not turn her into a monster in the process?

Real Talk: With Alex and Ellis obtaining a blood sample from zombie Alicia the movie will go out of its way to have dumb situations happen.

Real Talk: After all the trouble of getting the right blood sample for a cure, Ellis loses the sample after a zombie grabs his back pouch doing the escape.

Real Talk/Sarcasm: After what happened last time you'd think they get multiple blood samples just in case? But I'm sure Alex and Ellis will escape with the ONE blood sample this time. 

Miss/Sarcasm: *After Ellis hands over the blood sample to Bart, Alex shoots him behind. But Bart set off a grenade, killing himself and destroying the blood sample.* Oh no, that ONE blood sample got destroyed and the building where zombie Alicia was kept got bombed so they can't go back again. So now humanity is screwed thanks to Alex and Ellis being too stupid to obtain more than one blood sample. Good work guys... 

Hits & Misses: Annihilation

Miss: When a movie starts with the one surviving character then having to recap on what become of the other characters in flashbacks. It makes it difficult to connect with the other characters now knowing they won't make it to the end. 

Real Talk: The movie shows flashbacks of Lena before and after her husband goes into the Shimmer. They really don't amount to anything with the main plot in my opinion so I won't be mentioning them.

Miss: The previous teams sent into the Shimmer were mostly military and (besides Kane) never came back out. How's a team of five scientists gonna fair any better? It be one thing the movie establishes that there's something unique/special about this team in particular. But it doesn't seem to play out that way, especially when it's already spoiled that (except for Lena) the team doesn't make it.

Miss: Also since they have lack of hard data on what goes on in the Shimmer. They might as well be carrying a neon sign reading "OH YEAH, WE DONE SCREWED OURSELVES".

Real Talk: Lena talking to Ventress: "Why are you going into the Shimmer?" Ventress: "The mission statement is to reach the supposed source of the Shimmer, the lighthouse. Enter and acquire data and return." Given how no team has ever returned with any acquired data I considered that mission statement a bust.

Miss: No offense to Jennifer Jason Leigh's acting but she sounds really bored in this movie.

Miss: *Lena and the team enters the Shimmer with no type of hazmat protection.* What is it with certain sci-if horror films having a group of characters exploring an alien environment with next to no protective suits? It didn't worked so well with the characters of Alien Covenant. 

Hit: *Lena takes down a mutating alligator with an M-16.* The way how Natalie Portman held the gun clearly shows she's been training for this scene. Unlike some other movie where she didn't train for a certain character and the studio just gave her CGI muscles.

Hit: *Lena looks over the dead alligator.* Credit for the prosthetic work on the alligator.

Real Talk: Cass explains to Lena that they're all "damaged goods". Anya is a former addict, Josie hides her self-harm scares on her forearms and Cass lost her daughter from Leukemia. As much as this is really heartbreaking, I'm reminded that these characters won't survive to the end. And it's not like their personal demons will come into affect within the Shimmer.

Hit: *The group watches a video recording of Kane cutting open a soldier to find his insides moving like eels.* OK...that was a really gruesome effect.

Miss: *Anya denies what happened in the video and claims the soldiers went crazy and killed themselves.* I hate that one character in most movies/shows who's the skeptic of the bunch despite the weird things that've been happening so far. We the audience know what just happened and the movie doesn't attempt to makes us see/think otherwise. So it just comes off one sided therefore not fully agreeing with Anya. Oculus done something similar but did it right; the two characters arguing of remembering things wrong/differently. And the movie shows this from the two characters perspective rather then being one sided.

Hit: *Ventress and the others find the remains of the soldier now all molded/reshaped to the wall of an empty pool.* This is like a wet dream of H.P. Lovecraft and H.R. Geiger.

Miss: Now how did this big ass bear managed stealthy napped Cass just like that? 

Real Talk: There's really nothing stopping/preventing the group from leaving from the Shimmer. (Except for Ventress who has cancer so she really doesn't care by this point. And Lena lied to Anya and Josie into continuing deeper in the Shimmer.) It's not like they're being threaten or blackmailed or some eldritch entity is keeping them from leaving. I mean yeah Lena wants to know what happened to Kane but is it worth having your DNA in constant mutation by the Shimmer? I'm just failing to see any motivations to keep moving forward with zero chance of survival. So many teams went into the Shimmer and never seen again, by that point it's a lost cause. Utterly no further reason to investigate the Shimmer.

Hit: *As Lena, Ventress and Josie are tied up by Anya. The mutated bear that killed Cass enters the house and roars with Cass's voice repeating "help me".* If that's not the perfect nightmare fuel I don't know what is.

Miss: *This one bear maws Anya to death within seconds but merely baby taps Lena until Josie kills it.* Well that's definitely plot armor....

Miss: Lena talking to Ventress: "What are you doing?" Ventress: "I'm leaving..." Lena: "Now? It's not even light yet." Ventress: "I don't have time to wait. We are disintegrating. Our bodies as fast as our minds. Can't you feel it? It's like an onset of dementia. If I don't reach the lighthouse soon... The person that started this journey won't be the person that ends it. I won't be the one that ends it." Again nothing's stopping you from leaving the Shimmer knowing damn well what's happening to your body. An alien phenomenon that continuously mutates all DNA should be enough acquired data to go by. But OK just keep going because reasons. I'm sure the novel has some explanations that are missing from this movie.

Hit: Josie having roots growing from her self-harm scars is quite unsettling.

Miss: When Lena finally arrives at the lighthouse, one question crossed my mind. If getting to the lighthouse was the objective than why not just airdrop close to it? Kinda a waste of time taking the long way getting to the source of the phenomenon.

Hit: Oscar Isaac's performance when Lena finds a video of Kane talking to his doppelganger before killing himself.

Hit: *When Lena finds Ventress at the source, her face is of dark greyish and eyeless. But goes back to normal when Lena calls her name.*

Miss: *Earlier Kane's doppelganger was slowly dying but when the Shimmer got destroyed he's fully stablized.* Well that's convenient. 

Hits & Misses Halloween: Nekrotronic

Hit: What the Doom movies should've been vs what we ended up with.

Hit: This film's bad ass intro.

Hit: This film's hilarious narration by David Wenham.

Miss: Now I hate to be that guy but necromancers are (undead) mages who commands anything that's dead and/or reanimated. And yet we don't see none of that in this movie. So why exactly are these demon hunters called necromancers?

Hit: Howard and Rangi reminds me of Earl and Val from Tremors.

Hit: Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Monica Bellucci!

LOL: Rangi is basically playing Discount Pokemon Go.

Real Talk: *Finnegan sucks the soul out of a man.* Suddenly I'm getting Lifeforce flashbacks.

Hit: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. David Wenham!

Hit: Finnegan before sending a demon after Howard: "Rip, tear, kill, eat..." Someone on the writing team is clearly a fan of Doom.

Hit: I love the concept of transferring demons into other people via internet. Kinda like what some Twitter users wish they can do whenever they wanna cancel someone for wrong think.

Miss: Basically these "necromancers" have force powers, so Discount Jedi.

Miss: Rangi gets shot in the head by possessed human.

Real Talk: *Howard tries to run away from Molly until he's hit by a car.* Been there before...

Hit: And now we have ghost Rangi, nice.

Hit: Finnegan in a demonic voice after Howard hesitates to do what she says: "Don't be a pussy, Howard! Just plug in the fucking cable!" I just love Monica's acting in this movie.

Hit: Howard: "My mother try to force feed me a soul through a hole in the back of my head." Molly: Really? Well I'm glad she didn't." Torquel: "If she did we have to force feed you with a bullet through a hole in front of your head." 

Hit: Bad ass anti-possession suits.

Hit: *Torquel revealing BETSI* Now that's a big fucking gun.

Real Talk: Despite how fool proof Molly's plan to steal a Necropod. I had a sneaky feeling it'll go to shit somehow.

Miss: *Rangi makes a loud thud that spooks Howard into activating an EMP device too soon.* And would you look at that, Molly's plan went to shit. 

Hit: Molly and Torquel opens the Necropod to find severed head. And suddenly I'm getting Alien flashbacks when Molly talks to the head.

Miss/Hit: Howard tries to get Torquel's soul out of Finnegan's network only to make her head explode. But despite how mess up it was that was awesome.

Real Talk: When I watched this film with my friends, one of them points out that Howard looks like Discount Tony Stark. And I kinda agree.

Hit: Torquel's new look after being revived from the necro-pool is very beautiful. 

Miss: The populace nearly had their souls sucked out by Finnegan. But after Torquel stops her, they just went on about their business as if nothing happened. Not even questioning why they were staring up in the air with blue light shooting from their mouths for some reason.

Hit: Finnegan's demonic form after the necro-pool is freaking impressive. Credit to the make-up and costume department for such an amazing effort put into it. 

 

 

These particular IPs are excellent examples where identity changes can work with the story, not against it. Regardless of the setting, there’s an established plot-line/lore on the hows and whys of a character’s identity is altered in one form or another. Not some moot studio decision being thrown in as a crutch for said studio to change characters’ identities out of nowhere. But actual narrative driven subplots that effects the story and characters. Not to mention they’re part of the setting(s). Characters going through these changes actually effects them physically, emotionally and psychologically. And you can see/feel it weighing a toll on them. Changes to these character that have a lasting effect throughout the stories.

Hits & Misses: Independents' Day

Real Talk: Well it's 4th of July might as well review a mockbuster version of the 1996 movie.

Real Talk: The Asylum, my ancient enemy....

Miss: Either these two military guys are on leave or there wasn't enough budget to have them be driving a military vehicle. 

Miss: The effects of the alien ships just gives off cheap sci-fi tv show vibes.

Miss: Obvious CGI alien ships blended in the background of obvious stock image cities are obvious.

Miss: The President: "Is the Vice-President at the [AWKWARD SHORT PAUSE]  Virginia bunker?" I'm positive the weird pause in that line was not intentional and couldn't be bothered for retake.

Real Talk: *Fighter jets in combat against the alien fighter crafts.* Why does this scene feel so familiar?

Miss: *The alien mother ship hovers above the White House and fires a particle beam weapon in the same manner from the movie Independence Day.* I know The Asylum is known for copying better movies but they could at least try to make it less obvious.

Hit: For some reason I think Vice-President Raney's kinda hot.

Real Talk: *Raney is sworn in as the new President after the current one died.* Independence Day Resurgence has a similar scene, now it's a matter which copied whom. 

Miss: Orion Alien Voice: "It is not our intent to destroy you. Our mission is one of peace." Says this after shooting down two fighter jets that were only on recon. And after taking out a fleet of fighter jets you vaporized the White House. Forgive me that I just don't believe your bullshit, especially when your true intent is revealed later.

Miss: The Orions can only evacuate 7 million people from Earth while the remaining humans are left to die. Well that's not sketchy at all. And why 7 million instead the whole population, are they short-staffed or something?  

Miss: You know it really doesn't help using stock footage of different cities. Especially when there's people just walking along, paying no attention to the alien ships occupying the skies.

Miss: The Orion alien after Raney opens a dialogue: "You attacked us..." No they didn't, you attacked first. Either these aliens have a really bad memory or this movie's writer does?

Real Talk: You've seen this in many low budget sci-fi, alien/futuristic interiors made from plastic crates and pallets.

Miss: What impressive medical technology the Orions have, Raney's son gets heal from an illness while screaming in pain. 

Real Talk: There's these militia group fighting against the aliens and that's all I can tell you.

Miss: This one cop lets a small group of armed militia pass the blockade to the Orion transport ship. What could possibly go wrong.

Miss: Raney's husband is working with the First Earth militia, what could possibly go wrong?

Miss: The same small group of First Earth militia from the first transport ship enters a different transport ship yet the Orion scanners don't seem to recognize them. Such an advanced race these Orions are.

Miss: The transport ship can scan for weapons but not any type of explosives. This isn't obviously convenient at all.

Miss: And apparently these Orion scanners can't hear the militia group talking loud and clear about their plans.

Miss: *A Dr. Goddard performs an autopsy on a dead Orion recovered by the First Earth group.* They have decent prosthetic effects for close ups of the alien but uses an obvious GCI of the alien for pan outs.

Miss: Also this guy didn't seem to be perform any autopsy considering there's no surgical procedures or anything. The guy's just sitting down listing things. And I'm pretty sure most cadavers are facing up in autopsies.

Miss: There's a military major trying  to access a computer system on the transport ship and no security system isn't attempting to stop him. And this was after the alien computer fires a laser beam at a red shirt lieutenant. 

Miss: And what a convenience for the alien computer to understand human language for some reason.

Miss: *Goddard creates a pathogen that'll kill the Orions.* Suddenly I'm getting V/War of the Worlds flashbacks.

Hit/LOL: This line from Kelly Reed: "It's time to blow up some more alien shit."  

Miss: This line from President Raney apologizing to Major Fry: "I'm sorry for the loss of your men." Man, he had only one man with him! The fuck are you talking about?!

Miss: *Raney discuss matters with the Orion Queen.* The GCI of the queen and the background makes me feel like I'm playing an FMV game.

Miss: Oh no! The aliens had a hidden agenda this whole time! Just look how shocked I am.  -_-

Miss: So the Orions need human blood to power their energy source. As impressive the concept is there's a lot holes in the execution. First they drain the blood from humans which kills them; they don't even preserved the bodies or anything. Bit of a waste of limited resources when there's no options to maintain it like cloning or human livestock.  

Miss: The skies raining fire and debris yet everything looks normal on the ground. 

Hits & Misses: Warlock: The Armageddon

Real Talk: You're wondering why I'm reviewing the sequel instead of the first movie? Well I never watch much of the first one but the Warlock II was shown more frequently on TV. Also I kinda like the sequel a little more.

Real Talk: *The moon falls into a lunar eclipse.* Suddenly I'm getting Elvira Mistress of the Dark flashbacks. 

Real Talk: *Cut to a woman with whiteout eyes and demonic screams.* Now I'm getting Evil Dead flashbacks.

Miss: Get use to the early 90s GCI/visual effects being really meh.

Hit: But the practical effects are surprisingly top notch for a 1993 film.

Real Talk: *Men on horseback starts killing the druids after they perform a magical abortion.*  Man them pro-lifers don't mess around.

Miss: Movie introduces Kenny Travis who's basically the lame version of Peter Parker.

Hit: Oh hey, it's Mr. Wint from Diamonds Are Forever.

Hit: Oh hey, it's the police captain from the Lethal Weapon movies.

Real Talk: The Twin Towers in pre-9/11, just felt like pointing it out.

Hit: *Woman starts taking her robe off before entering her bedroom.* Quick side boob!

Hit: *Woman quickly puts on her dress.* Another side boob with a bonus ass shot!

Real Talk: I know this demonic pregnancy scene is suppose to be scary. But the way how it's done with the woman in a sexy dress, her legs spread open and does those short breaths it just comes off as kinky than scary.

Real Talk: Congratulation, ma'am it's an eldritch horror abomination. 

Miss: The Warlock's a dick to dogs.

Hit: The now dead woman forms a skin map from her belly.

Miss: Now why's the Warlock given only six days to gather the runestones? He can't seem to teleport and he only flies whenever the script says so. It's kinda tricky going cross-country with just six days.

Real Talk: An evil being is gathering six powerful stones to bring forth Armageddon. Why does that sound familiar?

Hit: Oh hey, it's Zach Galligan from Gremlins!

Real Talk: If this movie was made in post-Covid, the Warlock would get shot for being uncomfortably too close to people. Sure that wouldn't do anything to the Warlock but still.

Miss: I know Kenny and Samantha have a thing but their chemistry is underwhelming at best. 

Real Talk: *Kenny's dad, Will shows up with double barrel shotgun and shoots him dead.* OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!

Real Talk: *After being revived from the dead, Kenny freaks out and pissed at the fact.* To be fair he has every right to be freaking out and really mad about it. His dad could've prepared him or give him a warning before shooting.

Hit: *The Warlock enters the dressing area of a fashion show.* Tits and ass everywhere!

Hit: Say what you want about the Warlock but at least he has a strict rule of having the person give up a stone willingly and freely. Rather than the Warlock to just take them by force.

Hit: The visual effects for the Warlock and Paula Dare when they started floating is really good.

Miss: But it's immediately ruined when the scene switched to a horrible blue screen effect when they fly higher. 

Hit: There's a scene of Kenny, Will, Franks, Samantha and Reverend Ted in the middle of the street. And you can totally see Samantha's ass through her pink dress.

Miss: Kenny: "I didn't ask you to shoot me!" Will: "Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, the warrior rises from his own death. That's the way it's written." Why? Who the hell made up that rule? What, they couldn't just do a spell to unlock their "Druid Warrior" powers? Having one be killed and then brought back from the dead just to get magical powers is a bit extreme here.  

Real Talk: Kenny: "Well what else is written?" Will: "That the Warlock will come for the stones." Kenny: "So why don't we just run with them?" Will: "Cause he'll find us wherever we go." Yeah but he has less than six days left, you can just run with the stones until then. Just saying....

Miss: And just throwing this out there, Kenny's such a whiney bitch.

Miss: Reverend Ted: "You keep him away from her! I don't want your son around my daughter." Will: "There has to be two, Ted! Two!" So apparently there needs to be two Druid Warriors to fight the Warlock, which I have to ask why? Why not four Druid Warriors to fight him or six or eight? Hell, why not a whole freaking army to fight the Warlock? Just two magical people fighting the Warlock doesn't leave much room for error in case shit goes south.

Miss: The Warlock's a dick to rabbits.

Miss: Also when did the Warlock know how to drive a car? 

Miss: Nothing like a knock-off Star Wars training scene to pad out the movie. Hell even the music is ripping off Star Wars.

Miss: That CGI effect on that baseball is just terrible.

Real Talk: You know if Will trained Kenny at an early age then just maybe his control wouldn't suck so much ass.

Miss: *Movie cuts to some funhouse.* I got nothing matte paintings being use as backgrounds. Especially when work's been put to make it fit seamlessly with the rest of the scenery. But here, they didn't do a good job to make this obvious funhouse matte painting any less obvious. 

Real Talk: Fake psychic talking to the funhouse hustler: "Don't sell him the stone, he's evil. The deliverer of Armageddon." OK, thanks for the warning Discount Crazy Ralph.  

Hit: *The Warlock's upside down on the ceiling above the funhouse hustler.* Not a bad effect there.

Hit: And you gotta love Julian Sands performance when he's taunting the funhouse huslter. 

Real Talk: *Ethan (another druid) was about to stab the Warlock with a special dagger. But gets killed offscreen and see the bloody, gory aftermath when the Warlock gets off the elevator.* I feel sorry for the poor soul who has to clean up this mess.

Real Talk: *The Warlock and Nathan placing the stones on a table.* FOUR STONES, FOUR CRATES!

Real Talk: Nathan: "How much do you want for them?" Warlock: "They're not for sale." Nathan: "Everything is for sale." Warlock: "Including your soul?" Don't answer that!

Miss: Samantha has good control of her powers before she's reborn and seems to have some idea of what's going. While Kenny just sucks with his powers even after he's reborn. Why couldn't the movie follow her around instead of whiney ass Kenny?

Miss: That establishing shot of Kenny flowing in an obvious blue screen effect is just awful.

Real Talk: I'm surprised (and disappointed) that squirrel didn't try to bite Kenny's face off.

Hit: Samantha does a force choke on douchebag Andy.

Miss: Andy just up and leaves his truck behind after Samantha tells to leave. I'm sure this won't be a plot convenience for later.

Miss: Someone on the writing team wrote "Kenny and Samantha making out in the woods, at night, while leaves are falling on them". This is like if Twilight was made in the 90s; some weird ass erotic YA stories you see on the Lifetime channel. 

Hit: But hey if there's any consolation, Samantha ass shot. 

Miss: These people sees a poor woman tied and nailed upside down on a cross yet couldn't be bother to get her down. But hey lets blame the good magic person who had nothing to with it. What a bunch of assholes.

Real Talk/LOL: Look out, Kenny's scaring off the masses with his really shitty CGI baseball effect!

LOL: Warlock: "Give me the stone." Franks: "You'll never get the stone." Warlock: "GIVE ME THE STONE!" Franks: "YOU'LL NEVER GET THE STONE!" Warlock: "GIVE ME THE STONE!" Franks: "YOU'LL NEVER GET THE STONE!" I really got nothing here, it's just so goofy. 

Miss: The Warlock chops Franks' arm off, acquiring the fifth stone.* OK, so much for letting the person give up a stone willingly, freely.

Miss: So these Druids have a potion that heals and revives them from death. But for some reason Franks doesn't get that option after having both arms chopped by the Warlock then gets mercy killed by Kenny.

Real Talk: *Kenny gets impaled on a uprooted pipe after being blown away by the Warlock.* FATALITY!

Miss: Kenny sets the Warlock on fire and effects for that are not so good.

Real Talk: Don't mess with Will and Ted, they got double barrel shotguns.

Miss: There was clearly a third shot from one of their double barrel shotguns.

Miss: I'm sure Kenny really appreciates the healing support, Will but couldn't you pull out the pipe first?

Hit: Seeing Samantha gunning it on her motorcycle through the woods looks like I'm watching some high school/teenage action flick.

Real Talk: And now I said that, were there such films like that in the 90s.

Miss: Do I even need to mention how terrible the Warlock's flying effect are?

Hit: Samantha impales the Warlock with a tree branch, nice!

Miss: So instead of getting back on her bike and ride away. Samantha decides a better idea is move closer to the Warlock with the obvious chance that he's not dead and can easily get the stone. What a dumb ass....

Miss: As the Warlock pushes a large rock on Samantha, you can easily see a film crew pushing the (fake) rock in one scene. Then seeing a rope attached to the (fake) rock in the next scene. I guess doing retakes are for losers.

Hit: Super slo-mo panty shot action as Samantha gets force pushed by the Warlock. 

Miss: Dude, you didn't have to unbutton her dress you could've just pull the stone off of her by the necklace.

Real Talk: Oh no, the eclipse made everything go Day-For-Night!

Real Talk: So with all six stones, the Warlock can now place them on his gauntlet and erase half of the.... Sorry wrong movie...

Real Talk: *The Warlock binds Kenny with roots from a nearby tree.* Evil Dead flashbacks, again.

Miss: Kenny just summoned a bolt of lightning like he's freaking Thor yet can't switch on the headlights of Andy's truck. Oh fuck off....

Real Talk: *Kenny and Samantha were able to expose the stones with the headlights. Stopping the Warlock's ritual.* You might say that the Warlock was....BLIIIINDED BYYYY THE LIIIIIGHT!

Miss: So the Warlock brought along the one weapon (the dagger from Ethan) that can kill him. What a fucking idiot!

Miss: Dude, just stab Kenny already! Stop caressing him like a fucking creepo, gees!

Hit: Kenny uses headbutt, it was super effective.

Miss: Do I even need to mention how awful that CGI dagger is?

Hit: The practical effects of the Warlock melting and deteriorating after being stabbed, very cool.